Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 35, Number 76, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 May 1903 — OUT OF THE WRONG BOTTLE. [ARTICLE]

OUT OF THE WRONG BOTTLE.

Trouble In tfte Thompkine Family When Medicines Got Mixed. ■Here's « story John W. Gates tellsi “Did you hear about Thompkins and his wife? No? Well, Thump kina* wife had a cough, so she told him to get her a bottle of cough mediclna. When he was buying It the druggist remarked incidentally that he had some of the best' hair restorer that ever gladdened the heart of a baldheaded man. Thompkins is baldheaded, but he pretended he didn't hear. Ha bought a cigar and talked polities^with two or three cf the boys for a while and just before he left for home he said to the druggist: “Say, old, man, got any stluff that’s good for the hair —make It—cr-—sort 6f grow, you know?” “Oh, yes,” said the druggist. “Well,” said Tompkins, “guess 11l take a bottle. My brother-in-law is regular (dude and likes such things.” two bottles were about the same size, hut that wasn’t the druggist’s fault Thompkins opened them both when he got home. That night after he had undressed he happened to think that it might be a good thing to try] a little of the hair restorer. In the dark he got hold of his wife’s cough medicine and he plastered it all over his bald bead. It was good and sticky and It hung right on. Mrs. Thompkins had a violent fit of coughing dur-Tfirgrtbe-nlght and. Jo_ feel ing around the closet for her medleine goFTTOId of-tbeL hair restorer. She took a big dose and then hollered: “Fire!” Thompkins awoke with a yell. There had been a little slit in the pillow case and he had rolled around with his stick head until he had made a great hole in the -case jind had all the feathers worth mentioning flaring out Trom his cranium so that he looked like the banshee in an Irish folklore tale He came rushing to Mrs. Thompkins’ assistance. She thought It ; was the evil one taking a half-holiday and again hollered, this time louder than ever: “Fire! Police! Fire!” The hired girl ran out into the night with nothing on but a sweater and a pair of rubber boots and turned in a general alarm. It cost Thofnpkins 516.50 to make It all right with the fipejpen, but he says the experience was cheap at the price, as the cough mixture started his hair to growing again. Incidentally his wife’s cough has disappeared.—New York Press,