Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 19, Number 40, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 January 1898 — Synopsis Farmers’ Institute. [ARTICLE]

Synopsis Farmers’ Institute.

A Humorous Synopsis Prepared During 1 The Session by John E. Alter. Convened, commenced, began, started and opened yesterday morning at 8:75 A. M. in the forenoon, by singing a crowning coronation, a benediction, and another song of America. The programme was carried out to a letter; some subjects were good, and some were better. There was just an even hundred present in the forenoon, and in the afternoon we had a crowd; all the standing room was at a premium. The galleries were packed to overflowing, and many corns were trampled under foot. A very high value was placed upon institute work by Professor Lane. He is a Hoosier, and proud of it, because more people read in Indiana than in Massachusetts. He says the boys and girls of today, will be the men and women of tomorrow. Now they don’t grow quite so fast in Jasper County as he says they do in Putnam County; in fact, I know some boys and girls in this County who will not, at the present rate, grow to be good men and women in a hundred years. He advised us to sow good seed and keep our feet out of the law; stuff the furrows with the old straw stacks, and don’t bear too hard on the cultivator handles in dry weather. The next thing we knew Honan was building castles in the air. That is, he sang the words while his wife played the air. Then came the dry subject of drought, by Professor Husselman. But he don’t care for rain; he raised 350 bushels of potatoes to the acre "When it was so drjj they wouldn’t sprout. He says,io make dry weather damp, ploXv under -plenty of humorous clover and green rye I believe he told one mistake when he said he could draiu the Gifford marsh by running a 12 inch tile around it; so r it has already seven dredge ditches 40 feet in diameter, and it is too wet yet for good duck shooting. He says alternate showers of lime and ashes will keep the frost out of the muck. By solidifying, rotting, disintegrating breaking up and furnishing phosphate of potassium to the corn stalk which converts it almost entirely into big solid ears; he never lays his corn by, but always lays by his corn ’til it is in the crib. When his corn is as big as a horse’s back, and as fine as silk, he ties a 2 x 4 harrow on top of a 3 x 5 clod masher, and hitches it to one mule, and drives up and down the rows to irrigate the field. He tests his cows with a tuberculine curry comb; if the mercury rises in their temperature, and they get hot and kick they’ve got the consumption and you’d better have them vaccinated or sent to Florida for their health, lest they breed some disease to the kids uptown who drink the buttermilk.

Mr. Glazebrook got pretty badly mired in the muck, and I thought for awhile he was going to balk, but he finally pulled out all right; said the muck was too loose and swampy for anything but Irogs, snakes, reptiles, enemies and pestilence. Even Uhen drained will produce nothing but weeds, nubbins, frost, drought, profanity, divorces and the itch. Cited an instance, while plowing or pushing along through the muck, skunks and polecats, hares arid rabbits, and many other water fowl began to come out of their burrows in herds, and gallop away across the fields; and in plowing the outside furrow, he found he had shoved the paitition line two or three rods over ohto his neighbor, Surveyor —— . The next topic discussed was consumption. Dr. Washburn di-

ognosed this disease, analyzed it in each step, from the cough to the coffin. He" thought consumption was not hereditary; gave an experiment with flies. Some flies were allowed to feed on consumptive sputum, after which they contracted tuberculosis, flew 1 to the kitchen table, wallowed in the butter and jellies; coughing constantly, the hectic spot grew brighter on their cheeks from day to day, until at last they succumbed to death in the most malignant form of Tuber-oulosi-delirium-tremi. He estimated that one half the people in the room had consumption in some form, at which several made a wild rush for the door, coughing and spitting. He stated that butter and cheese also have consumption. Dr. Johnson said, in substance, that an ounce of prevention is better than a ton of cure; that it was better to prevent consumption than to have. He advised that you carry a tin cup in your pocket to spit in. to prevent spitting on the street and thus transmitting the disease to dogs, cats and guinea pigs. Dr. Moore thought that if you take the consumption in time to properly handle the Baccilli, you can easily knock the tubertdos out of it. He claims that it makes no difference whether it is a contagion or an infection, because the terms are simultaneous, sbnonomous, similar, parallel and alike, because whether you take it or catch it, if you get it you have it, and if you possess it, you better get rid of it. Professor Husselman also had a slight touch of consumption in the afternoon. I mentioned our Old Jasper Home, in verse. The first days’ Yvork closed at the end of the programme. The evening session opened by a talk on the Law of the Farm, by Judge Thompson. He quotecHwkn Burns, Shakespeare, and the StaU utes of Indiana. In brief, he said “There is a law to keep dogs from running about at night, but none for boys and girls. The fanner lives by faith, hoping that the weather bureau will send rail - , enough to make a crop. A bird ii. the hand is worth two in the bush; therefore, if a man wants to be first rate he must not use second rate tobacco.” He objected to Battle Ax plug on account of its belligerent tendencies on the minds of the youth. “Fill your cribs with corn, but don’t get full yourself. You have a to warn hunters off your land, whether they pay any attention to it or not.”

Mr. Chiloote digested the ditch law fully, deliberately and elaborately, giving ifi detail the duty of each officer in connection withthe same. He urged that it was against the law for a horse, or any other animal, to die in a living stream or public ditch. We all live off the farmer. He said, before we had street lights in this town I have stumbled along down town many a dark night, to get a box of matches or a candle for breakfast. R. W. Marshall was a little knocked out on account of the intelligence he was compelled to face. He told a story of Brady the New York lawyer, and- then went to pulling noxious weeds, theoretically; but said his wife would not allow him to pull weeds at home on account of his health. He soon gave way to J. W. Douthit whose rhetorical powers sent his eloquent voice over the audience, holding them spell bound for several minutes, on the subject of highways. He believes that no animal, however sweet he may sing or how swift he may fly, or fast ho may run, but what iiossedses that peculiar characteristic of trading with his fellows; but you can’t sell bananas on the public highway. The general plan is tp elect the orneryest man for road supervisor. He wants the Road Superintendent placed back ui. the throne, and ex-

perts hired to do road work. Jesse Wilson next followed, cutting down every hedge fence that came in his way. He thinks the law for fencing is to build them so high that mules can’t jump over. Husselman tries to compromise fence suits with his neighbors, because although he may not live forever, his boys may. Today’s session opened stormy, but the attendance was good, and kind, Prof. Lane says it is economy to feed and w r ater your stock. I didn’t hear all he said because I wasjaway during my absence. Husselman never feeds slop to pigs, but gives them rolled oats for dessert, and advises you- to feed your hens oyster shells, bones and nigger heads; thinks ice water is too much of a delicacy for fowls and stock. He illustrated the subject of buying and selling, by the bachelor who bought the baby cab, and then didn’t know how to use it. Don’t buy all the land that joins you. Make your butter to suit the trade, whether it is fit to eat or not. Buy stock when it is low, and sell when high; never buy at sales. Keep only the best and try to improve it; survival of the fittest. Speak, think and act the truth, and grow happy. He proved that in burning, every ash is a potash, oak ashes are strong, but you could make a whole meal on muck ashes. He made the assertion that if you plaster your stable with gypsum it will hypnotise the amonia and it can’t get aw’ay. Plants drink but never eat. Musical evidence was very nicely rendered by the Mathesons’, that Rome wasn’t built in a day. The subject of home was rendered so homely and nice that big men slied tears, who didn’t know how to cry. A stanza of Home Sweet Home was sung by Thbmas Howard Payne, led by Miss Wharton in which every body joined the chorus, shook each other good bye, and went home.