Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 44, Number 252, 5 August 1919 — Page 6

PAGE -SIX

tfiE RICHMOND PALLADIUM AND SUN-TELEGRAM, TUESDAY, AUGUST 5, 1919.

THEJUCHMOND PALLADIUM

Pabtished Bvwt Evening Except SnndSty, by Erilftdfrmi Printing Co. FftQadlsua Btdtdtirg; North. Ittath vaA Ssfler Streets. Btttared t the Post Office i Richmond, Indiana, as Secand daaa Matt Mattf .

BBUBH OV maB ASSOCIATED FKESS T)i Aao14a Ptb U xaltis1vT ottiUd to th use for rpbUtlo of U w dlcpUch cr4!tod te et 4tWwk( idltd to tbj Pvf nd 1Li8t ttas local nw mMmM MreHw 111 rttt l republication of mp

Wages and Production The New York Times gives the following very sane and worthy argument on some of the results of the cycle of living and economic costs which may not be perceived by many people: Labor is entitled to thanks for its perception and admission that its high wages are disappointing bo far as the increased money fails to give accustomed satisfactions of wants. The unions whose spokesmen declare that the race bewteen wages and prices should be stopped at the present level are among the most intelligent, and therefore the strongest, in the country. They will increase the country's indebtedness to them if they will go a step further and consider how the coveted satisfactions can be obtained without reduction of wages, or with reductions of wages smaller than the increased satisfactions of wants, or even of luxuries and pleasures of life. All would like to see this, and most would assist in the process of there were belief in such a possibility. What is the missing link in the argument, and what is the answer? When more is produced there is more to di

vide, and wages will buy more without raising prices. It is true that there has been a great increase of production during the war, and that prices have risen. That is the exception which goes to prove the rule that increased production

lowers prices. The reason for the exception is that the increase of production during the war is limited to goods and services for which there is a strictly limited demand, and for the purpose of destruction rather than of satisfaction of general wants. During war the production of universally wanted goods decreased in something like a due proportion to the increase of such articles as munitions. Even stocks of general goods are depleted by the diversion of productive effort in other directions. The resultant decrease of supply in proportion to demand is the chief cause of the high cost of living. When productive effort is restored to peaceful proportion the result will be increase of supply, and the cost of living will fall, if the advice of the railway men is taken and the increase of nominal wages is stopped. It is easy to supply examples under the theory. The British Board of Trade says that for the first twenty weeks of this year the production of coal was 240,000,000 tons, compared with 287,000,000 in the last pre-war year. In both years the number of miners was the same. How is it that in normal times, with lower demand for coal and with lower wages, there was a greater production than now, when the demand is urgent and wages are the highest ever known? There are several explanations, which, it is agreeable to say, apply to our workers in less degree, and to some of our workers not at all. One is that the

British colliers are strangling their industry according to their custom by declining to produce according to their easy capacity. They are even threatening their country by refusing to produce at all, in order to force compliance with their political demands. Although better paid than ever before, they not only refuse to produce coal on a scale of a quarter billion dollars' worth a year, but by the lack of their product they check

the distribution of goods over railways or seas, while themselves obtaining their supplies from the mines direct, by trade usage. The conse

quence is such an accumulation of demand over

supply that the price has exceeded the govern

ment limit, and the government has had to an nounce an increase of price to consumers "he

cause of increased wages, shorter hours for the

miner, and decreased production per workman,

Happily, there is no-such shocking indictment

of our miners. They are agitating, but their de

mands are confined to their trade, and are argu

able, even if excessive. There are other trades not as enlightened as our railway men, who now

have an opportunity to lead the way to the pain

less reversion of prices from wartime heights to

normal. When more men than are needed are put at the work for the sake of wages rather than production of. transportation some are slackers. It is true that there is thus provided an object lesson against government operation, and that

the unions, which admit their dissatisfaction, although they have forced compliance with their demands, are put in an unpleasant position before their countrymen. The discovery of the unionists that they also are consumers, and that what they compel to be paid into one hand they are compelled to pay out with the other, may serve to direct their attention to the fact that the consumers are the masters of unions and lawmakers alike when their needs compel them to take charge of the situation. There is now going on an uprising of consumers, the dominant partner in all businesses, even that of government. Capital has experienced, is experiencing, the punishment suitable for incurring a reputation for predatory conduct. The British strikers are predatory as surely as any trust. Let our workers avoid even suspicion of exacting more pay than their services are

worth, or of conspiracy to limit production and protect slackers. For example, the president has asked congress to investigate wage increases asked by the railway shopmen. The director general informed him that their case was under consideration, but they struck. That is not consistent with the opinion of the Big Four brotherhoods that reduction of living cost is' more desirable than increase of wages, and it is obnoxious to suspicion that the shopmen are checking production by opposing methods of efficiency. They demanded time pay instead of piecework wages, and when they were accommodated there was a great loss of production. That is one of the reasons why it is necessary still further to increase

rates, and thus to put the cost of their slacking on the forgotten third party of their wage contract, the patrons of the railways. The whole is greater than the part, and no class of producers can afford to oppose their interests to the universal interest.

LITTLE TALKS ON THRIFT By S. W. STRAUS PrwuUsrf of th American 8oi'tty fw Thrift.

Condensed Gassics of Famous Authors

Every fundamental condition indicates that there win be a coottatioa of kig prices for 4 commodities. It seems entirely oat of the question, for to any reasons, to expect any rtdwction in lWta costs for at least a kng

period ft time. If erer. On the cotitrery, there are overwhelming indlcabons of a continued pwrd trend in commodity expenses and history has shown that general prtees have never receded, except or short periods of time, at the tod. of which they have agai resumed their fawner l'vels. It mast be home to mind that the present methods f Mvtog with the majority of people tend t develop Miter prices. We are lMng in fter homes, which are famished more wimptnoasly. We have a greater variety of food spread here asj we hae more forms of diversion more opportunities for travel and recreatloa, more magaalnes, hooks, theatres, music, and a host of other advantages that were not enjoyed in former yThe man holding an ordinary salary position to-day lives better than a man who was considered wealthy a few fenerations ago. This is not stated ty way of defending the present odal system. Many wrongs and Instances of injustice exist to-day, as all of as know. The point in question , that the standard of living is con

stantly growing better, and, as a resalt, prices must continue upward. The only way in which high prices can be offset is through thrift. The business house is confronted with higher costs for labor, raw material. Increased rent and larger expense ta numerous ways. There must, therefore, be the greatest possible amount of efficiency. Waste of every kind must be eliminated, and the business man must get absolutely 100 in value for every dollar of expense that goes into his business. Otherwise he will soon fall behind in the race with ais competitors. The same principles apply to the individual. Because the cost of living is high and still going higher, we must learn to practice thrift and save on every possible item of expense. If we are wage earners or employees working on a salary, self-interest demands that we develop within ourselves the grratt amount of efficiency, for in this way only will we be able to Increase cur Income and make progress in onr various lines of work. Those who are well provided with wealth have Just as much reason for practicing thrift as da those who are V-s fottur.rle. Every dollar we spend for our own self or for the benefit of society, must be made to obtain full value. These are no days for slacker dollars anywhere. There never was a time in the history of our country when efficiency, both in organised business and with the individual, was as necessary as to-day. If we understand the principles of thrift, and practlee them, we shall be able to keep with the procession, but the way of the unthrifty is going to become harder and more unhappy continually.

POINTED PARAGRAPHS

HOW THOSE IRISH DO LOVE TROUBLE! Dallas News. Maybe "President" De Valera, of Ireland, imagines that If he 6tays a while in New York he may be elected president of the United States.

THE GEORGE MATTHEW ADAMS DAILY TALK SWEETENED MEMORIES One does not have to live long to accumulate beautiful memories. If one will but look for that which is right and good, it is sure to appear. In Nature there is nothing to trouble the heart. The good God made things that way. Most of the unbeautiful in the world is but the result of our own faulty interpretation. Our memories were created that we might live In a reign of smiles during the days of darkness. We were likewise given youth that we might glory In "the lengthened shadows," with memory tossing back its hope and cheer. In our hearts are pictures that no painter could ever match. We hark back naturally to our mud pies and to our rag dolls and to our broken toys. Our child grief Is as real today as then but we are men and women now I And the years have given to our memories something sweet, with a touch of reverence. Materllnck recently wrote: "The more we see of beautiful things, the better fitted we become to perform good actions. If our inner life is to thrive, we need a magnificent store of wonderful spoils." We should court our memories, set them about us, and ask them to recite anew their "olden, golden" meanings. So many of us tread upon the edge of our days, Instead of taking the middle path which leads towarc rising suns and rainbowed twilights where are the images of our Bweetened memories, lighted by our hopes and our dearest desires with our fears forever 6ealed, never to be opened if we will let faith guide. Let us today so construct and build and serve that every succeeding tomorrow may have its sweetened memories.

CHURCHILL

-if

Winston Churchill From a Snapshot Photo.

Winston Churchill, whom wo perhaps should call Amerlcanus, to distinguish him from the lively son of Lord Randolph Churchill, who bears the same name of Winston, was born at St. Louis. Nov. 10, 1871. though bis father was of Portland. Me. He was) educated at Smith Academy, St. Louis, and graduated from the United States Naval Academy in 1894. The same year found him an editor of the Army and Navy Journal; the next year he was managing editor of the Cosmopolitan Magasine; In 1903 and 1905 he was a member of the New Hampshire legislature, and in 190S he was running for governor of that state as

the candidate of the Lincoln Republi- I can club on a reform platform, fight- LL.

nits vmia.nt D&iue iu uuwu tao pv--ltlcal practices which had grown to be time-honored, if nothing else, in that state. Some of the leaders of the Democratic party fully recognised the good he was attempting to accomplish In this early progressive movement, but the fact that he was not a native of the state, was a newcomer in politics, and was striving for Ideas which were novel and thoroughly distressing to politicians of long experience, prevented his success with the Republicans. Politics, however, have not been entirely the same in the state since; and as an education for a writer on political subjects, his experiences could be called laboratory courses.

RICHARD CARVEU BY WINSTON CHURCHILL Condensation by Hon. David I. Walsh, Ex-Governor of Massachusetts and United States Senator .

Manners showed his hand when heT'

I take no shame in the pride with which I write of my grandfather, Lionel Carvel, Esq., of Carvel Hall, In his lordship's province of Maryland, albeit he favored his majesty. He was no palavering turncoat like my uncle Grafton, whom I knew for a great rascal who had been banished to his estate in Kent county for saying in my grandfather's presence that my mother had not been fit to marry a Carvel. But if Grafton was a shadow

J on my boyhood, there was also a great

light, and this was Mistress Dorothy Manners, my constant playmate.

Dorothy bloomed early, and soon became a great beauty, with all our

Annapolis macaronis at her feet. Thanks to her foppish father, Mr.

Marmaduke Manners, she gave me to

know that none but an English earl could serve her for husband.

My boyhood "was passed in stirring

times. 'Twas In the summer of 1765, made memorable by the Stamp Act, that I first came into touch with the

brought me news that my grandfather was dead and Grafton was master of Carvel Hall. I struck him. Mr. Dix was quick to tell me that I was penniless, but Comyn insisted on offering security for me. Then back I went to Annapolis, to learn that my uncle had intercepted my letters so that my grandfather believed me dead. Henry Swain had) been successful in business and he made me factor of his new estate.! There I stayed until the dreary summer of 1774 when Liberty lost a friend1 by the death of Mr. Swain. His last wish was that I should marry Patty, but when I asked her to marry me she saw what was in my heart and asked me whether I loved her. And for tbafc there was no answer. But when I rode away to fight for my country, she told me that she would pray for me and Dorothy. At Annapolis, on my way north, I

received a great surprise, learnine

deep-set feelings of the period, al- that John Paul had spoken for me, and

Memories of Old Days In This Paper Ton Years Aflo Today

G'WANI HE SPECIFIED AUTOMOBILE. Pittsburg Gazette Times. Henry Ford says it is impossible to ride in an automobile without breaking the speed laws. Does he mean to include his own make?

QUALIFIES IN ONE RESPECT Indianapolis News. Victor Bcrger's two-hour introduction to his testimony before the special committee investigating his right to a seat in the house of representatives at least qualified him as already competent to participate in a filibuster.

What Other Editors Say

FOOD DISTRIBUTION From the Washington Post. TT is apparent from a cursory study of the food situation that the greatest hope for relief lies in lower

- lng the cost of distribution. There must be a reduction of the margin between the wholesale prices and the prices paid by the consumer. If the retailer is unable to purvey food to the public on a margin of profit of less than 100 to 300 per cent, then some other means of distribution must bo found. A pound of sirloin steak costs the purchaser at least 66 cents. The retailer bought it at wholesale for 19 or 20 cents. The packer claims his profit on that pound of beef was but a fraction of a cent, but even if it were 6 cents and were entiroly deducted from the retail price, it would still leavo sirloin 6teak selling to the customer at BO cents a pound, far above the means of the average citizen of moderate income. A pound of onions costs 20 cents at the retail market. The farmer was paid not more than 6 cents for that pound, which, may have been too much. But divide the producer's price In halves and allow him but 2 1-2 cents a pound, and onions would still retail at 171-2 cents a pound, or five times the wholesale price. Potatoes range in price at retail at $3.50 to $5.00 a bushel. The producer receives not more than $1.89 for this bushel. Cut the farmer's price in two and make the deduction from the retail price, and potatoes would be quoted at $2.65 to $4.05 a bushel, more then the average family can afford to pay. Consequently it is evident that Borne means must be found for getting food to the consumers at a much less cost than at present. If producers and wholesalers are taking unreasonable profits, they should be restrained, but It will be seen from the instances cited here that the largest Item of cost Is In connection with distribution, mid that this phase offers the moat- hopeful means of relief. That being the case, the executive officers of the government must look to the commerce clause of the constitution for the remedy. On many notable occasions

this clause ha etood as. a -bulwark of protection, to the

inztaSriEtt-ge pt financial

pirates, and it Btands now as a veritable Gibraltar, guarding the channels of commerce from the buccaneers of business: Congress shall have power to regulate commerce with foreign nations and among the several states. Under judicial construction the scope of these few words has been broadened to a degree where they confer upon the federal government an almost absolute control over the arteries of commerce. Fifteen years ago the nation was alarmed at the orgy of capitalistic combinations and concentrations which threatened to give over into the hands of a comparatively few interests control of the business of the country. Railroad combinations were especially alarming, involving as they did the future development of great communities and sections. Senator Knox, then attorney, general, laid down the proposition that congress under the commerce clause of the constitution and with the statutes then upon the books had full authority to put a stop to the monopolistic operations, and he made a test of his policy when he attacked the Northern Securities company, formed as a holding company to control two great competing railway systems. The government won its case and the merger was defeated. But what was of more importance to the coun

try, the commerce clause of the constitution was estab

lished beyond cavil as a most effective weapon for the defense of the publio interest. The Northern Securities

decision marked an epoch, in federal control of Interstate

commerce, and upon it has been constructed subsequently statutes of gTeat benefit to the country. This control should now be used to govern the dis

tribution of food products in the public weal. The great bulk of food marketed passes Into Interstate commerce

and would be subject to such control. Interstate commerce In foodstuffs could easily be governed by State agencies. Here lies the weapon with which to crush the

profiteers and ward off hunger and, deprivation from

American homes. There are numerous forms In which

this power can be used effectively. It 13 for the states men with official responsibility to select the best of them.

Tee -methods are-not of so much interest to the people fts

tha -results, "

Professor Truman Kenworthy was in charge of the Friends Bible Institute at Earlham college. Word was received here of the death of Mrs. Elizabeth Verrege, mother of Mrs. William Dormer, of this city.

W. M. Bailey attended the meeting

of the Indiana Toll and Clearing company, of which he was made a director.

Good E

BY ROY K. MOULTON

looa evening

A thirteen-year-old boy has been conducting an orchestra of 100 men In Rome. But probably the music is better than though the situation were reversed. A good many things are not worth worrying about. ONE SAMPLE, PLEASE! Magistrate Robert K. Thomas of Haverford, Pa., has fixed a penalty on Haverford lovelorns, as follows: $5 for a sample hug. $10 for hugging with two arms. $25 for a kiss of variety. $75 for a hug and kiss. $50 for a soul kiss. Man went out with three others and woke up sans money, sans clothes, sans everything but his necktie. Probably learning the great American game. News has been received in this country to the effect that wives are sold in the Fiji Islands for $5 each. Judging by the photographs we have seen well, we would look at five bucks a long time.

Old Egyption Methods Used To Preserve Fruit (By Associated Press) CHICAGO. Aug. 4. How the wisdom of the ancient Egytians is still of value to the modern industrial world is expected to be shown at the Coliseum in Chicago, when exhibits of dehydrated products are placed on view to indicate one method of reducing the high cost of living. This will be at the Hotel Men's exposition, which starts Aug. 4, and lasts a week. The purpose of this particular exhibit will be to Indicate how vegetables and fruits may be bought during the season of plenty and stored throughout the year in a small space, being used when the prices are high. The principle of conservation is the same as cold storage, but the method is different, and, for fruits and vegetables, is said to be far superior. It is said that for fruits and vegetables preserved by this process the cost is less than that canning; that the only containers required are paper sacks, instead of expensive cans and jars, and the space required is also much less. The process consists of drying scientifically so that all the water is taken from the product. When it is used it is "re-hydrated," that is, steeped in water until it has reabsorbed practically its original water content.

Indiana Branch of Road Council To Be Formed

It took 800 gobs only forty minutes to paint the battleship Wyoming from stem to stern. The navy was never afraid of a brush. The Lexington "News" observes with a certain amount of resignation that the only city it knows of where the inhabitants find no fault with the way things are run is a cemetery.

U. 5. Movie Invasion Protested In London

(By Associated Press) LONDON, Aug. 4. Managers of London's moving picture theatres are up in arms against an American film producin firm which has acquired sites for motion picture theatres in London. Their agitation reached the House of Commons today when a member asked the President of the Board of Trade whether the government was doing anything to stop it. He was told that it did not seem to be a matter In which the government could interfere and called the member's attention to the fact that imported films are subject to duty. London picture theatre managers assert that they have been good customers of the producing company and that the latter should not noppr planAo ticffliqpetfrrlftsjhem ofr a-taTgecaly

(By Associated Press) INDIANAPOLIS, Aug. 4. Organiza

tion of an Indiana branch of the fed

eral highway council, to promote an extensive highway policy, will be af

fected under auspices of the Chamber

of Comerce. Luke W. Duffy has been appointed temporary chairman.

It is the plan of the organization to co-operate with good roads asso

ciations, state automobile club ad state Grange organizations.

Masonic Calendar

Tuesday, Aug. 5 Richmond lodge, No. 196 F, & A. M., stated meeting. N. J. Haas, W. M. Wednesday, Aug. 6 Webb lodge, No. 24 F. & A. M., called meeting;

work in the Master Mason degree, be

ginning at 6:30. Clarence W. Foreman, W. M. Thursday, Aug. 7 Wayne Council, No. 10. R. & S. M. Stated assembly. Friday, Aug. 8 King Solomon's

Chapter, No. 4, R. A. M., stated con

vocation.

Zuttermeister Stand on

Main Street Is Sold

"Phil'' Zuttermeister. proprietor of

the confectionary and cigar stand oa

main street, between Ninth and Tenth streets, announced the sale of his stand to a young Greek, early Tuesday

morning. Zuttermeister says he is going to

take a long vacation before announcing his plans for the future as he

Has worked for the last eight-years

though I had already learnt from my friend Mr. Henry Swain, a lawyer and

man of note among our patriots, tne doctrines that were kindling righteous revolt. My friendship with Patty Swain, his daughter, had begun early

and it was she who gave me heart to hope that Dorothy, for all her fine airs, still thought sometimes of her childhood sweetheart.

Not until my uncle Grafton poisoned

his ear against me did my grandfather learn how strong was the republican

unirit that stirred me. ACarvei

against the King" was all he said. But I saw Grafton had triumphed.; and to tell the truth it was no pleasant thing for me to set my face against the king for whom my father had died.

About this time Dorothy s wisn was

fulfilled and she went to London. Soon Lord Comyn arrived at Annapolis with news that every macaroni in London,

Including himself, was in love witn ner on1 tviot tho nuke of Chartersea, a

expat rake. anDeared to lead the race.

There was sadness in the pride this

gave me; nevertheless, I was drawn to Lord Comyn, who was a true man.

My grandfather falling seriously m,

my uncle effected a reconciliation.

Soon I realized mat uraiton wan plotting to cheat me of my birthright and make himself heir to Carvel Hall. Even murder was tried. One night I was drawn into a duel with Lord rnmvn on a Dretext. Comyn, as loath

to fight as I, wounded me, but the fight only made us closer friends.

Soon after Comyn had saiiea ior Eng

land a second attempt to Kin mo

changed the course of my lire, l was kidnapped by pirates, and only that I had the makings of a fighting sailor

should have been slain, From tne

pirate I was rescued by a British brigantine. captained by one John Paul,

who, for the discipline he maintained.

might have been a naval commander. He recognized me as a gentleman and told me how he was returning to Scot

land to say good-bye to his mother,

for. he said, Scotland had not treated

him well. After that he proposed to

e-o to London. I jumped at this, for

was not Dorothy there? So, Paul's sad

errand done, to London we went, choosing always the best coaching

inns. Paul being for playing the gen

tleman. At London we put on a doiq

front and went to the Star andGarter in Pall Mall. I at once set out to find Mr. Manners, and caught him at his door, but he feigned not to see me, whereupon Mr. Dix, my grandfather's

agent, declared I was an Impostor, ano

had us both thrown into jail.

After three weeks rescue came from an unexpected quarter from Jack Comyn, who brought Dorothy to meet

us at the prison gates. I was overwhelmed. Dorothy greeted me so warmly that I almost believed Comyn and Patty to have been right when they vowed that Dolly loved only me. Paul declared he was "an American, the compatriot of the beautiful Miss Manners." I was minded to go back to America at once and reward Paul, but Comyn would not hear to this, declaring that I alone could save Dolly from Chartersea. I knew that Comyn, in telling Dorothy that I loved her, had sacrificed hiraBelf. When I met Mr. Manners he declared he had not seen me on the former occasion, but I knew he lied. As for Paul, when he saw how the land lay, he gave us the slip and sailed for America as captain of the Betsy bark. In the betting books of White's and Brook's is the record of much of my life in London, for I travelled in fast company. My friendship with Charles James Fox is a story in itself. He admired highly my defense of the colonies, although he did not then openly espouse our cause. Fox warned me that Chatersea was plotting against me, and proof came when the duke wagered I could not ride Baltimore's horse Pollux, for Pollux was a man killer. Nevertheless. I rode the beast, and when Chartersea tried to follow me. Pollux threw him into the Serpentine. Thus foiled, Chartersea waylaid me at Vauxhall. and I knew Manners had helped to trap me. Comyn came to my rescue-end was wounded, butJyagTinnort

I went to see him and found that it was John Paul himself, who had an estate in Virginia and was bound for

Philadelphia to lay before congress his plan for an American navy. How he succeeded is known. I sailed with him, and was with him in many of his great sea fights, the last being that of his Bon Homme Richard against the Serapis, in the North Sea. This was the hottest battle of all, and my last memory of it is the sight of a naked seaman rushing at me, pike in hand. I awoke. Where was I? What room was this? Who was this coming to tend me. Who but Mammy Lucy. Dorothy's old nurse, to tell me that I was in London in Mr. Manner's house Where was Dolly. I was soon to- 0 her, if the doctor permitted. sM came! The little room was Heaven," though I was stretched on a bed of pain. Mrs. Manners answered my questions. Jones had contrived to let Dolly know I was wounded and in hospital in Holland, and Comyn had brought me down to England. I also learned that my uncle had been deprived of his estate for treachery and that Carvel Hall was mine. And now I was to be smuggled out of England again. This time Fox played smuggler, and I soon asked Dolly to be my wife. But did I not love Patty? she asked me. I told her the truth. "Dear Richard," Dolly said, "I believe I have loved you all my life." We were married on the loth of June and Patty dressed the bride. Poor Patty, You have heard your mother speak of Aunt Patty, my dears. Ere I had regained my health the war for Independence was won, "I pray God that time may soften the bitterness it caused, and heal the breach in that noble race whose mottois Freedom; that the Stars and Stripesand the Union Jack may one day float together to cleanse the world of' tyranny I" Copyright. 1919. by Post Publishing. Co. (The Boston Post) All rights reserved. Condensed from Richard Carvel, by Winston Churchill, copyright, 1899, 1914, by the MacMillan company. Used by permission of author and publisher.

Dinner Stories

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch tefca. o! a carpet merchant who bought a dru store and used the sign by making i; "Rug Store." Recalls the purchase of a trunk factory by a saloon man wh insisted that the sign went with tbj purchase and made it, by a stroke 4 the brush. "Drunk Factory." i

The conservation turning to tb beauties of Chaucer, a spirited dlsci Eion ensued. Not one of the membei of the Christmas gathering had evf seen, much less read, a line of thi gentleman's works; but they all hi to pretend they had. Grandma, however, was foolish e

ough to confess her Ignorance.

"vvno is this Mr. Chaucer?" el

asked. "Is he very popular it

ciety?"

"Madam." solemly responded one I

the debaters, "that man did somethi; that forever shuts him out from r ciety." "Heavens!" exclaimed the wqrri dame. "And what was thatf "He died, madam, several hundt1 years ago!" Even the children are beginningo talk motor jargon. "Look, mother," said a little felJr. ! pointing to a hole in his stocking, "e had a blowouL" j A little girl, being asked howie I managed to catch a chicken, repl: 1 "I Just run him till his gas gaveit1 en' then I picked him up." A third youngster, who was usly slow in obeying his mother's 11 !

came quickly enough when she eoL him to dinner. On her polntinflS fact out to him, he said: "ok'S.

"jj vuuso o njgn ween i coitd