Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 22, Number 78, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 June 1901 — Page 3

The Jester and the Czar..

The Russian court jester was trying hi# best to cheer up his imperial master. “If you were dean of the college «f czars,” he playfully remarked, “what would you then become?” The Czar looked at the jester coldly. “Well, what?” he asked. “A-a czar-dean, your majesty, ''of course.” The Czar scowled. “You have a! very pretty wit—for the Siberain frontier,” he said. “Away with him!”—-Cleveland Plain Dealer.

A Substitute.

“Gee whizz!” exclaimed the young beif edick, “what ails this mince pie?” “Why, nothing,” replied his wife, who was a white ribboner. “I followed the recipe except where it called for brandy. I substituted root beer for that.”—Catholic Standard and Times.

Couldn’t Wear Shoes.

Sumpter, 111., June 10.—Mrs. J. B. Flanigan of this place had suffered with Dropsy for fifteen years. She was so very bad. that for the last three years she has not been able to wear her shoes. She had doctored all the time, but was gradually getting worse. Last winter Mr. Flanigan, who was very much discouraged, called for some medicine at Mr. J. J. Dale’s drug store in Carmi. Mr. Dale persuaded him to have his wife try Dodd’s Kidney Pills, and he bought six boxes. His wife used five out of the before she was entirely (hired. She is now as sound and well as ever she was, completely restored to health, and free from any symptom whatever of Dropsy. To say that Mrs. Flanigan is pleased at her wonderful deliverance does not half express her feelings, and she and Mr. Flanigan are loud in their praises of Dodd’s Kidney Pills, and of Mr. Dale for recommending this wonderful remedy to them. The fact that Dodd’s Kidney Pills cured Mrs. Flanigan of such a severe case of Dropsy, after the doctors had given her up, has made them the most talked of remedy ever known in White County.

But There Was Trouble.

Mr. Mann—Can you—er —take pills, my dear? Mrs. Mann—Oh, yes; without a bit of trouble. Mr. Mann —Thank goodness! I have a bitter one for you. I just sat down on your hat anrl squashed it as flat as a pancake.—Philadelphia Bulletin.

If Coffee Poisons Yon.

ruins your digestion, makes you nervous and sallow complexioned, keepk you awake nights and acts against your system generally, try Graiu-O, the new food drink. It is made of pure selected grain and is healthful, nourishing and appetising. It has none of the bad effects of coffee, yet it is just as pleasant to the taste, and when properly prepared can’t be told from the finest coffees. Costs about Vt as much. It is a healthful table drink for the children and adults. Ask your grocer for Grain-O. 15 and 25c.

The Proper Spirit.

First Doctor—l don't think it absolutely necessary to operate. Second Doctor —But I told them that it was. “Oh, well, then, as a matter of professional courtesy, I, of course, shall stand by what you said.” —Pittsburg Dispatch.

Does Your Feet Ache and Burn?

Shake into your shoes Allen’s FootEase, a powder for the feet. It makes tight or new shoes feel easy. Cures Corns, Bunions, Swollen, Hot and Sweating Feet. At all druggists and shoe stores, 25c. Sample sent FREE. Address Allen S. Olmsted, Leßoy, N, Y.

A Problem Solved.

George—Why do women talk so much? Fanny—So that men can’t. They think the lesser of two evils the better. —The King. I am sure Piso’s Cure for Consumption saved my life three years ago.—Mrs. Thos. Robbins, Maple street, Norwich, N. Y., Feb. 17, 1900.

Good Exercise.

Flim—l’m playing golf. What do you do for exercise? Flam—Play the races.

WHY MRS. PINKHAM

Ib Able to Help Sick Women When Doctors Fall. How gladly would men fly to woman’s aid did they but understand a woman's feelings, 1 trials, sensibilities, and peculiar organic disturbances. Those things are known only to women, and the aid a man would givs is not at his command. To treat a case properly it is necessary to know all about it, and full information, many times, cannot bo given by a woman to her family phy*

gieian. She cannot bring herself to tell everything, and the physician is at a constant disadvantage. This is why, for the past twenty-five years, thousands of womw. have been confiding their troubles to Mrs. Pinkham, and whose advice hns brought happiness and health to countless women in the United States. Mrs. Chappell, of Grant Park, 111., whose portrait we publish, advises all suffering women to seek Mrs. Pinkham's advice and use Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, as they cured her of inflammation of the ovaries and womb; she, therefore, speaks from knowledge, and her experience ought to give others confidence. Mrs. Pinkbarn’s address is Lynn, Mass., and her advice is absolutely free.

VON WALDERSEE’S RECALL.

State Department at Washineton Receive* Notification from Herlin. The State Department at Washington has been informed by the German government that in view of the favorable circumstances Field Marshal Count von Waldersee, on duty in China as com-

COUNT VON WALDERSEE.

mander-in-chief of the allied forces, would be recalled. Nothing was contained in the notification about the withdrawal of the large German military contingent in China, but it is believed in official circles that Count von Waldersee’s recall will be coincident with the reduction of the German-fofces. There is some ground for this belief in reports from China and Count von Waldersee has been endeavoring to charter transports. While no -direct suggestion has been made by Germany that a successor of Count von Waldersee as commander-in-chief of the foreign troops in China be chosen by the powers, it was intimated Tuesday afternoon that this matter had been considered, and that, the United States would not put forward a candidate.

WILL CARRY 1,000 TEACHERS.

Vessel for the Philippines with n Unique Passenner List. If the plans of Secretary Root and Col. Edwards, chief of the insular bureau of the War Department, are carried out, there will soon sail from San Francisco a ship with the most unique passenger list ever recorded. The vessel will carry 1,000 teachers for educational work in the Philippines. Since the Philippine commission has urged 'Secretary Root to send • 1,000 teachers to the Philippines; the insular hureau has been swamped with applications from school teachers. The applicants must be either normal or college graduates; must have several years’ successful experience in school work, and be now engaged in teaching, and must be physically sound and able to withstand a tropical climate, and accept whatever location may be assigned to them by the general superintendent of education for the Philippines. These teachers must also agree to remain three years. The salary will be $75 a month (gold) and traveling expenses from the United States.

JUSTICE BREWER WEDDED.

Member of the Highest Bench in the Land United to Mine Mott. Official circles have not been so deeply agitated for months over a social matter as over the wedding of Associate United

JUSTICE BREWER Thursday at Burlington, Vt. Judge Brewer is (55, and his bride is 50. The

wedding was very quiet. Miss Mott is the daughter of Dr. EuaV'e M. Mott, of Chateaugay, Franklin ffounty, New York. In 1885 she went to Washington, D. C. She became a member of the First Congregational Church about the time that Justice Brewer made his home in the capital city. The justice took charge of a Bible class, and Miss Mott was one of his first pupils. Until recently she was a principal in one of the Washington schools.

▲ Kansas poultry association figures it •at that Kansas ships abroad 28,000,000 ■ggs every year.

HERE SHE IS AGAIN.

StatesJustiee Brewer to Miss Emma Mina Mott. The wedding took place

VICTORY FOR MRS. EDDY.

Verdict for the Defense in the Famous Christian Science Libel r'uit. Mrs. Eddy will not have to pay Mrs. Woodbury $150,000 or any other sum. The Judge took the case away from th«

jury because there was no evidence to show that the defendant, when speaking of “the Babylonish wo - man,” meant the plaintiff. The famous Boston libel suit of Mrs. Josephine Woodbury against the founder of Christian Science came to a sudden and almost dramatic conclusion, when the jury, without leaving their seats,

returned a verdict for the defendant. From the very first it seemed apparent that it was a hopeless task to prove that some particular person was intended to be stigmatized by a quotation of one of the highly figurative passages of Revelation, and after vainly trying to extract something that would help their cause from unwilling witnesses, the prosecution threw up its hands, so to speak, and the judge called time, declaring that no case had been made out against Mrs. Eddy. Therefore this litigation has served only to give employment to some distinguished lawyers who have charged well

for their services, and to make many peoplee who have not been in the habit of reading their Bibles carefully study closely the Book of Revelation. When they were told that it was alleged that Mrs. Eddy had accused Ytrs. Woodbury of being the woman St. John saw sitting up-

MRS. EDDY.

on a scarlet-colored beast with seven heads and ten horns, they took down their Bibles and read all about that woman. When the statement was made by Mrs. Woodbury’s friends .that Christian Scientists saw in Mrs. Eddy the woman spoken of by St. John, who was clothed with the gun, had the moon under her feet, and upon her head a crown of twelve stars, Revelatioif was searched to discover all it had to say about the woman thus strangely appareled. This libel suit has resulted in a great deal being said about these two singular women whom John saw in a vision, but it has thrown no light on their personality.

WAR TAX CHANGES.

Modification of the Revenue Law Be* cornea Effective July 1. On July 1 the changes in the war revenue tax become effective. By having the facts in mind and making advance provisions for the changes, it is possible for business men to effect considerable saving. The following classes of papers and documents which now require stamp* will not carry them after July 1; Bank checks and drafts. Bills of lading for export. Certificates or deposit. Certificates not otherwise specified. Sight drafts. Express receipts. Money orders. Mortgages or conveyances In trust. Power of attorney to vote. Power of attorney to self. Promissory uotes. Protests. Telegraph messages. Warehouse receipts. There Is no change in the law as affecting the following classes of taxes: Foreign bills of exchange 2 cents for each SIOO. Bonds of Indemnity, 50 cents. Conveyances exempt below $3,000; abov* $2,000. 25 cent* for each SSOO. Bankers’ capital and surplus SSO for $25,000* and $2 for each additional SI,OOO. Bonds, debenture, certificates of Indebtedness, etc., 5 cents for each SIOO. Brokers’ contracts, 10 cents. Certificates of stock, original Issue, 6 cent! for each SIOO. Certificates of stock transfers, 2 cents for each SIOO. (Amended to Include bucket shops.) Time drafts, or bills of exchange. Inland, 2 cents for each SIOO. Freight receipts or domestic bills of lading, 1 cent.

News of Minor Note.

Oil found at Sulphur, La. Six thousand striking cigarmakers in Tampa, Fla., resumed work, gaining their point. Cumberland, Md„ “turned down” Carnegie's fi25,000 offer for a library. Didn’t want to increase taxation. A paper in the backwoods of Georgia reports au accident thus: ‘‘A negro yesterday was struck by the limited express, landed on a pig-iron pile fifty feet away, end fell into the river, where he was drowned.”

MRS. WOODBURY.

FOR SYSTEMIC CATARRH ' Peculiar to Summer Pe-ru-na Gives Prompt and Permanent Relief. Clem G. Moore, Editor of the Advocate-Democrat of Crawfordsville, Ind., write* the Peruna Medicine Company as follows: i Gentlemen—" After four years of Intense suffering, caused by systemic catarrh, which 1 contracted while editing, and traveling for my paper, I have been greatly relieved by the use of Peruna. I gave up work during these years of torture, tried various remedies and many doctors, but all the permanent 'relief came from the use of Peruna. My trouble was called Indigestion, but It was catarrh all through the system, and a few bottles of Peruna made me feel like a new person, noting the Improvement after I bad used the first bottle. Peruna Is undoubtedly the best catarrh remedy ever compounded. —Clem G. Moore.

Captain Percy W. Moss, Faragould, Ark., says: “I think Peruna is undoubtedly the finest and surest catarrh cure ever prepared, and it has taken but two bottles to convince me of this fact.” Judge Wm. T. Zenor-of Washington. D. C., writes from 213 N. Capital street, Washington, D. C.: “I take pleasure in saying that I can cheerfully recommend the use of Peruna as a remedy for catarrhal trouble

The Retort Courteous.

“No, I have nothing for you,” said the housekeeper sternly. “And don’t you come here after dinner again.” “Beg pardon, lady,” replied Hungry Hawkes, “but I didn’t suppose you’d have dinner over dis early in de day. You ain’t very stylish, are yer?”—Philadelphia Press.

What Do the Children Drink?

Don’t give them tea or coffee. Have you tried the new food drink called GRAIN-O? It is delicious and nourishing and takes the place of coffee. The more Grain-0 you give the children the more health you distribute through their systems. Grain-O is made of pure grains, and when properly prepared tastes like the choice grades of coffee, but costs about % as much. All grocers sell it. 15c and 25c.

Well Described.

Mrs. Pierrepont (ecstatically)—lsn’t it just a poem of a spring bonnet! Pierrepont (dubiously)—Yes, a magazine spring poem. I can’t make head or tail of it, or tell which is the front or back. —Brooklyn Eagle.

Hall’s Catarrh Cure.

Is a constitutional cure. Price 75 cents.

In the herbiverous animals the incisors, or cutting teeth and molars are best developed. Mrs. Winslow's Soothixo Bratrr for Children teething; sottene the gums, reduces inflammation, allays pain, cures wind colic. 25 cents a bottle.

1 ( Fight on for wealth, old "Money Bags." your liver is drying up and bowels ■#car ing out, some day you will cry aloud for health, offering all your wealth, but you will not get it because you neglected Nature in your mad rush to get gold. No matter wnat you do, or what ails you, to-day is the day—every day is the day—to keep watch of Nature’s wants —and help your bowels act regularly —CASCAREiS will help Nature help you. Neglect means bile in the blood, foul breath, and awful pains in the back erf the head with a loathing and bad feeling for all that is good in life. Don’t care how rich or poor you are, you can’t be well if you have bowel trouble, you will be regular if you take CASCARETS —get them t<>day— CASCARETS — in metal box; small box 10c, whole month’s treatment 50c; take one, eat it like candy and it will work gently while you sleep. It cures; that means it strengthens the muscular walls of the bowels and gives them new life; then they act regularly and naturally; that is what you want —it is guaranteed to be found in LIVER TONIC 25c! NEVER ait. SOLD IN BULK.

JHIHW all bowel trouble*, appendicitis, bllIL loutnru, bad breath, bad blood, wind | a imr on tbe stomach, bloated bowels, foal U Ull la month, headache. Indigestion, pimples, pains after eating, liver tronble, sallow complexion and dlaziness. When yoar bowels don’t move regularly yon are getting sick. Constipation kills mors people than all other diseases together. It Is a starter for the chronic aliments and long years of so fife ring that corns afterwards; No matter what alls yon, start taklag CASCARKT* to-day, for yon will never get well and be well all the Mate antll yon pnt yoar bowels right. Take onr advice; start with CAbCARKTS to-day, aader an a bool ate guarantee to ears or money refunded. m

and a most excellent tonic for general conditions.”—Wm. T. Zenor. If you do not derive prompt and satisfactory results from the use of Peruna, write at once to Dr. Hartman, giving g full statement of your case, and he will he pleased to give you his valuable advice gratis. ■ 'P Address Dr. Hartman, President of The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus.Ohio.

Seeking His Fortune.

“Young man, why do you stand on the bridge every day with that life-preserv-er?” “S-s-sh, don’t give me away. One of these heiresses may fall overboard.” — Meggendorfer Blaetter.

CITO Permanently Cw»L UoOw ornervouaneeaartw N I » Bret day’, use of Dr. Kline’s Great Nerve Restorer. Send for F KEK SB.OO trial bottle and treatise. DR. R. B. KLINE. Ltd.. *3l arch St.. Philadelphia, Pa. You can’t get up in the world on a bed of down.

Sozodont A Perfect Liquid Dentifrice for the Teeth and Breafh 25* Sozodont Tooth Powder Both forms of Sozodont at the Stores or by Mail; price, 35c. each; LargeSizea, together, *So MALL A RUCKEL, New York

3 Best Cough Syrup. Tastes Good. Use H In time. Sold hr druggists.

GUARANTEED (MR great merit, aad ear best testlmoslul. w* boss faith aad will sell CASCAJMTB absolutely s»oraato#d to OSes or mosey rsfbadsd. Os bar today, two Ms boao*. yj;« fltlr, honest trial, os per Simula dlrsstlsn*. aad If yes or*

SPORT IN WESTERN CANADA.

While the Farmer*' Grain la Ripening and Hi* Stock Orowing Fat. He May Have Plenty of Sbootiag.

There is probably no country on tb# American continent-where the life of the farmer carries with it that assurance of comfort and success as doeF Western Canada. Nor is there to bn found anywhere else such a pleasant combination. Game abounds everywhere, and nowhere does it afford such perfect amusement. A noted sportsmais writing of the favorite pastime a&fht “There Is one particular spot where saw a man drop seventy mallards onemorning, and bring them all to bug. too, for they dropped in open water or on flat prairie. At the right season of the year you can see black lines and triangles cut sharply ont against th# sky all round you, moving very swiftly, and you begin to wonder whether yoo have enough cartridges to' hold out. You can hear the prairie chicken crowing like barn-door „fowls; and a Kttff td the northeast is a bit of marshy ground, cattle-poached, and dappled with gleaming pools, where the snip#are nearly as thick as mosquitoes. A thin column of blue smoke curling up in the distance shows you where a few wandering Indians have pitched their camp, but there Is no other indication of civilization in sight. Still, the neighborhood Is well settled, and a short drive will bring you to a farmhons# where you can buy the finest butter and the freshest eggs for uncivilized prices. “A very short railway journey witt bring you to a country full of deer-and the lordly wapiti, the king of the deer tribe the world over; and down on thF flat, boggy land by the lake shores thn moose will stand knee-deep in water on the summer evenings, ready to H# down when the files get bothering. All day you breathe the wild free air of the prairie, and at night you are lulled to sleep by the surge and ripple and splash of the waves on the beach, broken now and then by the weird banslieecry of strange water fowl.” Particulars regarding settlement of the lands of Western Canada can behad from any agent of the Canadian. Government, whose advertisement appears elsewhere in your columns.

M EXCURSION RATES to Western Canada and pargrowing land on the Conti* saas'smLsr ten dent of Immigration, Ottntra, Canada, or the undersigned. Specially conducted excursions will leave 8L Paul, Minn., on the Ist and 3d Tuesday in each month, and specially low rate* on all line* of railway are being quoted for excurritnw leaving St. Paul on March 26th and April 4th, for Manitoba, Aseinlbola, Saskatchewan and Alberta. Write to F. Pedley, Supt. Immigration, Ottawa, Canada, or the undersigned, who will mail jam. atlases, pamphlets, etc., free of cost: C. J. Broughton, 1223 Monadnock Bldg., Chicago; N. Bartholomew, 300 sth St., Des Moines, Iowa; M. V. MoInnes, No. 2 Merrill Block, Detroit, Mich.; J. Grieve, Saginaw, Mich.; T. O. Currie, 1 New Insurance Building, Milwaukee, Wls.; E. t Holmes, Indianapolis, Ind., Agents for the Gower n men t of Canada. A Skin of Beauty la a Joy Foroveri nil. T. FELIX SOTRAtM ORIENTAL U CREAM, OM MAGICAL BEAUTIFIES. 80- , iTTIS Removes Tan. Pimples, Free Slaw -« 3 JMNjS Moth Patches, Rash, and Skin. ,»S CU-T? diseases, and every blemish on <«ad Jlr Igs. beanty, and defles r~£go J3»detecflin. It has Jk #rtr| stood the tsst of M gsiil x Jr IwusbZz&mt 9/ to bo sure It Is prop. i* if “ rs Vt til similar name. Dr. L S - PI A. Sayre said to a fSt Sn o/dW \ lady of the haupcoat /w \ (a patient); “As yon rWAftr- <Y I \ lames will use them. y- K ) 1 \ I recommend ‘Gour- / 1 aud’a Cream’ as th* / ' /X'.\AA f yL-I least harmful of all IV ail DrunMs an* Fancy-Goods Dealers in the U. 8., Canadas and Buropa. _ FERD. T. ROPKINg. PropT, ts Great Jones it., N. Y, C. N. P. No, 24-1901 VI/HEN WRITING TO ADVERTISERS PLEASE SAT ’' yon saw the advertisement la this paper.

OLD READER