Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 35, Number 81, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 June 1903 — Mixed Spices [ARTICLE]

Mixed Spices

Some time ago a Rookport paper got an item mixed in snoh a way that the pnblio was given this startling information: A shorthorn editor in Kansas gave biith to a ball aalf with two heads.” Managing Editor■T ’’What is your specialty?” Applioant (haughtily): “I have jnst graduated from college.” “ Well, yon might aooept the position of editcr-in-ohief, until some of your knowledge wears off.”—Life A book canvasser went into a barber's shop and asked the proprietor if he oonld sell him an encyclopaedia. “What’s that?” asked the barber. “It,s a book that contains information on every subjeot in the world.” Theie was a victim in the ohair and he put in feebly, He '‘doesn’t need it.”

“What on earth are you doing in here, Tommy?” asked a mother as she peered into the hen house from hence came a series of squkking and flapping of wings. *‘l/am trying,” said Tommy, who seemed to be doing something with a knotted rope, “to fix this old rooster so his alarm won’t go off in the morning before seven o’clock.” “An! Good morning. Mr. Editor.” said the rnral looking visitor briskly, entering the saotnm. “I’ve brought yon in some spring poultry, whioh I—”

“Get out! Get out! Take it away!” exclaimed the busy editor, savagely. “I don’t want it! Haven’t any room for it.” The rural-appearing visitor hurried out, looking soared. The society reporter got his breath and grasped: “Wh wh-wh-what’s this? No room for spring poultry? ’ Poultry! Great Heavens!” and the editor got op and tore his hair. “I thought he said poetry.”