Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 37, Number 17, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 March 1905 — He Should Have Subscribed [ARTICLE]

He Should Have Subscribed

A man was too sting to pay for a newspaper, and, as he could not not get along without it, he sent bis little boy to borrow the copy taken by bis neighbors. In his haste the boy ran over a $4 etand of bees, and in ten minutes looked like a warty summer squash. His cries reached his father, who ran to his aesis'anoe, and failing to notice a barbed wire fence, ran into it, breaking it down, cutting a handful of fl-sh frem his anatomy and ruining a $4 piir of panto. The old cow took advantage of the gap iu thi fence and got into the corn field and killed herself eating green corn. Hearing the racket the wife ran, upeet a four gallon chu»n full of rich cream into a basket of kittens, drowning the whole flock. In the hurry she dropped a 47 get of f i.'sa teeth. The baby, being left alone, crawled through the* spilled cream and into the .parlor, ruining a brand new S2O carpet. During the excitement the o!dt st daughter ran away with the hired man; the dog broke up eleven settling hens, and the calves got out and chewed the tails rff four fine shirts —Ex.