Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 19, Number 22, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 November 1897 — The Comic Sidd Of the News [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Comic Sidd Of the News

A Colorado husband has sued for divorce because his wmc has cold feet. Why not compromise on a hot brick? When the hands were played out in New York it was discovered that the Tammany tiger had captured high, Low and the game. Dr. Parkhurst cables over from Paris to say that New York is lost. Why not give it up, then, r.nd try to save the unregenerate French capital? .n A cheerful imbecile in Oshkosh tried to drink three pints of whisky at one sitting to win a bet. and died within a few minutes. Lqss, 75 cents; no insurance. A few years ago Grover Cleveland wrote to a frjend that “married life is one glad, sweet song.” Since then, however, Mr. Cleveland has changed it to a ehorus. It is announced authoritatively that Spain doesn't want Uncle Sam's good offices. That is nil, right; most of the good offices already have been disposed of anyway. ! -yS ■ It is reported thht the Ute Indians have recently violated the Colorado game laws by shooting settlers out of season. Perforation is the only sure cure for that trouble. A St. Louis grocer advertises "anarchistic ciddr,” and now the public wonders whether that means cider which will make a man an anarchist or merely cider which hasn’t worked. Nothing which Miss Cisneros has observed in this country probably has struck her more forcibly than the celerity with which a dime museum attraction is dropped by the common people. That Detroit girl who has sued for $299 damages for breach of promise to marry evidently has been critically examining her affections and decided to order a bargain sale marked down from S3OO.