Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 42, Number 287, 13 October 1917 — Page 11

TWO RICHMOND PALLADIUM, OCT. 13, 1917.

PAGE TIITIEB

The Sandman Story

ROD ROY SQUIRREL Mrs. Squirrel .had a large family of children, but not ono of them excopt Robbie gave her any trouble. He would run away and he would not learn to gather nutB as his brothers and sisters did for the winter's fit of e. "What is (lie uso of working," said Bobbie Squirrel. "I'll let the others work and I will get what they gather." So after a while Robbie Squirrel became "a bad fellow, and everybody in the deep woods called him Rob Roy Squirrel because there was once a long time ago a famous robber named Rob Roy. One day Rob Roy Squirrel ran away from his mother and his brothers and sisters and Jiid in a tree a Ions way from home, lie carried a pistol and a dagger and was thought to be very wicked, although no one could really say that Hob 'Roy Squirrel had ever hurt any one. He stole their nuts and eggs and upset their home, but he was not cruel. Hut Rob Roy Squirrel, like all bad fellows, one day got into trouble, and it came very near being serious for him, too. It was one morning in the spring, when everything looked fresh and crisp, and everybody was filled with the joy of living, and Rob Roy Squirrel felt just too full of life to hold in another minute. He jumped out of his hiding place in a tree, and .ran to a tree where he knew Mrs. Bluebird had her home. Rob Roy Squirrel had expected to find some eggs, but Instead he found a nest full of little bluebirds, all with mouths wide open, for they thought it was their mother coming with a big worm for their breakfast. Now Rob Roy had seen plenty of birds, but he never before had seen such young ones or such big wide open bills, and it looked to him as though some terrible crea-j ture with many big red mouths was ready to swallow him whole. He didn't stop to see any more, but down the tree went bad Rob Roy Squirrel, and he didn't see old Mr. Hedgehog until he bumped on top of his prickly coat. Rob Roy Squirrel was frightened, so frightened that he ran up the next tree he came to and , into a hole he saw without stopping to think of dangers. He just wanted to get away from all the terrible things he had seen and felt. "Ah, ha! so I have you at last, you wicked robber," said a gruff voice, and Rob Roy Squirrel saw two big eyes looking right at him and felt a sharp claw, but fortunateyl for Rob Roy, he was quick enough to escape from the clasp of that claw and out of the hole he went like a flash. He had run right into Mrs. Owl's nest where he had stolen eggs a week before, and had she clasped her claw about Roy Roy Squirrel there would have been an end of this story right here. But as I told you Rob Roy was too quick for Mrs. Owl and he was out of her nest and down the tree like a flash, so quickly that he didn't see where he was going and right into a trap he went that had been set by some little boys to catch a live squirrel to keep in a cage. Itob Roy had plenty to eat and plenty to drink, and he was treated very, very kindly by the little boys, but he wanted to get out, and around he would run on the wheel in his cage, hoping that some day be would get to the opening in the cage, for he knew there was one where the little boy put him in, but Rob Roy could never find it. One day Rob Roy looked out through the bars of the cage where he lived and saw his mother and brothers and sisters, looking at him from a nearby tree. "Oh! Robbie," cried his mother, "see what you have come to. If you had been a good squirrel and minded me you never would have been put in that prison." Itob Roy Squirrel cried, too, for he knew what his mother said was true, but it was too late now, and all the squirrel families In the deep woods take their little ones to the troes near Rob Roy's prison, and show them what little squirrels come to if they do not mind their mothers and fathers and gather nuts for the winter, and if they

steal eggs or bother the homes of others in the deep woods. Some day Rob Roy's brothers may try to help him to escape, and If they succeed he will have learned his lesson by that time, so he will always be a good squirrel and never, never again steal eggs or touch that which dees not belong to him, I feel Sure. (Next Week's Story, "Bantam Chick.")

NothingExtra ISSUED CONTINUALLY THE VILLAGE GOSSIP "Gold fish are not as easy to match as a person might think," said Lucy Cauliflower, as she drank her coffee out. of a saucer at the breakfast table this morning. Mrs. Josh Weatherbys says, "she wishes to thank those who assisted her with the wedding of her daugh ter recently." Some people are very careless about their signs. When Ebeneezer Ebbs put up a sign in -his restaurant today announcing, "meals 25c. Don't go somewhere else to be cheated come in here." Clever Jim Coonser who Is pretty deaf in one ear was arrested yesterday, and will have a hearing in the morning. It kindly made the village "set up and take notice" when our former postmaster Sam Biggs, "shuck" off and married Arbelle Wimper, who was popular at serving soup at the Old Tavern Inn. f Hiram Grigsby fell down stairs and fractured two of his ribs and broke his New Yeag's resolution. It made Martha Boggs ma,d yesterday when she called up the grocer and told him to send over a bale of hay. The grocer asked her who it was for, and she told him it wasn't any of his business, as he might know its for the horse. WE'RE CIVILIZED NOW My granddad was a figurer. He was a man of means, One always heard the rattle of the dollars in his jeans. 'Twas his delight to lecture us small lads regarding thrift, He claimed that getting rich was just a habit, not a gift. He said: "Just practice saving and, behold, the trick is turned." But nowadays there are some things that granddad never learned. He didn't have to pay a buck for one small piece of steak, Nor put a mortgage on the home for beans and pie and cake. He didn't have to pay for every thing excepting air, And when he bought his shoes he didn't pay fifteen a pair. That lecture on the art of thrift was fine advice to give. He didn't pay all that he made, and then some just to live. PUNKVILLE NEWS Ben Smith says: "The differ ence between an apple and a pretty girl Is one you squeeze to get cider and the other you got 'skier to squeeze. We have two new teachers In the Punkville schools now. Their names, Mr. Johnson and Mr. Ilugg. Johnson teaches the boys, and Hugg the girls. The Ladies Aid and Embroidery society could not meet yesterday because Mrs. William Henry Jones had to stay home and scrub. A farewell party was given Silas Timakln's daughter, who has been asked to take a canoe ride tomorrow. WILLIE'S LONESOME DAY "Did you feel lonesome, dear?" aakod the mother who had just retured from a visit "Yes, mamma," answered the little fellow: "I felt just llko a widower without you."

A FEW REASONS WHY I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED (By Old Maid Whitesetl) Well, in the first place, I want everything my own way, and of course, you all see that that would not do if one were married. Perhaps (and very likely, for all men do) my husband would want everything his own way, and the result would bo a qnarrel, wherein I would get angry and pick up any

THE MECKSVILLE BREEZE "THE OFFICIAL WIND-JAMMER OF THE COMMUNITY"

Hicksville "Somewhere in America"

FRIENDS WE NEVER FORGET

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HICKSVILLE BREEZE CHARLES MacLEONHARDT, Editor-in-Chief Huekelberry Finn, Associate Editor Lucy Corntossel, Society Editor. Published every now and then to left the people of the community know "almost the truth" and lives up to its reputation. TRUE . "Man wants but little here below," In that there Is a shirk, The only "little" that I know, Man wants is little work. 1 Yes, man wants little work alright, It's quite a little jest, , But when the baby cries all night Man wants "little" rest. Man wants little rest, no doubt, But in these days we serve With all the pretty girls about, Man wants a little nerve. SAFETY FIRST BARBERS Hez Wash was over to the city last week and bought a new safety razor at the five and ten cent store, and announces he will open a barber shop in the rear of Zarrow's blacksmith shop. NO HORSE FOR HIS "Yes, I'so regtetud all right, and I'se already concreted; what you gonna joint de Infamy or de calvary?" "No calvary for me. I'se goin' In dat Infamy. When de genrul sound de word 'Retreat,' dis nigger don' wan' to be bother with no boss.'

nearby article from a rolling-pin to a chair and hurl it at him. It ho were high tempered, ho would do likewise, wherein, another quarrel. Wo would be very likely to go to court and get a divorce. And I'm so everlastingly stubborn that I would never look at him again and very likely he would do the same, so you see I have some good reasons for not wanting to get married.

COME NOW,WIU-YOM. 6ET INTO THIS THAT STRANGE MACHINE "Say, Bill, I hear Silas Perkins has bought a new automobile." "Is that so, and what's the name of it, Ez?" "I don't remember, but it seems to me like it starts with "T." "Well, Ez, it must be a Ford, as all the other machines start with gasoline." , OUR WITTY COLUMN "I want to be honest, sir. I can't support your daughter, but I am afraid to tell her so, because she has set her heart on marrying me." "Never mind. Do your best I can't support her, either." Life, Here's an article written by a scientist who says that insects have emotions. "He claims he has frequently seen a mosquito weep." "Yes, and I've often seen a moth ball." " "See here, Mr. Jones," said his physician, "it's taking you an awful long time to pay that bill of mine." "I know it Doc," answered Jones, "but you ought to remember that you were an awful long time curing me." Pearson's Weekly. Mother: "Oh, Mary, why do you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand?" Mary: "Cos it's so much cleaner than the front. GOODBYE GERMAN TALK "Well, I see they are catting German out of the schools now," said Mrs. Weatherby to her husband. Little Willie their son, who heard the remark, said; "Mamma, I wish they would cut out arithmetic too," while they are at it." DON'T BLAME THE PIG "Mike, darlint, shure an' it's our golden wedding ter-roorrow. Shall we kill th' pig?" "Th' pig, is ut! And pbwat's the pig got to do wld phwat happened fifty years ago?" , AFTER WHILE Uncle had a great big sledge, He struck at William Second: A grease spot now is where Bill was, That's tough for Bill, we reckon.

King's Herald Hold Meeting; Twelve members were present at the meeting of the King's Herald, of ...the Grace M. E. church, which was held last Saturday afternoon. Elizabeth Price was hostess. The feature of the afternoon were a Jubilee drill, readings from the Junior Missionary Friend, "A Boy Who Was Called to His Work," and a vocal solo by Leota IIos brook.

NothingExtra PRICEONE SMILE OUR TOWN NEWS Miss Mary Ann Dutes who sells tickets at the La-Ka-Dootes theatre, is laying off today while having her rings cleaned. "Do you. have corn on the ear," said Ez. Ebb to a waiter in a res taurant the other day. "No," says the waiter, "that is a wart you are looking at. I usually have corn on the feet" Uncle Henry Plumb says: "Many a man thinks he is doing a fine job of mule driving when the mule is Just hurrying home on its own account" Willie Simthins could not fill a date with his girl Wednesday night because his father made him stay home and wash the buggy. The old corner church gave a social at the church last week; the profits were not so much, bat five girls of the church found husbands. A VALUABLE HEN FOR SALE A good hen now laying eggs, also new potatoes, fence posts, and russet apples.-Adv. in Kent's Mills (Va.) Herald. THE HEN AND THIS MAN SHOULD TRAVEL TOGETHER "WANTED A man to care for a cow who has a good voice and is accustomed to sing in the choir." From Christian Register. THE FIN-DE-SIECLE FLY "Will yon walk Into my parlor? said the Bpider to the ily. "Well, hardly," said the Insect as he winked the other eye. "Your parlor has an entrance, but of exits it is shy, So 111 stay outside in safety and remain a little fly." ON HIS WAY! There was a man who fancied he could plague a Georgia mule And tickle gently one hind leg, the while he played the fool; I say there was there Isn't now it happened "quick as scat." If he's anywhere around at all, they don't know "where he's at." YES NO! Mistress "Do you know how to servo company?" , New Girl "Yessum; either way. Mistress "Either way!" New Girl "Yessum; eo's they'll come again or so's they won't." THE DIFFERENCE "What does your daddy do?" "He runs a street car." "Mine does, too, but he don't always catch it." AT IT AGAIN1 "Hello! I want to see Mr. Diggers at the telephone." "All right Come around to his office. He's just using the phone." Gozintas, a New Study Little Marie, who had just started to school, was asked how she liked to study, etc. "What do you study?" asked the stranger. "We study reading, writing and gozintas," was Marie's reply. "Gozintas? What are they?" the stranger asked sharply. "Don't you know? Why threo gozlnta twelve four times; five gozlnta fifteen like that, and a whole lot more of them."