Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 37, Number 26, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 April 1905 — The Comic Side OF The News [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Comic Side OF The News

It Is about time to name some good race horse nfter Kuropatkin. President Roosevelt doesu’t find it necessary to throw the big stick into the plum tree. And yet, only a year or so ago, President Castro was hiding under Uncle Sam’s coattails. How many of the 100,000 Russians saved from Mukden broke the world’s running record? Those French bankers might lend Russia the money if it could get Japan to go on the note. According to report a Russian warship is patrolling the Red Sea. Sue may be looking for blood. Maybe the idea is that the Japanese will be too chivalrous to fight an army led by a grand duke. It is to he hoped that that Denver religious revival will boil over into Utah before it. simmers down. There are liars, worse liars, statisticians, circulation managers and the Weather Bureau experts. Labor leaders note that the President gets a salary of $50,000 a year, but has to have a Union to do it. "Santo Domingo” means “Holy Sabbath.” Live up to your name. Sauty, and give us a day of rest ( Judging from Hocli’s portraits, it was an exceptionally smooth and persuasive tongue that did the business. The Kansas Legislature has adjourned, but the beef trust and the Standard Oil are still in executive session. The tobacco trust has no need to worry. Until the beef trust is made to toe the mark it may rest perfectly easy.