Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 42, Number 232, 10 August 1917 — Page 4

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THE RICHMOND PALLADIUM ANP SUN.TELEGRAM. FRIDAY, AUGUST 10, 1917

THE RICHMOND PALLADIUM

AND SUN-TELEGRAM

Published Every Evening Except Sunday, by Palladium Printing Co. . Palladium Building. North Ninth and Sailor ' Street.. R. G. Leeds, Editor. E. H. Harris, Mgr. Entered at the Post Office at Richmond. Indiana, as Second Class Mail Matter.

Few men are sufficiently well balanced to be good fellows and keep from going to the bad. Business Chat. 4

Uncle Sam Wfll Help What can you can?

experts to tell you what you can can, and how you can can it. Housewives for many years past have ignored the advice of Uncle Sam. His teachers have been ready to help them, but the housewives have failed to ask for instruction. , This year, thousands of American women have appealed for help and Uncle Sam has responded nobly. Representative Elliott has booklets prepared by the government's experts that tell you all about canning. No kitchen is complete with

FABLES RECITED BY GEORGE ADE AT INDIANA FORT Humorist Tells Funny Stories to Student Officers in Camp. .INDIANAPOLIS. Aug 10. George Ade. told the' student officers at Foci Benjamin Harrison some funny stories Wednesday afternoon. General Glenn introduced him in a few words. In which he spoke of the Indiana humorist's noted modesty and shyness, and told his hearers that Ade',? tremendous popularity was duto the humanly sympathetic quality of his humor. Ade said: "Young Men of the Training Camp: About twenty years ago this country was supposed to be at war with Spain. Compared with the present gigantic struggle, the slight misunderstanding of 1898 was merely a ten-twenty aid thirty war. It was about-as much like the new style of heavy fighting as croquet is like athletics. It was (o Ml intents and purposes, a moonlight picnic. We were fighting a lot of guitar players who didn't want to fiqht. When a man is going into battle, nothing encourages him more than the knowledge that the other fellow Is looking for a chance to climb a tree. " . Irish the Fighters V "The Spanish were easy for us because they were so unlike the Irish. Not long ago an Irishman was brought back to a London hospital, badly wounded. He asked the nurse if he would get wgll and she told him -that he would be up and around in about said that as soon as he was strong enough he wanted to go back to the front. She was surprised. She asked, "Why, after you have been so terribly wounded, do you Insist upon going back to the front?" "Well," replied the Turk, "I think I know who did it." "As I was saying, about twenty years ago we were engaged in playing tag, hide-and-seek and drop the handkerchief with any Spaniards that, we could catch up with. It wasn't much of a war but it was the first we had enjoyed for over thirty years and we didn't know when we would have another so we made the most of it. Shortly after the festivities began, a couple of boys living in a town called Centerville enlisted. They didn't have much to do at the time so they decided to free Cuba. The government gave each one of them a new suit and a hat. These two boys were named Wes and Schuyler. They tied red handkerchiefs arcund their necks so as to look more desperate. All the way from Centerville to Florida they kept their heads out of the car window and yelled at any one standing near the track. As Soldiers Good Kickers "They went into camp for a while and found fault with the beef that came in tins. It was beef that should have been used during the Civil war. "Finally, they got on a boat and were landed in Cuba. They wanted to shoot at something, but they couldn't find anything to shoot at so they sat around in the shade, 6inglng coon songs and roasting the War Department "At last they were ordered home. As the train approached Centerville, they were considerably agitated because they had sent a lot of colored post cards to a couple of girls employed In the Bee Hive department store! and they thought maybe these girls would be down at the station to meet them. j "When No. 7 stopped at the depot j Wes and Schuyler jumped off and the j first thing they saw was about 8,000 roaches, moths. hri huM. Amb. rhl.r.i lice, cetera. Packed ia waled (Uu bott let. Non-poitonous. 10, 25 and 50 ctoti everywh -black n.kez MW. Lombard S tract fit j. Balttmora. Md. I II fl WrH. far V'aa rlr Mori Book

fr They are a menace to foodclothing life.

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out one of them. Spend two cents for a postage stamp, and the booklets are yours. Uncle Sam in -one of his appeals says this : A week or so ago one of the canning experts of the United States Department of Agriculture reported that a group of girls in a small southern community had this year added their bit to the country's food supply by putting up 7.290 quarts of tomatoes. 2,850 quarts of peas, 324 quarts of okra and tomatoes mixed, 260 quarts ot soup mixture, and 850 quarts of guavas. The canning season for the North is now upon us. If in each northern community group of girls were to follow the good example of these southern girls, the H would soon disappear from the H. C. of L. v c The United States Department of Agriculture will tell you how to can and dry all your surplus fruits and vegetables. Just send a card to the Division of Publications. Department of Agriculture, Washington, D. C, asking for bulletins on home canning and drying of fruits and vegetables.

You

Remembering Mistakes Some persons never can forget or forgive a mistake. They stick in their memories like burs to wool. Fine friendships have been irremediably broken because a stubborn heart refuses to overlook an oversight. Too often the aggressor is less at fault than the one who took offense. The whines of an offended person more often amuse than receive sympathy. Some times you merit the black eye a friend gave you.

people waving their hats and cheering. Called Conquering Heroes "Then the Centerville Silver Cornet Band began to play, "See the Conquering Hero Comes!" Eight little girls In white began to strew flowers in the pathway of the military celebrities. Next they bad to stand still while Cap Gibbs made a speech to them. He never had been in the army, but he owned the first steam threshing machine ever seen in the country, so that made 'him a captain. He had a red, white and blue sash looped around himself and he barked in a loud voice. "He told the boys that they had written their names on the scroll of fame alongside of Napoleon Bonaparte and George Washington and TJ. S. Grant. Feasted Like Kings. "Escorted by the Daughters of the Revolution, the boys then marched to K. P. Hall where they were put at the head of a long table and served with fried chicken, veal loaf, deviled egg?, preserved watermelon, potato, salad, cottage cheese, dill pickles, grape Jelly, soda biscuit, stuffed pepers, lemonade, hickory nut cake, cookies, lemon pie, ham, macaroons, New York ice cream, peppermint wafers and coffee. While they were feeding,., the Sons of Veterans' quartet stood on the Rostrum in close harmony formation and sang, "Tenting Tonight. Tenting Tonight, Tenting on the Old Camp Ground." "At the very first opportunity Wes motioned to Schuyler and led him' to a little-room off at one side a place where they kept the coal scuttles and brooms and such. - He closed the door and said. 'Say, Schuy, what the hell Is all this about? Do they know that we're just a couple of privates.' " 'You are wrong.' 6aid Schuyler. 'As near as I can find out, we are a couple of heroes.' " 'Do you think you're a hero?' asked Wes. , " " 'No matter what I think,' replied Schuyler, 'I'm going to let,them have their own way. I may want to run for sheriff some day. Don't Deny You're a Hero, "Young gentlemen, I want you to draw this lesson from what happened nearly twentyyears ago. If any one calls you a hero, don't deny It. "If a distinguished visitor put the laurel wreath on your sunburned brow, be polite and, in the vernacular, 'leave it lay.' "If I fail to pass you the usual compliments, it is not because you are undeserving, but because the English language contains only 140,000 words and most of them already have been used in trying to convince soldiers that they are patriots. "They don't need to be convinced. They admit. I will not tell you that you are heroes. You have been given assurances to that effect by some of your distinguished guests and, of course, you don't dare to contradict a guest. Won't Spoil Gen. Glenn. . "I shall refrain from eulogizing Gen. Glenn. He is a good man but highly susceptible to flattery and we might spoil him. "I will play safe. I will give advice to the young. After a man gets past CO the best thing he does is to issue Instructions. If he got his money by committing burglary and has got the gout in both feet and plays poker three nights a week, he writes an article for the paper and tells young men to be hones and frugal, to guard their health, practice moderation In eating and drinking and never speculate. "The most helpful advice for young people is condensed into morals, maxims and proverbs. 'A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.' Great stuff! If you had a bird in the hand you

Final Excursion

Kfnaieaiira

Round Trip from fl f Richmond, Ind. Mi)

Tuesday, August 14, 1917 Tickets Good Returning until August 26, Inclusive - ' via J PHIO ELECTRIC RAILWAY To TOLEDO, D. & C. and C. & B. BOAT LINES TO BUFFALO. For full information-and reservation of berths, see agent or address: J. S. WATERS, District Passenger Agent. Dayton, Ohio. ; W. S. WHITNEY. General Passenger Agent, Springfield, Ohio.

wouldn't know what to do with It. Besides, with two in the bush you're liable, with any kind of luck, to have a lot more birds after while. - " " 'The rolling stone gathers no moss.' Therefore, lie still and become a mossback. . . Some Adeiama. "I have prepared some of these nuggets of wisdom. They may help you to be better men. Here are a few of them: , "Early to bed and early to rise and you " will meet very few prominent people. -, ' "Some people are good because it is expensive to be otherwise. "A man can afford anything he can get and a woman can afford anything that she can get a man to get for her. "You never can tell how much Bengal tiger there is in a white rabbit until you put him on a meat diet. "Every man is the architect of his own fortunes', but the, neighbors superintend the construction. "Work is a snap. It is recreation that sends so many of our best peoplo to the sanitariums"A friend who is ;very near and dear nJay in time become as great a nuisasce as a relative. "If prunes cost 15 cents each they would be more popular than hothouse grapes. "A hare-lip is a misfortune a clubfoot Is a deformity, but side whiskers are a man's own fault. ? "I could go on for hours, but these few morals and maxims will be sufficient, I believe, to suggest to you how you may best serve your country in the present crisis,. .... - "Just now you are working hard to realize some very laudable ambitions. To encourage you.. I will tell about a young man who fitted himself to perform importants tasks and who found all of the work for which he was looking. . -v -. ' A Tale of Two Brothers." "Two brothers started away to the varsity at the same time. Just. before they boarded the train their paw led them aside and handed them a line of splendid advice. He told them that they were now ready to mold their

futures. He said he wanted them to stay in of evenings and bone hard, and he hoped they would not play the ukulele or smoke cigarettes or have Elsie Janis's picture on the dresser. "William listened and said he would behave. Ellsworth moved about in nis Summer-Spoiled Skin 1 Removed by Absorption As undue summer exposure usually leaves an undesirable surface of tan, redness or roughness, often freckles, too, the sensible thing to do is to remove such surface. There's nothing better for this than ordinary mercolized wax, which actually absorbs an unwholesome complexion. The thin layer of surface skin is itself absorbed, gently, gradually, so there's no inconvenience, no detention indoors. Spread the wax lightly over the entire face at bedtime and take it off in the morning with warm water. If you will get one ounce of mercolized wax at the drugstore, use it for a Nveek or so, you may expect marked improvement daily. When the underlying skin is wholly in view your complexion will be a marvel of spotless purity and beautiful whiteness. Don's let those summer wrinkles worry you; worry breeds more wrinkles. Banish them by bathing the face in a solution of powdered saxolite. 1 ounce, dissolved in pt. witch hazel. Used daily for a while this will be found wonderfully effective.Adv, Fa

IflS

Russians Make Stand

The Russian retirement baa halted, Berlin admitted yesterday, and the Russians are reforming their lines and making a stand against the AustroGermans. , ' Between the Dniester and Pruth Rivers (1) the Russians have stopped near the Bukowina border, ending the great retirement, in which the foe advanced from 100 to 140 miles. Fighting is reported south of Czernowltz (2), which is 225 miles from Odessa, the Russian Black Sea port,. at which the foe is driving. A is the battle line before the retreat started. )

chair and said it was nearly train time. 'They rode away on the varnished cars. Willira reading book by Ruskin on Itlian architecture and Ellsworth playing seven-up with a shoe drummer from St. Louis. 'At the university William recalled the words spoken by paw, so be stayed in his room to dig and became such a pet of the professors that he was very unpopular. Ellsworth wore a sweater and made the track team and traveled from one place to another with the glee club. "He went to his room Just as soon as all the other places were closed up. ' Ellsworth was known as th best one-gtepper in the Gamma Oopsilon Chapter of the Ippy Ki Yi College. Fraternity. "The reports sent home indicated that William was a phenom in scholarship and Ellsworth had made good as a yell captain. "Paw wrote Ellsworth once in a while to remind him that life is crowded with solemn responsibilities and Ellsworth would write back that he needed $50 to pay for chemicals used in the laboratory. - "By the time both were seniors, William wa6 personally known to the president and had weak eyes. . "Ellsworth was manager of the foot

Tie feiiB

Association Is Organized, Controlled and Managed hy Wayme Comity Bestoess Menu

$4

17 North Ninth Street

ball team and bis vocal chords were in wonderful condition. "On commencement day William received the Cyrus J. Blinker gold medal for being an all-around shark. "Ellsworth just escaped getting the gate. The faculty voted him his degree for fear that if they didn't, he would come back and stay another year. "After they graduated ' and came home to eat, Paw lined them up and gave them another good talking to. "He said he was proud of his palefaced William, but Ellsworth looked to him very much like a boomer. "He said he was going to put the two of them into a law office and he wanted them to read law until they were black in the face and not be

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Pooips Now Openn Hop Bnnsieess

Exempting Claims Taken Up In Preble EATON, C Aug. 10. Work of passing upon exemption claims filed by 173 out of 200 accepted for service was taken up today by the Preble county draft board. The percentage that will be allowed cannot be estimated, but it is probable that another list of registrants will have to be called to complete the quoa, 162. The greater part of the- exemptions are claimed because dependents must be supported. Claims of exemption of grounds of religious scruples do not enter largely into the list.

lured from their worX by the glittering temptations of the big town. Ellsworth Dates Up. "William began to eat up the reports of the supreme court while Ellsworth was In the outer room Joshing the clients and getting himself all dated up for luncheons and foursomes. "Three months after they tackled law, William had Blackstone hanging on the ropes while Ellsworth was attending a house party at the home of a gentleman who owned a construction company, although, if you hadn't known it was his home, you would have said, looking at the thing from a distance, that some on had moved the Claypool hotel out into the country. "Out at this million-dollar cottage Ellsworth met a girl who didn't know how much . she was worth, so Ellsworth thought it would be an act of kindness to help her. find out. "He sat out with her in the cool of the evening and began to pull the old reliable stuff that never had failed him. She stopped him before he was half through and told him not to work overtime, because he was the holder of the lucky ticket that drew the barrel of flour. She said that she fell for nlm the minute she noticed how well his coat set in the back. Here's the Moral. "In one of the large office buildings there is a suite finished in dark wood. At a massive roll-top desk sits Ellsworth. When a client brings in a

ICE - MINT ENDS FOOT MISERY Here's Quick Relief for Sore, Tired, Aching, Swollen, Burning Feet, Painful Corns and Callouses. . . Just a Touch Stops Soreness. Instantly the Feet Feel Cool, , Easy and Comfortable. Try It !

Here's real foot-comfort for you at last. Say goodby to your old corn salve, liquids, plasters and other dope. The modern way the sure way to end foot troubles is by the use of Ice-Mint a creamy, pleasant, snow-white preparation, whose medicinal ingredients are imported from Japan where the people have the fmest, healthiest little feet in the world. Rub a little Ice-Mint upon any tender, aching corn or callous. Instantly the soreness disappears - and a delightful, cooling, soothing feeling is imparted to . the skin. In a 6hort time the corn or callous will loosen and' may be lifted out . easily with the fingers. No humbug. If your poor, tired, aching," swollen, burning feet ever feel the

Mens

Richmond, Indiana

GERMANS FEAR POLISH REVOLT

LONDON. Aug. 10. The situation Li Poland is critical, according to information received by the correspondent at Laauzanne, Switzerland, of the exchange Telegraph company. The Germans are said to be discussing the possibility of an organized revolt on the part of the Poles. All German women In Poland, Including the wives of high military and civ!! officials, have returned to Germany. Martial law, the correspondent adds, has been declared at Warsaw, and in other Polish centers. Riots which have b'een suppressed with much bloodshed in the mining area have been renewed. knotty legal problem Ellsworth has the blonde stenographer jot down all the facts in the case. "After the client departs. Ellsworth pushes a button and brother William comes out of a Bide room with bis trousers bagged at the knees. He needs a shave, but he is full of the law. Ellsworth asks the blonde stenographer to read her notes to William. "Then William crawls back Into his hole and gets busy, while Ellsworth takes the elevator to the first floor, where he steps into a twin "18" car, which he purchased for his wife last year with her money. "What are the lessons taught by this 6imple narrative?" "If William had not been a grind at college, if he had not burned the midnight oil and filled the old bean with useful knowledge, if he had not been diligent and perservering and conscientiously determined to master every problem presenting . itself, he would not now be the silent partner of the best-dressed attorney in the middle West. ; "I thank you." . ' - PALLADIUM WANT ADS PAY magic touch of Ice-Mint, they will feel so cool and combortable that you will sign with relief. It's grand. It's glorious. New shoes or long hours of standing have no terrors for the friends of Ice-Mint. ' Resolve to end your foot misery today. Do not neglect those poor, tired, burning, corn-pestered feet any longer, for here Is real "footJoy" for you at last. No matter what you have tried or how many times you have been disappointed, Ice-Mint will give you just the helief and satisfaction that you have been longing for. Try it! Ask at any Drug Store to- -day for a small jar of Ice-Mint, It costs little and acts so quickly and gently, it seems like magic. You'll say so yourself. Adv. t .3