Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 37, Number 38, 19 December 1911 — Page 16

THE RICHMOND PALLADIUM AN1 SUM -TLGBAM, TUESDAY, DECEMBER 19, 1911.

TRIBUNE EXPLODES FALLACYJF GRAY Sarcastically Criticises Position of Congressman On Pension Bill

Relative to the position which Congressman Finly H. Gray took upon the Sherwood pension bill, the Chicago Tribune editorially makes the following criticism:

THE AMATEUR FALLACY. Among the reasons advanced in the 1ioue for passing the Sherwood pension bill is the following brought forth out of the stateHmanly intellect of the Hon. Finly H. Gray or Indiana. The Sherwood bill, Mr. Gray asserts, "would enable us to cut down our expenditures for the army and navy, Slow in time of peace costing the government in round numbers-. $300,000,000 unnually, and by a policy or liberal pensions enable us to depend upon volunteer soldiers who in every "war have proven our bravest defender and most valiant soldiers." The record that this remark was jHinctured by applause. We should Hike to believe that this applause was ironical. I)ut probably it was not. There is too much rtason to believe that the Jjouse numbers very many members who are as blissfully ignorant of what (modern war means as the lion. Finly uH. Gray. Congress refuses to surrender the comfortable theory that if n army should dare to invade the land of the free and the home of the brave Pwe would simply go out on the back iporch, blow the dinner horn, and get m army fit to light another Lexington. And we would. But fortunately we psvould not be fighting in the eighteenth century. The ingenuous belief that we have a tionopoly of "brave defenders" and vnllant soldiers," the memory of the Ballantry of our volunteers in the revolution, in Mexico, in the civil war, the notion that all we need is courtage and zeal to win battles -all this Jputs us in a pleasant state of confluence and enthusiasm. But it prevents our representatives from legislating intelligently on army and navy matters. Modern war is not for amateurs. 9io war ever was since war left the stage of individual conflict. And no amount of generosity to veterans will relieve us rrom the necessity and the cost of reasonable preparedness.

ERIN'S ANCIENT KINGS.

Untimely Death Was the Rule For Monarch of Old Ireland. "lis ould Olreland can bate them nil, begorra. when it comes to talkin' or kings and coronations! For there was probably a king of Ireland when Noah was building his ark. There certainly was one In 1300 B. C. To be sure, though, Ireland's nncient monarchs mostly came to unhappy ends, either dying of the plague, being assassinated or killed In battle, says London Answers. For Instance, King Lughaidb. who reigned In the second century, was killed by being thrust through the eye with a spear during a conspiracy. His successor, Feargus, was assassinated by order of the next comer. Cormae-

Ulfhnda, whe. however, was merely -choked to death by a fish bone at upper. "Slain by his successor," Indeed, was the fate of rery many Irish kings, but of Congal Cionmaghalr, who died in 033, it Is simply but eloquently recorded that he "died suddenly." He was "cruel persecutor of the Irish hurch." In 398 King Dathy was killed by a thunderbolt, while King Connor died of grief In 837. And one of the greatest of them all. the valiant Brian Iloroihtue, was assassinated in J014 while at prayer after he had defeated the Danes at Clontarf. It Is hardly surprising to learn that four of Erin's kiugs resigned their crowns to become peaceful, cloistered monks.

Wator Neoessary For Crops. A grass plant will in the course of a hot day exhale' its own weight of water, and a young leaf of wheat or rye exposed to the sun may even exhale Its own weight In an howr. Experiments summarized by Storer indicate that "more than 300 pound of water pass through a plant and are transpired from Its leaves for every pound of dry matter fixed or assimilated by the plaut." In Wisconsin. King fouud the mean amount of water used by barley, oats, corn, clover, pens and potatoes In producing a ton of dry matter ranged from "TO tons for corn to B76 tons for clover, "the average for the six crops being nearly 450 tons, or four acre Inches for each ton of dry matter." Agricultural Department Xear Book.

The Magnetic Needle. There are two places on the earth's surface where the magnetic needle must point due south. They are not easy places to reach. One is In the rctlc regions north of the northern magnetic iole. on the line between that pole and the geographical north pole. The other is In the antarctic regions, south of the southern magnetic pole, on the line between that spot and the geographical south pole. In the first case the point of the needle is attracted to the northern magnetic pole. In the second case the other end of the needle Is attracted to the southern magnetic pole.

Reasonable Fear. "John, Is that you?" "Yesb. Mary." "What In the world are you doing down there? Why dont you come up to bed?" Tm afraid of gettin' hurt on these darned rerolrln' stalrsh." Chicago Record-Herald.

China's new cotton mill is the only sue In the country. It was built by the Japanese. The machinery la operated bjr electricity-

For the Children

The Joyous Winter Season, When Skating Time Arrives.

HE STOPPED SHORT.

V VI J hi

Reason For the Peculiar Signature on the Hotel Register. Many peculiar signatures in the course of a season find themselves upon the register of a hotel. There are foreign fists of all sorts in script that none but the Kytka could unravel. The most curious of all. however, was placed on the book only recently. It is this: "Wm." Only that and nothing more! There is no surname, no address.

! nothing at all but just "Wm."

This is the way it happened: A well dressed man entered the bo-

I tel the other day and followed his

bags to the desk. The remaster wns swung around into position for him and a pen handed Iiim by the gentlemanly desk clerk. Then, in a free, swinging hand, he wrote the accepted

POWER OF AN AUDIENCE. Influence It Exerts Over an Actor or a Speaker. Xo ora:or living was ever great enough to give out the same power

WASHING AWAY THE LAND. Erosion of the Drainage Basins of the United States. Investigations by the United States geological surrey of the erosion of

and force and macpietism to an empty i numerous drainage basins of the Unithall, to empty sen's, that he could give j States show that the surface of the to an audience capable of being fired; country is being removed at the averby his tbeme. j ape rate of about an inch in 760 years. Ia the presence of the audience lies j Though this amount seems trivial a fascination, an indefinable magnet- j when spread over the surface of the Ism. that stimulates all the mental fac- j country, it becomes stupendous when ultles and acts as a tonic and vitalizer. considered as a total or even in sep-

An orator tan sny before an audience ' what he oould not possibly have said ; previous to going on the platform, just , as we can often say to a friend in ' animated conversation things which i we could not possibly say when alone. As when two chemicals are united a new substance is formed from the combination which did not exist in eithor alone, the speaker feels surging ,

Taxed the Beards. Peter the Great of Russia levied a tax on beards. Finding that his subjects were disposed to keep their beards at any expense of money, he ordered all those be found bearded to haTe the hair plucked out with pincers or shaved with a blunt razor. Russia then became a beardless nation.

abbreviation of his first name. "Wm." j through his brain the combined force As if a thought had suddenly oc-' of his audience, which he calls inspl-

arate drainage basins. The Mississippi river, for instance, carries annually to the sea 130.400,000 tons of dissolved matter and 340,500.000 tons of suspended matter, and of this total the Ohio river carries S3.350.000 tons and the Missouri river contributes more than twice as much. The Colorado river, which has built up for itself a

vast delta, brings down more suspend- a

ed matter than any other river in the

United States, delivering annually 38"

Suspicious. Rank President Wuafs the matter? Rack Vice President I was just thinking. I sat next to our cashier in church yesterday, and I don't quite like the way he sings "Will they miss me when I'm gone?" Puck.

Seizing the Opportunity. Crabshaw If you insist on this new gown I'll have to get it ou credit. Mrs. Crabshaw As long as it's going to be charged, dear. I may as well gt

more expensive one. Life.

he stopped writing and ration, a mighty power which did not i tons for each square mile of its drain-

When Jack Frost comes down from tle north he blows his icy breath on the waters and congeals them into glassy plains. Then the young folks are happy, for skating time has come. Doubtless Santa Claim will remember uiauy of his young friends with the present of a fine pair of skates, and they'll surely be appreciated and put to good use. There are few sports that afford more pleasure than a spin over the smooth surface of lake or stream ou sbiniug steel. It is a healthful and invigorating exercise, and the keen wind paints roses ou the cheeks. Pictured above is a little girl ou her first attempt at skating. She is as yet uncertain, but soon she will master the art and flit away with grace and speed, astonished .that what seemed so difficult wns so easily learned.

j curred to him

looked up. "What do you charge for a single room here by the day?" he asked. "Three, four, five and six dollars," answered the clerk. "Ain't you got no dollar rooms?" "No. we have no dollar rooms. Three, four, five and six."

"Gosh!" he said, and he didn't look the part either. "This is no place for j me. Gimme my luggage." j And he sneaked out of the hotel as j one who had trodden on sacred ground. ! Which is why on the register today Is the mid signature: I

"Wm." San Francisco Chronicle.

exist in his own personality before he rose to his feet. No public speaker ever forgets that first surprising feelin:; of confidence. Actors tell us that there is an indescribable Inspiration which comes from

Poverty Is the sixth sense,-Proverb.

-German

age basin or a total of 100.740,000

tons. The rivers of the United States carry to tidewater every year 270.000.000 tons of dissolved matter and 513,000,UOO tons of susiended matter. This

Sure. "How did the doctor ten you to takm

the medicine, Larry Internally or ex

ternally?" "Nayther wan. sor." "But it must hare been one of torn other." "Divil a bit. sor. Nayther wan." "But look here. Larry; that's absurd. It must have been one or the other, you know." "Nayther wan. I tell ye. He toold me to snuff it up me nose." St Louis Republic TURKEYS, TURKEYS, TURKEY. We will have Plenty of Turkeys. Ducks. Geese, and Chickens lor the Holidays. Remember we buy all our Poultry alive, and dress it ourselves, this insures you of a nice fresh healthy fowl. Schwegman's, 2 Meat Markets. 3 Phones. 18-6t

Economy Is half the battle of Hf It is not so hard to earn money as 0 spend It welL Spurgeon.

Result. of the Talk. "What did you think of the marriage service?" "It was a fruitful talk." "What do you mean?" "The bride got a lemon." New York Press.

ence. which it is impossible to reel at a cold mechanical rehearsal. There in something in a great sea of expectant faces which awakens the ambition and arouses the reserve of power which can never be felt except before an audience. The power was there just the same before, but it was not aroused. Success Magazine.

the orchestra, the footlights, the audi-i total of 7S3.O00.OOO tons represents j

more than 350.000,000 cubic yards of; rock or 610,000,000 cubic yards of sur-: face soil. If this erosive action had ; been concentrated on the isthmus of j Panama at the time of American oc-' cupation it would have excavated the

prism for an eighty-five foot level canal in about seventy-three days.

PATIENCE. When I think of it I perceive that Patience is our fairy godmother, who brings us our harvests in the long result. George Meredith.

Havana tobacco always has the call, but the cultivated weed of Venezuela has a good flavor for smoking. Venezuela is such a fine country for tobacco, the fragrant weed grows wild and makes pretty fair smoking. New York Press.

II Your Bed is Uncomfortable Don't think that this is one of the discomforts

which must be endured. Just try

"Puritan Rest Easy" Double Deck Springs You will be surprised to find that a bed could be made so comfortable and luxurious. Be sure you make no mistake. Each of the

27o finely tempered gold-bronze springs arranged in two layers (or decks) is a necessary factor in producing the most comfortable bed in the world. YOUR RICHMOND FURNITURE DEALER CAN SUPPLY YOU. If not. write us and we will give you the names of those who can.

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The Beginnings of Thing. The names of our writing materials

were applied to them ou account of the materials from which they were origi-;

nally made. But, while we retain their names, the materials have all changed. For instance, paper is no longer made of papyrus. A pencil is not a little

tail, "penicillus." like a camel's hair i brush. The "lead" of a lead pencil is j not lead, and the "india rvbber" with j which we erase ink and lead marks never did come from India. The quill I pen survives to remind us that the j original pen was plucked from a bird. !

In the German language a "feder" is a feather, and that is the name they give their pens, while the French call theirs "plume," also the real name for a feather. Our "pen" suggests a feather only when we choose to think about the Latin "penna." Philadelphia Ledger.

Johnny's Composition. If there is one thing more than another I am fond of it is turkey. I have a perfect mania for fowls of every description except in baseball. I like turkey fowl, not foul play. I have made a study of the turkey, and I consider it a wonderful bird. It attends to its own business and never bothers about ours. It fnttens up for us and does itself up good aud brown for our appetites. That reminds me of a riddle. When is a turkey like an English poet? M'hen it is Browning. I like tnrkey better than poetry. You can eat the one. I'm glad Christmas Is coming. The Girl and the Ducks. Some years ago. when a little Mil

waukee girl wns three years old. her father bought some ducks, which were put in with the chickens. The next' morning the little one went to see j them and, naturally, they quacked when she nenred the gate, so she: turned and walked briskly tip the yard

and back to the gate again, when they would again quack. She did this several times, when finnlly she was heard to say. "Well. I did walk." She had understood them to say "walk."

About Christmas. While we are celebrating our Christmas festivities it is interesting to give a thought of how we came to have such customs. Not every one knows, for instance, that our Santa Claus came from Holland, our Christmas tree from Germany, the Christmas stocking from Belgium and France, while the universal greeting. "Merry Christmas:" was shouted from one to another by the English many years ago.

Liking and Loving. "Oh." said a very small girl. "I did have such a lovely Christmas: Dolls Ind candy, and" "Which did you like the best the Bolls or the candy?" "Strange folks don't know." was the reply. "I liked the candy, but I loved the dollies."

Santa Claus. len't It just the queerest thins That Santa is so shy? We can never, never catch him. No matter how we try. It isn't "any use to watch. Because my mamma said That Santa Claus will only come When children are in bed. -St. Nicholas

Sore Throat Don'ts. When the children have sore throat, don't blister their necks with lamp oil. Don't torture them with a foul smelling piece of fat meat, wrapped about the neck. Don't imagine there is medical virtue in an old sock or piece of red flannel. Don't believe in antiquated superstitions. A sore throat is a serions matter and ia not to be healed by such make-believe rem

edies. The use of such methods is simply putting the patient to needless torture. Use a little sore throat wisdom and give them TONSIUNB and the throat will heal quickly. 25 cents and 50 cents. Hospital Sue 1100. All Druggists.

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