Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 19, Number 93, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 July 1898 — THEORY THAT FAILED. [ARTICLE]

THEORY THAT FAILED.

Taking Time by the Forelock Was the Cause of All Her Troubles. “Never talk to me again about ‘taking time by the forelock,’ or any of that nonsense again,” ejaculated the girl who is always in a hurry to a friend who holds serenity to be the most valuable of virtues. “If ever again I try to get anywhere before too late, I hope I’ll have just such another time as I did today.’ Tell you about it, indeed! Why else do you suppose I would have come to see you? If I hadn’t followed your advice I shouldn’t have had such an awful time. “To begin with, I obeyed your suggestion, and got up at five o’clock. Talk of early rising adding to one’s chances of success; it made me so sleepy that 1 was positively cross by breakfast time, and as for studying, all I could do was to wonder when in the world that tardy meal would be ready, and whether there’d be enough of it when it did come. And I’ve had a headache all day from eating too much. "Then I hurried down town, no—l didn’t hurry, I dawdled, as you said, but 1 got there long before anyone else, just the same. Waited around in idleness for an hour or two, missed all the good bargains, because I hadn’t stopped to read the morning papers, and never saw a single person I wanted to. I suppose they weren’t up. When I got home I found that by starting away so early I’d managed to miss the man I most wanted to see—Archie, you know, and I just know he'd come to ask me to go to the theater—and he’d spent half the morning across the street with that horrid Maria Jones. I wentearly totheclub and missed Henry Fellows, who called to drive me there, went home to dinner promptly, and was just early enough to have to help get it ready, since our rook had gone to bed with a headache, and burned my face until it was a sight. "Then I thought I might as well follow the rest of your directions, and go to Led early, and I did —just early enough to have my hair all damp and stringy —I was going to curl it with kids, you know—when callers came. I had to send word down that I'd got a horrible cold, of course, and now I discover that they wanted me to go camping with them. And I missed it all because I tried to do things in good time. Good time, indeed; bad time 1 call it. And if ever you mention such a thing ns taking time by the forelock to me again, I’ll never speak to you as long ns we both live."—Chicago Times-Herald.