Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 34, Number 96, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 August 1902 — The Comic Side oF The News [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Comic Side oF The News

Beware of the soft drink in too large quantities. In regard to Mr. Cleveland, is Col. Watterson all in?. What will President John Mitchel) do with all his bouquets? Hobson should enter a caveat against the whole of womankind. ■* Gen. Smith may be glad that retirement from the army was all he got. Is the Chicago safety-deposit box really no better than the old stocking? Farmers along the Mississippi River arc having the “water cure” administered to their crops. It may be that the coal trust is keeping up the strike just to get the people used to high prices. By this time the Mayor of Minneapolis is probably convinced that the grand jury is a prejudiced body. Mary Mac Lane docs not read all that is printed about her. The poor girl has to have some sleep. While collecting her scattered diamonds May Yohe made no attempt to gather up her scattered husbands. Gen. Bragg should hasten to demonstrate that it is an easy chore to make a whistle from a pig's tail. —.With its Mayor far away in one direction and its chief of police in another, Minneapolis breathes easier. , Bandit Tracy's method of paying for his meals would never become popular with timid eastern landladies. We may be able to live without Mr. Wu, but for the first week it will seem as though something were lacking. Midsummer floods and spring droughts demonstrate that the old reliable patent medicine almanac is no longer running the weather.

Gen. Bragg thinks letter* to hi* wife should be private communication*. He should labor with the lady to make her ace it that way. Chiegjo bookmaker* who put their mopeyln those Masonjc Temple safety deposit vault* now know how people feel when they have deposited money on surething tip* with tile tookmaker*. Down at Evansville, Ind., a baseball umpire shot a pitches who took exceptions to hia ruling*. This shows that there la none no downtrodden but that he will turn when the pressure becomes too great.