Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 42, Number 293, 20 October 1917 — Page 15

The Sandman Story BANTAM CHICK Bantam Chick was very proud and boastful; he ran away from his mother and ho was always trying to pick a quarrel with other chicks in the barnyard. "Some day you will get a good whipping," said his mother, "if you do not keep away from the bigger chicks. You are a little fellow and must remember it" "I don't believe I am small," said saucy Bantam Chick. "I feel very big, indeed, and I saw myself in a tin milk pan the other day as it stood by tho fence, and I am very much bigger than any other chick around here." "You are a silly chick," said his mother, "and some "day you will find it out." "What is the use of staying around here with mother and the olhers? I am getting too big to follow mother any more, and would like to see the world. I do not intend to stay shut up here all my life as the other fowls have done." Bantam Chick waited until all the others were running for the corn that had been thrown out for their dinner and then he ran to the stone wall and crawled through a hole. When he was one the other side of the wall he stretched his wings and flapped them. "What a big world this Is!" he said. Across the field he went and then Into the road. He found plenty to eat, and it was not until it was almost dark that Bantam Chick thought of home or mother. Then he began to wonder where he would sleep, for he never had slept out of doors in all his short life. He looked around, and not far off he saw a house. "I'll find a place to sleep there, I am sure, and in the morning I will travel more in this big world." So the foolish little Bantam ran Into the yard of the house he had Been to stay for the night, but the next thing he knew someone had him by the legs and threw him into a barrel so high that poor little Bantam Chick could not get out. To be sure he had a place to sleep and plenty to eat, but he was a prisoner. The next morning Bantam Chicg was put in a hen coop, and , there he stayed for many -days, thinking over how foolish he had been to leave his mother and a big barnyard where he could run about all day. "We are going to make him fat and fry him," said someone, looking In at poor little Bantam in his coop. "Oh! dear, I am going to be eaten up," he thought. "How I wish I had stayed with my mother and the other chicks!" One night Bantam Chick was awakened by hearing someone near his coop, and then he saw two fierce-looking eyes close to him. "You are a little fellow," said the fox, for it was he; "but you seem to be the only thing in the chick line about here, so I guess I'll take you along with me." Bantam Chick flew about his coop and tried in vain to escape, but the fox poked and pushed at the hen coop, and finally it was overturned. Just then the moon, which had been shining, went behind a cloud and the fox lost sight of Bantam Chick. A dog barked somewhere and frightened the fox away. Ban-! tp"i Chick scurried under a wood-j pile. . ' I as soon as the first streak of light came in the sky Bantam Chick crawled out from under the woodpile, shook his feather's and started off; he ran and ran, nor did he stop "until he was far away from the dreadful place where had been made prisoner. He was tired and hungry and wondered if he ever should eat again, when from the top of a stone wall sounded a crow that made Bantam Chick stop and look. There on the wall stood the barnyard rooster. Bantam Chick had found his home without knowing it. He crawled under the gate and went into the barnyard a sadder but a much wiser chick than when he left it. Although everyone asked him where he had been; he kept his story to himself, and to no one but Ms mother did he tell the story of his dreadful adventure. But when any of the' ( hicks began to grumble because they could not go out of the barnyard and talked

THE

of running away, Bantam' Chick would tell them of. a chick he heard of who almost got eaten by a fox, and of another who almost got fried in a pan, for Bantam Chick felt his one adventure had been equal to two. ' r This stopped many a silly little chick from running away, and so after all Bantam Chick's experience did some good. Next week's story "The Sea Son." No thing Extra ISSUEP-CONTIN UALLY GOSSIP THAT KEEPS THE VILLAGE UP ALL NIGHT Miss Artilda Cornshuk has laid away her furs, as she says: "The middle of October is too cold to wear them." Miss Belle Quigsby is just keening company with Jos Squashers boy because she's saving chewing gum wrappers. Sally Punkinsby went to church last Sunday, and she said the sermon was bright in spots, but the hats were punk. Miss Artilda Conshuk has a new hobble skirt, and she made a start for the threatre at six o'clock, so as to get there by eight-fifteen. "The man who wrote 'Home, Sweet Home,' never had a home," said Henry Boggs after his wife hit him over the head with a rolling pin yesterday morning, as he was leaving the house for his work. Hiram Begosh's wife put a piece of string on his finger to remind him a letter she wished to post. And after she tied the string and Hiram had departed, she forgot to give him the letter. Cal Weatherby's hay barn burned down yesterday, and the insurance men told Cal they though Spontaneous Combustion was the cause of the fire. Cal has employed every detective in the community to find a man by that name. They tell a ripping good joke on Dan Zarrow, the blacksmith. He run down the street for three blocks while over to the city the other day to tell a man all the water was leaking out of his wagon. It happened to be the city sprinkler. The limit was reached when Postmaster and Justice of Peace Ebbs who is past 65 years, came home from the city with a tight fitting French model overcoat, "just out of college style." The Ladies' Aid society has called a special session to "run down" Widow Smith, who we think is engaged in a way to Postmaster and J. P. Ebbs, Down at the old Ridge well school house last night the young ladies of the choir gave a box social. Samantha , Boggins sang, "Darling I Am Growing Old," and she need'nt remind us of it, because very few people of Sugar Creek township remember when she was born. Si Jones, the oldest resident said "she was as old as the hills" and of course everthing was explained, 'cause everybody knows how old the hills are. PERHAPS IT WAS MUSIC The bull frog sang to the rest of the gang; "That's fine!" said the Orang- . .Utang. But the Owl looked wise and blinked his eyes, And he said, "I hate to criticise, But I'd like to say " then talked all day; But that of course, is the critics way. CRUEL WORLD The world is rough, but never mind Keep cheerful as you you go. For if you stop to kick you'll find You've only stubbed your toe. TELEPHONE POLES IN THE JUNGLE WOODS The telegraph line in the jungle, Is so funny 'twould make you laugh For the poles that hold the wires, Are each a tall giraffe.

RICHMOND PALLADIUM, OCT. 20,

KEEPING HOUSE One day Mary and John's mother was going away from the city. Before she left she told them that when they had their work done, that they might go to the stream aud fish. In the afternoon when their work was done they went to the stream. After they left their lines In the water for a while John took his line out of the water, There was a fish

THE HICKSVILLE BREEZE "THE OFFICIAL WIND-JAMMER OF THE COMMUNITY"

Hicksville "Somewhere In America"

HICKSVILLE BREEZE Published every week to tell almost the truth, and lives up to its reputation. K CHARLES MacLEONIIARDT, Editor-in-Chief. Huckelberry Finn, Associate Editor Lucy Corntossel, Society Editor. Rastus Johnson, Sporting Editor. Matilda Ebbs, Movie Editor. Katinka Zarrow, Scenic Artist General Nuisance, Fighting Editor. Uncle Ez Zarrow, Cartoonist HIS FIRST FOOT BALL OF THE SEASON ALSO LAST. One eye was blue, One rib was cracked, One arm was hurt, -His jaw was blacked. One foot was mashed, One elbow sore And then perhaps His hurts were more. His side was hurt Ditto his nose, One leg was lame, Also his toes. An elbow bunged, A finger off, His insldes hurt When he cough. NOVEL PATTERN An elderly lady entered a store and asked to be shown some tablecloths. A salesman brought a pile and showed them to her, but she said she had seen those elsewhere nothing suited her. "Haven't you something new?" she asked. The clerk then brought another pile and showed them to her. "These are the newest patterns," he said. "You will notice that the edge runs right around the border and the center is in the middle. . "Isn't that lovely!" said the lady. "I will take half a dozen of these." Life. II ICT lMIT lMIT lMIT tvnu ana me worm khus wuu yuu, Slack and you slack alone. The things you knit May, perhaps, not fit And the khaki lad May use language bad With the lumps like rocks In his amateur socks, But your loyalty you've shown. wr I L . . L . I,. 1 -..1.1- . ONLY BANANAS "What have you in the shape of cucumbers this morning?" asked the customer of the new grocery clerk. "Nothing but bananas, ma'am," was the reply. GINGER JAR LEAKS Lady -"Were you ever in European jails?" Ruffian "No, my motto is, 'See America first.' " Lady "I suppose you have been in every jail in the country?" Ruffian "Yes, and some of the ones in the city, loo." Diner "How's the chicken today?" Waitress "I'm pretty well, thank you!" "My dinner coat needs a button, Julia, please attend to it tonight." "But I cant tell your dinner coat from your breakfast jacket, dear." "Why, the breakfast coat has eggs on it and and the dinner coat gravy." SoulfulHow distressing it must be when a singer realizes that she has lost her voice! Cynical Yes; but how much more distressing tl is when bhe doesn't realize it.

1917 v : ' ' ' "1 ,- ;

on the end. : John was very happy. Mary felt disappointed to tnlnk her brother had beaten her. Now that they had caught the fish they did not know what to do with IL ' But Mary decided to give it to an old lady in their neighborhood who was very poor. This they did and it made the old lady very happy, bo the children were happy too. -Evelyn Cook, 5A grade, Whitewater schooL WHEN WOMAN PAY8 HER 8TREET CAR FARE Opens satchel, takes out purse, shuts satchel, opens purse, takes out dime, shots purse, open satchel, puts In pnrse, shuts satcheL Gives conductor dime, receives nickel then opens satchel, takes out purse, Bhuts satchel, opens purse, puts In nickel, closes purse, opens satcheL put in purse, closes satchel end of car line, all passengers off. A NEW FAMILY Away out west there lived a family, such a large family too, there were seventeen children, all boys, John New, and James New, and Henry and Joseph. There were so many they run out of names. The last boy was Nothing New. Then at last there was a little baby girl the first one. So they called her Something New. BEFORE AND AFTER Before a man's married he's a regular dresser. After marriage he cuts out regular and dresser. Before marriage he has no buttons on his shirt, after marriage he has no shirt to sew buttons on. Before marriage he says, "he would not marry the best lady on earth; after marriage he finds out he hasn't. POLITENESS WAS HIS GIFT Of all the absent minded people Uncle Zeb Zarrow ran against a cow and politely raised his hat and said, "beg your pardon madam." Soon after he stumbled against a lady without looking up and said, "Is that you again, you brute?" A SOUP FABLE Ike Rosenskl took his son in a restaurant and they ordered soup. "Oh, papa, there's a fly in my soup," said Jakey, "Veil, son eat 'till you come down to der fly and den tell der vaiter and get another bowl of soup for nudding." WANT ADS CLIPPED FROM OTHER PAPERS WANTED A treasurer for a bauk; one without arms preferred. LOST- -A little dog. by a gentleman with a muzzle, who answers to the name of "Fido." LOST A. black goat, by a widow with a broken horn. FOR SALE Magnificent rosewood piano, by gentleman with carved legs. WANTED A first-class cook desires a position as housekeeper with some wealthy widower who does not object to onions and companionship. "THERE'S A REASON" They sat beside the moonlit sea Yet flirted not, and then The reason I found out to be That both of them were men. SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS A hen comes from an egg and an egg comes from a hen. Which got here first? , WEAPONS! The worst of concealed weapons the onion breath is the worst. HE CAN SEE NOW Dear Doctor After using three bottles of your electric bitters I now have electric lights. Freddie Davis. BREEZETTES Some people should select a wife the same as an almanac, so they could get a new one every year. SIGNS WILL BE SIGNS A young man wanted to open oysters seventeen years old.

N' ' ' ' ' ' '' PAQB THREH

King's Herald Hold Meeting I'1 Twelve' members were present at the meeting 6t the King's Herald, of the Grace M. BL church, which was held last Saturday afternoon. Ellaabeth Price was hostess, Th feature ot the afternoon were a Jubilee drflL readings from the Junior Missionary Friend, "A Boy Who Wa Called to His Work," and a vocal solo by Leota llosbrook. NotbingExtra PRICEONE SMILE ALL THE LATEST NEWS FROM OUR UTTLE TOWN Ezra Boggs was ( missing at the station yesterday when the six o'clock train went through Silas Zarrow has sold his cow and bought an automobile. It Is cheaper to buy milk' than feed a cow, he figures. Josh Hfbbletree sayB, the reason he don't stay at the Astor Hotel when in New York, Is because he don't like Mrs. Aster's cooking. Huckelberry Finn's grandad says: "If you don't get killed with an automobile on Sunday, you have a fair chance of living the balance of the week." Hiram Grigsby Bald he never knew a girl could eat so much ice cream, until he heard his son recite his arithmetic lesson saying. "One gal. is equal to four quarts." While making a move in a check, er game, Hen Kreks said, "He had found out by experience that a man should think twice before he argues , with his wife, and then talk to himself." Squire Pashby says, "Never again will he wear ear muffs, no difference how cold." Ben Weatherby said; "Guess he was afraid some one would ask him to have a cigar and Squire wouldn't hear them." Constable Plum's boy has his first long pants, and a celluloid collar. The directions are printed on the collar which reads; "clean with soap and water, and keep away from fire." The latest in styles came to Hicksville when Lucy and Sarah Ann Bodkins came back from the city. . They both purchased a pair of those new f angled striped socks. When at a distance one might think they were two "dressed-up barber poles" or walking delegates from the "Prison Reform League" by the way the stripes loomed up. Since Ben Henry Johnston's wife has joined the new knitting class, he has to board up town. The1 monotony of this class may not wear off for a couple months, as there has been two or three new families moved into the village recently who have some ' past records. Miss Samantha Punksnow Is positive they are the same ones who had trouble at the Three Corners church thirty years ago. Willie Snoots has joined a cluV to receive lost of mail, and yesterday he got two postal cards and five circulars, wanting him -to be their representative in the Holddown community. Willie was the one persons who received so much notoriety last winter in the famous "shot gun case" here last winter. Some people here still think Willie was the party who took 1L Jlmmte Weatherby bought a fountain pen at a mail order house and after using It for a while decided to write a testimonial which read as follows: "Dear Sirs-After giving ' your non-leakable fountain pen a thorough tryout, am sorry to say it would have been better for me to bought a bathing suit also, as when I get through using the pen, I look like I've had a bath in ink. Josh Hibbletree." P. S. I have returned the pen in a waterproof wrapper. TWO BIRTHDAYS A chicken has two birthdays the day the eggs was laid and the day It wns hatched.