Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 36, Number 138, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 December 1904 — HIS TIME TO GLOAT. [ARTICLE]

HIS TIME TO GLOAT.

I am a vegetarian. No heifer fed barbarian; I live on things agrarian. But never fool with meat. I’m dhe of those that like, you s< % The grass that lines the pike, you see; And so this packer strike, you see, To me is quite a treat. ( laugh to think of those who eat That horrid, germ fraught stuff called meat — All now a-shake from head; to feet For fear of rising prices. No odds to us if beef should be Two-sixty-flve a pound, for we Don't eat the dirty stuff, you see, But live on grains and rices. I thought this morning, as I lay And hungered for my morning hay, How, ere the closing of the day. The price of pork might rise; I pitied all who didn't know „• How nicely ragweed pork chops < r o When one is tired a bit; and Gj, The taste of pecan pies! We oft eat roasts of who knows what Served up to us all piping hot, And “steaks” consisting of a lot Of weeds we cannot name; A consomme of maple limbs. A puree made of Watts hymns— These soups delight our fats and slims And eke our halt ami lame. While they who long for flesh are m gaunt Because of meat there is a want, Our sirloin cabbages we flaunt, And liver made of radish; We stuff on sausage made of oats Instead of fragments saved from shotes; On string bean hash each veggy dotes— Some pe pie say we're faddish. Head che se we make from barl;»y pol'j. From cowslips we construct veal rolls That you could not to save your souls, From real meat discern. In brief, to make a long tale short, We don't eat naught we hadn't ort; And If no meat should reach our port We wouldn’t yearn a yearn. —Baltimore American.