Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 37, Number 33, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 April 1905 — Her Transformation. [ARTICLE]

Her Transformation.

She drank quantities of water, ate a lot of starchy foods, Abstained from exercising every day; She assimilated .lactic and a case of malted goods, But it seemed her fate to have to fade away. She so mourned -attenuatioin, with a visage like an owl’s, That-a smile upon her face was never seen; While below her mouth were wrinkles, and above her eyes were scowls. And hea- nose was like a hatchet in between. But one day she fell to laughing in a strange, hysteric way, Just in thinking how ridiculous it proved; And it mellowed to a cackle that was sane enough/ they say, Till at last she giggled every time she moved. Why, she chuckled out her wrinkles, and she i dickered off her frowns, And than took to all the things she shouldn’t do; Now she’s grown as fat as butter, and has outgrown all her gowns; But she laughs away at that disaster, too. —Woman’s Home Companion.