Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 34, Number 98, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 August 1902 — Novel Reasons of a Judge. [ARTICLE]

Novel Reasons of a Judge.

A Philadelphia magistrate is sometimes a little eccentric in the punishment of those hauled before him for misdemeanors. The other day Bill Jones, who had been found upon the public highway minus the faculty of navigation, was arraigned before him. “Married or single?” asked the magistrate. “Single, sir,” replied the shaking culprit. “You ought to get married. If you had a wife and family to occupy your attention you would have no desire to drink,” said the magistrate. “I’ll discharge you, but I hope that you’ll give to matrimony more thought than you have to liquor. John Smith, who had also been arrested for being intoxicated, was next called. “Married or single, John?” queried the magistrate. “Married, your honor,” was the prisoner's reply. “Then you have no business getting drunk. Drinking should be done by single men who have no family to require their cash. You ought to have remained single, then the damage you are doing would fall upon you alone. Go home and think it over.”