Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 44, Number 256, 9 August 1919 — Page 16

PAOFC TWO

tittle FoM Corner Now. little folks, I'm going to tell you a story a nice Thanksgiving story. It was the day before Thanksgiving, and the boys "over there" were reading letters and opening Thanksgiving boxes full of turkey and etc. But If you would have been there,' you would have noticed one lad that bad no letters nor any thing. Poor lad! he had no folks to write to him. He was an orphan, lie stood it as long as he could, and then his eyes filled with tears, and he went into his camp and buried his face in his pillow. Oh, how he wished he had someone to care for him like the rest! When he woke up he realized he had been dreaming. Then the dream came back to him. He had dreamed that back there in Amer ica someone was waiting for him. This gave him a new hope. Then one of the boys rushed in. Now, I forgot to tell you this orphan boy's name: it was Hiram. "Say, Hiram," exclaimed Sam, "Look, here! In this letter my mother says for me to give the ex tra pile of Thanksgiving eats to someone that hasn't got anyone to send them things. She sent two chickens, two sacks of doughnuts, and you can see for yourself what's in the box. Half of it's yours." Hiram thanked Sam with tears in his eyes. One thing I have forgot to tell you is that Hiram and Sam were very good friends and had always fought side by side. Hiram had been awarded for bravery eight times and Sam six times. This didn't make either of the boys any prouder, but made them fight that much harder. About a month after Thanksgiv ing the General appeared in Sam s and Hiram's tent. He did not find them there, so he went outside and called: "Sam Borne and Hiram Bright wanted at once at their tent!" In an instant the boys appeared. They saluted the General and then went into the tent. Then the General began: "Boys, you have an honorable discharge from the army. We choose to let you two boys go because you have been faithful to America for four years, and now you may go home. The boat starts tomorrow. Good-bye, and always be as good lads at home as you were at camp." Then he shook hands and departed. Next day they had started for home. In two or three weeks they arrived in. New York. New York was Sam's home and Hiram was goin to stay at his house for a; week. When they arrived at Sam's home, no one was there. So, Sam said to Hiram. "I'll get in like I used to when I got locked out." So he went and got into the cellar window and told Hiram to follow. Then they went up the cellar steps and found themselves in the kitchen. Prom there they went into the parlor and sat down to rest. About an hour after that, Sam's sister. Mary and his mother came in. Hiram and Sam had their backs to the door, and, of course, did not see or hear his folks and his folks did not necogntae him. either. Then ery quietly they went out, and Mary whispered, "Burglars!" So they went next door and got Mr. Smith. He brought his gun to hold them up. Then they went back. Mr. Smith said. "Hands up!" and was much surprised to see his own friend face him. And then there was a happy time between them. And Mrs. Borne kissed Hiram and welcomed him to her home. When she learned that Hiram's last name was Bright she exclaim ed: "Bright! Why, that was my name before I was married. What was your father's name?" "John," answered Hiram. "That was my brother's name, she said, "and you are my nephew. Welcome home." So Hiram lived with his aunt and one day there was great excite ment in the home. Hiram was going to be married to Mary and they were going to live next door to his aunt's house, and as the days passed a little girl was born, and they named it Mary, after Hiram's wife. Julia R. Burr. PERILS OF GARDENING. "Come out and help me." the war gardener called to his wife. "Oh. dear, I can't." was the re

ply. "Working in the garden don t agree with me." "What's the matter? Does your lack pain you again?" "No, but I got a freckle last week.

How Animals Take Their Baths

Human beings pay a good deal of attention to washing, but animals under natural conditions seldom wash in the sense in which we understand the verb. The contempory press has come to the conclusion that, broadly speaking, the only creatures which wash themselves in water are the birds, and many of them most, in fact are absolute enthusiasts in the practice, as any one can see, even in towns, in the case of the sparrow. Some birds, however, much prefer a shower-bath to going into water and splashing it over themselves: pigeons love a bath in the rain, and larks and cockatoos seem only to bathe in this way. It might be suggested that the high temperature of birds, which about equals fever-heat in man, accounts for this love of washing in water. The birds who do not bathe generally make up for it by dusting themselves. Everybody who keeps poultry knows, or ought to know, The ALL LONESOME LOOT NEWS Our village movie for the week: "Dead Women Start No Rows," or "She Has Lost Her Spoon, and Now She Can Not Stir." Hank Pegg says a man can give up a whole lot when he takes one of those excursion boat rides. The town board should give a few lessons to our population on city ways, as Si Grimm was laid up for a few days arter he tried to put out an electric light at the New York House by cutting the wire with a pocket knife. Yoa can get wonderful things with chewing gum coupons, so Miss Lulu Grimm said as her beau handed her a ring to announce her engagement to Hiram Billikans, our village prosperous hog raiser. Miss Grimm sells butter through the week. Ez Zarrow has bought another comb and will make another attempt to comb his hair. NUFFY'S CORNER NEWS Our town clerk Lousy claims there would not be so many divorces if people would do more courting in their every day clothes. Marir O'Harety has signed a contract to cook for another week at the Loose Change Eating Emporium. Muley Cannon printed an ad to sell his auto, and he left out the description, so the ad would be cheaper, and to assure himself of getting more replies. The Clancy kid howls so much, the neighbors have suggested to name it Cyclona. SANDY RIDGE NEWS Squire Ebbs, our village postmaster says, there is no use to hold back your letters, as postage stamps are still the same price. Our village ha.? passed a resolution to abolish all rubber collars on account of too high to watch the aeroplanes. The six o'clcok train will not stop at our village any more. The engineer had a quarrel with the station agent. At our annual picnic, a fishing contest was hold. Every body knew Miss Arabelle Ebbs was a telephone girl, because the first thing she said when the fish began to bite: "Line's busy." Uncle Ike Shinsky says there isn't much difference between the hands of your friends and the hands of the receiver. Speaking of selfish devotion. Spike Luky is teaching his sister to swim.

THE RICHMOND PALLADIUM, SATURDAY,

that one of the necessaries of fowllife is the dust bath, and the cus tom of using dust instead of water extends to all the birds of the game and poultry family; while some few employ both dust and water, like the common sparrow. Reptiles do not wash at all, but merely soak; and, in the case of beasts, deliberate washing with water seems to occur only with ele phants. Females of the African) elephant have been seen to daub their calves with mud and then wash it off soaping and sluicing them, in fact. Most naked-skinned animals like to wallow, at any rate in hot weather, and so do many which are well furred; such bathing is enjoyed not only by rhinoceroses and buffaloes, but, as everyone knows, by dogs, and even by bears and by tigers. But wallowing is not washing, and when performed in mud leaves the wallower dirtier than before, until the deposit has caked off. The equine tribe, like the game birds, favor a roll in sand, but most of the hoofed animals contrive to keep AT

Official Wind-jammer of (he ' Community

THE VILLAGE GOSSIP BY

SOME IMPORTANT PEOPLE THAT MAKE OUR VILLAGE WHAT IT IS TODAY

Widow Toodle about to make a "hit" with Hen Zarrow the village grist mill proprietor.

Uncle Si Ebbs eating bis favorite fruit, which is his Saturday's enjoyment.

Mrs. Hi Phinn's child, that keeps the neighbors in mystery, by her cute-ness.

Professor Dukes who has went thru life without a worry.

Editor Phinn, the most important man of all affairs in our village. He doesn't make much money with his paper, but has a lot of fun.

Uncle Ike Sklnsky with his stand at the county fair, where he cheats thru the week and prays on Sunday.

Justice of Peace Higgin3 settles all arguments of the village. He has two pair of boxing gloves for all people who want to settle arguments in a hurry.

Miss Liz Kankor, the famous soup server at Krebbs Hash House and the village hired girl, so many our society girls envy. GRIMEN'S CURVE NEWS Uncle Ike Corntassel never in all his life felt like giving up so much as he did when the village grocer poured oysters into a pint bucket today. This is to notify the people that they do not need a rubber band around their pocket books to hold in the money, and there's no use to hate to part with a dollar for it won't go very far. One woman at the Tuesday Art and Embroidery club admitted that she was not beautiful but we think she expected us to mention the fact, and tell her she is, and why. I

AUG. 9, 1W

their coats In order -without either dry or wet cleaning. Many supple-bodied animals find they can do all they want by lick ine: each are the cat and the moose and their respective rela tives. Bats are very assiduous both in licking and scratching themselves; and the continual scratching of the monkey tribe is not so much a search for parasites as a kind of natural curry-combing. The Animal World. "Unfurl, unfurl the flag of peace, As firm and staunch we stand, Proclaim the hour when war shall cease, To brothers lend a hand, Oh, bonnle white flag we hold unfurled, May peace encircle the whole, wide world." InToledo there are about 2,000 Boy Scouts, and this is a splendid showing as there are only about 10.000 boys of scout age in that city.

CHARLES MAC LEONHARDT

Luke Pash. Editor P h i n n 8 assistant that knows all the news of the village and about everybody. Katinka Zarrow, the oldest old maid of our village, who wishes she could live over the ten years since she was eighteen. Squire Zarrow, our village professor in winter time, and croquet player in the summer. Miss Arabelle Snubbs the village society belle, who is capable of handling a million, dollars. OLD HICKORY BEND NEWS Ez Ebbs knew it was hot the other day, but when someone said, "ain't it hot today?" the heat became intense. The husbands of the village seem to like the clinging gowns pretty well; as we notice some of the wives' gowns have been clinging for the past ten years. Samanthy Perkins broke a vase at the Zarrow home, and Mrs. Zarrow was so peeved she told the girl guess she would have to get another hired girl. Samanthy told her it would be a good idea. There is plenty of work for two girls.

RIDDLES. 1. "Tia true it has two hands, but when It stands it Hes. Marguerite Justis, SA grade. Start School. 2. Upon the hfll (here is a house, and in that house there is something with which we will all have to sup. Marguerite Xostls. 8. Eth Palep Iep. Eth palep iep si evyr, yrev, ogdo. Hwo asdi os? Ywh Arym asld os. Clare Longfellow, 5B grade, Finley School. 4. What has legs and can not walk? 5. What is e head and can not think? Thelma Marie Nicholson. (Answers will appear in next week's Junior.) ANSWERS TO LAST WEEK'S JUNIOR. 1. A cocoanut. Marguerite Justis, Starr School. 2 .Norma, Pauline, Hilda, Marcella. Dorothy, Ruby, Roma, Mary, Alma, Ethelyn, Elizabeth, Gosina. Pauline Korthaus, St. Andrews'

School. w SANDY RIDGE NOTES Owing to the shortage of geese, there will be no goose berries this year. Toothless Liz, the girl wonder, will recite "My Three Weeks in a Dentist's Chair," or "It Takes a Lot of Pull to Make Me This Way," at the Ka-Doots, Tuesday evening. We heard today, Noah was a drunkard, and wonder if that isn't the reason why our village street car tracks are so crooked. Every time Mrs. Elza Weatherby hangs up the last piece of her two weeks' washing, she sings "The End of a Perfect Day." We are always glad when Uncle Tom's Cabin comes to town. We know exactly what we are going to see for our money. Squire Phinn says he can remember when a fellow spoke to a bashful girl, she considered herself engaged. The only advantage a bachelor has, if he don't like his meals he can change hash houses. . Taking the honey out of honeymoon begins when the bride or tho groom begins to tell what a good time they had before they wcr married. Mrs. Cal. Phinn is having a furlined bath-tub installed at her home. She thinks this will reduce the cost of heat some. HOG WOLLOW BEND NEWS Mrs. Toodle phoned a want ad in to the Breeze, saying, "I want washings myself," and we hope she gets it. Lizzie Doogans can't read music but she plays fairly well. Our village pastor thought he and his wife would take Sunday dinner at the Rare Hash House, and ordered some beef steak, potatoes with skins on, and two eggs up. The waiter called out the order for the cook in this manner: "Slaughter in the pan, Murpheys with their coats on, two white wings with the sunny side up." Doc Grimm was asked to take a drink today and he refused. By Uiat we judge he is a dry Doc. Hiram Perkins took a notion to move to the city for the winter, and his object was to rent a flat The flat he liked best had a sign on the front, stating, no dogs, no cats, or no children. Hiram decided to rent this place, and when he brought his belongings, the landlord refused to allow him to enter tho place, as Illram insisted on bringing in a cow. He could not see the objections, since the sign said nothing about a cow.