Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 22, Number 81, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 June 1901 — Page 3

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Beyond His Jurisdictien.

After hearing evidence in an assault case between man and wife, in which the wife had had a deal of provocation, the magistrate, turning to the husband, remarked: “My good man, I really cannot do anything in this case.” "But she has cut a piece of my ear off. sir,” “Well,” said the magistrate, “I will bind her over to keep the peace.” “You can't,” shouted the husband; “she’s thrown it away.”—Tid-Bits.

If Coffee Poisons Yon. ruins yonr digestion, makes yon nervous and sallow complexioned, keeps yon awake nights and acts against your system generally, try Graiu-O, the new food drink. It is made of pure selected grain and is healthful, nourishing and appetising. It has nope of the bad effects of coffee, ye( it is Just as pleasant to the taste, and when properly prepared can’t be told from the finest coffees. Costs about ii as much. It is a healthful table drink for the children and adults. Ask ydur grocer for Grain-0. 15 and 25c.

Natural Causes.

Juryman—Yes, we brought in a verdict of death from natural causes. Reporter—But an iron beam fell on him from the fourth floor? Juryman—Of course. Wasn’t that natural? You wouldn’t expect it to fall up on the eighth floor, would you? That’s where he ought to have been at work instead of down in the basement.— Judge.

The Corn-Fed Philosopher.

“Heredity is not everything,” said the Cornfed Philosopher. “I know several fellows that were born gentlemen whom you would never suspect of such a thing.”—lndianapolis Press. Piso’s Cure is the best medicine we ever used for all affections of the throat and lungs—Wm. O. Endsley, Vanburen, Ind.. Feb. 10, 1900. One of the best effects of thorough intellectual training is a knowledge of our own capacities.—Bain. \

So^odont ▲ Perfect Liquid Dentifrice for tha Teeth and Breath 25* Sozodont Tooth Powder Both forms of Sozodont at the Stores or by Mail; price, 35c. each; Large Sizes, together, Tso HALL A RUCKEL, New York M EXCURSION RATES to Western Canada and particulars as to liow lo secure 180 acres of the best Wheat growing land on the Continent, can be secured on application to the Superintendent of Immigration, Ottawa. Canada, or the undersigned. Specially conducted excursions will lease fit. Paul, Minn., on the Ist *nd 8d Tuesday in each month, and specially low rates on all lines of railway are being quoted for ezrureions leering St. Paul on March 28th and April 4th, for Manitoba, Assinlbois, Saskatchewan and Alberto. Write to F. Pedley, Supt. immigration, Ottawa, Canada, or the undersigned, who will mail you atlases, pamphlets, etc., freeof cost: C. J. Broughton, 1228 Monndnock Bldg., Chicago; N. Bartholomew, 806 sth St., Des Moines. Iowa; M. V. Mqlunes. Sft 2 Merrill Block, Detroit. Mich.; J. Grlere, Saginaw. Mich.: T. O. Currie, 1 New Insuranoe Building, Milwaukee, Wit.: E. T. Holmes. Indianapolis, Ind., Agents for the Government of Canada. A Skin of Boftuty Is A Joy Forovor. Thß. T. FELIX SOURADM ORIENTAL 1 > CREAM, OR MAGICAL BEACTiriEH. £ o M'gw Remove Tan. Ptmples, Freckles, -a B MWeSk Moth Patches, Rash, and Skin 9 I . diseases, and erery hlsmish on S“s gif fSLFz&tt jrs ***°'r. * cd . d ' n '« s#fSr»3 /®sfiStatji*ofK g»ijf * Jr fcSEe' Gn t fJ to bs surs it is prop S 5 X •*-€ Xc\ or| r made. .Accept jk 1 no ooanterfdt of f | him said to a Jjm WL \ lady of the haat-ton XtL \ (■ patient): "A* you 1 \ ladies will nee Own, ,r ßfl f‘rlt }\ \ 1 recommand ‘flour J? 1 J sud’sCream'as the / ' yS.vla' / >JII least harmful es all XI 1% L **’ tbs Skin pre paraV. / J 11 Jv tlons.” For sals by IV all OrnnMs and FancyOaods Dealers in the C. 8., Canadas and Europe. _ FKSD.T. BOFXIItg. Ptwp’r.lT Qraa* Jonea EL, X.T. ATTERTIORI

A Natural Lighthouse.

Among the world’s curiously formed trees, the Asiatic star tree is not conspicuous, but among nature’s freaks in the tree class it stands alone. Its properties are entirely peculiar to itself. Its history is clouded, its attributes unlike anything seen in other 'trees. >• Enormously tall, a man of ordinary height is dwarfed into nothingness beside its trunk. Bare from the ground up to a distance of about forty feet, it puts forth at that place a hundred tangled limbs. From the latter there shoot out great clusters of long, pointed leaves, which, bunching themselves together, exude a kind of phosphorescent light at night, giving a strange spectral appearance to*tlie big tree.. Travelers on'the desert, descrying this tree at night, frequently mistake the giant-leaved thing for the illuminated window of a house or some lonely tower. The light is not brilliant; it is subdued, but voluminous, and lasts until daybreak.

Dutchmen of Seventeenth Century.

These Dutchmen, heavy-footed, solid, grim, were in the seventeenth century, to use the phrase of a French writer, “the Phoenicians of the modern world, the wagoners of all seas.” They were the commercial heirs of Venice. The fire of their long struggle for freedom bad given to the national character the edge and temper of steel. They had swept the Spanish flag from the seas. The carrying trade of the world was in their hands. They fished in all waters, traded in all ports, gathered the wealth of the world under all skies, and, as far as marine qualities were concerned, might almost have been web-footed. Holland to-day is a land without ambition, comfortable, fat, heavy-bottom-ed. In the middle of the seventeenth century Holland claimed to be the greatest naval power in the world, and by daring seamanship, great fleets, famous admirals, and a world-eneqmpass-Ing trade it went far to justify that boast.—Coruhill Magazine.

Many Denominations in One Wedding

“The college roommate of a friend of mine was engaged to a lady In New York,” writes the Rev. D. M. Steele in his article on “Some People I Have Married,” In the Ladles’ Home Journal. “His people are Congregationalists, but while at Yale he became a Unitarian. Her parents are Roman Catholics, but she was a member of the Ethical Culture Society at Carnegie Hall. In compliance with her mother’s wish he asked five different priests to marry them, but all refused. In despair he came for me. I married them, an Episcopalian, with the ritual service In a Presbyterian chapel. The Roman Catholic hrotherfof the bride and the Congregational sister of the groom were present. This sister acted as one witness; the other witness was a Jewess.”

The Best Way

To the Pan-American is by the Michigan Central, for it is not only “The Niagara Falls Route,” but its train service Is superb. The Pan-American Special is a swell trains It has the finest equipment the Pullman and Michigan Central shops can turn out. It leaves Chicago 6 p. m„ serves dinner In one of its famous dining cars, stops at Falls View next morning, and reaches Buffalo 7:45 a. in. You cau’t do better. Send for folder to L. D. Huesner, General Western Passenger Agent, 119 Adams 6treet, Chicago.

Josh’s Future.

“I guess mebbe Josh is goin to be. a great financier, an’ git money by hia braina,” remarked Fanner Corntoaael. “Does he take such an interest in commercial affairs?” "No. But he’s got to get a livin’ somehow. An’ he jes’ won’t work,” —Waahington Bur.

THE SOCIAL SECRETARY.

A Useful Functionary Found in Some Big Department Stores. It is depressing to feel one’s self only one of 500 employes—and not an important one. It is natural that such a feeling should foster a notion that one is being slighted or overburdened or possibly persecuted. When imagination goes to this length work suffers as well as the worker. To save them both some of the great department stores have engaged discreet and tactful women whom they call “social secretaries.” The social secretary is an intermediary between the employer and the saleswoman, and her duty is* to keep them both from making mistakes, says a writer In the Youth’s Companion. She is not expected to overlook wrong-do-ing, but neither is she desired to remain silent when she thinks an employe is unjustly treated. She has authority to send a delicate girl home early on a stormy day. She can recommend a clever girl for promotion. She is qualified to “mother” the sick and encourage the sensitive, and she must be brave enough if occasion arises to tell her employers unpalatable but wholesome truths. We hear of one social secretary who organized among the saleswomen an Insurance club, a mutual benefit association and a social club that arranges for summer outings and ■winter parties. Another hunted up a quiet farmhouse home for girls who were tired or ill. and sent them there, and kept them there until they regained health. But the social secretary’s best is done in meeting the little needs of every day and advising her associates for their physical, intellectual and moral good. “The firm” may seem.remote and inaccessible, but this just and sympathetic woman stands very near. Wherever the experiment has been made, apparently, the social secretary has become a fixture. Efforts like hers profit the employer as well as the employes, because they directly promote that spirit of willing service which adds so much to a worker’s value. Once convinced that she is not held in disdain or viewed as simply a part of a money-making machine—that she is the object of good-will and kindly remembrances—the girl in the department store solves her personal “labor problem” as we all may solve our own, by doing her best work and doing it cheerfully.

Information Wanted.

Mr. Clubman (to sergeant at police station) —I would like to have an interview with that burglar you arrested for break&g into my house last night. Sergeant—l don’t know that I can allow you unless you first tell me what you want to see him about. Mr. Clubman —Oh, there’s nothing secret about it. I just wanted to find out how he got into my house so easily; it’s more than I can do at night.—Boston Courier.

Do Your Feet Ache and Burn?

Shake into your shoes, Allen’s FootEase, a powder for the feet, It makes tight or New Shoes feel Easy, (lures Corns, Bunions, Swollen, Hot and Sweating Feet. At all * Druggists and Shoe Stores, 25c. Sample sent FREE. Address Allen S. Olmsted, Leßoy, N. Y.

An Unjust Epithet.

Hungry Higgins—Wot do you think? A woman called me a animated scarecrow this morning. Weary Watkins—l’ve knowed you sence the early eighties, but I never seen no animation about you yet.—The Indianapolis Press. riTA Permanently Cared. No flu or nenrouenees after PI I O flint day’s use of Dr. Kline's Great Nerve Restorer. Send for FKEE $9.00 trial bottle and treatises DR. R. H. KLINE. Ltd.. Ml Arch St.. Philadelphia, Pa. When first introduced from the East tea was sold in England for £lO a pound —over SSO. The best grades brought twice this sum. Mr*. Winslow’s Soothiso Hthttt tor Children teething: gottens the jtnma. reduces inflammation. sUstr pain, cures wind colic. 25 cents s bottle.

Liver Don’t Act? You know very well how you feel when your liver don’t act. Bile collects in the blood, bowels become constipated and your whole system is poisoned. A lazy liver is an invitation for a thousand pains and aches to come and dwell with you. Your life becomes one long measure of irritability and despondency and bad feeling. CASCARETS act directly, and in a peculiarly happy manner on the liver and bowels, cleansing, purifying, revitalizing every portion of the liver, driving all the bile from the blood, as is soon shown by increased appetite for food, power to digest* it, and strength to throw off the waste. of Imitations! jet swimmin’.”—Washington 9^ “I han keen troablcd a great deal r for a torpid liver, which produces cons tips- Tha* JBSw V tioa. I found CASCARETS to be nil you : b a claim for them, and secured such relief the “Ap. WH ed first trial that I purchased another supply I jay and was completely cured. I shall only be .. . ~ tnc too glad to recommend Casearets whenever lnr sing the opportunity la presented ” J. K Smith, hat A 2WB Susquehanna Are.. Philadelphia, Pa. “He did it “uickly and —-**matically BEST FOR BOWELS AND LIVER. never sold m bulk. THE TABLET DRUGGISTS

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Look on This Picture and on That “All’s fair in lov€ and war,” is a common but, it is to be hoped, not wholly true saying; otherwise some of the meanest acts would be excused. Napoleon was not above the paltriest deeds. At the battle of Dresden, in ISIS; he noticed that a group of officers had ridden within gunfire, and had his artillery send a shower of shot amongst them. “There are,” he*said, “perhaps some little generals in their midst”—in the Emperor’s mind he was the only great general. A gun was discharged at the group, and Moreau, a famous French soldier w'ho had joined the Allies, and who was almost as fine a general as Napoleon, was fatally injured. Curiously enough, in the course of the battle of Waterloo (1815), a colonel in command of a battery of British artillery reported to Wellington that he had the range of the spot where Napoleon and his staff were standing, and asked if he might pick some of them off. “Not at all,” replied the Iron Duke, “generals-in-chief have something else to do in battle than fire at each other.”

Ambrose McKay’s Case.

Rockbridge, Mo., June 24.—The neighborhood and particularly the members of Rockbridge Lodge, No. 435, A. F. & A. M.. are feeling very much pleased over the recovery of Mr. Ambrose McKay, a prominent citizen and an honored member of the Masonic Fraternity. Mr. McKay had been suffering for years with Diabetes and Rheumatism, which recently threatened to end his days. His limbs were so tilled with pain that he could not sleep. He was very bad. Just then some one suggested a new remedy—Dodd’s Kidney Pills—which has been much advertised recently as a cure for Bright’s Disease, Diabetes, Dropsy, Rheumatism and : Kidney Trouble. After Mr. McKay had used a few doses, he commenced to improve. His pain all left him, and he is almost as well as ever. He says Dodd’s Kidney Pills are worth much more than they cost. They are certainly getting a great reputation in Missouri, and many very startling cures are being reported.

The Wickedest Bit of Sea.

Nine out of ten travelers would tell inquirers that the roughest piece of water is that cruel stretch in the English channel, and nme out of ten travelers would say what was not true. In reality the “wickedest bit of sea” is not in the Dover straits; or in yachting, for example, from St. Jean de Luiz up to Pauillac; or across the Mediterranean race from Cadiz to Tangiers. Nor is it in rounding Cape Horn, where there is what sailors call a “true” sea. The “wickedest sea” is encountered In rounding the Cape of Good Hope for the eastern ports Of Cape Colony.

Not Cold-Blooded.

Gothamite —I suppose you may think we New-Yorkers are rather severe on your Boston girls when we speak of their cold-bloodedness? Hubbite—Not at all; so many of your fellows have been frozen out by them, you know. —Boston ffranscript.

What Do the Children Drink?

Don’t give them tea or coffee. Have you tried the new food drink called GRAIN-0? It is delicious and nourishing and takes the place of coffee., The more Grain-0 you give the children the more health you distribute through their systems. Grain-O is, made of pure grains, and when properly prepared tastes like the choice grades of coffee, but costs about 14 as much. All grocers sell it. 15c and 25c.

Her Idea.

Miss Bridesoon—What is your idea of the ideal lover? Miss Yellowleaf—The one who marries.

Hall’s Catarrh Cure.

Is a constitutional cure. Price 75 cents. The coffee plant is a variety of the cinchona' family.

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