Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 43, Number 162, 20 May 1918 — Page 14

SAGE FOURTEEN

THE RICHMOND PALLADIUM AND SUN-TELEGRAM. MONDAY, MAY, 20, 1918

Fifty Seven Varieties of Love Described at Pickle Club Meeting

CHICAGO, May 20. Sweet love, sour love, jarred love, preserved love at leaat 67 varieties of love were described at a meeting cf the nil Fickle Club, 18 tooker place, when six alleged young women discoursed oa "How Men Make Love." '. For the benefit of the uninitiated let ft be said that the Dill Pickle Club is in exclusive clan which demands that nery member in good standing shall ear long hair and a Windsor tie. Dr Ben Reitman, platonlst, who ays he is more loved against than lov"ng, presided at the soiree. Before In

troducing the speakers he announced that men would' elaborate upon the theme of love at the close of the session, inasmuch as man could enlarge upon the affectionate experiences of mere women. Martha Blegler opened the program by propitiating the masculine element among the Dill Pickles. "I am not a man hater," she exclaimed.' "I love 'em all " . Defines Virtue. At this point a male spectator seated upon a ledge suddenly cracked the window pane. ' -

Miss Biegler paused - momentarily,' seemingly struggling with a fading memory. "When I was 19 years old," she said, "I was walking with a man, and seated upon a church step, he attested his love, proving his fondness by offering me S40. What is virtue, you ask? I answer, refusing $40. - All sorts of love were recollected by Miss Biegler love by moonlight, love by gas and electric light, love in autos, love in cemeteries and love in hallways. Eulalia Burke, who had promised to relate her amours, declined at the crucial moment, stating, "Men are all the same. You start to make friends with a man and he grows bleary-eyed and paws you." . Peggy Tanner, one of the symposium of six, walked to the platform

THINK OF CONKETS-THINK OF DRUGS THINK OF DRUGS-THINK OF CONKEY'S

Corner Main and Ninth Sts.

VALUES

MONDAY, MAY 20, 1918

SERVICE

RED-CROSS-A-GRAMS We're In It Let's Win It. Put The "I Can" In American Keep the "Glow" In Old Glory Save A Life This Red Cross Week. Wayne County War Fun Campaign, May 21. 22, 23 and 24. 191S. At the close of the first year of the War the Red Cross goes to the publlo for the raising of the Second War Fund with a record of appropriations which warrants continued contributions to this great relief work. Your Red Cross is the Army behind the Army. As an influential citizen of this community you should Join heartily with the Wayne County War Fund Committee workers to make this worthy campaign, a success. Give till your heart says stop. We are In this war for Democracy for Liberty the following by Patrick Henry is very apropo at this time: "Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but for me, give me liberty or give me death." Again we repeat, contribute all you can possibly spare to The Red Cross. Say today I'll CONTRIBUTE to the Red Cross. Do your bit score a hit Contribute. Twill be a bitter pill for Kaiser Bill Contribute. Do no less for your U. S. Contribute. Down the crown Contribute. Don't stop go .over the top Contribute. They in command say lend a hand Contribute. ' Back the boys with Red Cross noise Contribute. Sold by the nation to save civilization Contribute. Help your son beat the Hun Contribute. It's your fight do your mite-Contribute.

Have a heart do your part Contribute. BE OPTIMISTIC You must not say "When the war is over." Every true and staunch American should exclaim: "When we WIN the WAR" Tile and Till. FINALE This is an American city and its people are ready to back the Red Cross to the limit.

In the Lighter Vein Foreword Under the above caption, the Initial humfcle offering appearing below, it is our aim from time to tim to devote a portion of our "Ad" space to "In the Lighter Vein." In so doing if may not be amiss to remark that we take issue with the vastly great majority of advertisers who frown upon anything of "In the Lighter Vein' character appearing in their advertisements. In a calling such as ours, which so very often clasps hands with sorrow and every day with aches and pains there must be some counterbalancing feature dse life itself would lose its charm. You must permit us therefore Friend Customers to admonish you not to take this world too seriously as you are well aware of the fact that you will not leave it alive anyway, and please remember to always look bright on a rainy day as there's no need when the sun shines and remember further please the following from our old friend Dickens who sayeth "There is one broad sky over all the world and whether it be blue or cloudy, the same heaven is beyond it." We Thank You. Some Queer Ones "Deer Mr Drugest, pleas gif bearer 5 cens worse of Aunt Toxyn for to gargle babys throat and oblige." "This is my little girl. I send you 5 cents to buy two powders for a groan up adult it sike." "You will please give the lettle boi 1 sense wurth of epecac for to throw up a 5 monts' ole babe. N. B. The babee has sore stumik." "I have a cutepain in my childs diagram. Please give my son something to release it." "Nujol (Standard Oil Co. please copy) Plees gif mine cheldt 1 botel of new joy." English as She is Written Mrs. J. T. Miller read an article on "Personal Devils." Seventeen were present. Boone, la., News Republican. The first spring meeting of the Ladies' Matinee Musicale will be hell in the Central Christian church, Saturday afternoon at 2:30 o'clock. Columbus, Ind., Republican.

Stock Yards Note Mr. 'Roberts went to Kansas City with a car load of hogs. Several of the neighbors went in together to make up the car. Iola, Kan., Register. (Since writing the above we understand that Messrs. George Kemper and Charles Dagler will gladly look

after similar shipments in this sec

tion.)

Isn't HE the Particular Thing?

I want a wife, one that has been raised on the farm between the ages of 21 and 25, who does not use snuff or chew tobacco. Barboursville (Ky.) Advocate.

STORENEWS Come On In, the Water's Fine ' The great out-door is calling, subconsciously everybody will soon be out at the beaches, in the lakes, and everywhere that the cool water flows. Are you going to be in the swim? See our new season's showings. Popular and patriotic styles. Priced from 25c and up.

and also swore reticence on the subject of love. i- - . "As I look about me," he said, "I see many men in the audience who have made love to me." Several men arose and tiptoed toward the exit.. "There is Ben Reitman, for example, continued Miss Tanner. "I can't betray Ben."

Ignoring cries of "Yes, yes, go on," Miss Tanner retired. Sadie Cooke, the next speaker, announced that she ' had had but cne sweetheart. The statement was greeted by groans. "He was ugly, though a rationalist," Miss Cooke said, "and he won me by sending me literature."

WORK ON NEW BUILDING.

OXFORD, O.,' May 20. Work was today begun on a $7,500 addiUon to Miami University's chemical building. Bids will shortly be opened for the placing of red tile roofs on the two men's domitories. :

UNIFORMS ARE WANTED

Urgent requests have been sent the Quartermaster-general by Captain Myron Malaby and Major Dan Chapman, , asking that the uniforms for the members of companies K and I be sent as early as possible In order thai both companies may participate In Memorial day parade at Centervllle, May 26..

I Take My Pen in Hand"

Remember the time when you used to carry on these summer correspondences? Other young folks are doing the same thing now. See our Parisian Lawn Military stationery. 50 sheets and envelopes of unruled Khaki and a "two guns crossed" design at top of letter head. Priced at 50c and well worth it.

VINT-O-LAX Dr. Vinton's "Vint-O-Lax" Is fast becoming America's favorite vegetable Liver Tonic and Laxative. Does not gripe or sicken. Dispensed in 10c and 25c sizes.

LUX

For all fine laundering. Dissolves dirt and cleans perfectly without rubbing. Won't shrink woolens. 15c.

RIT

Washes and Dyes instantly in one operation. No boiling. Fast colors. 10 cents.

Our Ice Cream Soda's are very refrigerating. Ice cream sold in bulk. Ice cream sandwiches 5c. Ice cream cones 5c.

Grandma Said , I have only two teeth, but thank goodness they are opposite one another. , At that Grandma had something for which to fell thankful. But how much happier she might have been had she used the proper dentifrice years before. We refer to Lily's Dental Paste, which in our opinion, is the highest grade dentifrice on the market It being after the formula of J. P. Buckley, Ph. G., D. D. S., there can be no question as to its quality. Get a 25c tube at Conkey's and be convinced.

Oh.Plckles! There was a young lady named Perkins, Who had a great fondness for gherkins; She went to a tea And ate twenty-three, Which pickled her Internal work-in's.

War Measures Fight Pay Produce Save It Is War Time

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"Get It WHERE They've Got It" If It's Advertised It's At Conkey's"

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WE Thank You, Call Again.

Production and Thrift Produce More and Save More Make Your Labor Efficient Save Materials from Waste Spend Your Money Wisely. It is War Time.

SPRINGTIME FOOTWEAR

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The Greatest Mother in all the World STRETCHING forth her hands to all in need; knowing no favjrite, yet favoring all. Ready and eager to give first aid to the wounded. Helping the little horns that's crushed beneath an ron hand by showing mercy in a healthy, human way; rebuilding it, in fact, with stone on stone; replenishing empty bins and empty cupboards; bringing warmth to hearts and hearths too long neglected. Seeing all things with a mother's sixth sense that's blind to jealousy and meanness. , . Reaching out ber hands across the sea to No Man's Land to comfort thousands who mist stand and wait in stenched and crawling holes and water-soaked entrenchments. She's cheering thousands, feeding thousands, healing thousands from her store; the Greatest Mither in all the World the RED CR033. Millions of loyal Americans will pledge a part of each month's earnings during June, July, August and September. What Will You Do To Help? Red Cross 2nd War Fund May 20-27 $100,000,000 must be raised in America

Every cent given to Red Cross War Fund goes for War Relief. The American Red Cross is the largest and most efficient organization for the relief of suffering that the world has ever seen. It is made up almost entirely of volunteer workers, 10,000,000 unselfish Americans. It is today bringing relief to suffering humanity, both military and civil, in every war-torn Allied country. It is there to help our soldier boys in time of need.

J3y helping the starving women and children in the ruined districts of France and Italy it performs a distinctly military service. A soldier who knows that Red Cross is helping his family fights with renewed spirit. Thus does Reg Cross help to win the war. Congress authorizes it President Wilson heads it. The War Department audits its accounts. Your Army, your Navy, -and your Allies enthusi

astically endorse it. A

Twenty-two million Americans nave joinea n.

' To Help Win The War L

This Space is Patriotically Donated by