Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 38, Number 42, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 February 1906 — Why Net a Jubilant Order of Jackasses? [ARTICLE]

Why Net a Jubilant Order of Jackasses?

It seems that it has got; so now days that no easier or readier means of making a living without earning it can be found that by studying up some rigamarole that no one ever heard of before, then to use it as a basis for a new secret order; and then sit down and whtch the money roll in, for lodge charters and grand lodge dues. How many new orders are thus sprung on an already overlodged world every year, probably no man knows, but they are a plenty. One of the latest of these, and so far as our knowledge goes, the most brainless in the ground-work of its organization, is The Benevolent Order of Buffaloes. It was organized in 1904, and has its headquarters in Cincinnati. From the word “Buffalo” and its synonymous word “Bison” are formed two acrostics, and on these the order is based. The acrostics are as follows: Benevolenee Broad-Minded U nion I ncorruptible Friendship Sale Faith Obliging A id N oble L abor v ' Obedience

This having been accomplished, they next stand old Bos Americanus on his head,-or in other words turn the buffalo upside down and then make another acrostic from the letters in his name, like this: O bscenity Liar A dultery Fraud Felon v U selessness -------- Brute Read downwards the initals in this acrostic make the word “Olaffub.” A new one on all of us. As shown by these acrostics, these words Buffalo and Bison signify the'good forces of human nature, while Olaftub signifies the opposite qualities. The grand noble, bob-tailed Bison, who is the grand secretary of the order, sends us the facts as above given, and adds that there will be a representative of the order here before long, to round, up a Herd of Buffaloes in Rensselaer. He has asked that mention be made of the fact of his coming, and also some explanation be made of the origin and scope of the order, which very reasonable requests we have herewith fully complied with. Before we leave this attractive subject however; and just to show how easy this acrostic business is to work, and also how easily the organizers of this new order might have seleetea a nobler and more useful and graceful.animal for the typical. foundation beast of their order, and also one which, perchance, would more fully symbolize the class of people from which they draw the bulk of their membership, let us consider the word Jackass and its "synonymous wbrd Donkey. Now see how easily the acrostics can be worked out for both of the words. * J oy D eceut A ssistance O bliging Charity Neighborly K indness * K indly Activity Imminent Sympathy Yearning Sincerity And then by turning good old Jack on Jiis head, as was done in the case of the Buffalo, see how easy it is to make an acrostic showing the bad qualities of pion and some Jacks, S alacious ■ 8 inful A trociotis K icker C ruel \ * A nger J ealousy And these initial letters spelled out side ways make the word “Ssakcaj’ ’ w bieh is .just as good i n Its way as O laf-fnb, or something, ever was. Therefore we see no good reason why the Benevolent Order of Buffaloes, might not better have been started as The Jubilant Order Of Jackasses.