Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 36, Number 110, 27 February 1911 — Page 8

rAGK EIGHT

TILE RICH310XD PALLAD1D3I AND SUX-TELE6RAM, MONDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 191

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ALARMS THE LEGISLATURE Announcement of Federation's Ultimatum Strikes Terror to Democratic Leaders in Assembly. (Continued from Page One.) not too radical last wanted our votes to fall when (hey defeat BcverIdge." "It la not organized labor alone to which we are going to appeal, but to all the people. We intend to npolni. a committee of ten In every innti'a Atr.trb't who hat. optioned us, an I dopin us. no matter what bin politics find that committee- will make it n liolnt to tell the people, of .that rian'a rerord Ibis session, of what e was asked to do and what, he did do. We do not Intend to misrepresent os the t!Kiients of our mcasurta have done. AW intend to distribute thcunii nds of t! bills we presented tor consideration and leave it to tru people 1 they were not fair. "Thrrw hat been more lying a'wrt our Measure than was ever knon:i in n In;l9lu'are. Kvery bill we ha preaenfed has been misrepresented to the press and to the public. The pros as a rule, especially the ne':ipapers of Indianapolis that have own on the ground, have not been fooled by this campaign of misrepresentation but outside papers have been misled. Kvery newspaper In Indianapolis knows this legislature has been handled by the corporations. "We do not Intend to confine our work to the Democrats. Republicans who pretended to be our friends lasr fall have come up here and voted against us every time they had a chance. In fact some of the worst enemies our bills have are among Republicans. We are going after them too. Labor Is getting tired of being fooled and we are in a position in Indiana to throw the balance of power. If we decide both old parties are eontrolled by corporations we will form a labor party. The Democrats have this week to come through." It Caused a Scurry. After the publication In the Sun Saturday of the proposed state meeting of organized labor delegates there was a scurrying among the Democrats both great and small. Efforts were made, after the story was verified by them, to havo the meeting called off. Falling In this, they asked that the soft pedal be applied at the meeting. This also failed. Then the leaders in either house began to blame the other branch, Just as the Sun said would be the program, after the legislature adjourned. Senate leaders said "We have practically finished our work. It Is the house that Is holding things up." The house has no organization, no leadership, and Is making a mess of things. Of course v regret It but we ' cannot help it. All platform measures put up to us have been passed, with but few exceptions, and we have originated many measures and Bent them to the house long ago. What arc we to do? tiouno leaders said. "It Is the senate. See what they havo done to the child labor bill for example. Whenever we do pass a good bill along comes the senate and rips it to pieces. And whenever the senate pusses a good bill, we are immediately besieged by a lot of senators who say, 'For God's sake kill that bill in the house; we had to pass It but we don't want It a law. If you fellows kill it we will take care of your personal bills In the senate, but If you pass it we will not pass a single house bill other than platform measures.' Now what is a member of the house to do?" At the best, it Is a bad mess and every Democrat of any power or prominence is at work trying to get order out of chaos and see the week end with platform measures passed In some satisfactory form. Caucuses of twos and dozens were held all day Sunday and steering committees and sub-steering committees, ad inlnitum were appointed to break the deadlock that now exists and whip things through during the next few days. Hut the expression of gloom which has settled upon their faces docs not Indicate their efforts have proved successful up to date. Arc Very Disgusted. So disgusted are two or three of the Democratic senators over the situation and its apparent hopeless ness that although they have another term to serve they now claim they will go home and resign, both as a sign of their protest against the manner of running things this session and their desire to get rid of the burden of trying to please the people, carry out their party pledges and yet obey the behests of the party leaders. "I have found you can't be square with your people and get any place. said one of them Sunday. "Your bills are held up or killed and you are sin gled out as an object of abuse and criticism by your own party leaders. pledged to do the very things you are trying to do. It has been an experi ence to me, but I have had enough. I am going home and tender my resig nation and tell the people why." CARD OF THANKS. We wish to thank our friends and neighbors for the kindness shown at tho death of our beloved and dear bus band and father, the flowers and acts of sympathy after funeral. Mrs. John vurwk And daughter

FEDERAL PAROLE SYSTEMJS GOOD Through Its Humanitarian Influence Many Reclaimed to Citizenship. BY JONATHAN WIN FIELD. Washington, Feb. 27 Far more reaching in its practicability than other means of prison reform is the federal parole system recently instituted by the department of justice. Through its humanitarian influence more prisoners have been reclaimed to citizenship than has been thought possible by tho government authorities, who have had experience in matters or this kind. The federal parole system was constructed Uon tho experience of the various states of the union which have similar methods of treatment for prisoners. It is under the direct supervision of Attorney General Wickersham and Robert V. La Dow superintendent of federal prisons. The law governing the application of parole to prisoners treats all alike whether the convicts have been men of prominence or ordinary jailbirds. It at plies to every prisoner held in a federal prison, convicted of an offense

against the I'nited States sentenced to serve a term of one year or more and who has served one-third of the term for which he was sentenced. The board is composed of the sup erintendent of federal prisons, and the warden and physician of each United States penitentiary. The procedure of the board is subject to the approv al of the attorney general. It meets at the various federal penitentiaries in January, May and September of each year. Making Applications. Applications for parole are made by the prisoners in writing on blanks provided by the board. In cases where the applicant cannot read or write, the contents of the application are read and explained to him before his mark is affixed. No application, however , receives consideration unless the prison records show that the applicant has been continuously in the first or highest grade for at least six months immediately preceding the date of the application. In case of short term prisoners, who may be eligible for parole before the ex plration of six months' imprisonment, they must have been continuously in the first or highest grade from the date of their admission to the prison An application which has once been denied by the board of parole is not considered again unless new evidence is obtained, which makes it advisable to do bo. Under the procedure of the board, attorneys are debarred from ap pearing for a person desiring parole. Prisoners are not released on par ole until satisfactory evidence is fur nished that the prisoner, will . engage In some respectable business for him self, or that arrangements have been made for the reputable and steady employment of the prisoner, or until some person agrees to act as his first friend or adviser, and further agrees to employ the prisoner or use his ef forts to secure suitable employment for him. Prisoners cannot be parol ed who have indictments pending against them in any judicial district of the United States, nor be granted parole if wanted in any state or terri tory for violation of parole. The duties of "first friend" to the paroled convict are determined by the board. He must agree to employ or obtain employment for the prisoner, and promise to report the unnecessary absence from work, intemperance, bad association, or other violations of any condition of the parole that the pris oner might make. When the prisoner is paroled he is furnished with a cert ideate, issued under seal by the president of the board of parole, and approved by the attorney general. Cannot Leave State. nen released, the prisoner re ports to his "first friend" or adviser He cannot go out of Hie state where he is employed, except upon written permission granted by the president of the board of parole. If he does, he is subject to arrest. W hlle under pro bation, the prisoner, takes a written report to the warden of the peniten tlary from which he was released ev cry month. It must show his general conduct and associations for the month, name his employer, occupation number Of days employed, number of days not "employed and the reasons therefore, amount of money earned amount received and the amount ex pended. As the board of parole has a warm and friendly interest in the we! fare of paroled prisoners, one object or these reports is to enable it to know in what manner it can best promote their welfare. Willful failure on the part of the paroled prisoner to reply promptly to letters of inquiry from the president of the board may be sufficient reason for revoking the parole. Paroles are not granted except upon the understanding that the prisoner agrees that he will not, during the term of parole, frequent saloons or other places where Intoxicating liq uors or beverages are sold, that he will not associate with persons of bad reputation, that he will in ail respect conduct himself honorably, and work diligently for himself and employer, and that he will live without violating the laws. From the time that the prisoner Is released from the penitentiary the board of parole aids him in every way to "make good." The fact that he i released from the institution or where he is to reside remains a secret. Ev ery possible means is taken to clear the convict of his former reputation and everything done to give him new start In life. At the department of justice where the records In every individual case are recorded, absolute prohibition I maintained In respect to sivins out

NEW "PASHA" SKIRT;

LIKE "HAREM" SKIRT Photograph of a model wearing the new Pasha skirt, sister of the Harem skirt, which created such a sensation on its first. Parisian appearance. The trouser idea, is the principal feature of the new creation. any information relative to a paroled man. This step was taken by Mr. La Dov and the attorney general for the best interests of the prisoners, and be cause of complaint received from the prisoners themselves. In several in stances, it is said, the men preferred to live out their sentences, rather than have the facts in their case made public again. Numbers of prisoners convicted of offenses against the United States arc held in state institutions. The law of parole also extends to them. In speaking of the working of the parole system, Mr. La Dow says that the law is one of the best cures for degeneracy that has been discovered by the federal government since congress has been established. Its farreaching effects, he declared, are seen in every state in the union, where former convicts are now living exemplary lives. THE WESTCOTT BARBER SHOP. Why a Man Should Patronize Our Shop. Personality counts, proper location is a big thing, but up-to-the-minute sanitary equipments in our business like in others, counts for more than all else combined. The Allspaw Towel Heater and Ster ilizer, with razor sterilizing attachment, is a thoroughly modern, practi cal, useful and sanitary equipment, a friend to the barber, a luxury to the trade. It hands out a hot towel with every shave, which is an impossibility without a sterilizing cabinet. By its use you can please the public by serving a hot towel with each shave. The towels are not the wet, sabby and scalding sort that burn the barber and customer, too, but are refreshing, in vigorating, and being well heated and bathed in steam, stimulate the pores, soften the beard and add a pleasing touch to the shave. To be convinced, give us a call. 27-lt Origin of Plum Duff. This is the origin of plum duff, ae.ording to the captain of au Atlantic tuor: "One Christmas day, hundreds of years ago at sea, a ship in a stcrm was swept by a comber that carried off her cook, her crate of chickens, her turkeys in a word, the whole raw material of her Christmas dinner. "But the sailors were determined to have at least some sort of Christmas pudding. They knew nothing about cooking, and they drew lots for their new cook. The lot fell to the boatswain's mate. "This chap fished up a cookbook from the bottom of his sea chest. lie ran over the pudding recipes and chose one that began: 'Make a stiff dough. "He made a pudding after this recipe. It was stuffed with Malaga raisins and covered with a rich sauce. The men were delighted. " 'Put a name to it.' they said. Tut a name to it. "And the boatswain's mate, knowing that T-o-u-g-u was pronounced Tough" and thinking 'd-o-u-g-h followed the same rule, answered readily: " 'It's called duff, mates. " Settled the Sacristan. A matter of fact sacristan of the Cathedral of Berlin once wrote the king of Prussia this brief note: Sire 1 acquaint your majesty, first, that there are wanting- books of psalms for the royal family. 1 acquaint your majesty, second, that there wants wood to warm the-royal seats. 1 acquaint your majesty, third, that the balustrade next the river, behind the church, is become ruinous. SCHMIDT. Sacrist of the Cathedral. The reply of the king was not that of a "gracious majesty." Its stiff formality la imitating the style of the sacristan probably was not taken by the receiver as complimentary to him: I acquaint you. Herr Sacrtst Schmidt, first, that those who want to sins may buy books. Second. I acquaint Herr Sacrist Schmidt that those who want te be warm must buy wood. Third. I acquaint Herr Sacrist Schmidt that I shall not trust any Ion err to the balustrade r.ext the river. And I acquaint Hrr Sacrtst Schmidt, fourth, that I wlil not bare any more correspondence with him.

News Forecast For Coming Week

Washington, D. C, Feb. 27. The final week of the congressional session is at hand. Tho Sixty-first Congress came to an end at noon Saturday, when a large number of important bills of general import and thousands of private measures died a natural death. An exciting political campaign that has kept Chicago astir for several months will culminate in the general primaries Tuesday, when both parties will nominate their candidates for mayor. Five Republicans and three Democrats are in the field for the mayoralty nominations. Republicans and Democrats, of Michigan will hold their State conventions during the week for the nomination of candidates for the minor State offices to be filled 9t the election this spring. The Democrats will meet at Muskegon Wednesday and the Republicans at Saginaw the following day. Both conventions win be made occasions i or tno noiaing ot large party rallies, t After a truce of ten days the senatorial contest is to be resumed in the Aew iorK general assembly on Mon-; day. In several of the other States j me triiaionai aeaaiocKs win continue to attract public attention. ! i Kooin, me promoter whom a judge and jury declined to be-1 lieve insane, will be placed on trial i in New York, Monday to answer to the charge of grand larceny of the funds of the several banks in which he was interested. Tuesday, the day before the beginning of Lent, has been selected for the SALODNIST ARRESTED Charged with Operating Slot Machine. For permitting an alleged gambling machine to operate in his saloon, Geo. Brucker, running a bar on West Main street, was arraigned in police couit this morning. He plead not gufty and asked for a continuance until tomorrow, which was granted. Brucker claims he has a legal uachine, one which gives value received for every coin placed in the slor. It is said that Patrolman Westenberg tested the machine and did r.ot get value received. The mayor said it made no difference whether or not chewing gum was received, the machine was a gambling device. Zimmerman said he had promised to drive these machines out of town, ami he intended to do so. ' HIGH SCHOOL NEWS Prof. Thompson, of the. botany department returned yesterday from Anderson, where he spoke before the Commercial club on trees, illustrating it by pictures taken by himself. He also took several pictures of the Anderson shade trees. Prof. Kelly," of the science department, will give an illustrated lecture on the work of the weather bureau on Wednesday evening in the auditorium. Dr. Dennis, of Earlham, will speak at chapel Wednesday morning. The orchestra will also render a musical program. The basketball team was defeated by Marion at that place last Friday evening by the score of 29 to 18. The team will go to Connersville Friday to play the team of that place. Besides this game they have just two more games to finish the season. Alice Vogelsong's team won the girl's basketball game Saturday after noon by a large score. After the game there was a large "feed" served. Sev eral members of the faculty and about lhirty-five girls were present. Prof. Waldrip. of the history de partment, will talk to the debaters of the school tomorrow afternoon on the Commission Plan of Government. This is the subject for the debates between Marion and Kokomo. Next week Dr. Lyons will talk to the class on the art of debating. The Pedestrian club is planning to give a play next month for a scholarsnip iuna. mis iund win be used in assisting tnose wno are inianeiaiiy unable to finish school. Miss Tallant. who Is at tlie head of the movement, says mat mere, are several wno drop out towards the last of their terms because they cannot Afford to keep on and a little fund like this will assist materially. TOWNSHIPS ARE TO FILE INVENTORIES An inventory of the property holdings of the different townships of the county will be filed with the state board of accounts by the different township trustees within the next ten days, the blanks for the inventory being received by the township officials on Monday. In general the information asked for by the state board is as follows: Inventory the school buildings and grounds; financial report of the personal proper ty, personal property of the township and the debt of the township. These general heads are divided up into several divisions under more specific sub heads. The reports will be of value, making it possible for both the state officials and township officers and public keeping In close touch with conditions... UNFORTUNATE MAN TO THE INFIRMARY Robert Haines, residing at 203 South Sixth street was removed to the county infirmary on Monday. His wife deserted him a week ago, and he, suffering from rheumatism, was unable to care for himself or to employ anyone else to do so. No word has been received from his wife.

celebration of many weddings of more or lees interest. In Washington on that day Dr. Harvey W. Wiley, Chief Chemist of the Department of Agriculture, will take for his bride Miss Anna Campbell Kelton, daughter of Mrs. John C. Kelton. Of interest to New York society will be the wedding in that city of Miss Doris A. Dick, daugh-

i ter of Mr. and Mrs. J. Henry Dick, and ! Horace Havemeyer, son of the late t " Henry O. Havemeyer, the sugar magnate-. A convention of retail merchants from all the Southern States is to assemble in Nashville, Tuesday for the purpose primarily of protesting against the passage of the parcels post bill by Congress. The seventh annual conference of the American Medical Association on medical education and medical legisla tion will meet in Chicago, Wednesday for a session of three days Other events and happenings of the week that are expected to claim a share of the public attention will be the developments in the Mexican sit nation, the proceedings of the British parliament, the public discussion of the proposed reciprocity agreement between Canada and the United States, the Mardi Gras carnivals in Now Orleans Pons.! oni Mobile, the annual meeting of the Canadian Mining Institute in Quebec, the open ing of the New Brunswick legislature ana the national convention of the Brotherhood of Locomotive Engineers at Logansport; Ind. BIG CROOKS LAUDED Two Clever Confidence Men Caught in Texas. (American News Service) San Anfonio, Tex., Feb. 27. A month or. two ago two men giving their names as Martin Cane and Harry Holmes were arrested in this city charged with defrauding two farmers, using the old race track "inside information" scheme as their plan. The farmers, I. N. and T. J. Cates, being perfectly willing to make a few dollars went into the venture in the sum of $2300, giving their checks, so it is said, for that amount. However, before Cane and Holmes could clear the check Sheriff Tobin took a hand in the deal and placed the two men under arrest. Following this, came a series of legal battles, habeas corpus being resorted to on the part of the accused men to escape the grip of the law. Both were held, however, and the final trial came yesterday, when, under instruction of Judge Dwyer, Cane was acquitted. ' While- the men were held in jail here, Sheriff Tobin, believing he had two old offenders and very smooth confidence men, communicated with the police depart ments in various parts of the country. As the result of this it was discovered that Cane was wanted in Seattle, Washington on a charge of smuggling and also that his real name is Fred Alvadore a man Who has figured in a great deal of shady work on the Paci fic Coast and elsewhere in the coun try. As soon as he was acquitted here he was placed under arrest by Deputy United States Marshall, John L. Dibrell and will be taken to Seattle to face the charge of smuggling. It is believed that both Alvadore, alias Cane, and Holmes are two of an or ganized gang ot smugglers and surething" men who have been operating in the West for a number of years and that rtheir arrest will result in uncovering the entire gang, who it is al leged have dabbled in all kinds of illegal work from smuggling opium to bringing in groups of Chinamen, receiving so much per head for their part in the last named efforts. JOHNSON REFUSES A HANDSOME OFFER (American News Service) San Francisco, Feb. 27. The longdrawn out battle of words that finally resulted in the chamDionshin contest between Jack Johnson and James J. Toffrioa hirta fair t bo ronooii fore another fight for the title Is arranged. Jack Johnson has turned down Mcintosh's offer of a $30,000 purse, split 60 and 40, to meet Sam Langford Johnson says he is willing to fight if guaranteed $30,000 for his end of the purse, but not otherwise. He also objects to Eugene Corri, the London ref eree, whom Mcintosh suggested as the third man in the ring for a battle to take place in London or Paris, in Major June. PUNISHED PUPIL IN ATTACK ON TEACHER Lawrenceburg. Ind., Feb. 27. Albert Bell, age sixteen, has been bound of ; over to the grand jury to answer to the charge of assalt and battery with intent to kill. In default of bond he was brought to this city from Harrison township and placed in jaiL Young Bell waylaid his former school teacher, Miss Ruth Fell, age eighteen, who is teaching in the Johnson Fork school house in Harrison township, and attacked her with a club because she had punished him. Miss Fell was knocked down and painfully injured. Arithmetic to Date. Kw, If you love me Just one-half As much as I lore you Just add your half to my whole lore. Twill equal love for two. Quoth Bhe. "At figures I am dull. And fractions are a bore. But for your sake I'll cancel all For love forevermore." She tliea from multiplying beaus Subtracted every thought. An undivided love she rave To one who proved but naught. . . "dow.

A LONESOME DRUNK

SERENADES POLICE Sweet Midnight Melody Dis turbs Silence at Police Headquarters. The night sergeant, big and heavy, was tipped back in the chair, with his feet cocked on the window and his green shade pulled far over his eyes, concealing their dreamy expression. "Whitey" was peacefully slumbering in another corner of police headquarters. A murmur of song came through the halls. White opened one eye and' looked at Winters, but the latter never moved. "Tis but the wind," said he. "Just another drink or two," canie i the song distinctly this time. It was! only a part of "Whitey's" dream, or it seemed so to him, for he smiled good naturedly and continued his nap. After the music had increased in volume considerably and the soloist was handing out everything from comic opera to high masses, Winters awakened White and they cautiously crept out into the hall. Tim Kelly a well known police court character, was making the music. When he spied White and Winters, he was tickled. Holding an almost empty whiskey bottle high, ho cried: "H-Here's t-to yer 1-1-1-iver boys. U-D-Drink with me." , Tim drew four months and a half in jail when brought before the mayor this morning. He said he would be glad to get back there. PROTEST AGAINST THE PARCELS POST (American News Service) Nashville, Tenn., Feb. 27. Leading retail merchants from all sections of the South are arriving in Nashville in anticipation of the opening of the interstate convention here tomorrow. The primary purpose of the convention, as stated in the call for the gathering, is to protest against the pas sage of the parcels post bill by Congress. Age of Minimum Strength. Experiments with thousands of subjects have shown that the average man attains his maximum strength In bis thirty-first year. To Swear by and to Swear At. TJmburger cheese, so beloved by the Germans, originated In Belgium. It is extraordinarily rich, being allowed to ripen to putrefaction: hence its horrifying odor in unaccustomed nostrils. Some persons bate a saying, "Gorgonzola is a cheese to swear by, Limburger to swear at." Transparent Bodies. Perfectly transparent bodies are only visible by virtue of nonuniform Illumination, and In uniform illumination they become absolutely invisible. Blindfold. Nine persons out of ten would probably give the derivation of blind as coming directly from blind and fold from the practice of folding a cloth round the eyes, as in the game of blind man's buff. The word has, however, nothing to do with fold, but means felled or struck blind and 'might be- written blindfelled. Old Time Cowboys. In the Revolutionary war the "cowboys" were a set of Tories in Westchester county, N. Y.. popularly so called because of the brutal roughness with which they treated their Whig or rebel neighbors. Origin of Leap Year. Leap year originated with the astronomers of Julius Caesar, 46 B. CTbey fixed the solar year at 385 days G hours, comprising, as they thought, the period from one vernal equinox to another. The six hours were set aside and at the end of four years, forming a day, the fourth year was made to consist of 366 days. The day thus added was placed a day before the 24th of February, the day with us being Feb. 29. The Flying Dragon. Only one existing reptile can sustain Itself lu the air. This is the flying dragon of the East Indies. It has no real wings, but can glide from tree to tree like a flying squirrel.

M Yoni Lack ttltae for things you have in mind, call on us, get our reasonable rates and terms. Twenty years' experience has shown us how to transact this business in the best and cheapest way and satisfactorily to our customers. We make payments to suit youweekly, monthly or quarterly. Furniture, Pianos, Teams, Etc., serve as security and left in your possession. No extra charge. Extension In case of sickness, accident, etc. If unable to call, 'phone or write and we will call at your home. Loans made in all surrounding, towns. 20 Years Experience In Oar Business Sttsitte Loaum Co In Rooms Formerly Occupied By Hednanna Loam Co. 40 Colonial Building Elevator to Third Floor Cor. 7th and Main, Richmond, Ind. Phone 2560.

The Scrap Book

SHE DID IT HERSELF. H Was a Good Job, Too, but Her Hui band Didn't Appreciate It. A Philadelphia nan who may bo designated as Mr. Blank was asked by 'tis wife the other day to aid in removing inside shutter from windows throughout the bouse so that they could be washed. Betng In a hurry, he asked his better half to defer the matter until his return from the office. "I'll do it myself, was ber retort. "Don't. was Mr. B.'s counsel as he departed; "women don't understand such work." This of course only more firmly decided Mrs. Blank to go ahead, and when Blank returned that night he found the shutters down. His wife was nursing several laceraieu nnns l'ut sll, wore a tnumpnam air. atm screwdriver slipped once or twice, she explained In response to his Inquiring glance at her bandaged digits. "Screwdriver slipped!" repeated Mr. B. in a dazed tone. '"Great snakes, woman! You don't mean to say you " unscrewed all the shutter hinges?" "Of course," said his wife complacently. "What other way could I get the shutters down?" For answer Blank lifed a shutter and pulled the pin out of one of the hinges, showing that the ferfclng down of each shutter only Involved the removal of two pins. When he figured that there were ten pairs of shutters and each pair required the driving of sixteen screws to put them up he swore while his wife wept. Soon Learned. A Scottish gillie met the proffer of a nip from his master's flask with the protest that he "cudna drink oot o a bottle." Pressed, however, to try, he put the flask to his Hps, and the sound of the steady gurgling never ceased until he handed back the empty flask.. . "Hoots, Dugald," sadly observed the laird, as he held the flank upside down, to confirm his astonished vision, "niebbe ye canna drink oot o' a bottlebut, hech, man, ye'd soon learn r He Made a Mistake. A man from an up state town entered a conference in New York city and sat down near the press table. It was noticed that, though he appeared bewildered, the man was eager to be pleased. He clapped boisterously at the slightest provocation, and where others only smiled be would throw BB CLAPPED BOrSTXBOtSLY. back bis head and laugh loud and long. At the end of an hour or an hour and a half the man stopped his noisy applause and mirth, and leaning toward a reporter, he whispered: "Say, this is the white faced minstrel show, ain't it?" "Why, no," the reporter answered. "The white faced minstrels are two doors below.'' "What's this, then?' he inquired. Tlils," said the reporter, "Is the annual conference of the Egyptologists' society." ' "Waal," said the crestfallen man, "I'll be!" And, with a look of disgust, he hurried from the ball. Taking No Chances. An old man who had led a sinful life was dying, and his wife sent for a nearby preacher to pray with him. Tho preacher spent some time praying and talking, and finally the old man said, "What do you want me to do, parson?" "Renounce the devIL renounce the devil." replied the preacher. "Well, but, parson," protested the dying man, "I ain't in position to make any enemies.'