Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 43, Number 149, 4 May 1918 — Page 16

' PAGE FOUR

THE RICHMOND PALLADIUM. MAY 4. 1918

How I Earned Money to ' Buy Thrift Stamps I dry dishes for mama, and get a quarter every week. I go to the grocery for Mrs. Taules and I generally get a nickel.' When I was little I would only eat chocolate candy, and would often spend as much as thirty-five cents a week. Now I save this money and buy thrift stamps. I now have thirteen' stamps and Intend to buy a bond. Marie Mackey, 3A, Warner School. Sheet steel of remarkable thinness is now being substituted for linen on the wings of American fighting planes. This steel la the thinnest ever rolled, bel--than an ordinary ... rSneJ Tpr, .- i !Sc of paper and ;eV elU-: A bullet, instead of tearing a jagged hole which rips and spreads until It endangers the lifting power of the wing, will drill a small hole of little consequence.

MY H RIFT STAMPS. I earned my 'money for thrift stamps by selling papers. I like to sell papers very much. I don't eat candy or chew gum. I have joined the lied Cross. I have five thrift stamps. I do not go to as many picture shows as I used to do. Everyone should buy Liberty bonds and thrift stamps. Helen Hancock, Warner School.

SELLS PAPERS AND BUYS THRIFT STAMPS. I sell papers every night - One night is was raining so hard that I thought that I could not ' ... j the terrible rain. ' . t;1L.m"! tn en . .. -t last 1 decided lo 1 irslSed along calling 'PaFtfS," A man called to me and bought a paper. He gave me twenty-five cents. I started to give him back the change, but he told me to keep the quarter. I sold enough more papers to make another quarter. I bought two thrift stamps. Wilson Morgan, Warner School.

All too soon, we fear, American boys suffering from 6hell shock will be coming home. It is important to protect them irom new shocks. The British have found tha con-' valescent shell shock patients who have attended parties or meetings where flashlight photographs have been taken have suffered violent relapses. If you know that there is a shell shock victim near you avoid all sudden noises, particularly explosions.

and body. Children should either be provided with such a meal at school or get one at home.

HOW I EARNED MONEY. One day 1 went to the store for a girl and she gave me a nickel. She sent me for ice cream. I have twenty-five cents now. I am P"'-

iu wan, uuiu i sei rr ,

then I am

sti:.

y Cents, and

U-vinj "b Duwy two thrift

-iHD?; Ruhv Thnmna !Tl Wnr.

- f of adequate luncheons re? children has been brought out by the physical examinations of millions of Americans by draft board doctors. The United States Public Health Service in studying the causes for rejections for physical defects has found that malnutrition during childhood is the cause of much physical weakness among young men. School children need warm, well-balanced luncheon if they . are to grow strong in mind

GIRL WASHES DISHES FOR MONEY. On Monday I wash the dishes. Mother pays me me for it. When mother cleans house I help her. I also run errands for the neighbors. In this way I earn money for thrift stamps. Vera Romberg, 4A, Warner School.

A THRIFT STAMP STORY. One day John's mother told him that the woman next door wanted

to see him. He went to her house at once. The woman said, "John, go to the bakery for me and I will give you something." When he came bacv 'tne woman Baid "H,ere 18 Wirier for you." , Jonn. tc3 It home and showed it tfluls mother. She asked him what he was going to do with it and he said that he would buy a thrift stamp. Hazel Weaver, 6B, Warner School.

A THRIFT STAMP STORY.' 1 asked my brother if he would give me a quarter to buy a thrift stamp. He said that he would. I have twelve thrift stamps. I am working for a war Bavings certificate. I will help the government win the war. Tlllie Abbott, 5G, Warner School.

"When Duty wnispers low, Thou must; The Youth replies, 'I can." Emerson.

HAL POD TAKES HIS JUNIOR PEN IN HAND

---

. JOHNNY TOLD THE TRUTH. , Johnny had played hookey from school and father got wind of it. "Johnny, where were you thia afternoon?" sternly asked father. "I went down to the ball game and peaked through a knot hole," confessed the truthful Johnny. ."I'll have to whip you for playing hookey from school. I don't know what you could expect to see peaking through a knot hole at the baaeball park," - "Well, I saw you, pa, and you was hollering like everything for somebody to kill the umpire."

WE DON'T BLAME HIM. The other night little seven-year-old' Billy went to bed without sayinghis prayer His mother was surprised. : "Why, Billy,- said she, "aren't you- going to say your prayers?" ."No, I -'aint," said little Billy. "You don't say your prayers and naa don't lay bis prayers, and I'm getting tired praying for the whole family."

SHE LEARNED IT AT HOME. A little girl in one of the schools .was asked to count for a visitor the other day. She was only a little tot and the teacher thought she would display the results of her eCorts to teach the children. So th little girl counted: "One, two, chree, four, fve, six, seven, eight, nlae, ten, jack queen, king."

THE RAMBLING8 OF A RAMBLER. There have recently come from

the western front reports that

Germans would stick their heads above the trenches to see if there

were any Yankees with the Allied

troops. A lot of them found out, but the only way they were able

to let their- comrades know it was

through spiritual communication.

Farmers herabouts say that a lot of these city chaps who are do

ing their little "bit" along agricul

tural lines by working on the "arms, must have learned the farming businees In a correspondence

school '

A fellow told me the other day

that he was saving cigarette cou-

KB8 for a pretty girl Since that

ume I've looked in all the coupon

'ooks I could find, but I didn't see

where they were giving any pretty -irls for cigarette coupons. I vender how many coupons it takes

io get one.

TK A a f la rtli t an ai4tat whn

vv. j .vu v at, .iu. rt xm j once painted a bunch of grapes so lateral that they fooled birds who ame and pecked them. But our

'oirag jucnmona gins aon i seem 'o have the genius that artist pos-

. CMKU. Did yon ever' know that over In Oiacinnatl they have meat markets

vhere they sell horse meat just

i he same as other kinds? O lots of Cincinnati people eat it, too. A nan would have to be pretty careful though when he was eating

lone sieaK, oecause ir Bomeooay should happen to say "Whoa," the lame thing might get stack in his throat.

WHAT SATAN WROTE THE KAISER BY HAL POD Dear Bill: I write these lines to you; These lines of praise for work done well. No other man I know could do What you have done to make earth hell. I was the master, now I'm slave; I'll have to bid my Job goodbye. A man who can murder innocent babes Is more of a devil than I. My thanks I give to you. dear Bill ; Give credit where the same is due. No other man I know could fill My job in hell as well as you. That's why I'm going to abdicate My throne down here and say farewell. 'Tis destined by the hand of fate That I turn to you the keys of hell. I've held this job down here so long. It gives me pain, old pal, to quit. It may be that I'm doing wrong To leave my post in this fiery pit. But I am going to take the chance. They need down here some tortures new To make them yell with pain, and dance. It's just the job for a fiend like you. That's why I write this note today; I tell you, Bill, I'm on the level. I guess that's all I have to say,

And so I'll sign my name,

THE DEVIL

LIFE'S LITTLE ANNOYCNCES. You know, if there Is one thing that gets my goat quicker ' than anything else on earth it is to be reading a newspaper and to some across a story In which the headline has something to say about the thrilling experience of some local woman, or possibly the narrow .escape of some local man. Well, that begins to look like it was going to be a pretty good news story so I go ahead and read it. Then pretty soon I find out I'm reading about Carter's liver pills or Dr. illem's salve or something like that, and well, that gets my nanny. How about you?

A GOOD IDEA. If you don't see what you want, ask for it. If you don't get it when you ask for it, take it. '

KNOW TEXAS O'REILLY? Did you ever hear of Major Edward S. O'Reilly, better known as Texas O'Reilly?- He is quite a successsful author and recently wrote a fine book for young people under the title - "Roving and Fighting" O'Reilly has wandered all over the world. One time he told me that he left his home in Texas when he was a young fellow with just 15 cents in his pocket. He said that he made a trip around the world and had adventures every place he went. "And when I got back home," said O'Reilly, "I had 25 cents in my pocket. No more no less."

Which seems to be just what the gentleman in the picture is doing.

LIKE A BABY LOVES ITS MOTHER. A headline in the Shelbyville (Ind.) Republiean.regarding a local

boy with the U. S. navy, declared:

'Like the navy as a cat likes

milk."

HOW TIME DOTH FLY. Are you Interested in baseball? Well, do you know that just ten

years ago Christy Mathewson was

in his prime as a pitcher, Johnny Evers was the greatest second baseman in the world, the Cubs were champions of the world, and nobody had ever beard of Clarence Rowland? Time flies we'll all agree.

The tender-hearted Dolly Dream, Said: "Have a heart, I beg! "Ob, mother, please don't whip that cream, "And please don't beat that, egg." Luke McLuke. I must agree with Luke McLuke, And IU add right in here; Oh, please, my friend don't shoot the chutes, And please don't kill that beer. Hal Pod.

A RIDDLE Riddley, rlddley, randa row, My mother gave me some, seeds to sow; The seeds were black, the ground was white. Riddley, riddley, randy row. Answer: A newspaper. Mary Jane Schillinger.

NEWS ITEMS CLIPPED FROM THE PUMPKIN CENTER JAG. Eb Hutchins, who has been up to New York for the last month, was back in town the other day and tried to make some of the boys believe he had a job in a tonsorial parlor up there. It 'aint 80 though, because Eb's old man said he was working in a barber shop. A traveling man was in town last week from Chicago and Cy Spudkins showed his ignorance by asking hfm who was running the hotel up there now. Cy ought to know there must be at least three or four hotels in a town as big as Chicago. Fritz Swartsenburger who applauded a picture-of the Kaiser at a moving picture show the other night, will be buried tomorrow. Zeke Spivvins has been quite a frequent visitor to Eaton, Ohio, since the saloons went out of Pumpkin Center. Lem Walters has pui h sign up in the dining room at the hotel which says, "No noisy liquids served here." Wonder if Lem means soup. .

ONE ON TEDDY. Theodore Roosevelt was out in Colorado on a hunting trip a few years ago, and left the camp one afternoon all alone, boasting that he would return before night with a nice black bear.

v

He returned alright, so the story is told by a certain senator who was with him on the trip, but he came back running at a forty mile gait and directly behind him came a big black bear. Teddy was puffing when he gained the camp, but the bear didn't stop, following him right into the tent where one of the party shot old bruin full of holes. After it was all over they began to jibe T. R. about his thrilling experience. "What was the matter?" asked one of the party. "Why didn't you shoot the bear?" "There wasn't anything the matter,' 'replied the ex-president "Did you think I wanted to shoot him and have to carry him into camp when I conld just ss well run him in?"

A SOCIAL CALL. From the society column of the Liberty (Ind.), Express, I clip the following item: "Dr. Snyder called here to see a horse at Charley Stevens' Wednes

day morning." ,

WAR DEFINITIONS. This is my own little dictionary. Noah Webster didn't have any thng on me. GERMAN SPY: A man who buys Liberty bonds and waves an American flag in public, and concocts poisons and grinds glass in private. MONEY: That which talk, thus affording every loyal American an opportunity to tell the Kaiser what they think of him. MEANEST MAN ON EARTH: The Kansas farmer who refused to buy a Liberty bond because he said he bad too heavy an income tax to pay. RUSSIA: A country where they raise a 16t of hell, but very little in the way of food products. ASBESTOS: The kind of stuff the Kaiser's uniform will be made out of in the next world. MAN 'O WAR: The kind of a husband many Red Cross nurses will come back with. THRIFT STAMPS: Something that will take the germ out of German. FLIES: Very dirty and dealy insects; probably pro-German. LOYALTY: That which is the best policy these days. FERDINAND: The clown simp of Germany. LIBERTY BOND: A safe bet

LOWBROW STUFF. (By Our Office Boy.) Golf is a game in which you chase a little white ball all over a good part of the United States of America. It is played by rich men who are too old to chase anything else around chickens for instance. To play golf you have got to be rich. It is a game for men who go to work at 9 o'clock in the morning or later. The later a man goes to work in the morning and the sooner he quits work in the afternoon the bigger salary he gets. The guys who go to work at 7 o'clock in the morning and work ten hours per day are the guys who don't have to pay no income tax. Which is one thing about life I don't understand very well.

I know some guys that are so crooked they would steal a dead fly from a blind spider, and those kind of guys are the kind that usually make the golf course in the least number of drives. Those are also the kind of guys off of which I made the most money when I was a caddy. I guess I'm kind of a grafter myself so I better not say no more.

HOW I EARNED MONEY. I dry dishes for my mather. Sometimes I sell newspapers. She gave me twenty-five cents to buy a Thrift Stamp. I work in my garden too. Naomi Osborn, 2B.