Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 37, Number 50, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 July 1905 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 3 [ADVERTISEMENT]

CONDENSED STORIES. How Oliver Wetdell Holme# Rebuked a Dry Lecturer. Among the Rhodes scholarship youths whosailedonthelvernia for Oxford in September Paul Nixon of Wesleyan was conspicuous. It was Mr. Nixon who conceived and carried out the happy idea that all these intelligent young men should depart for the other side in the same boat. Some reporters on the day he sailed tried to get from Mr. Nixon a voluminous interview. They tried to persuade the young man to give at length his views on the wisdom of the Cecil Rhodes scholarships. He would not talk, however. “I don’t want to bore you and the public,” he said, smiling. “I don’t . < - t- — - ■ ■ ■ m ... i jak. Al I i jE (NX ■■til •’ i Vi ■ ■ /1 b/ ■ pjt Jr 1 T U "I NEVER DID LIKE THOSE LYNN PEOPLE.” want to put myself in the position of the lecturer whom Oliver Wendell Holmes rebuked. “This lecturer was dry—as dry as I would be if I should attempt to criticise the Rhodes will. He called on Dr. Holmes one day, and the two men, knowing one another well, talked together jocularly. “ ‘Well/ said the humorist, ‘what are you doing now ?’ “ ‘Lecturing,’ said the lecturer. “ ‘Still lecturing, eh ?’ “‘Yes. I hold forth at Lynn tonight.’ “ ‘l’m glad of it/ said Dr. Holmes. ‘I never did like those Lynn people/ ” —Buffalo Enquirer. Women Are Peculiar. “Two very well dressed young women drove up here in a hansom cab the other day,” said Gustave Dorval of the Central Park casino. “One of them was the wife of a Wall street broker, who frequently brings her here to dinner, so I sent one of my best waiters to attend to them. They only wanted some lemonade and cake. When they paid their check there was a silver quarter left on the plate. “‘Just give our driver a drink and a cigar and keep the change/ said the broker’s wife to the waiter, with a generous smile. * “The boy knew his business. He never cracked a smile. He got cabby a fifteen cent drink and a fifteen cent cigar, bowed and thanked the ladies when they left the table and then came and collected a nickel from me. Women are peculiar.”— New York Times. New Kind of Bait. Frank R. Stockton used to tell a story of finding a boy on the bank of a stream holding his pole far out over the water and waiting patiently for a bite, says the New York Tribune. “How far is it to the lake above here?” asked Stockton.' “About two miles,” answered the boy indistinctly, apparently with his mouth half full of food. “What have you got in your mouth ?” was the next question. “Wurms, thirl” “Well/’ Said the novelist, “this is the first time, I ever heard of a lellow fishing with baited breath.” ’ “ '■' ; Th# Abul df Hbhdvty. Congressman J. Adam Bede was consulting with President Roosevelt | laat spring altput a minor federal' ' Mjpoiqtment in the Minnesota diafnct Which fie represents’ I ,IC After mskihg' seVdthl Inquiries Abaut thO'ffiAh the* prfefiiflent abruptly said, “la he an honest man ?* | “An. honest mtpi!” returned Mr. Bede. “Why, see here, Mr. President, that man wouldn’t fob a railroad company, not if he had the chancel”—New York Tribune. A Wattarson Story. Colonel Henry Watterson recently told a story of an old negro down south who was informed that if he was bitten by a snake and drank a quart of whisky the snake would die and he would go unscathed. “Dar’s only one trouble ’bout dat cure,” the old man said; “I knows whar dere’s plenty snakes, Jjut whar*s 1 gwine ter git de whisky ?”