Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 43, Number 26, 12 December 1917 — Page 6

xHE RICHMOND PALLADIUM AND SUN-TELEGRAM, WEDNESDAY, DEC. 12, 1917.

PAGE SIX

THE RICHMOND PALLADIUM AND SUN-TELEGRAM

Published Every Evening: Except Sunday, by . . Palladium Printing Co. R. G. Leeds. Editor. E. H. Harris, Mgr. Palladium Building, North Ninth and Sailor Streets. Entered at tho Post Orfice at Richmond, Indiana, as Sec- '. ond Class Mail Matter.

MbMIIKH OK THK ASSOCIATED PRESS the Asfoolatoc) Prs la exclusively entitled to the use f'r ) i publication of all nws dispatches credited to it or not otherwise creuited In thl3 paper and also the local news published herein. All rights of republication of special disI'.'itchus herein are also reserved.

The Military Situation on the West Front Military critics are expecting a gigantic attack un the west front. They believe that the German general staff, utilizing divisions released from the Russian front, is ready for a mighty offensh e against the French and British. The purpose of the thrust, so military critics believe, is to cripple the Allies before the full weight of the. United States is launched. The American people may steel themselves in time for the new offensive. Germany is still a strong military nation. It has sprung enough .surprises in this war to justify the expectation of a renewed attempt to smash the Allies on the west front. ' Miliary critics will not be surprised if the new offensive is hurled at us before this month closes. One critic, pointing to the counter-attacks of the Germans at Cambrai where they have nullified to ascertain degree the gains of Gen. Byng, asks where Germany obtained the reserves for her mass attacks. He points out that they came from the eastern front and from man power carefully concealed and conserved behind the lines on the west front. ' ' , They were not withdrawn from the Italian campaign. , In fact, he holds that few Germans are involved in this offensive and that the greater part' of these troops are made up of Austrians and other-Teutonic allies. If his interpretation is correct, we are face to face with a situation that does not hide its menace. We may expect to read any day that the Kaiser has hurled another drive against the western front. We may expect this month yet to read of sanguinary fighting. The seriousness of this problem ought to intensify our preparations for the conflict and speed up our work. The United States has hard fighting ahead of it. The issue depends upon us. Our eijthusiasm must be backed up with men and munitions, transported to France, and readv for the fray. - We have a man's size job ahead. Let us be prepared.

Doing Their Bit The American people have not refused anything that is needed for the war. The Government asked them for 1,500,000

men, and the men are in the camps or on the fighting line. , , ... -i It asked for ships, and $2,000,000,000 worth of ships are under construction. ', It asked for money, and money has been forthcoming with absolutely no stint. And now it is asking for food, and out of their wealth the American people will give food as generously and effectively as they have given everything else needed in connection with vigorous prosecution of the war. Food makes the most direct war contribution, apart from men one that touches every home every day. a , Next to men it calls for the greatest changes in normal life and personal habits.

The American people have changed their

money habits and are buying bonds; they have changed their ways of thinking about ships, and are building a merchantile marine; they have changed their views of peace, and are giving their men for the establishment of a real wjrld peace. And they are changing their habits in food. They eat corn instead of wheat, poultry :.r.stead of beef and pork, and are saving sugar and fats. . ' It has taken, a little longer to organize this war contribution of food, chiefly because "the matter was more complicated than other war contributions, and had to be brought home to more people. But it has been brought home, and the food has begun to move to Europe. In this great war work the American people are not going to be found wanting. James H. Collins.

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A Buffalo man stopped a newsboy in New York, saying: "See here, son. 1 want to find the Blank National

Things That We Laugh At Rob Wagner in the Saturday Evening Post. THE intrinsic" humor possessed by-inanimate objects is a study in itself. A person has but to lift up a string of sausages to make us smile. There must be some curious association of ideas that has always made of sausages a favorite prop fur the comedian. The

popularity of spaghetti as a laugh provoker probably. lies

in the great difficulty of eating it with dignity. Because of some strange significance, lawnmowers and baby carriages are potential of much mirth. Inanimate objects are not the only facetious things in life; among the fruits and vegetables we find rare comedians. We have a complete flora and fauna of comedy that every director is supposed to know. The edible props of pleasantry are the cabbage, prune and onion; while among the animals, the jackass and the mule get the longest laughs, though I believe the goat produces the strongest. We had a stupid director who thought because a Shetland pony offered such a tremendous contrast to a mule

he could hitch the two together and get a lot of laughs. It cost a bunch of money to convince this unanalytical chump that people regard these diminutive horses much as they do beautiful children; they are too sweet and cute to be subjected to the slightest indignity. Sheer beauty is never funny.

bank. I'll give you a half dollar if you

direct me to it." - . With a grin the boy replied: "All right, come along," and he led the man to a building half a block away. The man paid the promised fee, remarking, however, "that was half a dollar easily earned." v -' "Sure!" responded the lad. "But you mus'nt fergit that bank directors is paid high in Noo Yawk." . The little maid of all work came to fetch Baby John, as it was his bedtime. " " "Oh, let me peep at him in bed," gushed Mrs. Sweet. A few minutes later she was taken In to see little John between the sheets. ' "Gracious! Why do you have such a high bed for your little son?" she gasped. "So we can .hear him when he falls out. You have no idea what heavy sleepers my husband and I are," said his mother. "Pa, what is meant by the 'psychological moment'?" "Have you never seen your mother ask me for a check son?" "Oh, yes, pa." "And did you ever notice that she always waits until I have had a good dinner and she has brought my slippers and has pulled my easy chair around to the light and struck a match for my cigar?" "Yes, pa." . "Well, that is what Is known as the physchological moment for making a domestic touch."

should be spared to prevent suffer ing among those who were never sit' uated to lay In a supply. . This division of one of God's blessing should not be prevented by any selfish human motives. When it comes to the point where there is not enough coal to go around, to prevent untold suffering with attendant

sickness, we should close . every school and church in the city until the danger arising from this shortage is past, places of amusements also, should be included. This fuel should be sold to those who could pay, and given to those who could not. I am sure that by sacrificing for a short time "the' conveniences com. pare and the notable advance in civil-

zation these institutions are credited" would find its compensation, in that glorious good feeling toward ali fellow men by those who were benefited. Civilization would be advanced, and progress toward that great brotherhood of man we talk so much about in our churches would be notably advancedEDWARD CALLGROVE. SIMMS.

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The Forum

(All articles for this column must not exceed 300 words. Contributors must sign their names, although the name will be withheld by the management at the request of the writer. Articles having no name attached will be thrown into the waste basket.)

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12ov Z-Houlion

SLICE O' UFE my kid was nosing

FOOT, THK MADE ONE.

A LITTLE The othM-" day

around a toy store. Which, in itself, i3 a prodigal habit. He discovered a military tank toy,

yiit?ji. wl f r"vervthin machine. i

riU lllllle UUIIlt: Oliu turn mc; n'- wuv like it If 1 would give him ono for Christmas. He said they were only little tin things. The rifxt day I promised him that ho could have one. . 1 stopped on my way homo to buy it. Thoy were 'very cute and 1 didn't bh'.mc the hid. 1 ca'lod the Ziegfeld beauty with the white nose And I asked: "How much for the tank?" "The smallest one is $16," r.he replied.

"But we have some real good ones fori

$39.95." Tho $16 one was about n fnot long. Tho only tank my kid will tr.ct w'U be tho bathtub, fc'anta Claus is a gay deceiver.

ALLIES ARE TO WHICH ONE?

The correspondents in Russia nowadays are not at all hampered by facts,

lor the reason that there avc no facts.

s a guess.

Another troublesome question: "If the allies draft all their subjects now in America, who will build the railroads, chine the shoes and wait table?"

times is that the "hero worshipers" Lack home are evidently not going to be able to make a damtool out of Pershing. In New York they have discovered J United States senator who wears $20 shirts. Inasmuch as those shirts are fur

nishing much food for thought, why I

not refer the whole matter to Hoover? The English have just captured Tadpole Copse. And wc have always been led to believe that froglegs are a characteristic French dish. The charges against LaFillette will not be pressed. What we need is more good able-bodied tai)ors in congress.

FUEL SHORTAGE. Information obtained from all reliable sources, convinces us there is a greater output of coal than was ever known, but notwithstanding this, the demand caused by the war is causing a tremendous shortage for domestic use. At this period this shortage of fuel will continue indefinately, possibly growing worse as winter advances. Without any doubt whatever if we ane to have plenty of zero weather "and this is indicated" some plan must be formed that will insure the greatest amount of service from every ton of coal that is here or can be secured. I positively assert that no effort

S3S

NO GOOD - can possibly come from wearing cheap glasses INJURY WILL Come and let us explain the difference. DR. GROSVENOR, Oculist City Light Bldg. 32 So. 8th.

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A headline says

Are Saving Food." How well we know it. they begin serving it?

"The Restaurants i

When will

One of the propitious si?ns of the

In Syracuse it is said to be a mict'etneaoor to wash Fords in bathtubs, as the grease runs down th ? pipes and damages the sewer system. They are going to run a through f.!eeper from Washington to Mexico City. .Who? Senator Stone? ACCORDING TO PLANS NOW ON

PHOTOS

2 MAIM ST RICHMOND INfA

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No. 154

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Kxiott Amrnrisiira envies lire.

at Golisconri Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday

Batteries Need Special Care 'in .-Winter WHETHER YOU RUN YOUR CAR OR STORE if

Remember that your battery will FREEZE if left in the car in a discharged condition, also that if will become discharged if left standing for a few weeks. If you remove the battery to a warm place it will become sulphated which is as bad or worse than freezing. Let us care for your battery this winter and save you trouble and expense. We make a specialty of winter storage on batteries. CALL TELEPHONE 2826

'4 ; Richmond Electric l - 5 Compaimy - HOS-llOT MAIN STREET & ' "1