Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 20, Number 38, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 January 1899 — From The Ends of the Earth, And Then Some. [ARTICLE]

From The Ends o f the Earth, And Then Some.

The Republican Das just come into possession of quite a collection of newspapers which we esteem as great curiosities. They were furnished us through the courtesy of the Chamberlain Medicine Company, of Des Moines, lowa. This firm whose advertisements have long been familiar to readers of this paper, are no doubt the most enterprising advertisers in America. They are spreading and expanding their field of advertising until soon they, like Alexander, will have conquered the whole world. Unlike Alexander, however, they will not go howling around because there are no more worlds to conquer. No indeed! They will invest in one of Nikola Tesla’s latest aerial inter-stella-wireless telegraphs, and open negotiations for “top-of-column next to poor read matter” space in the columns of the “Hourly Hot-Number” and the “Half-Hourly Blistetscorch” and other leading and most conservative newspapers, respectively, of our small but lively planetary neighbors, Mars and Mercury. They are not likely to work the Venus field any, however because the children of that amorous goddess are quite too French y for a firm of Chamberlain & Co’s respectability to deal with. If this firm is already in the regular receipt of papers from the planets with their ads correctly inserted, they did not favor us with copies; but the samples they did send are well representative of the remotest parts of this earth, at least. For instance there is the Jamaica Post, from Kingston, Jamaica; the Advocate of India, from Bombay; the Klerksdorp Mining Record, from Klerksdorp, South African Republic; the China Mail, from Hongkong, China; the Siam Free Press, of Bangkok, Siam; The Mount Ida Chronicle, from Naseby, Otago District, New Zealand; The Northern Luminary, from Kawakawa, Bay of Islands, New Zealand; The Straits Times, from Singapore, at the southern end of the Malay peninsula; the Fiji Times, from Suva, Fiji Islands; the Sasilekha, “a bi-weekly Telegu Newspaper” from Madras, India; the Jam-E-Jamshed, from Bombay, India, and the Burma Herald, from Rangoon, Burma. Nearly all of these papers are published in colonies or dependences of Great Britain and the few that are not are from regions where British influence is predominant. All but four are wholly in the English language, and one of these four is partly in English, and partly in Siamese. The other three are in Telegu or Hindoo languages. In several particulars there is a family resemblance in all these papers. For oue thing in every last one of them the entire first page is given up to advertising. And Great Scott, what looking ads! From the styles of type used and in the manner of setting up, the ads in all these papers it is evident that in the whole British colonial Empire, outside of Canada, there is not a merchant who knows how to write a good ad, nor a newspaper which can set one up in good shape, and we doubt if there is one of the latter which possesses a really handsome font of display type. Another family feature of all these papers is that they all carry ads of whiskey and more whiskey, generally of some vintage of the old Scotch brand, and in the most prominent places in the papers. Evidently, the bold Briton takes his thirst with him, wherever be goes, and don’t care who knows it. Still another feature common to all is the almost total absence of everything like local news; the devotion of much attention to racing and other sport-

ing matters is the only exception to this rule. All of them are very high in price, and scarcely any of them, even from the largest cities begin to give as much news and readable miscellaneous matter as any ordinary county paper in the United States. All are serious and respectable and not given, evidently to quarreling with their neighbors, nor to abuse of officials for political purposes, which are good features. The wit and humor which are such a common and popular feature of our American papers, are wholly wanting in all these foreign ones, They are solemn as owls, one and all. 1 In later issues we will notice some of these far-off papers more in detail.