Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 20, Number 85, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 June 1899 — WHY WE CELEBRATE. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

WHY WE CELEBRATE.

July Fourth Commemorates Washington's Victory Over Old George 111.

American people have been celebrating fl fourth of July, I drinking red lemonade k and firing red crackers ever since that jRSjXISvv time b * n 1776 when grandpa crawled up in that ivy-man-tied tower at Philadelphi a and rang the big cracked bell. You see, it was this L / way: An old rooster fc* - * over in England named George Threetimes

thought be owned us. He had a dead tinch on his own country and he imagined lie had the same on this one. He taxed

our tea, he did, and used the money to sport around with the boys. When we began to cave around about it he sent a job-lot of his soldiers over here to hold ns down. This caused more indignation and one day the matter was brought to a focus when a lot of our boys got together and held a square men’s meeting. Among those present were Patrick Henry and George Washington. Pat made a ringing speech and told them that the people ought to rise up out of their lethargy and make this a free country. A declaration of independence was written out and signed and the bell was rung, as we have said. When old George Threetimes heard of this he sent over more soldiers and tried to wipe out the little band parading under George Washington. But Mr. Threetimes’ gingerbread soldiers couldn’t fool our George—nit! Our George let them chase him around New Jersey and Pennsylvania and when they finally did catch him they at once tried to let him go. But George didn’t go—not much! That night our George crossed the Delaware river and made old George Threetimes’ army look like boiled lobsters. Our George found the most of them at a 50-cent dance, but he sailed right in, nevertheless, and history tells us that he broke up the ball. Because he won the war we made our George President ’and we have been having Presidents and Fourth of Julys ever since.—Exchange.