Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 42, Number 311, 10 November 1917 — Page 11

PAOB TimiBlB How Marbles Are Made ' Most "marbles" are made of clay. "Glass alleys of course, are made of glass; while agate, to dome extent enters into the manufacture of special and finer "marbles." First rolls of clay are deposited evenly in a trough, and a workman cuts them into cubes, according to the order. The cutting is done with a saw. Seven rolls of clay will, generally speaking, form over 200 little cubes; and It Is from these cubes that the "marbles" are rolled. When the cubes hare been cut, they are placed in an ordinary tin pan and turned over to the workers generally girls. A handful of cubes is picked up and these are placed, one at a time, in a groved plaster-of-Paris mold. The slse of the groove depends upon the slse of the "marble" to be made. When there is one clay cube In each groove a plaster oblong block Is adjusted In position on top of the cubes and pushed forward and backward until the clay cubes become round and are rolled true. This operation takes but little time. The top block is lifted and the clay "mar ble" In its "green" state, Is placed in a tray. A worker who has acquired skill In her work can, it Is said, make from 25,000 to 30,000 a day, ("Marbles" are counted by weight? also by the cubic toot. The small clay "marble," measuring nlne-slxteeftUi of an Inch in diameter, weighs 9 pounds to the thousand, and Is colored at the rate of 200,000 every eight minutes. Old Maids' Corner

THE RICHMOND PALLADIUM, NOV. 10. 191T.

(Their Latest Gossip). Old Maid Whitesell is very fond of Beechnut chewing gum. She chews a stick every day when she has It. Ruth Smith, Juanita Detmar and two of their little neighbors went to a show last Sunday. Naughty children; they are not showing the true old maid spirit at all. Oue day Madge ; Whitesell was lecturing and she ended up by saying "Yes, sir, I'm going to be an old maid." And Katherine Reid, who was with her, said, "Well, you can be, but I'm not going to be one." but, who can tell? Thomas Shoemaker has begun to receive Christmas gifts rather early. The other day he brought an awfully pretty silk handkerchief to school. We wonder if some loving auntie gave it to him. Old Maid Whitesell Is thinking of getting a silver collar for her cat and tie a ribbon on that to lead him through town. Who knows but what sho might start a new fad. Prof. Englebert didn't know Fords weigh as much aa they do. The other day he tried to knock one onto the side walk, but judging from Prof.'s appearance, it looks as though he got the worst of it. " Ruth Smith and Juanita Detmer were making some very liberal bets last Tuesday on the election for mayor. They bet a whole dish of ice cream and Ruth got it. Granny Hodapp would make a

charming hostess. She can just look at a person and make them smile. Uncle Dud. smiles about all the time. NOTICE: GREAT AUCTION The three old maids are going to move and so they have decided to have a sale. Everything imaginable is to be sold. The auction is to be held at the corner of 14th and North C streets, at 2:00 p. m. Saturday November 17, 19.17. Auctioneer is Aunt Matilda Whitesell. Everything to be sold cheap. Be sure and come Bring pennies and pins. Story of Edna May Ruby's Eventful Live. Told by Old Maid Whitesell. The celebrated and well beloved Edna May Ruby was born in Dallas, Texas. Her father owned a large ranch, and even when quite small she was a very, skillful bare back rider. Even now you can see her riding about town on her dog, "General." When seven years old her family moved to San Francisco, Calif., and while there our heroine learned to swim and row a boat. When she was ten they moved to Richmond, Indiana. She always declared she was going to be an old maid, but when she was seventeen she unfortunately lost her mental poise and married a very wealthy young gentleman from New York City. After they had been married several years, Mr. - Lasky, (for that was the lucky man's name' lost all his money. and he and his wife and three children moved to a little village called Chester, not far from our heroine's former home. Now if you wish to see our former Old Maid Ruby, just go to Chester and very likely you will eee her bending, over a wash tub or washing her baby's face. SUSIE'S HALLOWE'EN Susie wouldn't mind her mother and went out to play on Halloween when her mother told her not to. When the curfew rang Susie's mother and father asked two neighbors to dress like ghosts and run after Susie. When she came along they started arter her and she ran in the house crying and told her mother and father the story. They said as long as she didn't mind they would run after her, and she was good ever after. Your friend, Maida Van Voorhis, 9 years, Joseph Moore School.

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ISSUED CONTINUALLY HICKSVILLE PEOPLE WILL SPREAD GOSSIP! We find that the reason Postmaster Gibbs is so slow sorting out the mail because be reads every postal card. - "Why wouldn't a drunkless Saturday night go along with the other BDftcial davs." said Uncle Law rence .Zarrow, as he was about to mnbfi a move while nlavinc cneCK era yesterday at Ebbs barber shop. Undo Ezra Boggs made a remark yesterday that a married man would never see such a thing as a beefless day. The limit was reached when .Wil lie Spivans bought his mother a hatchet for her birthday, so she could cut the kindling. Miss Lucy Corntossel, society editor of the Breeze and owner of a flivver has announced to friends over at Bean Ridge that she is go ing to marry Hickory Bend's Ice man. ' -.' Squire Ez Zarrow was in the hos pital two weeks after he attempted to blow out the gas in a New York hotel. Squire was not used to gas. Uncle Bert Smiley was the only man in our village that ever got the best of his wife by getting the last word and it has been rumored that he died quite suddenly last week, after drinking a cup of coffee prepared by his "frow." Miss Matilida Cornshoks has joined the Red Cross and thinks she is going to get a "man of war" as a husband. She Is thirty-eight years old now. "The Breath of An Onion." will be at the Ka-La-Doots theater next week, also a 6ad play, "Percy's Wrist Watch angle," played in ten parts. All patrons who are staying away on account of the music are asked to come back as a new piano player has been employed. FOOLISH QUESTIONS Kind Lady (to wounded soldier) How did you come to be wounded, my good man? Wounded Soldier By a shell. Kind Lady Did it explode? Wounded Soldier (very bored) Oh, no! It came up behind me and bit me. Punch. The Tale of Two Bugs Two little bugs went strolling by; Strolling by a wooded glen And down from a tree, maybe a birch. They were spied by a Jonny wren. Said the gentleman bug to the lady bug, "I fear some one is spying." Said the lady bug to the gentleman bug, "My dear, you are very trying." Then , the Sir Jenny wren that was up so high Spied the two bugs that were walking, And he buckled his belt, for he needed a meal, And flew for the bugs that were' talking.' The two little bugs crawled under a leaf And stayed there all that night; And as far as I know they're still there yet, For the two little bugs died of fright. II. McP. WHAT THE SHOES? "Where's Swipsey dese days?" "He stole a pair of shoes an' dey pinched him." -

THE MCIKSVULLE BMEESE "THE OFFICIAL WIND-JAMMER OF THE COMMUNITY

Hlcksville "8omewhere In America"

HICKSVILLE DREEZE Published every week to tell almost the truth, and lives up to its reputation. CHARLES MacLEONHARDT, Editor-in-Chief Huckelberry Finn, Associate Editor Lucy Corntossel, Society editor. General Nuisance, Fighting Editor. Uncle Es Zarrow, Cartoonist. Rastus Johnson, Sporting Editor. Matilda Ebbs, Movie Editor. Katinka Zarrow, Scenic Artist EDITORIAL Speaking of playing jokes on your wife, the biggest joke usually, is when a man marries her. Cf ftAiiraA nur piiutnmoiM Irnrtw that because a baby bawls every . . . 1 IA. 1 - i. - ki.ll minute is no sign it mi uuii game. The faster a dog runs, the shorter are his pants. Just because mushrooms grow in damp places Is not the reason they look like umbrellas. The cheapest things at a bargain sale, Is to see the men standing around waiting for their wives. TOMCAT8 AND LITTLE FISHES This was a wedding notice printed in a country newspaper: If ever joy and love, mirth and music, met and kissed each other, it was surely here, As the chimes of four stroked the hour, tho Roft. sweet strains of Mendelssohn's wedding march floated through the air, and slowly the'bridal party descended the stairs and took their places. The bride, a picture of beauty, descended the stairway un attended At the landing hue was met by the groom, and together they went to the improvised altar, i over which suspended a beautiful marriage bell During a part of the impassive ceremony Miss Carr played softly "MaoDorrel's "To a Wooed Lilly." ROW AND ROAR Under the cotton woodn, in a boat tied close to tho bank, a seed ylookinu colored gentleman twitched a fishliue lazily through the waters of the lower Mississippi river, The heavily-laden traveler eyed him for a moment and then shouted: - "Say, uncle can you row?" No, Ah eain't ro'." "Well, let me borrow the boat to go down to Bungtown for (he train and I'll give you a dollar." The darkey hauled in his line with alacrity, the stranger jumped into the boat, picked up the oars, and pulled rapidly out into the stream. It was not long,' however, before the hot sun showed its effects and the rower paused panting for breath. His colored companion then seized the oars and began rowing with great npoed and little apparent effort. Gasping in astonishment, his passenger remarked somewhat 'crisply: "I though you ;aid that you couldn't row ?" "For lawdy sake did yo' mean ro' like a Hon." Every body 'h Magazine. PREPAREDNESS Bill I understand tho kaiser has already ordered his halo for thenext world. Gill I hope and truat he ha taken the precaution to have it tuadi of asbestos. Yon Iters .S talesman .'.'. BE CAREFUL MARYi Mary had a little Jamb -For dinner, so they say; Then Mary was arrested. For it was meatless day

8NICKERS (Contributed by Starr School) A young lady entered the fur store and a polite salesman came forward. ' "I wish to get a muff," she said. "Yes'm," said the salesman. "What furr The young lady looked surprised. "Why," she said, "to keep my hands warm, of course." "Please wrap up all my purchases," said the grouchy customer.

"Why, I have done so," replied the grocer. "Beg pardon, but you haven't," retorted the grouchy customer, "What have I left not done up?" "That thumb of yours you weighed with the butter, also the one you weighed with the meat. Wrap them up. I want them for dog meat." Daddy "No, yer mother never drest tho way you girls do today to catch a husband." . Daughter "Yes, and look at what she caught." "Please, ma'am," said a servant, "there's a poor man at the door with wooden legs." "Why, Bridget," answered the mistress in a reproving tone, "what can we do -with wooden legs? Tell him we don't want any." Doctor to assistant, ."That's an odd thing f have just done." Assistant "What is that Doc tor?" Doctor "In signing this death certificate, I. put my name where the cause of death should be " SHOOT THE CAT The early bird ho gets the worm, As everyone has heard; But there'ti tho thing that mikes us ' K(uii m ..: The late cut eats tho bird. Moose Heart Magazine from, Gilbert Snider, Kinley School.. GINGER JAR LEAKS. "Do you take picture -'.of chil dren?'' . ' "Yes mam." "How much are they please?" "Throe. dollars a dozen," the pho tographer replied "Well," she replied with a sigh, "I ahaLl have to call-again as I only have eleven. Madge F.very 'time Tack kisses me he colors up to bin eyes. Maud Yon shouldn't lay it on so thick, dear. "Say, mother, what ; keeps us from falling off the earth when we're upside down?" "Why, the law of gravity," "But bow did we stay on before that law was passed?" Judge. .She Vhtii J di-inKe from high to Io ''. ' '.' .-'" ' lie Why, I didn't know you had i car. She No, I meant shoes. Mrs. Mullius What's (tie matter, Mrs, Jones? Mrs Jones Why. Uis young varmint lias swallowed a .cartridge and-' I can't spank 'an for fear it gOfi.'i off. Molly Win fx Hie matter with your wrisit wat'-h? - Polly One of (h .?', ew kicked it in the (v-cp "Wbal for" "Well, you ..', I milking u.?r,' ami the tick annoyed her. so tho poor tiling wouldn't Kmd or it:" Yoiikeis Htati'smaii.

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PRICE ONE 8MILE GENERAL HEWS OF OUR HOST NOBLE VILLAGE Jabe McCracken said, "Since the price of steel has went up, it is a sure thing the laundries won't put as many pins in a shirt. Squire Perkins said, "Girls would show a whole lot better patriotism if they would wear less pink stockings, and not be bo confounded silly." ' The village was reported to hav some rush business at the town clerk's office when twenty-five licenses were taken out; ten of them being for dogs, one for marriage and the balance hunting. Bert Hershbys who recently opened a grocery store in his wife's name, has closed his business la the name of the law. Grocery bills never worry Hes Wiggins, as he says, "there is no use of himself and the grocery man worrying over the same bills. They teach every little boy to make someone happy during tho week, with their Sunday school lessons, and little Willie Goots went to visit his aunt and she was happy when he went home. It has been reported that an American over at Pumpkin Center holds the record of having nine fights in two hours. But . others say he was no American he was an Irishman. Buck Henderson got beat for town constable at last election The better man was Squire- Perkins. Buck said, "He may beat me at an election, but. I'll be consamcd If he can beat me playing checkers." Bill Weatherby's niece is here visiting. She hails from a town near New York city and is a very pretty girl. In fact she is so pretty that all the men folks who use to not even notice Bill on the streets, come, past bis house now and go to lodge together. When a friend asked Sy Ebbs if his uncle remembered him m his will when it was read the other day. Sy said, "Guess he did, beesnise be left him out." The other day Mrs. Hez Brfokow stopped in Zarrow's Drug Store and told the clerk she wanted some wall paper to hang herself, "Well," says the crerk, "We have sewn' beautiful 'designs, but hardly be lieve any paper we have on stock will serve a.s you .want it" "One thing I always look for when 1 first pick up the papr," said Timothy Huckelberry the other days, "is to see if there has been anybody born that I know." Willie Gisreles was asked to tiso a .sentence, and use the word "income,", and his prepared answer: ma ieir, uie aoor open ana ia come the cat. PERHAPS, IF WE TRY" We may live without onious, or 'beefsteaks, or pies; We may live with .out tatera and live without flies: We miy live without credit, and live without cash, And it -wouldn't be hard to exist without hash You may live without pins, for dessert is a bother; You may live without .flies, tor flies are another; - . You' may live without cab, for riches are fleeting flut say, do you think we can do without eating?