Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 21, Number 28, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 December 1899 — It Was the Clock. [ARTICLE]

It Was the Clock.

John Muldoon, an Irishman, had been hired as general stand-about and valet to a certain Irascible old gentleman. Three days after his debut at the gentleman’s house, a friend met him on the street and asked him how he liked his new job. “ ’Twas bad,” said John; “that bad I c’u’dn’t tell ye. Oi’m bounced, an’ all fer doin’ me duty.” In response to a request for particulars, John told the following story of his unjust discharge: “Sure,” said he, “ ’twas this-a-way. Wid all me other num’rous juries, oi hed to clane up and doost the master’s libr’y, wid all the books and statooary and what not. Now the master had an auld thing av a clock a-hangin’ on the wall, and he seys, seys he, ‘John, be careful wid th’ clock,’ an’ oi med up me moind that no’ut sh’uld harrum the clock, ‘fer,’ seys oi, ‘me place depinds on th’ clock.’ An’ th’ next moriiin’, when oi was a-doostin’ th’ clock—takin’ ay proper care—what sh’uld happen but a measly little burd comes and hops, on th’ top av th’ clock, as impident as you plaze. “ ‘Ho, ho!’ seys oi, it’s not there ye'll shtay fer long, ye meddlin’ chippee!’ “But he niver shtirred at all, at all, fer all me talk. “ ‘Get off!’ seys oi. “‘Cuck-oo!’ seys he, as quick and sassy as you plaze. “ ‘Bur-r-r-r-r-r-roo!’ seys oi (not loikln’ to be outdone in blackguardin’), and thin oi basted him wid the doost rag. “The next dey I was tould me ‘sarvices was no longer required.’ “An’ that’s how the rich treats the poor man fer doin’ his juty by them fair and square.”—Round Table.