Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 44, Number 53, 11 January 1919 — Page 12

PAGE TWO

THE RICHMOND PALLADIUM. SAT., JAN. 11. 1019

1 C

JIMMHC B.

XXIV. . Dear Dad: I sure am glad that I'm mo and not Tom Harlow, or anyhow that I came down to you and mother Instead of being sent over there, because dad, L don't think Mrs. Harlow ever was a boy like us or knows how we fellows like to do. You know I was telling you about that auto we made yesterday. Well, this morning the fellows came over real early so I hitched up and we tied the auto on behind the cart and then we started out. Mother was going down to the Red Cross rooms but Jean didn't see how Tom can grow up to be

of her, because you see now dad. when we have the trailer there is plenty of room In the cart. So Jean was there on the front seat with me while Bill and the other fellows took turns in the cart and trailer, or I mean they were going to. Harold Jones got in the front seat of the auto first and Tom Har-

Irtur in I ho tiarIr coat nannuco thAV

had furnished the most things for the trailer, and then we went down

to market because mother wanted

me to get seme things for her real early. It just went grand. The back wheels did go just a little crocked, one being higher than the other that way, but nobody would hardly notice it and Tom said it felt something like being on one of the

horses in a merry go round. And

then, dad, with the top "being up

that way just over the back seat,

it did look almost like a real limouszeene. Almost everybody turned around to look at us, and dad, I'll bet they never guessed we had made it all by ourselves; did they? Anyhow, while I was In getting the things for mother, of course Mrs. Harlow had to drive up in her

electrick, and when she saw Tom in the trailer she got awful mad, because you know she doesn't like Bill Hadley a bit, and she said Tom had to come right home with her. So Tom started but dad, I guess that paint hadn't got quite dry, aiyl I knew she'd get madder than ever if she'd see Tom from the back, so I went up to her myself, dad, and told her how Tom had worked to get the auto done, and if she'd only let him get some

good out of It he could ride on tho ' back seat there where he wouldn't be anywhere near Bill, so finally she said all right. We got home as fast as we could and began to clean Tom up but dad it was an awful Job. Harold Jones wasn't as bad because I guess the paint , had dried faster out in the open than it had under the top Anyhow dad, you know how long and fuzzy Tom's hair is on top, well, when he had raised up It had wiped off about all tho blue paint. We tried just everything on it and on his clothes, too, but nothing seemed to do any good, so finally I

got him one of my old shirts that was about his size, but I couldn't find him any knickerbockrs so we had to cut the paint out of his and

sew in some new goods out of one

of your old coals George Brooks and I did the Bewing and I didn't know we could do so good, why dad you couldn't hardly notice the difference when you stood back k a little bit and squinted up your eyes. And while we were fixing those things up Harold was cutting the painted hairs off, because he just had to dad, some clear down by Tom's head, but others just on top, he only cut s much as he had to. But I guess we didn't notice how long it was taking, because all at once we heard Mrs. Harlow calling up the front stairs to know if Tom

was there, so we said he was coming right down, and he did. But dad, the first minute she saw him she just sort of shrieked, and then she grabbed him and shook him and said what had he done, and when we tried to explain she would not listen but dad, she said Tom was going to half to go to bed the rest of today and then stay In the house until his hair grew out again. And dad, I'll tell you what. I don't see how Tom can grow up to be a general and help win the war liko I can when his mother treats him like a Hun, do you? JIMMIE.

SOCIETY

Miss Helen Jean Saxton spent the evening last Tuesday with her

friend, Julia R. Burr.

DEW AND FOG. Dew. 'e know that there is a radiation of heat from the earth at night and, as we further know, this process causes cooling; hence the solid objects on the earth begin to fall In temperature; and air that comes in contact with them is also cooled, which causes it to reach the temperature at which, the moisture it contains is in a saturated condition; then the air deposits this

moisture unon the cold objects in

form of what we call "dew." The

trmnfrmrp lo wnicu uie uuuun

phere must bo cooled In order th

condensation may take place known as the "dew point."

Fog. If the cooling at night is very great, as when it lowers the temperature of the entire body of air near the earth, then the condensation lakes place not only on grass, trees, etc., but on the dust particles which are suspended in the atmosphere. This makes a fog. A hint. Ftllows, it is a hot day and you are in tle water enjoying a swim. And then when you come out of the water you discover to your amazement that you shiver. And to your further amazement von discover that It's a hundred in

the shade and there is not a bit of wind. You wonder what makes you so cold. But just take this iifro your mind and you will never wonder again: Evaporation causes coolness. The. water from your wet body is evaporating and that is why vou feel cold. (By Lone Scout Nick E. Sm-ieyn, 1623, North Hermitage ave., Chicago, 111.

Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cat off all unnecesfary action.

Overseas Edition

THE HICKSVILLE BREEZE "The Official Wind Jammar of Community." Somewhere in France, Dec. 5, 1918

Front Lines Extra

HEARD FROM FRANCE. Miss Smathy Smithens heard from her fellow and she thinks the letter ought to be published in the rceze:

' somewnere m juua This year. My sweet-loving doughball Smathy: Tout de suite Smathy that's French, dear, means directly, and , do you know all I think of you is, ."tout de suite." I think of your . gliding'arms as I go "over the top" (of the cafe tables) -to get another . bottle of wine. And Smathy, lover, you're a "darb." I've seen beau-

coup girls . over here, (oh, gee, there I go slinging that French again, that means very much or ' lota). ' . . Another thing, Smathy, dear, I ; shall never forget the time when you rolled off my lap, I felt very '. sorry at the time, but little doughball, I had to giggle for you did .' come down like a ton of cement

, blocks. . You're as big as the side of a barn, anyway; Oh, don't get . pceyed dear, as you know I am in love- with you. I think you have a nice doa too. You ought to see me

. chasing the enemy, me and Eddie " drove a whole bunch of them cruel creatures to their holes and we are going to get a ''Cross of Misuse"

and when we all come back, noney

dear, the police force, he won't

.have anything on-us tor decora

Hons. Eddie, he Is so awkward that

he fell in a little shell hole right in

fday light and nearly drowned it's

a wonder ms day nasn t come be

. fore this for he's always monkeying , around something dangerous. I kin

speak French, in the morning, but am all out of luck, Smathy, dear, in

the rest of the day. I can say Hon

Jour and if they don't say anything

else I iret by wltn me language

(Bonjour is good morning). I hope

vou stHl like your cm job or suns

ine hash at Inside Inn, and when I

pnmn back, we'll have lota of fun

again for I am going to ask Slim for

me old Job back,. a slinging er too. Yon said you saw "Jessie James"

in the movies, and I was wondering

if. you saw "Barroom Annie s uevenge." It was a good play and . you should sec Annie get her revenge, tco; it reminded me so much . of the days when you and me used to throw those empty bottles at each other. I hope your temper will improve by the time I get back for it might be a dangerous thing as me being a U. S. soldier, and as mean as they make 'em. Well I must close tout de suite, and hope you still love your ducky love from the tip of your toe nails to the

, crown of your dome. W rite beau-'-coup fetters. From your own boy you d love to raise. ARCHIE DOOGANS. YAPP'S CENTER NEWS. ' rjudd Watklns told the boys at the Batchelors' club last night, "that it must be a rather queer feeling to marry for money and th?n don't get if

Squire Perkins spent the biggest part of last week over In the city, and he stopped at a pretty good sized hotel. He was telling the boys who loaf around Sig. Coles' grocery about his trip when Ham Winters spoke up and asked the squire it the hotel was American or European plan and the squire studied for a minute and said, "Well, I guess it was more on the European plan, for a fellow had to fight for everything they got."

THE HICKSVILLE BREEZE Edited by C h a s. MacLeonhardt 3rd Co., 3rd Air Service Mechanics Member American Expeditionary Forces in France.

''The Lost Cord," has never been found according to singing that Clarabelle Swiggins rendered at the Medoleon Hall last night.

Ebenezer finubbs lectured at the

Medolon Hail to the old Civil War veterans, using the title, "Take in

Everything You Hear, but Don't Believe All." He expressed his views by a few illustrations saying, "It

was hard to make him believe there was a spoonful of grease in a barrel of lard or a race horse could not

out run a tortise." The boys agreed

that Eb. was getting down to the

fine points of life and guessed he was about right

Ham Luke's boy said, "His father

did not have to register, because they have steam heat in their

house."

The famous shot gun case will be

resumed in next month's court. Ben Boggs'. boy still claims he did

not hire Miss Lucy Deets to pull the trigger, so he would loose a finger

to escape the draft. Town Consta

ble Plum is pretty wise and says! he has pretty good evidence of the c:ise. ; ., FROGTOWN BRIEFS Mrs. Sum Kankor announced at the Ladies' Drop Stitch club last night that the titles of tho Lectures to be given this winter are: "Teaching the Baby to Crawl Without Wearing Out His Clothes," " Frying Onions Without Oder," "Cook

ing Beets Without Gas," "How to Keep Soup Beans out or Spagetta Holes When Cooking Together," and "A Woman's Place is at HomeUnless there is Seme Scandal in:

tho Village."

Miss Lizzy Scribbs had her photo taken this week. She thinks that

Bud Wi atherby got it, for he wai ;

the last fellow who called at her';

heme. ; H Bcsrs hates to play his talk

ing machine any more, especially ;

when there's a ciowd of women ta

According to Squire Barns: "A man has . to live with a woman a hundred years before he knows her very well, and" then he takes some awful dangerous risks." "Bringing up the baby on canned milk" will never be a very good success, because tho cans are too

hard to open without any more experience than the baby has.

Tho Bug Center . Concert Band will not play at Skunk Creek picnic on account of Mr. Perkins the lead

er had to stay home and help his

wife scrub.

Hicksville fly swatting association met at Squire Jones' home last week to get plans together to gather next years fly crop. While chasing a cat, Miss Artilda Mufl8hawl slipped on a banana peeling. The cat escaped uninjured. Mr. and Mrs. SI Apple have two new girls. They have named them Seedy and Cory. Hecktor Grigsby thinks his wife is more like a U-boat every day. She is always sinking something. Yesterday she .sunk her fist In Hector's eye. The chewing gum ordnance committee met last night in the rear of Ben Zorrow's pool-room. No business of importance was discussed, except that none of the young women of the city will be permitted to exchango gum. t : v "What is the Fourth of July" was the argument at Squire Ben Gosh's grocery store last evening. After

much argument, ,dam Peelwheeler

said, "The F'ourth of July is a na

tional holiday made for the benefit

of popcorn and peanut promoters,

tin horn and toy balloon venders,

lemonade chemists, dealers in ex

plosives and physicians and sur

geons. Also a splendid time to shoot the neighbor's cat or loose a finger. .

Of all the names of Chinks who

run laundries, here's a new firm in

Hicksville called "Flir Ting & Ghea TinK." Ben Boggs says, "flirting

usually leads to cheating," and he

thinks the firm will do well.

"Fool and their money soon part" said Silas Greenton, as he plunked down a nickel for a soda. Aunt Liz Oakwood forgot to put the cat out last night, and her two gold fish and one canary bird 13

missing. So is tho cat, now.

Miss Hazel Boggs left for Heck-

tor's Center for a two weeks course on "how to wear a hobble

skirt."

BUGS CENTER NEWS. One hard-boiled egg with each

drink is the latest from Katy's Ice Cream Parior. , . Sam Kaaker's Photo shop will give away one enlargement with

Sy Henry says, "he can't hardly

Miss Lucy Deets could not work) as ticket collector at tho movies be-J cause she had to stay home and have her rings cleaned. '

Sadie Corntassel will open her millinery store In tho rear of Watson's feed store this year.

au unui Satuiduy night comes, so ho can take a bath."

the rocm, for he says:. "You can't tell when the blame thing is run down."

"How good teeth can be made from snags." is the title of a lecture delivered by Deacoif Jones at the Ma-Ka-Dcots hall next Wednesday. The Ladies Aid and Embroidery Club of the Hickory Bend PennvEallitcost church were there.

Those who were present: Misses Mattsie Orazietooth, Lizzie Never-

ihurtem, Ardella Toothlesawonder.

Manda Ingrownface, Sally Lackemza?, Billle Goldcrewn, and Bertha Ackemmore. "Spike" Lucas will spend this Christmas in ji.il as usual.

Martha Pushbys thinks she will travel with Gallaces and Swayback's circus this year. When Editor Plum asked her what she could do, Martha said, "Well, I kin skin a

cat on a pole and not erfraid of embarrasnient." Heck Joshby over-

! heard Martha's answer to Editor

Plum's question and said he thought Martha had lots cf nerve, for he didn't think he would even run the lisk cf being in a cage with the animal called "embarrasnient." : Ez Zarrow's boy was up for examination for the army and the examining officer found the boy to have

each patron who smiles correctly while watching the birdie.

SAD BUT TRUE. "Come to me you sweet smelling bug. And give-me just one lovely hug;" The other bug got very sore, And threw his hat upon the floor. That little remark started the fight, So they hurried both bugs last

night.

floating kidneys he was not dis

charged but turned over to the

Davy.

AT THE CROSS ROADS. Officer in car: "Does this road go towards the front? M. P.: "Yessir, what's left of it

does.