Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 42, Number 251, 1 September 1917 — Page 7

TIUC RICHMOND PALLADIUM, SEPTEMBER 1, 1917.

PAGE TIIREB

THE NUMERAL TWO AND HISTORY The wer wolf of small nations, the German Emperor, WUhclm II., comes under what the Greek philosopher Pythagoras called "the evil principle." This refers to the numeral "two," which has been an unlucky number In dynasties. Pythagoras, as will be recalled, believed that the essence of all things rests upon numerical relations; numbers are the principles of all that exists, and the world subsists by the rhythmic order of its different elements, a belief regarded by Aristotle as "scientific doctrine" in the Pythagorean school of mathematics. One, according to this theory, represents Deity, a unity with no other parts. Two, the principle of evil diversity and disorder, in evil and strife. Three, perfect harmony, the godhead; the whole, beginning, middle, end.

Four, perfection, the perfect square; that is, 22 equals 4. Five, the great number in nature and art; leaves, senses, an ev.efi plus an odd numbers; beautyand symmetry in nature. Six, justice. ? Seven, the medical number.climacteric in diseases, and the musical number, the seven noTes?""" The second month was dedicated by the Romans to Pluto, god of the night or of the grave. The second day of the second month to the names of the departed. Two was the recognized fatal number. Every abstract idea is a number, eil, strife, each surnamed "Two." Witness the present case of Wilhelm II., the red promoter of the present1 world conflict. Add other cases of history: Charles II, (the Paid), fourth King of the Carlovingian dynasty, when France Avas called Gaul. He had an inglorious reign, the beginning of the feudal system in France. Ethelred II., called the Unready (978.) Under the. influence of his wicked mother Elfrida he held the reins of monarchy, guiding the Anglo-Saxon race through the most disastrous period of its history. Under his sway, London was taken by the Danish King, and Ethelred became a fugitive. Harold II., King of the AngloSaxons, was killed at the famous battle of Hastings. (10G6.) William II. of England, ruthless and unprincipled; his body, pierced by an arrow, was found by a charcoal burner, and was conveyed to Winchester in a lowly charcoal cart. (1087.) Henry II. of England suffered from the rebellions instigated by his sons, obliging Ids sons to fight for his crown. (1154.) Frederick II., Emperor of Germany, deserted by his allies, was excommunicated, his wife weighted with disaster even after he was dethroned by the Pope. (1215.) Edward II. of England, the first to receive the title "Prince of Wales," disgraced his reign, and after his defeat at Bannockburn was imprisoned, guarded by ruffians and murdered. John II., King of France, was captured at the battle of Poitiers and brought to England by Edward, "the Black Prince." (1350.) James II., Scotland's King, Was killed by the bursting of a gun battery at the siege of Roxburgh. (1444.) Charles II. of Anjou was in cap tivity most of his life, and the sec ond House of Anjou was extinguish ed. (1481.) In the sovereign family of the House of Savoy Charles II. died at the age of 8. (1496.) Henry II. of France, who con cluded the disastrous peace. La Paix Malheureuse, April 3, 1559, was mortally wounded in a tilt by Montgomery, a Captain of his guards. (1547.) Francis II, of France, son of Henry II, and Catherine de Medici, husband of the beautiful and unhappy Mary Stuart, reigned but 17 months and died so suddenly that rumors . of assassination naturally prevailed, since his mother was renowned for her love of alchemy and the use of poisons. Catherine succeed ed to the regency. (1560.) Charles II, of England died on the day of his birth in 1629. His brother, the second Charles II., became King of Scotland in 1651. His forces were annihilated by Oliver Cromwell, but after the death of the later he was crowned King of England. His court was marked by licentiousness and disgrace, and his death attributed to poison. The son of Peter the Great of Russia, Alexis II., was araitor to the empire of his father. He was

tried and condemned to deatli for treason, reprieved by his father and died in prison. (1689.) Francis II. of Germany lost most of his possessions. Beaten by Napoleon, with the treasury bankrupt, his reign proved stormy, and he laid down the title of Emperor of Germany in 189G and became identified with Austria. Alexander II. mounted the throne at a critical moment for Russia. He proved a good monarch and emancipated the serfs, but was assassinated in 1881 by the Nihilists. Garibaldi drove Francis II. from the throne of the Two Sicilies, and he died a wanderer on the earth. Nicholas II. of Russia has been forced to abdicate in the war inaugurated by the grizzly terror, William II, of Germany, around whom thrones are still crumbling. These monarchs are but a few culled from the records of the centuries. Many more could be added

that came under the evil principle of "Two." For Windy News Take the Breeze Issued Today So Long, Everybody We'll Be With You Here Next Year Goodbye! Only one more day of Chautauqua camp life and the big time will be over. The Hicksville Breeze "the official Wind-jammer of the community" will move its equipment, office force and its "office cat" back to the "big" city. The Breeze tent, we'll admit, had that "mid-night appearance of nobody at home" but all the time this was the busiest place on the grounds. We had the best of luck in getting news that was "almost the truth" for the Breeze. Huckelberry Finn, ye editor and co-workers of the Breeze express their best wishes to the subscribers that made us a call. We invite BOTH of you to be out next year. Thanks, young ladies who took the task upon iheir slioulders of making things look tidy around the Breeze tent. These ladies certainly were fine house keepers, for we will admit it was some job to clean up a tent after the boys have been there therefore girls, again we thank you yes, we do.. TRY THESE ECONOMICAL HOUSEHOLD HINTS A great saving, may be made in preparing bread pudding by leaving out the bread. Practice economy by making doughnuts all hole. Children will eat less scrambled eggs if the shells are scrambled with the eggs. You may take your bread out in the garden and let it raise there. EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS. When a good friend comes along, And he smites you on the back; When he lets his hand come down With a good resounding whack, And he wishes you good luck, And of gold a large, round pot. It may jar your teeth a bit, But it helps you quite a lot. WE ANSWER ALL QUESTIONS. Dear Huck How does the . water get into the watermelon? C. K. Answer They plant the seeds in the spring. Ed. Dear Huck: Why does the woman take the man's name when she marries him? Bertha B. Answer: She usually takes everything else, and she might as well take that, too. Ed. IN SOCIETY. We saw Uncle Bill Barksbale and a good looking lady in town last Wednesday. THEY'RE BOTH THE SAME WTion you spy a buzzing fly, Swat the critter in the eye. When you see a buzzing spy. Swat the Kaiser in the eye. IT'S NOT HIS FAULT There's a man in our wee village. Whom folks always shun, When he fails to hit the target Why, he blames it on the gun.

THE

JIMMIE G. WHITES BEAU STORY FOR JUNIOR Dear Aunt Molly: I reed the Junior evry week and 1 see a lot of things in there about mo and the fellers an the things we do which I do not Iik very much, an as I have wrote a story about sumo bares I hop you will put it in this week insted of anything else becus I no the fellers will like it a hole lot better. Yours truely, Jiramie G. Onct upon a time I went way out in the wild and wuly west where cowboys wuz a ridin al arount. I stopt one and I says wheres the Medtearrainand mountain. He says you ol tenderfot what do yo want with that montan. I says

back at him I want to shoot a wooly bear. Then he lafs and shoes me to the montain. When I gets way up on that Metderain land mountain I taks out my big caluber gun from my sute case and starts up the montain. Purty soon I am clear up the montain and I see a big wooly bare. He is ateing his brekefas on some pore animal, mabe a elefant.

CKSVILLE

"THE OFFICIAL WIND-JAMMER OF THE COMMUNITY"

Hicksville "Somewhere in America"

HICKSVILLE BREEZE HUCKELBERRY FINN, EDITOR Published every now and then to let the people of the community know "almost the truth" and lives up to its reputation. All news notes that would sound like it would make good reading for the Breeze, should be sent to Hicksville Breeze, care of the Junior Palladium. ''SHUTALKAGRAMS" All cats do not have tails neither does all hens have feathers. If you don't believe it try sleeping out at the Chautauqua grounds at night. So there was a bunch of midnight prowlers and hoodlums who thought they could run the Chautauqua Camps and now they are sleeping back home with mamma. : You can be bawled out for most anything out at the Chautauqua grounds; the other evening Huckelberry Finn, ye ed Hicksville Breeze said "Howdy-do' to a young lady and she turned around and said: "Why do you always say Howdy-do? why don't you say Hello?" "Hello is not proper," said Huck. "Well, I want you to say Hello after this," the lady replied. Alright Mary it will be "Hello" after this. Some the people out at the camps do not seem to worry at all, about the squirrels while sleeping in the same woods. HINTS FOR TAKING CARE OF THE CAT IN SUMMER Never let the cat in without wiping his feet; this very important. Never let the cat go out nights, unless accompanied by the dog, and one or more of the family. Never let the cat eat at the first table, especially when the minister, or other company is there. Never let the cat eat in a hurry for fear of indigestion of the ears. Never let the cat kiss, or hug you, unless absolutely sure he loves you. Never take the cat to the manicurist to have his nails attended to, unless he is willing. Never feed the cat lion flesh it's liable to change him into a wild-cat. HEALTH HINT An apple a day keeps the doctor away but not as well as a savage dog. THIS FAMILY GOT REAL SARCASTIC TO EACH OTHER The Husband Advertises "From this date I will not be responsible for any debts contracted by my wife or any one else. I do not havo a wife any more." Sy. Tobby. The Wife Answers Ad. "I never got anything on your name in my life while living with you, and you needn't think I am going to try It now. Mrs. Sy. Tobby.

So I went up to Mr. Bear and I sez outloud in a loud voice. Are you ready to be shotted. Bare don't doe anithing but look around and smile at me. My tethe was wigglin something fecrce and my legs wuz wobblin bo I could hardly stand on the ol things but I wusn't a bit sceered. Bare Ftniled at me : something feerce and purred like our ol cat does only a lot louder.

I pulled out my great big calibur rifel from out of mi pocket and I started at Mr. Boar No I didn't start first, he started then I started to ran behind a tree. I pulled up my gun and wated till the bear got right up on rae then I shot him rite as he opened his mouth to swoller me hole. No I didn't shoot him nether cause there wasn't no shoots in the gun, I had fergot them in my sute case at the bottom of the montan. Mr. Bear growled outloud and right in my face. Grand mother Grey sez its alfull ill manerly to talk in a body's face so I says Mr. Bear you should hav better manEVERY MORNING THE SAME MOVIE SHOW AT CHAUTAUQUA These sketches were taken from life of Chautauqua campers which the usual morning "show" when Bridgett sounded the breakfast bell. ''One Grand Rush" is the slogan of every camper at meal time. -And then they eat. And some bring their lunches. NO MORE COMBING YOUR HAIR FROM MEMORY STRING VILLFi The good news has reached this village that the well-known boarding house "Inside-Out" managed by Mrs. Zeb Zarrow's granddaughter has made some important improvements. The boarders will have the opportunity now for the first time to comb their hair thru looking glasses, and not from memory as has been the process. Mrs. Zarrow has installed mirrors In the wash room. LITTLE WILLIE FEELS SAFER IN A TIN ROOF HOME. "Hooray," rejoiced little Willie Smithens, "No more" shingle paddlings, 'cause we moved into a house with a tin roof?"

nres. But he didn't, pay a tit of attenchun to me at all. Putry soon I eeez he iz not taking any speshal likin to me at all sos I try to kick hira but he gia stood upon his two rear fet and grinned at nice out loudo and I spects he'd been grinnin yet if I hadn't shook so hard that I shook the tie I waz stadin agans and purty soon that ther bare was all covered with dead limbs.

I Jums up in caus if Mustin Bare wuz ded ther hent no us stain ere so I run jes as far as I could down the side of the mantain and got two bullets and then I run bek up that montain and then I uncovered that there bare and saw him ded. So I took out my gun and shoot him dead again and I skinned him too. Only the bare wuzn't dead and I had to shoot him dead again with my other bullet honest Aunt Mollies I did and then I skinned him and took his skin down and put it in my soup dish fer supper. , Honest I d'd and some big man in Noo Yerk gave me a million dol-' lars for it and now I'm rych. "Almost the Truth," our Motto Price Yours PROGRAM WAS MUTILATED IN CAMPTOWN "SHUTALKA" The Hicksville Breeze has the misfortune to print a pitiful story this week. Owing to the carload of ukuleles not arriving last week, it has caused us to state there wore several numbers on the "after the big show" were not rendered. Also wish to state Miss Manday Butnmosic has a cold and she was unable to sing in the chorus, which were to sing, "Four O'clock Is Time Enough to Go to 'Sleep." Some of the songs and instrumental numbers substituted were: "The Pigs Are Squealing for Their Meals" and "Papa Trim Your Toe Nails, You Are Tearing All Mother's Sheets," and several other selections were played, too numerous to mention. ITS A WONDER THE DITCHES AREN'T FILLED WITH AUTOS STRINGTOWN Squire Jebbs says, "It's a . wonder the ditches aren't filled with autos more than they are by the way some of the girls lean on the drivers." NO USE TO WORRY. What's the use to worry about the future? Maybe there isn't going to be any. THE MOST USELESS THINGS Trying to teach a fish to swim in a bottle of ink. . Trying to put a pair of dimmers on the moon. Putting earrings on a mosquito. Trying to make your bank book balance on the end of a pole. Knitting socks for a thoussandlegged worm. Filling aligators teeth with pigiron. . HER FIRST PAIR OF SOX ARE ALMOST MATES FROGTOWN Blunk Miller's oldest daughter has just finished knitting her first pair of army socks. Blunk says, "They almost look alike." WHICH POWDER A lady rushed into a drug store and said: "Give me a box of powder." "What kind of powder, gun, face or bug?" replied the druggisL "Bug, mister." ADVERTISEMENTS Business Notice We shave your entire face and neck for the old price others charge 15c for shaving the face only. Heks Barber sanitarium. For Sale A dog by a man with a stub tail and pug nose. GO AND BRING IN THE LIONS, DANIEL; HERE'S FOOD "I just found out that I was born a little bit musical, Marie." "How's that Liz?" "Why, with drums in my ears." "Well, can you beat it?"