Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 35, Number 126, 13 March 1910 — Page 10

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6TORY

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(Copyright 1910 by BenJ. B. Hampton.) I T Isn't often that town like Kilo has real journalist In Its midst, and when it does nave. It ought to be proud and thankful; tout right at first Kilo was more dazed and startled than anything else. I should say that Kilo, when It acaulred the .real Journalist, was like a nice, motherly old cow that had eone out Into the back pasture with the beet and mildest Intentions In the -world to have an ordinary. gentle, wobbly-legged calf, and then found, all of a sudden, that she had given 'birth to a wheelbarrow loaded with fireworks. Lighted fireworks at that; with pinwheels, and Roman candles, and skyrockets, and red and blue lights all going off at once A first that cow would be surprised, then she would be pained and disappointed, and then she would probably get used to It. Next to a hen or the American Public the cow is the biggest fool on earth, and will get used to anything, even a yellow Journalist. When Thomas Jefferson Jones sold the Kilo Tunis he had been editing and publishing It and working the old Washington hand press for about ten years, and he had made it one of the most slowgoing, respectable, desiccated weekly papers In Middle Iowa, one of the kind that. If he was sick some week, he could reprint week before last's paper and nobody would notice the difference; and Kilo had got used to that kind of paper and liked It. But Davis was a different sort of man. He saw that the Times needed a Uttlo life put into it, and he put It In. On the paper for which Davis had been setting type before he came to Kilo, life meant redInk headlines, and scandal and crime on the first page, and the very first number of the Times, he got out had a "Wave of Crime" headline across the top of the first page in red, with subheads of "Kilo Police RanUy Inefficient.' aa-1 "The Criminal Still At Large." That was the best be could do with the news at hand, which was that a chicken had been stolen from Doc Weaver's hen coop, tout he made up for It by a startling "Later" item at the bottom of the pace. In double-spaced lines, telling that Just as the Times was going to press It was learned that the chicken had not been stolen, but had been discovered by Mrs. Doc Wearer under the hack porch, setting on eleven eggs. Davie hadn't been publishing the Times more than a month and a half before he saw that It was going to strain him to keep op the speed he bad set for himself. The mlnuite Davis stepped off the train when he came to Kilo he set hi eyes on Old Billings, and gave hhn his proper news value. There was Old Billings, bunched up on an egg case against the side of the depot, right In the heat of the sun, with hto hat slipped down onto the platform and hie head lolling over onto one shoulder, and snoring like an automobile horn, with a grunt on the full blast and a tremolo on the ln-take, and his face and nose as red as the aide of the Kilo Livery, Feed and Sale Stable. Nobody can deny that Old Billings looked drunk. If .Mrs. Jarley had wanted to make a waxwork figure and had made one with a palpltator Inside of It to make the chest rise cod fall, and a tooter to snore, and had called It "Sleeping Off His .toadcation." he couldn't have done better than to copy Old Billings just as he looked when Darls stepped from the train. Old Billings was a perfect Imitation of himself as he would have looked if he had been dead drunk, only he wasn't drunk, and never had been in his life. He was a teetotal, hard-shell, blue-ribbon, Iowa prohibitionist. I dont wonder it riled Darls. News values were one of the things Davis was especially strong on. A man who Is a modei j journalist, with gallons of red Ink and fourteen assorted Coats of wooden scare-head ' type has to be strong on " 1 Could Out Out s) Lot s Confetti, I aerws values. Davis was. H could tell the news vahia of anything at the first glance. Davis could look at a mas or woman onos and give that person his or her sows value, and he was proud of the faculty. So. as soon as he saw Old Billings asleep on the station platform, he gave him his news value; and It was a big one. He expected Old Billings to furnish a great many pages of scare-heads during each year. Old Billings asleep there looked like "crime and "debauchery" and "our dissipated leisure classes' all la one, and Davis expected him to behave as such. After Davis had been publishing the Kilo Times a few months he began to look worried. The strain of getting up a red-type sensation for his first page every week in a town where nothing happened was beginning to teU on him. and all his efforts to do the modern Journalistic thing had not boomed his circulation the way hs had thought It would. The Times had had oae hundred and six more or less paying subscribers when Thomas Jefferson Jones sold out, and after several months of Davis it had one hundred and seven; but Davis learned that the new one was less paying than any of the others. Kilo did not appreciate red Ink. and that worried Davis; and news was hard to get, and that worried him; and the advertisements were actually fewer In number than they had ever been, and that made him mad. But the thing that hs hated worst of all was that Old Billings hadn't lived up to bis news value. It seemed to cast a slur oa Davis's journalistic ability and preslght Old Billings didn't do a thine 'hat would look even plausibly like news In the Times He never had done much In the news-making liue except to be born, and he couldn't help that The only other news he seemed liable to furnish was a death notice, and sit the slow, easy-going rats he was living. It looked as though he would outlive Davis. Old Billings wasn't wasting any energy He generally sat down in front of the hotel, or the grocery, or the livery stable. In the morning and sat here until noon; and then sat in front of the depot until supper, and after that he sat In front of the grocery, or the livery stable, or the hotel, until bedtime. It was not a wearing life, not the nervous prostration kind. Hardly anyone died of nervous prostration in Kilo, but it -began to look as if Davis would; Old Billings wore on him so. And then, just as Davis had about decided that his health was giving out entirely, his only compositor wandered out of town and never came back. For two weeks Davis struggled along weakly, trying to set type as well as hustle news and keep an eye on Old Billings : and the day he took to his bed. deciding that he was going to die of It all Casey wandered into Kilo and hunted up the Times office which waant very hard to and and struck Davis or a job.

It was new life and Ice cream for, Davis, for Casey was one of bis own kind, only more so- He was a modern Journalist, too. but he was a few years In advance of Davis He didn't take the news as he found it and swell It up big. If there wasn't any news, be made some He belonged to that school of Journalism, and it Is a pretty good school to belong to In a town like Kilo As soon as he heard about Old Billings, and how Davis had put bis faith in him. and how Old Billings had betrayed that faith, he went out and had a look at

Old Billings. He said afterwards that he dldntcars for his looks, and that If he had been looking for a man to put a news value on he would bave put It on someone else; but that he had worked under many an editor and he knew they were all more or leas crazy, and that Davis was boss. If Old Billings was the kind of man Davis had picked out as having a news value, the thing to do was not to complain, but to get the the news oat of Old Billings. Then he asked Davis about how high he bad set Old Billings' news value, and when he heard, he sat down and whistled one long whistle and scratched his head, tit looked like a good deal of news to get out of Old Billings. The next number of the Times' had plenty of red Ink, and the words at the top of the first page were "The Carnival!" It took Kilo by storm, and made more talk than anything since the Civil War. Kilo hadn't known there was going to be a carnival, but It was all set forth in the Times so there could be no doubt about it. It was to be a merchants' carnival; a tremendous celebration in honor of Kilo's prosperity, and there were to be floats, the populace In costume, and decorated streets, and firework In the evening, and the day was to be the 1st of October. Casey wrote the whole thing, and had an Order of March for the parade, and the whole thing was as attractive as It ceuld foe In print By the time the Times, came out again, a week later, everyone was pretty well used to the idea, and Casey called It the Times Carnival without anyone caring, and It brightened Davis up conslderaby to go around and talk the thing up with the merchants. Casey just took things easily. All he did was to sit around in front of the grocery, or the livery stable, or the hotel, and loaf; but he always happened to sit next to Old Billings. 'Have ye ever been to Paris, Mister Billings?" he Wieht You'd Lot St Try It, Mr. Cuy.ta aid one day. when they were sitting together. "Well, no. I ain't," admitted Old Billings, reluctantly. "I don't eay but what I've thought some of travelln', but I ain't never seemed to find time, as you might say. Travelln takes time." "Now. but ain't that a pity!" said Casey. "I was hopin' ye had teen, i was there once, whin I was young, an' 1 was Just wishln' you had beea Them French do be knowln' how to run a carnival better than what Davis does. I'm disappointed ye ain't seen a Paris carnival. Mister Billinga Ye would be the kind of a man could tell Davis a thing or two about It" "1 guess maybe I could." said Old Billings with satisfaction. "I got a remarkable mem'ry for things. I remember in the fall o' sixty-eight " Tf ye had been to Parts." said Casey, "ye could tell Davis about that there confetti An' ye would do so. No one that has been to Paris, like ye would have been, would forget to tell Davis about that there confetti Twould be th' first thing ye would tell him about, wouldn't it now?" "I guess I wouldn't let nothin" much stand In the way of my tellin' him." said Old Billings. "Don't you reckon he knows about that there that what-you-may-call-itT "He do not!" said Casey, positively. "How should he. an' him never havtn been to Paris. I wager there be no one In Kilo but yon an me do know about it. Mister Billings. An' a grand sight it Is. to be sure, to see the air fuJl o' ft, an' th' streets covered with It! Ah! 'tis a pity we are to have none of It here with the carnival an' all! Have ye ever been on th' boulevards in Paris come Mardi Gras? but. no! I remind me ye say ye have not! Confetti I Tls nothin' but confetti, an 'tis plenty of carnival with nothin' else but coufettl I would no give a dang for a carnival without confetti, Mr. Billings, would youT" "Dog me. If I would 1" said Old Billings. Tm 'prised Davis ain't though on it afore now." Casey waved his hand In the air to dismiss Darls from consideration. "Ye know what he Is like!" he said. "Thin kin' of nothin' but thim red headlines o' his. I wlsht I wisht " He paused wistfully on the word, and then his fees brightened and he turned to Old Billings and lowered his voice to a whisper "An why not have confetti?" he exclaimed. "There would be good money In It for some one. Mr. Billings. If they had a monopoly of th' confetti business for th Kilo carnival! Th' people would be after goln' crazy over It. they would take to It so. Ten cents a bag we could get for It, an' to think It costs nothin' I a " r" a. t M a -B , . m . iu oiei cut, no i ne saia. letting nos tace sad again. "I have not th' time t make It," Odd Billings moved restlessly on his chair.

By ELLIS PARKER BUTLER "Twould do no good t have a wee bit of It." said Casey, sadly. "We would be all sold out of it before th' middle of th' day. Twould take -ons of It. th' people would be so crazy to get it. Tls no use thishfn of It Let it go!" "Seems tike a pity not to make money when there Is a chanst to," said Old Billings, nervously. "Mightn't mightn't I make some confetti, Mr. Casey?" "An' listen to that, now J exclaimed Casey, joyfully. "Sure, it takes you t' think of things, Mr. Billings! But no!" he said, dropping into sadness as suddenly as he bad been roused to Joy. "tls not t' be thought of. Ye would get tired before th' Job was half done. Mr. Billings. It takes a lot o confetti f make enough for a carnival, an too little Is worse than none at all. Ye would tire out before ye mads enough, Mr. Billings. Let It go!" "I wouldn't tire out," said Old Billings, eagerly. "Makin confetti ain't no harder than sawin' wood, to it?' I used t be a fine wood-sawer when I was young. I hadn't my beat at sawin' wood, them days." He waited restlessly for Casey's reply, and Casey at robbing one ear and apparently thinking deeply. 'If I thought ye could stick to th' Job" he said at length. Td stick!" said Old Billings. "I swan Td stick. Dog me if I wouldn't! What what might this here confetti be dike?" "Snow." said Casey. "Tt's like paper snow, an when ye're havln' a carnival ye throw it at each other 'till th' streets Is full of it That's th' beauty of havln' the monopoly of th' confetti business, Mr. Billings. Ye can make It of nawthin' more expensive than old waste paper, an' th' profit Is all profit. Tls a grand business for th Ues of us." T can tear up paper as well as another man," began Old Billings, but Casey stopped him. Tear It!" he exclaimed. "An who ever heard of torn-up confetti? "Twould be agin th' law, Mr. Billings. Would th law be allowin ye f throw around torn paper, with th' sharp corners of It gettln' Into everybody's eye, an' raebby puttln ont a hundred eyes or so? No, indeed! Tls round th' confetti has to be, each confetti as big around as th' blunt end' of a lead pencil. Twould never do t tear It; twould have f be cut." "And what would I cut It with?" asked Old Billings. "Scissors," said Casey. "But twoald be no expense, for we have two pair In th' Times, office, an 1 could sneak ye one pair when Davis wasn't lookln' Ye have fine long fingers t' work a pair of shears with. Mr. Billings!" Old Billings worked his rheumatic fingers open and shut and looked at them with more pride than he had ever imagined they could give him. "I could cut out a lot of confetti. If so be I had time enough and paper," he said wistfully. T wlsht you'd let me try It, Mr Casey." Tf I was f gtt a room for a factory, now," said Casey, meditatively. I might git ahold of some young teller that would be wHlin f go into th factory an' stay 'till I had enough confetti. I wouldn't want word of what I was doin to get out till I had enough confetti made to do for th' whole carnlvaL An a young feller I could lock In an' hand him in his meals Twould be a fl ne Job for some young feller, nothin to do but sit easy all day an' shear out confetti an' havs his meals handed right In to him. an him gettin' half of th' profit when we sold th stuff. Ye don't know any young feller like that, do ye. Mr. Billings, that I could get hold of quick?" Old Billings worked his fingers spryly open and hut In front of Casey's face. There ain't no young feller in Kilo got sich long fingers as them." he said braggingly. "ner no young feller ain't poin f have th patience what I've got A young feller's always wantln' V move around, an' I aint. Sittin' still's one of my strong points. You'd ought to take tne as pardner in this here confetti business. Mr. Casey." "Well." said Casey reluctantly, T ain't askln' ye f go Into It, an I aln coaxln ye. an' If ye go into It yell have f be locked In like I would lock In a young feller." "I ain't askln nothin' better!" declared Old B0Ungs. "WeJL don't say nothin about ft," said Casey "an come 'round to th Times office this evenin after supper, an' we'll get f work at it" That was Tuesday, and the Times came out every Thursday, and the very next Thursday Old Billings began to live up to hie news value. Tuesday night Casey met Old Billings alone at the Times office, and Thursday morning the "Times" came out with euporb red headlines on the first page. It was a "Mysterious Disappearance" of the most thrilling kind, and Davis was In his glory Hs shook hands with Casey a dozen times on Wednesday between his visits to the usual sitting places of Old B Clings, and thanked him for drawing his attention to Old Billings absence from the well-worn public benches and chairs. He said be guessed that Old Billings had got the fishing fever and had gons to the river after bass, but that hs was good for a scare-head In Thursday's 'paper anyway. And U the time Old Billings was down cellar with a kerosene lamp and a pair of office shears fourteen Inches long and weighing about a pound, cutting out confetti the size of the end of a lead pencil. He cut early a cigar box full Wednesday. Thursday moving Kilo read the Thmi and sniffed disdainfully about the mysterious disappearance of Old Bill tags, and then went down to the grocery to talk It over with him but he wasnt there! Kilo was surprised, hut not half so surprised as Darls was. He couldmt make ft out. He had been

printing big headlines over unimportant news so long that he could hardly believe that Old Billings wasn't lurking around somewhere, sort of playing a Joke on him. making the news look true But Old Billings wasn't He was down ceHar cutting out confetti, and getting mighty tired of the Job. He didn't have the right kind of shears nor the right kind of fingers to cut out confetti the site of a lead pencil end. and he was getting madder and madder. He didn't see why confetti had to be so email anyway, and by

noon Thursday hs decided he had misunderstood Casey, and he Increased the size a little. He made It the size of a dime And about the time Davis was really getting excited over the disappearance of Old Biniags and taking It seriously. Old Billings decided that, while onfettl the size of a dime might do for Paris, what w as wanted for America was a generous confetti the size of a silver dollar. He fet that It would be mean to disappoint the public by giving them stingy. little bits when they might be wanting targe, round ones; as he made them that way. He felt that If anyone had depraved Parisian taste and wanted the small kind. It would he easier tor them to cut it down to suit than It would be for the others to paste the little ones together if they wanted big ones. Whea Casey came down cellar with Old Billings' dinner at noon, the old man had grown so generous that his confetti was the size of a saucer, but the food cheered him up a little and he reduced the size to the dimensions of a hunting-case watch, men's Ice. FrMsy mors tag Darls was In his glory, and eaM that tf Old Billings did not show up by the next morning he would actually get out an extra, and Kilo was la a good stats to receive one. for Old Billings was still absent. Saturday was a hard day for Casey. He had to run off the extra on the band press, and Old Billings was grumbling so hard that he had to sing Rory 0Moore at the top of hds voice aU day Davis thought It was pure happiness because the Time had such good news, but It wasn't; and Case was never so glad in his life as when hs shut up the office Saturday night Old Billings started to tear the confetti, and he tore hopefully all day. It was really amazing how much he could tear when he hadn't anything to distract his mind. By evening he had the floor of the whole bare space In the cellar ankle dep is confetti, and It cheered him on to see how well he was getting along. It was warm work, even If the cellar was cooler than out doors, and Old Billing had shed his coat light at the start; and about Tuesday, as Old BflUng did not seem to need it, Casey just took It out of his way and. after supper, walked out to the river three miles and sort of draped It over the edze of the river. Davis found It there, all rirhtt And Casey saw that he found it early enough Wedae4a-r morning to work up a good article tor the Thursday Times It was right then that KITo realty began to worry about Old Billings. The men of the town held a meeting, and went In a body to drag the river, with Davis along to ehow the spot whers the coat had been found and to take notes They dragred the river we3. and got out every old halt can that had "Tho Men otho Torn Held Meeting been cnueked Into It in the last esven years, and tt was a wonder they didn't drag out Old Billings. They would have dragged him out if he hadn't been In the cellar of the "Times" building, wading around knee deep la confetti But it made a good extra for the Times." and by the time Old Billings was thigh deep In torn-up exchanges. Kilo was reading the list of the men who had dragged the river, aad the blor raphy of Old Billings, and the full account of the dragging of the river. Casey was se proud of It that he took Old Billings's vest. You can do a good deal with a vest tf yea know hew. and have had a thorough, modern Journalistic education, and can pick up a stray chlckea that needs Its head chopped off for the good of the pottle. There Is enough blood In a chicken to make a strong, agile murder mystery tf It Is applied la the right way; and the way Casey had Davis organise the search party to scour the woods oa the other side of the river from where the coat had been found, did credit to his training. Kile had not beea mentioned la the big city papers since the cyclone

of TS. but the day after Old BUHngjrs rest

found, people all over the United States were reading of Kilo's murder mystery, and was ft murder or suicide! Kilo was prouder than a peacock of her murder mystery, and especially when the county sheriff came down from Jefferson and joined in the hunt for the remains of Old Billings; and Davis was like a new man He hardly had time to eat He raa around town and discovered dues everywbere, and Casey worked so hard turning out extra editions of the rimes that he scarcely had time to feed Old Billings properly He spent all his Utce between the press and the cellar, tor the old man was getting restless again. He had torn up so much paper that he was up to his arms In It, and he told Casey that he didn't want to seem lazy about making confetti, but that from what he knew of Kilo he Judged he had about all the confetti the town would need for a one-day carnival, and that ir he tore up much more he would be swamDed anJ would llkei rimam i

confetti He became quite ugly about It, so Ceeev suggested to Davis that he had got about the fuCI news value out of Old Billings, and It would be good thing to let him drop now, and try some other sensation. But Davis knew better. He was right In the heart of the mystery, and he wasn't going to giro up while a mystery was still mysterious; so Casey had to go down cellar and try to start Old Billings going again. It was hard work. Old Billings said be had used up the whole pile of old exchanges, and he thought that was more than any young fellow could have done. Old Billings sat on the table growUng to himself for a while after Casey went upstairs, and than he took up one or the papers that Casey bed just brought down, and the headlines looked at thim. He did not hare to look at them, for they were Davis's Times headlines, and they fairly yelled at Old Billings that Old Billings was murdered, and that he was the prize mystery of the century. Old Billings thought it over for a few minutes and then hs clhnbed as far up the cellar stairs as he could and pounded on the underside of the trapdoor with the shears. Casey let the press stop and same down. He saw at once what was the matter and what a mistake he had made In not censoring the exchanges before he had handed them to Old BO Inge, "If ye was up there, there wouldn't be any excite ment," said Casey. "Ye can't be murdered an stand "round llstenin' to how ye was murdered at the same time. Mr. Billings. If ye hadn't been down here ye wouldn't have been murdered up there, an as long as ye are in good health ye oughtn't to complain. Be a good foiler and make some more confetti." rsv sat down on the stairs and looked at Old Billings sadly. "An spoil th' monopoly! hs said. "Co on out then, an have everybody know about confetti, an have every Tlvln soul In Kilo start to make their own before night! Oo on. Mr. Billings! An to th' dickens with our profits!" Tm goto' out." repeated Old Billings, doggedly. "Go on out then!" urged Casey. "An in half an hour thim sheriffs an' marshals an' all will find out where ye have been, an ye will be th joke of th town an' laughed at, an' no mystery at all. an our wuimu wuuvyuiT an vuc i vjiibiu. i aian i inns It of ye. Mr. Billings. Tls not what I would do." Tm a-goin" out," reiterated Old Billings. "An you just glttln t have th' finest news value of any man In Kilo!" exclaimed Casey, disgustedly. "Is that th' way ye do in Kilo? Is that th' way ye do, whea ye could go out just as ye wish an' still have thim look oa ye with wonder an awe. an not spoil th confetti monopoly?" T want to go out." said Old Billings. "An where will ye say ye have been all this time? In Davis's cellar tearln up confetti. An so would I. (Mr. BUllngs. If I was In yer place, but I would not say ft that way. I would let them find ma In th cellar, an' not a word would I aay about confetti Sure.' I would say. Is this me or not me? Am I Old Billings, or am I a rat? Then they all looks surprised snd Interested. A rat? they says. Tee.' ye says, 'am I a rat, or ain't I? The last I Tersenv ber I was a rat An then they points to th paper ye have torn up an they say. 'sure, he thinks he la a rat! Tls a wonderful upsettin of th mind he has had. Some one must have took him ont In th woods an' soaked him on th' head an' upset his mind for a spell. Ye would be havln a full rage or two la th' Times about ft," said Casey, enthusiastically, "an no one would guess this was confetti at aU We could bold onto th' monopoly." T won't be a rat" eaid Old PRilnga grumpily. "Well, then." said Casey, coavinglv, "be squirrel A squirrel is a pretty animal Ye ought t like f be one. Mr BAHnus." T won't be a squlrre!. im!d Old Tftnilurs. "Then wt3 ye be a nice little bird, tnakts a pre tv- net in th cellar. Be a canary bird. Mr. BUllngs." coaxed Casey. mnd Wont its Body to Dr-ig tho River.' T wfll be nothing! declared Old Billing. T wfH be nothing but what X am, aad be doing nothing tut tnakiag confetti." For a minute Casey considered. "Well, go on. then." he said, standing aside to ted Old Billings our, Tm thinkin' they will chink ye as crazy one way as the other Prom what I bave eeeo of Kilo, by th time ye explain r them what eaafeta might fee, an how ye expect f make mosey by esnV in folks bit e torn-up paper, an- bow s was wtOla' r stay down cellar tearln' paper by th light of lamp week la an week out, I guess they'll think ye are crazy enough." That night Davis sat alone fa his office with hfs head In his hands and a frown on bis brow Hs was deeply worried. He could not decide which headlines to rua tared Ink at the top of the nest day's Issue of the "Times." whether to run -strange a.osv ration" or "The Lost Returns." n- or The Lost Returns." Then saddexuy as smiled aad scribbled serosa the pad before aim the huge words Mysterious DUappearaaoa" fur Oaeey had left Kilo soddesly. aad without topping to eay goad-ay. or to pay his board bill at the Kilo HetaL