Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 43, Number 250, 31 August 1918 — Page 12

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RICHMOND PALLADIUM. AUGUST 31. 1918. CRAP FROM SAMMY STA Y AT -HOME'! OLD KIT BAG 5n Talk- about troubles, If any man wants to be filled clear full urn, Just let him try to go fishing In log days with a few admirers. SOME DIFFERENCE. "John," asked the teacher, "what Is the difference between electricity and lightning?" "You don't have to pay for lightning," said John. Lone Scout Magazine. 'THE GOVERNMENT SAYS T' EAT FISH AN' SAVE MEAT AND FATS SO HERE'S LUCK!'

U'b all right to have admirers in the right place, but when a gang of nine-year-old youngsters keep hanging after you while you try to do some good fishing, it's different. " There are disadvantages in wearing a uniform. You can bo too popular. One stub nosed younster named j Jim shooa the bait all out on a rock and then went oft and forgot it. That was bad enough, but the next minute, not noticing, I sat down on that rock. Then Jim asked who spilled the chocolate custard. But the worst was a long-necked, spindled toy who had been exposed to poetry. . For some time he had been vaguely mumbling something about "Little ehadows dusk and shiver," but all at once, as we came to a jdace where the water was going a little faster over some rocks, he Clasped one hand over his head while he waved his other arm in the air and shouted, "I have it! That's how the Water Cornea Down from Lodore." - And I couldn't stop him. "Rising and leaping, Sinking and creeping, Swelling and sweeping, Showering and springing, Flying and flinging, Writhing and ringing, Eddying and whisking, Spouting and frisking, Turning and twisting, Around and around With endless rebound! Smighting and fighting, A sight to delight in; Pnnfoiinrtint'. astnnndin. Dizzying and deafening The ear with its sound. j "Collecting, projecting, j Receding and speeding, t And shocking and rocking, j And darting and parting, And threading and spreading, I And whizzing and hissing, t And dripping and skipping, i And hitting and splitting, j And shining and twining. And rattling and battling. And shaking and quaking. And pouring and roaring, And waving and raving. And tossing and crossing. And flowing and going. And running and stunning, And foaming and roaming, "And dinning and spinning", And dropping and hopping. And working and jerking. And guggling and struggling, And heavin ana cleaving, And moaning and roaoing; "And glittering and frittering, And gathering and feathering. And whitening and brightening, And quivering and shivering, And hurrying and shurrying, And thundering and floundering; "Dividing and gliding and sliding, "Dividing and gliding and sliding. And falling and brawling and sprawling, y And driving and riving and striving, And sprinkling and twinkling and wrinkling. And sounding and bounding and rounding. And bubbling and troubling and doubling. And grumbling and rumbling and tumbling. And clattering and tattering and shattering;

"Retreating and beating and meeting acd sheeting, Delaying and straying and playing and spraying, Advancing and prancing and glancing and dancing. Recoiling, turmoiling and toiling and boiling, And gleaming and streaming and steaming and beaming, And rushing and flushing and brushing and gushing. And flapping and rapping and clapping and slapping, And curling and whirling and purling and twriling, And thumping and plumping and bumping and jumping. And dashing and flashin and splashing and clashing; And so never ending, but always descending. Sounds and motions forever and ever are blending, All at once and all o'er,- with a mighty uproar; And this way the water comes down at Lodore."

When he was all through, I asked him where he got it. He told me a fellow named Robert Southey. over in England, wrote it, but his English teacher taught it to him. The superintendent is still hunting somebody to take her place, I heard.

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All we caught that day was crawdads. "Do you like stories, Wally?" asked the visitor. "Yes. All except the end of them," said Wally. "Why don't you like the end of them?" "Because that's where they stop." Exchange. Teacher: "Have you ever seen bananas growing?" Archibald: "No, ma'am; I never had time to watch them. Pittsburg Press. The conversation at a social affair turned to the importance of being on the safe side, when the following anecdote was contributed by Congressman Joseph W. Fordney of Michigan. Recently little Willie's grandmother came from a nearby town for a few days' visit and while the good woman was sitting on the veranda one afternoon, Willie approached with a questioning look. "Grandma," said he, "can you crack nuts by biting them?" "Not any more, Willie," answered grandmother. "I lost all my teeth several years ago." "Fine!" echoed Willie, with a relief as he gave her a handful of walnuts. "Hold these, please, while I go and get some more." Philadelphia Telegraph.

"What did you read while you were convalescing?" " 'The German Invasion of Belgium.' " "Did you think that an appropriate book for a person in your condition?" "Sure the madder I got the stronger I felt." Birmingham Age-Herald.

Teacher (reading from the 'Vision of Sir Launfal") : "Oh, what is so rare as a day in June?" Boy (in front seat) : "A red-headed Chinaman." Boy's Life. The Chautauqua Is a very fine thing. The children enjoy it very much. I know that they enjoyed the lecture given by Mr. Lorado Taft. Mary Estelle. HIS BREED. "What is that dog a pointer or a setter?" '"He's a pointer when there is beefsteak near, and a setter when we're looking for game." Life. EXPERIENCED. Recruiting officer of cradc regiment: "So you wish to join the corps, do you? Had any military experience?" Young Dude: "Oh, yes; worn a beastly wrist watch for two years, don't you know. London Tid-Bits.

SOME GAME. "Here, Jack, stop. What are you putting that handkerchief into Willie's mouth for?" "We're playing Christmas dinner. Willie's the turkey, I'm the

I i:iiu it auu iue uaiiuivci tuit'i is mu fitUlfing. THE REASON. "I know why bees never sit down." said Walter. "Why, my dear," asked his mother. " 'Cause they has pins in their coat tails and they is afraid to," he replied. CLASSIFIED NEWS. The politician rushed past the official Cerberus into the editorial sanctum. "What do you mean?" he roared. "What do you mean by insulting me as you did in last nigiVs Clamor?" "Just a minute," replied the sditor. "Didn't the story appear a3 you gave it to us, namely, that you had resigned as the City Treasurer?" "It did. But you put it under the head 'Public Improvements.' " Sacramento Bee. THE REASON. The teacher of the fourth grade, noticing a part of the blackboard covered with small wads of paper, approached the nearest boy and said sternly: "Johnny did you throw those paper wads on the board?" "No, ma'am," was the timorous reply, "mine didn't stick." Many of the toymakers of the Sonneberg district in Germany have now turned their attention to maunfacturing munitions of war. We must have reasons for speech but we need none for silence. Speech was given to man to conceal his thoughts.

Miss Mae O'Laughlin and Little Helen MacGregor. Miss Mae O'Laughlin. etiampion diver of the United States, hopes to make another champion out of Helen MacGregor, five-year-old water star. The two were snapped during a lesson at Grighton Beach winter pool in New York. Miss O'Laughlin will compete in the international professional diving championship tournament to be held at Brighton Beach soon. r