Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 37, Number 133, 9 April 1912 — Page 6
AGE SIX. THE RICHMOND PALLADIUM AND SUN-TELEGRA3I, TUESDAY, APKITj !, ini'4.
CAFE MENUS FOR COCKTAIL CONSUMERS
The Mere Private Citizen Wades Around in a Morass of Meats and Salads, Then Orders Any Old Thing. Why Do Clubs Have Constitutions?
BY ESTHER GRIFFIN WHITE. "Talk about the high price of living!" said Sarah. "Have you been skinned?" inquired the cynic. "Have I!" declaimed Sarah. "You've eaid it!" "Its this way," she went on confidentially. "While it is the truth that I ihave toured Europe several times and Seat out all sorts of restaurants, hotels, j cafes and other eating emporiums, I I never can make out these a la carte 'menus. "They're so crowded together they i confuse me. "Roast turkey with cranberry sauce joverlaps sauer-kraut and spare ribs, (spring lamb with mint sauce crowds t porter-house steak and prime ribs of I beef what the deuce is a prime rib, fanyway potatoes elbow cauliflower j"wlth or without addendums, and saliads stand cheek by jowl with entrees. "So how can you tell?" "A man could," said the cynic. ' "Well I can't so I just order any
thing and trust to luck that it won't break my bank." "The way these people' hold you up and rob you is a fright," continued Sal. "The other day I ordered some stuff and when I got to tomatoes the waiter eaid
"'One portion?' ; "Why certainly," I said. "I was all alone. Wasn't it plain to be seen I 'wasn't ordering for a regiment? ! "They brought me in enough turkey !to feed a family of ten and so many j strawberries I left over half of 'em. ' "And my bill whew!" whistled Sal. j "Three waiters grouped themselves round my chair and contended for the l mastery when I began to put on my coat. One of 'em chased me nearly to fthe door.
j "I think," grinned Sal, "they thought 11 waB a chorus girl off on a spree."
"And you tipped him I suppose?" murmured the cynic interrogatively. "Sure," said Sal. "What can you do?" "I thought you were a suffragette," deployed the cynic. ' "Cut out 'suffragette,'" said Sal. "Don't you know there aren't any in this country?" "Why er really!" exclaimed the cynic. "Didn't you organize something here the other day and did you tell me, or was I dreaming, that you had a convention in the state capital."
! "You didn't dream your ears conj ducted properly. But there aren't any I suffragettes," repeated Sal. "They are suffragists!" "Ah!" whispered the cynic. "Suffragette is a term of oppro-
bium," continued Sal, "that was cast at the militant ones in England. In this country we don't throw brickbats.
1 We simply ask for things and they are ! handed to us on a silver salver. See?" "Perfectly perfectly!" cried the j cynic. "But even a suffragist should i join the anti-tipping crusade. "Not if she's staying in a hotel and : goes back the same day," smiled Sarah sardonically. "You've got to tip or you ! don't get anything." "This thing must stop!" exclaimed
the cynic. "I myself will have a bill introduced in the next Legislature." "Pooh," said Sal," you won't do a thing. I don't know a worse tipper than you don't you remember the
j time you gave a five dollar bill to a j bell-boy in Chicago, j "I was drunk!" avowed the cynic. '; "Well, we're getting off our tack," said Sal. "It is certainly a crime and
a sin the way those people denuded me of my hard earned shekels. "I feel perfectly positive they re
tired behind some doorway and abstractedfrom the bill I gave them the half of the price for the two portions of strawberries and turkey and divided the swag between them. "When the waiter asked about the one portion of tomatoes his conscience probably smote him."
j "In common parlance," continued Sal, " 'it was a shame to take the monJey.' he may have thought." J "Sal, Sal! you need a guardian," j murmured the cynic. ; "Guardian!" exclaimed Sal. "Women
fwouldn t need guardians it men
wouldn't all the time take advantage of the fact that they are women. What the world needs is a complete change of social procedure." "Good heavens!" exclaimed the cynic, "are you a Socialist, too!" "Well whatever I am or am not," replied Sal, "I wish they'd appoint a commission to investigate a la carte menus
I and compel hotels to plat 'em out for the common or garden variety of eater instead of the cocktail set. "As they arc now they're cryptoi grams for the rounders." j "The great point is," grinned the j cynic, "did you enjoy your dinner?" "Luncheon not dinner!" corrected Sal. "But did you?" "I confess I never tasted a better," Bald Sal. "Well?" "Well?" "We seem to have exhausted the .subject." said the cynic lighting a cigarette. "No we haven't," cried Sal, "but we'll change it because I'm tired talking about things to eat. Lets talk about , constitutions." "I confess I don't follow you," murmured the cynic. "Your mental acro- ( batics are beyond me." "Oh. I don't know," replied Sal. "People have constitutions and to keep 'em up you have to eat." "Certainly logical I apologize." "But that's not the kind I'm talking CONSIGN your horses with us for the big Horse and Implement Sale, Saturday, April 13th, before Friday noon, April 12. D. E. Dennis, Auct. and Sales Mgr., Phone 51I7B. Office Cor. 9th and Main. Mt
about," went on Sarah. "I'm talking
about constitutions that govern the
ones that you have to amend to get to
vote, you know." "Truly you are a wonder," admired
the cynic. "After all you weren't so far away from the trend of our discourse."
"The other day," said Sarah, "I join
ed an organization that had just come
into being and we were getting along !
all right when a woman on the front
row arose and suggested in a low, cooing tone that we must have a constitution. "Some of those present objected. "What'd you want a constitution for?" they asked. " 'Oh,' says the woman with a superior and pitying smile, 'you must always have a constitution.' " " 'But why?' " they asked. " Oh, you must always have a constitution,' " said the woman. "'Give some reason,'" they said. "Oh, you must always have a constitution,' " said the woman. "Therefore they began to take up the matter and in a short time the whole place was in an uproar with motions, seconds, amendments to the original, withdrawls of the amendments, sub-motions, anti-amendments, post seconds and recognitions from the floor with twenty women on their feet at the same time, ogres of by-laws batting round in the offing and enough red tape in sight to tie Indiana into a bouquet and present it to Roosevelt." "Your description is certainly picturesque," smiled the cynic, "if not especially illuminating." "Why don't women have a little ini
tiative," cried Sal. "There isn't any statute in this state compelling any sort of a social organization and by that I mean in contradistinction to a corporation to have a constitution." "Its usual," interpolated the cynic. "Just what I say," returned Sal. "Its customary, not compulsory." "I knew a very successful organization," said Sal, "that was carried on for years with a secretary no consti
tution, no by laws nor all that traditional rot." "The trouble with all organizations with the government for that matter," declaimed Sal, "is that they have too complicated a machine. They spend all their time oiling it and keeping it in repair and neglect its real purpose the manufacture of some article. "Its the wily ones that want the constitution," grinned the cynic. "Exactly," said Sal. "These persons who go round joining everything always want a lot of red tape to tangle up the careless and unsophisticated ones. Then they can always rise to the occasion when a mixup is got into, explain everything, mane a motion and walk off with the organization In their pockets. "There's no sense in it," continued Sal. "Why don't people break away from tradition, from the perfunctory and hackneyed thing?" "I take it then," said the cynic, "you believe in the initiative and referendum." "I don't care anything about the referendum," cried Sal. "But I'm ready to take the initiative on the constitution
business and execute the recall. "Good!" eaid the cynic. "You know more about politics than I thought you did." "That isn't politics." said Sal. "Its common sense."
Attention is called to the meeting of the Franchise League on Wednesday afternoon, April 10th, at half past four
o'clock in the Commercial Club rooms, the time having been changed from
Tuesday at the same time and place.
You will look a good while before you find a better medicine for coughs and colds than Chamberlain's Cough Remedy. It not only gives relief it cures. Try it when you have a cough or cold, and you are certain to be pleased with the prompt cure which it will effect. For sale by all dealers.
ADDITIONAL SOCIETY
PENNY SUPPER. A Penny Supper will be given Wednesday evening at the First Methodist church by the members of the Aid Society of the church. The public is invited to attend. The supper given recently by the society was very successful about twentyeight dollars being realized.
Fish and Brain. The saying that fish is the best brain food . come of an old long tongue windbag years ago saying: "Thought Is impossible without phosphorous." So a Swiss chemist, knowing that flsb contained phosphorous, put two and two together, and brought forth a saying that will never die.
She Knew All Right. "You don't know what thafs a picture of. Johnny?" said Mrs. Lasping in a tone of reproof. "You ought to read your ancient history more. That is the temple of Dinah at Emphasis." Chicago Tribune.
Water bills due April 1.
l-10t
Bilious? Co To Your Doctor Stir up your liver a little, just enough to start the bile nicely. One of Ayer s Pills at bedtime is all you need. These pills act directly on the liver. Made for the treatment of constipation, biliousness, dyspepsia, sick-headache. Ask your doctor if he knows a better pill for a sluggish liver. Then follow his advice kw;fr"w
MISSIONARY SOCIETY. The Friends Missionary society will meet in Earlhara Hall with Miss Snepp Wednesday afternoon at '.wo fifteen o'clock. This will be "Guest Day."
EPWORTH LEAGUE. The Epworth League of the First Methodist church will give a social
Wednesday evening in the church par-lors.
ALL DAY MEETING. An all-day meeting of the Ladies Aid society of the Reld Memorial church will be held Wednesday In the church parlors. Lunch will be served at noon. After luncheon a business session will be held.
Usually the Case. The husband may be boss of his own house, but his wife usually conceals the fact from bis knowledge until he forgets about It. St. Louis Tost-Dis-patch. The best preparation for the future is the present well seen to, tie last duty well done.
The net number of alien immigrants into England last year was 18.S36 as against 13,143 the year before.
Rat Bis-Kit Paste Th new Poison in the Tub Just prea tube, potion tpreadi itself. Uaeon any kind of bait. Guaranteed to exterminate rata, mice, roaches 1 or money rounded. Full site tube 25eatoti druegistior from ua. (Send coin or tamps.) THE RAT BISCUIT CO. N. LimottoM S Spri
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ii Now Have It I I At Home 11 Post Tavern Special J J (t J an attractive blend of the full, rich I I J I flavors of wheat, corn and rice; to be v 1 1 I cooked and served hot. 1 I I This pleasing food was first served 1 J 1 exclusively at the famous Post Tavem 1 I , in Battle Creek, where it met with 1 immediate favor. I It is now supplied by grocers for I V I your own table. I I Easy to Prepare v I Economical and Delightful vxT Tomorrow9 s Breakfast ) Made by Postum Cereal Co., Ltd., Pure Food Factories C Battle Creek. Mich. J
Our Spring Millinery Don't put off buying that Spring Hat another day. Make your selection from our big stock. New and up-to-date 'styles at prices to suit you.
Brower's 6TH & MAIN
KRONE & KENNEDY
esfn ITS
Ctrotidrt Mli, JUfnd M ft Cat. Price $10 to $27.50
FASHIONABLE NOT NOISY WE STOP THERE
We give you here the style, tone and color. We make a feature here of clothes that are finer than you will get anywhere else. We give you tailored clothes and only such as we can recommend to you.
We show a nobby, nifty, stylish line of Boys and children's clothes. Price $3.00 to $10.00
K 0ne Price l&.Clothers K "Furnishers
Krone (Si
803 Main Street
You'll Do Better at Druitt Brothers'
D RUSTT9g New Spring Designs in Go-Carts and Baby Carriages Brim Full of Little Style Touches That Make Them Just What the Feminine Mind Is Looking For Right Now
Carriages and Go-Carts Shown in All Colors, French Grey, Baronial Brown, Carmine, Green, Tan and Blue
Carriages Priced at S9.50, $12, SI 5, $20, $25, $30, up. Collapsible Carts at $4.98, $6.50, $8, $10, 12, up. DRUITT BROTHERS
Character and Smartness Are Noticeable in the Tourist Carts Each cart Is designed to cause the child to want It when he sees St and be proud of it when he gets it.
627-629 Main St.
A London judge has decided that a purchaser of forged postage stamps has no remedy against the seller.
No More Distress After Meals Because HOSTETTER'S STOMACH BITTERS prepares the stomach to receive food, assists digestion and assimilation and keeps the bowels open. YOU SHOULD TRY IT TODAY
NOTICE TO CONTRACTORS AND BUILDERS The Foster Construction Co., bar opened a factory for the manufacture of Cement Blocks. Copings. Porch Columns. Caps Sills, etc., at The Old Mill Works. They hare a complete outfit of modern machinery and are using nothing but washed and graded materials In all their work. If you are a contractor it will pay you to use the best materials obtainable. If you are going , to build it will pay you to insist that your contractor use the Foster Construction Co.'s products. Would . be pleased to have call at Factory and inspect their Products or call phones: Res. 2329 or Factory 3406. Toric Kryptok Lenses The Finest Made At HANER'S F. H. EDMUNDS, Optometrist
SACRIFICE SALE 45 S. C. White Orpington Hens and Pullets, $1.50 and $2.00 per head. Get first choice. A. R. Howser. 619 So. 9th St, City
...SEEDS...
Now Ready! Get them at the store which handles the variety at lowest prices. FLOWER SEEDS IN BULK You get twice as much by buying this way. Sweet Pea Seeds. 5c an ounce. Garden Seeds and Onion Sets.
GEO. BREHM CO. 517 MAIN. PHONE 1747 Open Every Evening.
SPITFIRE RAG TWO-STEP The raggedest rag of them all. It's got the ring. It's got the swing. Try it. Sent postpaid for 10c. Roy Allen. KltcbeL Ind.
SOMETHING NEW Canned, Mixed J,00
vegeiaDies lor soop, per can
COOPER'S GROCERY
See- Brown & Darnell!
We repair lawn mowers, baby cabs, clothes wringers, hot plates, gasoline stoves; make and repair screen doors and windows; frame your pictures. In fact we repair anything and everything that can be repaired. 1020 Main St.
We carry a full line of Mazda Tungsten lights, gas amps, all kinds of mantles, sidewalk roller skates, and have the most up-to-date line cf bicycles in the city. We call for and deliver all goods. i
Phone 1936
THE CHESAPEAKE A. OHIO RAILWAY OF INDIANA LEAVING TIME OF TRAINS AT RICHMOND, IND. Effective January 7th, 1912; Subject to Change Without Notice 7:22 p. m. DAILY, Limited for Cincinnati, Richmond, Norfolk, Virginia and North Carolina points. 8:35 a. m. DAILT, Local for Cincinnati, connecting with P. P. V. Limited for the EasL 4:15 v. m DAILY. Local for Cincinnati. 12:15 p. m. (noon) DAILY Limited for Chicago and West. 10:40 a. m. DAILY. Local for Chicago. 8:10 p. m. DAILY, Local for Chicago. Sleeping. Observation-Parlor, and Dining Ctrl on limited Train. -Sleeping Cars on Night Trains.
CYCLONES and WINDSTORMS WILL COME but DOUGAN, JENKINS & CO. Will Protect You Against Loss From Them. PHONE 133a Room 1, I. O. O. F. Building
OUR COFFEE Is Roasted Every Day at the Store It Will Please You H. G. Hadley
WANTED YOUR MACHINE AND REPAIR WORK BALLINGER A GIBBS MACHINISTS REAR 220 LINCOLN STREET . Phone 304O er 31SS
RAICHEA Sapcrfor Electric Fixtures Direct
matter io ymm
Craighead It Mala 8L
PlamMng fVi A Electric 3,
1223
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