Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 22, Number 79, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 June 1901 — Soliloquy of the Boarding-House Man [ARTICLE]

Soliloquy of the Boarding-House Man

To move or not to move, that is the question. Whether ’tis wiser in the paunch to suffer The dyspeptic fodder of a villainous acullion, - " - Or to pack trunks and fly to other cooking, And by moving mend it? To pack, to flee, To go, and by a move to say we end The maw ache and the thousadd frightful things . That hash Is heir to; ’tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished. To go, to more. To move we know not where, Aye, there’s the rub, For in that change of room what cooks might come, Red armed and grimy handed, to serve the table, 'Must give us pause; there’s'the respect That makes calamity of boarding life; For who would bear the hash and soups and prunes. The leathery meats and aged fowls and eggs, The rooms unswept, the groaning harshness of the squeaky bed, The insolence of chambermaids and things That patient merit of the landlady takes, When he himself might his quick rescue make By a change of room? Who would dyspepsia call To rack his stomach and to weary life. Butr that the dread of other rooms and .cooks Sickens the stomach, puzzles the will, And makes us rather bear those cooks we have Than fly to others we know notlof? Thus boarding doth make cowards of us all, - And thus resolution halts and falters, While we grow pale and thin and weazen featured, Ready to drop into untimely graves. —New York Herald.