Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 43, Number 143, 27 April 1918 — Page 16

PAGE FOUR

THE RICHMOND PALLADIUM. APRIL 27. 1918

AUNT MOLLY GETS INTERESTING LETTER Dear Aunt Molly: I bate to write, you this letter for fear of annoying you, but the time has now come when I must auk you a very serious question, the contemplation of which has caused me many nights of restlessness, and many days of anxiety. Tou will understand why I write you regarding this matter of such - importance when I tell you many homes end even lives have been upset by similar troubles, still I feel that you should know the worst at once tor in all sincerity it may mean life or death to me. I dare not communicate my state of mind to my friends for-as you know they are not to be trustel these days. So In my distress I appeal to you knowing your sincere feeling toward me. I know I am asking a great deal of you, but while I have confidence in you and have considered this carefully, will ask you to put aside your social joys and devote at least a part of your time to the question that interests me so much. -1 dare not Bign my name for as you know , other eyes besides your may see this. . Now 1 once for all I ask you to tell me in the name of the friendship you bear me; Do you think that Jeff will ever be as tall as Mutt? Kathryn Ruckman, Columbia City.

BOY WORKS FOR MONEY , FOR -THRIFT STAMPS I make my money in' many ways. I go to the grocery for mother, help clean the attic, hoc in the garden, ut .-potatoes, r I save my money that I used, to spend for candy. I buy thrift stamps. I don't want to ye a sleeker and every thing that we boys and girls can do will help Uncle Sam win the war. Melvin C. Quigley, Baxter School.

CONGO TO BE IN RICHMOND

"Congo" is a hippopotamus with a history. He is the first animal of his kind to see the light of day in America. He was born in the Bronx Zoo In New York four years ago and is the offspring of "Calif"

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known from the Atlantic to the Pacific and who entertain millions of travelers who visit the Zoo every year. At present "Congo" is a star

5 feature in the menagerie of the IT .Tnhn Rnhinsnn flrrna ivHrh

comes to Richmond. May 1. He

was purchased by Mr. Robinson

two years ago at a cost of $3800. The sale was greatly bewailed by the children of New , York and some seven thousand of them signed petitions and presented them to the Zoo Commissioners, requested that the sale be annulled. This, of course, could not be done, and "Congo" remained with the Circus. The hippopotamus ia as. kind and as gentle as a kitten and spends most of his time in a private bath that has been built into his cage. The water In this bath ia changed three times a day. "Congo" eats huge balls made of damp bran and bread

Jr; and consumes pounds of hay ev

ery day.

Boy Earns Money for Thrift Stamps . The way 1 earned money to buy Thrift Stamps is that I take a little child to kindergarten and I get a quarter a week for it. I earned another quarter by washing and drying dishes, bringing in coal, and emptying ashpans and doing other things. I could have more Thrift Stamps if I did not buy a new suit of clothes every year. I beat rugs when mother cleans her house and earn a little money that way.

I work In ihe garden, but not for money, for food. I havo fourteen Thrift Stamps, and will soon have another. 1 have to get two more Thrift Stamps before I have a Baby Bond. ' I do not go to picture shows any more and do not buy much candy. I am going to sell some paper and rags pretty soon. Mother has been sick and I do not get to play very much. I have to work. Harold Thomas, Baxter.

French postal authorities are experimenting with American automaticand semi-automatic telephones.

WHEN KINGS ARE SCARCE. King, George, of England, once made a journey to his native kingdom of Hanover, ana stopped at a small village in Holland. Here he waited for a change of horses. He felt hungry and asked for two or three eggs, for those the price charged was a hundred florins. This would be about forty or fifty dollars. "How is this?" said the king, "Eggs must be scarce." "Excuse me, sir," replied the waiter. "Eggs are plentiful. It is kings that are scarce." Robert D. Lewis, 4B, Starr School.

THE BATTLEFIELD ' Continued From Page One. Aeroplanes, balloons, and heavy siege guns are in action. Scouts are out. Signals are given from the signal stations. Now, a shell strikes a German railway, throwing the engine into a crater end completely destroying the track. The German air craft gun is in action. Their scouts are hurrying about on bicycles. Many men and horses are shot down. Dead and wounded soldiers are lying in thell holes. . Thus, many and many a battle is fought for us. Then is it not our duty to do all we can to back our soldiers, who are sacrificing their ivs for us? Exeryone knows how to do this. Buy as many "Liberty Bonds" and "War Saving Stamps" as possible. Let us also thank Jenkins and

Co. for giving such a good reproduction of the actual battle -field of France., It shows that they are trying to Impress upon our minds the seriousness and necessity of our buying "Liberty Bonds." Luella Mas

ters, 230 North Eighteenth street,

7A grade.

GEN. GRANT'S TREE IN JAPAN. If we were to go to the Philippines we might have to stop at Nagasaki, Japan, for coal. If there were a chance, we should surely want to visit the park for in 1879, General U. S. Grant and his wife stopped there on their travels and we should want to see the two trees they planted in the park. There is an inscription which reads thus: "At the request of Governor Utsuma Tadakalem, Mrs. Grant and I each planted a tree in the Nagasaki Park. I hope that both trees may prosper, grow large, live long and in this growth, prosperity and long life be emplematic of the future of Japan. "U. S. Grant, "June 22, 1879. F. A. B." Gail Hurst. St. Mary School.

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HAL POD TAKES HIS JUNIOR PEN IN HAND

LAUGH AND THE WORLD LAUGHS WITH YOU. Annt Molly has asked that I take

my pen in hand. She hopes that I may be able to tickle your fnnny bone, to help you drive doll care away, at least for the nonce. As for ; nyaelf I hope that her hopes are "not hopeless If my purpose is accomplishedwell and good. If It falls well, laugh anyhow for Aunt Molly's eake. You have no doubt beard the old aphorism, "Laugh and the world laughs with you; weep and you weep alone." II anything funny has ever happened to you, tell me about it. Mebbe somebody else would like to laugh at it, too. It you would like to make a saggesUon don't hesitate to do so. Small farors will be thankfully accepted and If meritorius will most certainly be acted npon. This Is a dark hour for all of us; a dark hour, in fact, for all the world. But it may be that this is t&at darkest hour which precedes Um dawn of day. So let us try to make the best of It Let us face the situation with smile upon our lips, with a laugh ia ocr eyes. Victory is bound to come for oars Is ihe righteous cause. So let us one and all Keep Smiling.

Mary had a little Iamb, You've heard that fact before. But have you heard She passed her plate, ; And had a little more?

THEY OUGHT TO BE BITING SOON. QCRe soon I'm goin' a flshin' Down in that old hole, Where so long I've been a wishin' To take my bamboo pole. Ami I'm sure they'll be a bitin. "Cause I'd think that they would be Bo hungry they'll start fightin To grab my bait, by gee!

COME, HAVE A SMILE By HAL POD Come, my friend, have a smile with me, Let's banish care and sorrow. Let's end the day with a smile or two?) 'Twill help us start the morrow. Tis hard to smile if things go wrong But still it's worth the while. It makes more bright the darkest day, So come, my friend, let's smile. It 'aint no use to grumble, friend ; It's no use to complain. Just take things with a smile or two, Be it sunshine, cloud or rain. For grumbling never stopped the rain, It never will, I know. It never caused the sun to shine Nor caused the clouds to go. I'll try, my friend, whate'r betides, Your funny bone to prod ; " I'll try to drive dull care away : Come, have a laugh with Pod.

"I see the Germans are beginning to call our Yankee boys 'dirty doss." "Yes, so I have heard. Believe me, a few of those Huns are going to be dying of hydrophobia pretty soon, too."

"What Is your Idea of a sure sign of spring." "B. V. D."

"Mister, what can I buy with a penny that has got a hole in it?" asked the little boy in a bakery shop. "I guess you can buy a doughnut," replied the congenial clerk.

HEADLINE8 WE'D LOVE TO ; SEE IN THE NEWSPAPERS. Peace is Declared. High Prices Decline. Kaiser Hangs Himself. Yankees March Into Berlin. Tar and Feather Pro-German.

Liberty -Wedding

BELLS.

Cow Village Fire Curfew

Telephone.

FAMOUS FICTION. Ill pay you tomorrow. You're the only girl I ever loved.

THE RAMBLINGS OF A RAMBLER. A North Dakota small town paper says, "This town is enjoying its first strike in many years." Where do they get that enjoy stuff? Love is said to be blind, but the best eye specialists the world has ever known is marriage. It's alright to "Keep Your Eye on the Girlie You Love," but most fellows keep their eyes on a few others, too. Man wants but little here below, says an old adage. Meaning little of work, perhaps.

. A man can't kick if he's got the gout. Would you call a negro mail carrier a blackmailer? Some men are well to do and some are bard to do. About the only place a man likes to take a back seat is in church.

HOUSEHOLD HINTS. How to Make Sponge Cake: Borrow whatever you may need from your neighbors to make any kind of a cake, and whatever kind of a cake It makes is a sponge cake. The best way to plug up holes in Swiss cheese is with putty. Never spank a child for swallowing a bullet I might go off. The best place . to raise bread dough is in the garden.

I wish I had an aeroplane, I'd fly right o'er Berlin. I'd like to drop a bomb or two Right on the Kaiser's bean. Or if I only had a gun I'd take the train, I think, And get off when it bit Berlin, And shoot this Kaiser gink.

The dough I've spent on thee, dear heart. Has well nigh busted me. I count each buck with which I part, And there see poverty.

A SMILE OR TWO IN JOKE FORM. "Mamma, do little birds have barber shops? asked the four-year, old tot, who was just at the age when Young America begins to

grow observant "Why no, my dear," mother replied. "Why do you ask such a question?" "Well, mamma, I saw a little bit of a baby bird, and it didn't have no feathers at all, so I thought mebbo it was shaved."

"Did you , hear Mr. Bryan's speech on prohibition last night?" "Yes" "What did you think of it?" "I thought it was pretty dry."

BITS OF LAUGHTER DONE INTO PROSE

I saw a man go Into an insurance Office today and Take out a fire Insurance policy. I guess there'll Probably be a Fire in town Pretty soon. The hen that lays One egg per day Eggserts Itself. It's tough luck When you pay a Nickel for a shine And then It rains. I wonder why we See so many Signs which say Walk in. Surely no chump Will ever try to Ride in. Looks like this Was going to be A tough season For Kaieers. The best way to Swat the Kaiser Is with a Liberty Bond. What do I care About expenses? I've got a whole Lot of 'em.

The best place to keep limberger cheese is in the woodshed.