Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 43, Number 155, 11 May 1918 — Page 14

PACE FOUR

RICHMOND PALLADIUM, MAY 11, 101S

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TWENTY-TWO HONOR BADGES FOR WASHINGTON GIRL SCOUT

Miss Ruth Colman, a student at Central 1 high school, Washington, who is already the possessor' of twenty-two badges awarded- for proficiency in- Girl Scout movements and activities, is now the recipient of the Golden Eaglet, the honor badge of the order, which she received . personally, from the hands of Mrs. Wood row Wilson at the White House. The Girl Scouts in Washington is a particularly active . organization, and Miss Colman is one of the most active of the individual' scouts. She has been a conscientious worker since the first patrol was organized in the capital several years ago. She is now. the possessor' of practically every honor within the gift of the scouts, all of which are awarded for merit and proficiency in some department of scout activity. The" Girl Scout movement Is to the young womanhood of the world what the Boy Scouts is to the lads. It; has the' same patriotic and humanitarian purposes: It is the same as the Girl Guides of England and the continent, where the movement first originated with Miss Agnes Baden-Powell at the instigation of her brother. Sir Arthur Baden-Powell, the founder of the Boy Scouts.. The Girl Scouts in America was founded at Savannah, Ga., several years ago by Mrs. W. W Low of

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Miss Ruth Colman.,

London, England, daughter of the late Gen. W. W. Gordon- of Savannah, who personally organized there the first patrol of scouts among the children of her own girlhood friends. Since that time It has spread to practically every state in the union, .

Ladies and Gentlemen and all the rest of you present: This , cornor for"' the past fou months has been a very)oor thing to re id so I'm going to start some thing new. Any hody that- can write a good; oommoM . sense essay on Liberty Loan;- Bonds or Thrift Stamps . is urged co band it in to be printed in the -corner. If you can find a good poem or a bit of history that you think would fit in, please give it to Aunt Matilda (Madge Whitesell). - Of course the. news shall not be omitted. . Toddy thinks the weather is fine for being- sick. The other night Glenn.i Crome was with him-and he ha been sick ever, since, so the report is. The. following, girls, spent four nights in the de tension room last j week;. Bee Keller, Beachy Eggeraeyer, Mike (Helen) Murphy, and Madge Whitesell.. Granny- Hodapp is plumb deaf in one ear. and, almost deaf in the other one. Bill Mendenhall is still; writing poems and signing; the. Shakespeare.. Edna.. Mae Rubey now wears a. hair ribbon- and really looks charming is Aunt Matilda says: Did j you ever see anybody, who reminded you of Icabod Crane?

Well, a certain bunch of girls up at hten school have found someone, who reminds them of that, enter-, taining person, and whenever they see Mm coming they all run. His initials are. B. N. ; You ought to have seen:. Aunt Matilda last Thursday. She got up before breakfast and beat rugs; When Thomas Schumaker sneezes he says "Who is she?" We don't krow unless It is Helen Steinbrink. I The other evening James Wentz started out of school with a sign on his -back which said "Wanted, a Wife. I had one but she kicked me out.'" Whether he found one or, not I we don't know, but the sign didn't stay long. Emeline Wagner is- very- amusing. The other day she started . a little' parable in- circulation which caused much- amusement. It was,' "Blessed be, he who sitteth on- a pin for he shall arise. , Eva Sanderson wrote a clever little poem entitled. "Under the Lilac Bush" Did: you ever see Old Maids play tennis?' Well, just watch Aunt Matilda this summer. To keep them fromj a pest. Eat breakfast at Seven I (Or ten or eleven) ; Nor think when it's noon ; My dinner'll be due.

That dinner's too soon. From twelve unto one I can munch on a bun. At one or at two The following is Lucile Tburman's. time table: TIME CARD. On waking I can rise And looe up at the skies; Then pray for Howard To keep him from a coward. The same for all the rest At .three say or four 111 eat a bite more. When the clock's striking five, Some mild exercise. Very brief would be wise, Lest. I: lack appetite For my supper at nisht. Don't go to bed late, Eat. a light lunch at eight; Nor forget to say my prayes For my parents down stairs. Then. Uh a. conscience like mine; You'll be sleeping at nine. Alice. Taylor la the first person to contribute to the Patriotic section of the corner. The following is her essay: THIRD LIBERTY LOAN SPEECH. , Ladies and gentlemen, etc.: I! want to tonight to impress, upon your minds the fundamental provess of buying Liberty Loan Bonds: We will have to back up the Sammies' and this is the only way. we can demoralize the kaiser and his plans. I do not want my talk to be a garrulous one. You knowwe want to. win this war if we don't the Germans will. We will be very discontented over this play if. it doesn't turn out like I want it to. I We want our country to be not infallible. We sure would have a

painful precision if we don't. We must be patriots. I' thank you!

SMILE when you pay your income tax. It means a tear for the Kaiser. .

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HAL POD TAKES HIS JUNIOR PEN IN HAND

EXTRA! EXTRA! EXTRA! At. an enormous, expense yea, verily,; not to say prodigious, stupendous, gigantic expense-we have secured the exclusive services of Count Nonothingsky, of .Hagers' town, Ind.,kto write, an article on the; present! situation in. Russia. For- the - last two years the count has t traveled extensively throughout Wayne and Union counties, has mineled with the crossinerr in the

Tear of r- Hank' Spivvins'' grocery store and other council chambers of- equal- note; has interviewed fourteen President Wilsons twentythree' Secretary Bakers and sixtysir General Perehings in. these parts,, and thus gathered a source of valuable inside information relative to- darkest Russia, and: other phases of the wan Herewith we present to our 2,000,000 subscribers, more or less, mostly' less, the count's remarkable article. (By Count Nonothingsky.) Russia is a i vast country located somewhere' In the- eastern hemisphere. It is nfnch larger than Wayne county, The principal difference between Wayne county and Russia is that in Wayne county we raise a. lot, of farm produce, while in Russia about all. they raise is a lot of hell. Charity organizations have lately been asking what is most needed in. Russia at the present. time. After seeing a picture of a part of the Russian army in the Saturday Leaning Post, I would say, that in my opinion, which is undeniably that of an expert,, that safety razors would come in about as handy as anything I know. Russia, some time ago decided to make the czar work for his living instead of ' sitting around and loafing for steen million dollars per annum like some of the U. S. congressmen do, and so it was decided to have a free country. Rasputin, the monk, was then the real power behind the czar and so several prominent grafters er, that is, : 1 - mean politicians went, to him and asked; him if he would not

kindly shoot himself." Rasputin said, "No, I will not do'any such a thing. Let George do it" And so George did it and. then the czar was given a job as a bricklayer and Russia became a free- country.

WELL, DID THEY GET MARRIED OR NOT? I- clipped, this out: of the- society column of the. Cbarlott, Ky., Chronicle: The lovely and elegant home of that : crown prilice1 of hospitality, the big-hearted: and.' nobie-souled John Wheeler, was a radiant scene of enchanting lovliness, for Cupid had brought one of his . finest offerings to the court of Hymen; for the lovable Miss Alice, the. beautiful daughter of Mr. Wheeler and. his refined-, and, most excellent; wife who is- a lady of rarest charms and sweetest graces; dedicated her life's' ministry to Dr. William H. Osgood; the brilliant and gifted tnd talented son of that ripe scholar and renowned educator; the learned: Professor Osgood; the very able and successful president of the female college.

HEAVY, HEAVY HANGS OVER THY HEAD. I saw something in a small town paper the other day- which rather tickled my funny bone. Here it is: "Lem Smithers had fourteen of Uls chickens stolen from their coop Tuesday night: Marshal Flannagan is on the trail of the thieves." And then directly below that was

a notice that there would be a chicken supper at the Methodist

church Thursday night.

And that reminds me of the colored member of the Baptist congre

gation who got in late for church one Sunday morning and told the

parson he had been detained be

cause his chicken house door came open and ail the chickens went home.

THE IRISH OF IT. Sergeant: Patrick, what would you do if you were charging the

ANY' RELATION TO NAT GOODWIN? From the Lewtsvllle, Ind., Traveler, I clip this ad: "Wanted Job on farm by an ex

perienced" married man. Gurneyj Gray.''

enemy and you ran out of ammunition? Private Pat: Sure and: O'id kape right on firin so as to deceive the enemy, sor.

In writing to a soldier in France,

address your letter to the American E. F." instead of merely using the initials "A. E. F."

I Wish I'd" Lived When Adam Did BY HAL. POD 1 often wish, that I'd. have lived: Upon this earth when- Adam did. He surely was a lucky chap Because be had so soft a snap. He never had to fret or stew, He never had no work-to do. He never bad the draft to fei r

Because he did not register.

And when he tired of being uone

He bought a wife; she cost one bone. You can't buy wives for that today Though some 'aint worth much more, they say He never bad to go to school. Nor had to learn the golden rule. He never had to study nights, Nor had to learn: to read. or write He never had the H. C. L, To worry him, nor had to tell His wife a lie to square himself . For staying-out 'til after twelve. He had it soft, we'll all agree, 'Cause everything on earth was free. I envy him; I wish I'd lived. Upon this earth when Adam did.

HUNS BEGIN TO ARRIVE IN INFERNAL REGIONS;

SUBJECTS RAISE HOWL. INFERNAL REGIONS, Right now (Special). The Huns have begun to arrive here in vast quantities, but.Attila has registered a

protest with his Satanic majesty against the Germans being called

Huns. "I realize that we are murderers of the worst stripe," Attila said in

an interview to our special representative: here, "but I know we

were never as bad as the. present day Germans. The srrival of the Kaiser is daily expected, but Nero and Caesar say they will move out if he is sent here.

HE COULDN'T HIT 'EM. Customer: Say, I bought some moth balls in here and they aren't any good at all.

Clerk: What seems to. be the matter with them? Customer: Well, I've busted half a dozen windows with the blame things, but I 'aint hit a darn moth yet.

Age may bar fro rathe trenches, but it does not block your progress to the Collector's office with your Income Tax.

POOR HOUSE BOUND. A friend of mine who owns a

grocery store said that it kind of gets his goat to see a man drive

by his store in an automobile, when that same man still owes for his grocery bill.

A lot of people who own automobiles these days are poorhouse bound.

WHAT'S THIS GIRL'S ADDRESS, ANYHOW? "I tried to enlist," lied the slacker, who was really a perfect specimen in point of physical ability, "but they repjected me in the army and navy both." "Well, Uncle Sam's example is good enough for me," replied she whom the slacker considered the prettiest girl in , town. "I'll have

to reject you, too."

Don't wish that you could do

something to "serve' while you

still have your Income Tax to pay.

A SHEAR STEAL. Here's one published recently in an exchange that is so good I simply had to steal it: "Torn Callahan got a job working for a railroad. The superintendent told him to go along the line of the railroad looking for washouts. '"And don't be as long winded in your next reports as you have been in the past,' said the superintendent, 'Just report the condition of the roadbed as you find it, and don't use a lot of needless words that are not to the point. Write like a business letter, not like a love letter.' i "So Tom proceded upon his tour of inspection, and when he reached the river where there had been a. serious washout, here is the report he sent back to the superintendent: "'Sir Where the railroad was, the river is."

THE RAMBLINGS OF A RAMBLER. I see by the papers that a ball team composed of Spaniards played a ball team composed of Americans recently. The papers said that three of the Spaninsh ball players were bullfighters. Well, that's not so strange. We've got plenty of those kind of guys right here in our own ball teams. The Kaiser has. been bragging a whole lot about eating his next dinner in Paris. Billy Sunday says that yellow essence of sausage and sauerkraut will be darned lucky if he eats his next Christmas dinner in Berlin or Potsdam. If the Kaiser bestows many more of those iron crosses on his six unscathed sons there is liable to be an iron shortage in Germany. If you happen to have a business engagement on the day of your mother-in-law's funeral, give the business engagement first preference. Business before- pleasure, you know. BEATS ( AND OPERA. Oh, it's easy enough to be cheerful, When you hear the musical din Of a ton or two of black diamonds A-clattering into your bin. Boston Post. But these days ya gotta be keerfuL 'Cause spring is so likely to slump - It's sure mighty hard to be cheerful When you're down to your very last lump. Indiana Times.