Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 22, Number 77, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 June 1901 — Page 3

SHORT STORY. Tna 1 s™**— x fMM’s S//OE ™ WOASEW Came AND Conquered. To-Day Are FASHION’S FAVORITE. Worn by all the Best Dressed Ladies in Town. All Styles Queen Quality= $3.00 Oxfords $2.50 Sold Only By Fendig’s Fair.

Bargain Counter. Sailors 20c to soc. Crimmed Rats 50c to $1.50. For one week only, beginning Saturday, June Bth, and ending Saturday, June 15th. At dwlw Mrs. Purcupile’s. Money On Farms. At 5 Per Cent. A special fund to loan on Farms for Five Years at 5 per cent, interest, with privilege to make partial payments any interest paying time. Also loans on city property at low rates. Call or write Commercial State Bank, Rensselaej, Ind. No. Side Pub. Square. For Sale or Rent. An extra good 8 room house, with barn, on Franklin St Apply to D. M. Worland. REMEMBER THIS DESIGN. On th* Pacfcag* Shaded Part* Ar* R*d. DOMESTIC REMEDY SERIES Clean, Pure, Safe, Efficient ENTERICURE: A Tonic, Vegetable Preparation of Alteratives, Astringents, Intestinal Antiseptics, and Neutralizers, for use in DIARRHOEA, Children’s Gastric and Intestinal Disorders, Summer Complaint, Sour Stomach, Dysentery, Cholera, Colicky Paias, etc. HEPATICURE: A Tonic, Vegetable LAXATIVE that restore* Natural Action to the Stomach, Bowels, Liver and Kidneys; Safe, Sure, and Gentle. Especially valuable for children and aged persons. BRONCURE: Unexcelled for Coughs, Colds, Congestions, Grippe, Bronchitis and incipient Pneumonia. Leaves no bad effects. ATONICURE: For Impure Blood, Pimples, Sores, Styes, Eczema, Scrofula, Sallow Skin and other skin and blood diseases. A Splendid Spring Medicine. All of the above ar* endorsed by Druggists , and the Medical Profession. OUT THEM. TRY THEM. THEY AOT. THEY DO HOT INJURE. lor sale at rOUP DRUGGISTS.

Obeying Orders.

General Harney was an officer of the old school, a strict disciplinarian who took no excuses for hesitation in obeying orders. When he was on his way to Mexico, when the United States was at war with that country, he engaged teams to transport the baggage and placed in charge of them a Texan named Carter. The streams were all up, and Carter had much trouble, but whenever he tried to modify the general’s requirements he was cut short with the admonition, “All you’ve got to do is to obey orders.” Says Noah Smithwick in his recollections called “The Evolution of a State:” They camped one night near the Nueces river, which Carter found to be impassable. He said nothing about it to the general, and the next morning the order was given to move on. Carter started with the wagon train and halted at the river, which was absolutely Impassable. Harney came blustering up. “Didn’t you know that river was up?” he demanded. “Yes, sir,” meekly replied the wagon master. “Why didn’t you tell me?” “You didn’t ask me, sir. You said my business was to obey orders. You ordered me to hitch, up and move on, and I did it.” “You did quite right, sir. Turn round and drive back to camp.” If the general had been “done,” he was not going to show it.

Mr. Hare’s Fountain of Youth.

Mr. John Hare, the eminent English actor-manager, said that the most delightful compliment he ever received was from Mr. Gladstone. It was a double ended compliment. Whichever way you took It It was satisfactory. Mr. Hare earned fame playing old men’s parts, his character as Mr. Goldby in “A Pair of Spectacles” being a good example. Added to this was a horror of having his picture taken. Mr. Gladstone had never seen a picture of the actor, but he knew him welU behind the scenes as well as before the footlights. The premier’s favorite play was “A Pair of Spectacles,” and he always went behind the scenes to chat awhile with the actor. The really old man and the made up old man would sit there and talk in the most delightful way for an hour after the show. One day the Earl of Rosebery had Mr. Gladstone to dinner, and he also invited his friend, John Hare. The actor came in smooth shaved, looking about 35. He was presented to Mr. Gladstone, and the prime minister shook his hand most cordially and said: “My dear sir, I am very, very glad to meet you. I know your father very,, very well. Splendid actor! Fine old man!” It took the whole evening for the earl and Mr. Hare to convince him that this son was really the father.—Saturday Evening Post.

An Educational Mistake.

Whether or not a college education is advantageous depends entirely upon the ability of the recipient to absorb and utilize such an education. Unfortunately such a view of the case is seldom considered by parents and guardians who are inclined to send their children to college simply because it is considered the proper thing to do. Consequently we find throughout the country thousands of young men who have passed through college acting as cheap clerks, bookkeepers or even as car conductors and restaurant waiters. Having learned no mechanical trade for which they may be adapted and being unfitted by nature for a profession, they go through life discontented with their lot and vaguely believing that the world owes them better treatment because they have gone through college.—Los Angeles Times.

The Appeal to the Record.

Little Tommy returned sore and trembling from the torture room. “Doesn’t your papa ever thrash you?” he asked his chum, who Is the son of a cabinet minister. “I should say not!” replied the other loftily. “Every time he threatens to cane me I read him an extract from his great peace at any price speech In which he said: ‘These barbarians are like wayward children, but have we on that account the right to take away their heaven sent privilege to do as they please? Let us treat them as we would our own wayward children—plead with them, beseech them, but never coerce them with either gun or rod.’ ” “That’s a good deal to remember,” remarked Tommy. “Yes, but now he’s got so used to it that he drops the cane as soon as I start.”—London Answers.

An Ounce of Prevention.

“A* you went out," whispered the observing boarder. “I saw you pick up something from the floor, tear it in a dozen pieces and throw it in the range. Was it a love letter?” “No,” responded the practical boarder, “it was a little booklet telling how to prepare prunes in 99 different ways. I was afraid it might fall into the hands of the landlady.”—Philadelphia Record.

Suited to a Tee.

Fox (to bear)—Come over tomorrow, and we’ll play a game of golf on the links. Bear—All right. I don’t know what the game is, but if there’s any job you can put up on the lynx I’m in with you.—Boston Herald. The orange came to Europe from Africa In the eleventh century. Sir Walter Raleigh brought it to England in the sixteenth century. It was first planted in Australia In 1788. Daisy was originally the eye of day, or day’s eye. .

Queer Indian Beliefs.

There is an odd feature in the theology of the small Indian tribe of the Bella Coola, which inhabit British Columbia in about latitude 52. They believe that there are five worlds, one above the other, and the middle one is our own world, the earth. Above it are two.heavens, and under it are two underworlds. In the upper heaven is the supreme deity, who is a woman, and she doesn’t meddle much with the affairs in the second world below her. The zenith is the center of the lower heaven, and here is the house of the gods, in w’hich live the sun and the rest of the deities. Our own earth Is believed to be an island swimming in the ocean. The first underworld from the earth is Inhabited by ghosts who can return when they ■wish to heaven, from which place they may be sent down to our earth. If then they misbehave again, they are cast into the lower of the underworlds, and from this bourne no ghostly traveler returns. The Bella Coola are sun worshipers, for Senex, the sun, the master of the house of gods, who also Is called “the father” and “the sacred one,” is the only deity to whom the tribe pray. Each family of the Bella Coola has its own traditions and its own form of the current traditions, so that in the mythology of the tribe there are countless contradictions. When any one not a member of a clan tries to tell a tradition which does not'belong to his clan, It is like a white man trying to tell another’s joke —he is considered as appropriating the property right which does not belong to him.

Hard Ducks to Kill.

The screaming Walloon is a hard duck to kill. Its hide is very tough and is thickly covered with feathers and down. Besides the bird is a great diver, one of the kind that used to “dive at the flash” when hunted with the old arm that flashed when fired. It is of very little value for table use, being so tough. The only way to manage it at all is to skin it and parboil it in a big pot with plenty of water. The negroes make caps of Walloon skins. “They are great ducks for diving,” says a well known Tred Avon river progger. “They can dive quicker, go down deeper, remain under water longer and come up farther away than any other duck that frequehts our waters. I remember once I succeeded in killing a Walloon, and, being short of game for the table, I determined to cook my bird. I got a negro to skin it, giving him the hide for his trouble. After being cleaned we put it in a great pot full of water and under it kindled a hot fire. After awhile I wanted to see how the cooking of my duck progressed and lifted the top off the boiling pot, but there was so much steam escaping I could not see into the pot and struck a match over it. The blamed Walloon, sir, dived at the flash of the match. It disappeared and has never been seen since.”—Baltimore Sun.

A Lesson to Humorists.

One cannot safely assume in these days that there is any region in which such and such a journal is not read. Recently a certain humorist needed a rest and went and stopped in a cottage in a remote village by the sea. His sitting room opened on the kitchen, where his landlady, a woman widely esteemed as a person of great acumen and a maker of phrases, was wont to receive the neighbors. He listened and put both landlady and neighbors into some amusing sketches which were promptly published in a London magazine. A month or two went by. Then one afternoon he came back to the cottage to meet and cower before an indignant matron, who told him, among other things, that he had one hour in which to pack bls traps and quit the village. She was not going to have an eavesdropper in her house, and she added a significant hint to the effect that the people of the village were of the same opinion and might be betrayed into an attempt to give a forcible demonstration of their views.—London Post

Now They Are Married.

A bashful young man went three times to ask a beautiful young lady if he might be the partner of her joys and sorrows and other household furniture, but each time his heart failed him, and he took the question away unpopped. She saw the anguish of his soul and had compassion on him. So the next time he came she asked him If he had thought to bring a screwdriver with him. He blushed and wanted to know what for. And she, in the fullness of her heart, said she did not know but that be would want to screw up his courage before he left He took the hint and the glrL—Pearson’s Weekly.

The Jaw of an Otter.

You can find an example of nature’s adaptation of the Jaw to use in the case of certain carnivora, like the otter—a big weasel that has acquired aquatic habits. The jaws of such beasts are so fixed In the sockets that dislocation Is impossible. In some Instances you cannot, even after the animal is dead, separate the jaw from the head. This arrangement Is evidently designed to enable the beast to bite to the greatest advantage without danger that the chewing apparatus will come loose.

Cause of Thought.

• “You look thoughtful tonight. Smith,” remarked Brown as be stretched himself on two chairs. “Yes,” said Smith. “I have just got a note from the landlady.” “What does she say?” “She says that I must pay my board at once, or her daughter will sue me for breach of promise. I’m thinking what Fd better do .’’-Tit-Bits. ,

Four Bears at a Shot.

A number of years ago Mr. Withee was presented with two fine hounds, and, wishing to try their training and their grit, he took them out to do a little bear hunting. The first morning Withee let the dogs out fqr a run while he was getting the breakfast, expecting them to be back In a short time. When breakfast was over, the dogs had not returned, so, taking his gun, Mr. Withee started out in the direction they had taken. After traveling about a mile the faint barking of dogs could be heard, and it was then plain why the dogs had not returned. They had scented game and were in pursuit. The sound of the barking led him far up the side of a mountain, and soon he came in sight of the dogsatahding around the upturned roots of a tree. Mr. Withee crept up cautiously until within about 15 feet of a cave that was hear by, and then a black, shaggy head could be seen just above the roots. Taking good aim, he fired his .44 caliber and awaited results. After several minutes he went up to the cave, and what he saw there gave him a shock from which he has never recovered. Two bears lay dead, and two more were so stunned that a few quick passes with a knife settled them. For the four bears Mr, Withee received S2O bounty, $27.50 for their hides and $42 for the bear oil, making $89.50 for one day’s hunt.—Maine Woods.

All For Love.

It was a runaway match. The young couple had nothing to live on but love, and they grew thin on it, for the butcher, baker, etc., heartlessly refused to barter any of the necessaries of life for a bit of love, and the landlady wouldn’t accept even a large slice of it for rent. At last they were reduced to such extremities that starvation stared them in the face. When starvation does this, It, so to say, “puts you out of countenance.” “Oh, George,” wailed the young wife, “what shall we do? I am so hungry!”i “Alas, I know not, darling!” he Sighed fondly but sadly, toying with her luxuriant tresses. “But I know, George!" she suddenly, exclaimed after a pause. “Sell my, hair!” “What!” he almost shouted, with a horror stricken face. “Sacrifice your lovely golden locks! Ruthlessly cut off the greatest ornament a woman can possess? Never! Never! I will starve first!” “But, George,” she assured him, “it does not require cutting off. See!” And she detached the glistening 3 guinea switch from her head and laid it in his hand. That night the young couple supped luxuriously, but still he was not happy. —Pearson’s Weekly.

Lighting Up the Coliseum.

The Romans have the hideous habit of periodically lighting the Coliseum during the tourist season with Bengal lights and, what Is more amazing still, usually succeed in making a financial success of it, although no one was ever known to go twice. There is the additional abomination In. these days of a big brass band and a chorus of 100 voices in an invocation to the Flavian amphitheater. The effect is tremendous, but somewhat stunning to those who are accustomed to their Coliseum empty and flooded with peaceful moonlight, where pictures from the past rise with the clearness of second sight, and no sound is heard but one’s own breathing or the song of the nightingale. Contrast with such a scene the red, blue and yellow Bengal lights, the smoke, the confusion, the hundred shrieking throats and the clang of the brazen instruments! Imagination shrinks and curses the Roman of today with whom such a thing is possible. But is it his fault? As I said before, it is a great financial success, and the Italians certainly do not patronize it. Query, Who does?— Rome Letter in Pall Mall Gazette.

How They Broke Up.

An amusing story is related In “Canadian Savage Folk” of the manner In which an adjournment was taken by a mass meeting. A missionary who bad started a school among the Indians met with opposition, and the meeting had been called In support of the rival scheme. There were several speakers who denounced the school in existence. We replied vigorously, showing the efficiency of the school and denouncing in turn the methods adopted by the opposition. An Indian chief produced some specimens of work done at the school, and several speakers supported the work as it was being done. The climax was reached when a gentleman rose and said: “I move the whole thing bust!” The chairman put the motion. “It Is moved and seconded that the whole thing bust!” The audience sprang to their feet and, waving hats, yelled “Busted!” and made for the door. Thus ended the first and last opposition in that matter.

Pride of the Riding Academy.

Rowell—There goes Withers on horseback. He is a living illustration of the saying, “A merciful man is merciful to his beast” Snaffle—ln what way? Rowell—Don't you see? He lets his weight rest on the horse only once in a while. The most of the time he Is in the air, going up or coming down.— Boston Transcript Some men never amount to much because they get Into the habit of frequently beginning life anew.—Chicago News. The world owes every man a living, but doesn’t furnish a collector.—Deniver Times.

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TEACHING A YOUNG LARK.

How It* Mother Coaches It to Hop About and Fly. J. M. Barrie, the noted Scottish story writer, in Scribner’s Magazine told how a young lark got its first lesson. A baby lark had got out of Its nest sideways, a fall of a foot only, but a dreadful drop for a baby. “You can get back this way,” its mother said, and showed it the way. But when the baby tried to leap it fell on its back. Then the mother marked out lines on the ground on which it was to practice hopping, and it got along beautifully so long as the mother was there every moment to say, “How wonderfully you hop!” “Now teach me to hop up,” said the little lark, meaning that it wanted to fly, and the mother tried to do It in vain. She could soar up, up, very bravely, but she could not explain how she did it. “Wait till the sun comes out after the rain,” she said, half remembering. “What is sun? What Is rain?” the little bird asked. “If you cannot teach me to fly, teach me to sing.” . “When the sun comes out after rain,” the mother replied, “then you will know how to sing.” The rain came and glued the little bird’s wings together. “I shall never be able to fly or sing,” it wailed. Then of a sudden It began to blink its eyes, for a glorious light had spread over the world, catching every, leaf and twig and blade of grass in tears and putting a smile In every tear. The baby bird’s breast swelled, It did not know why; it fluttered from the ground, it did not know why. “The sun has come out after the rain!” it trilled. “Thank you, sun! Thank you! Thank you! Oh, mother, did you hear me? I can sing.” Then it floated up, up, calling, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” to the sun. “Oh, mother, do you see me? I am flying!”

A Good Memory.

A bad memory in most cases might be more properly described as one rusting from sheer want of use. The fact is our brain’cells are always “ready to oblige,” but we do not give them sufficient encouragement in their well meant efforts. Naturally the Individual may cultivate a memory for certain details more readily than for others, but the general basis of all recollectlve acts is the same, and there is no department of human mental activity In which the motto that “practice makes perfect” bolds more truly than in the science of mnemonics. The view may be expressed, indeed, that we never forget anything presented to our brain cells. When we say we have forgotten, we really mean that we cannot find the mental photographic negative whence we can print off a positive reproduction.—London Chronicle.

From in Author’s Notebook.

The following is an extract from the diary of an impecunious author: “Rose at 5 and had a sonnet and a glass of cold water for breakfast I retired early In the evening without supper, as I feared the neighbors would be annoyed by the rattling of the knives and forks.”—Atlanta Constitution.

Trimming Her Balls a Bit.

Nannie—Oh, dear; my face is so freckled! It’s just-awful! Aunt Hannah—l wouldn’t fret Nannie. Of course the freckles are not very becoming, but then, you know, they serve to cover up your features.— Boston Transcript 4 u- 4 . ....mW—»'

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