Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 34, Number 134, 22 March 1909 — Page 7

PAGE 0EVE3TPALLADIUM AND SUN -TELEGRAM CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS1

THE RICHMOND PALLADIUM AND SUN-TELEGRAM, MONDAY, MARCH 22, 1909.

WE 0E1I 1 ...The . Market Place of the People... SEH DBMS' . ','. .. . . m " , 1 - IPEI-WOro Situations Wanted and Greatest little satisfiers of All advertisements must bs FOR THE Found Ads 2 times big wants are the in this office before PSfOOPE fFTl EACH INSERTION. - ' FREE ' ads below 12 noon " WOlbfi UUiT

WANTED. WANTED Position as night watchman by steady, reliable man, thoroughly experienced. Address Watchman, care Palladium. 22-2t WA NTED Position as janitor and elevator man. Address Janitor, care Palladium. V 22-2t WXNTBD A good girl in family of two, 823 NU9th St. 22-7t WANTED Farm hand. Middle aged, ingle." Give, reference. Good home for right man. Address "C. G." care Palladium. ' 22-3t WANTED Situation by competent girl in good family. Phone 3233. -?. , . ' , 22'2t WANTED To rent 3 unfurnished rooms for light house keeping within 1 blocks of 11th and Main. Address ., care Palladium. 22-2t WANTED Ladles to learn hair-dressing, majiicurlng, facial massage, chiropody or electrolysis (removing superfluous hair). Few weeks completes. Great demand for graduates. Hundreds now in business. Tools given, diplomas granted. Catalogue mailed free. Moler College, Cincinnati, Ohio. mch22-tf WANTED To borrow $1,300 for 30 days at liberal interest. , Will give 1909 automobile as collateral cost $1,600. Insured for amount of loan asked. Address M. O. II. this office. 22-lt WANTED To rent, lots in" Benton Heights at once. J. M. Albertson. Ratliff St.' 21-St WANTED Position as stenographer with good knowledge of bookkeeping. References. Address 'F. 8." car Palladium. 20-7t WANTED-rVislt the new and Sec-ond-hand furniture store,, 1030 Main. Phone 1778.. ,, rach4-tf Market NEW YORK STOCK Bf Correil and Thompson. New Vork, March 22.

Open High Low Close L. ......... .. ..129 130 129 130 Great Northern-; .. .. .. ;-. C9 70 68,. 70V4 Amalgamated Copper .. .. .. .. .... .. ..142 'U2 141 US American smelting ............. . .. ..84 S6 84 86 Northern Pacific .. ..140 140 139 140 U.S. Steel .............. ....... ..'..43 44 43 44 It. S. Steel pfd.. ............ .... .. ..110 110 110 110 Pennsylvania .......... .. ..130 131 130 131 St. Paul .. .. .. .. .. .. '..';. .... .. ..144 145 144 145 I B. A O. . . .... .... ...... ...... . . , .108 108 108 108 New York Central .. .. .. .. .. .... .. ..124 126 124 126 'Reading .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ... .. ..128 .131 128 131 Canadian Pacific .. .. .. .. .. ... .. ..168 169 167 168 Union Pacific ...................... .. ..178 180 178 180 Atchison .. ..... ..102 102 102 103 Southern Pacific. ..118 119 118 119

Chicago. CMfCACO QRAIN ANO PftOVI8ION& Chicago, March 22 ; (By CcYt.ll and Thompson. Crokers, Eatoa O.) Wheat Open High Low Close May ... 114 115 114 115 July ...102 102 101 102 Sept. ... 96 96 96 96 ' Corn Opn High Low Close Hay ... C5 66 65 66 July ... 63 65 64 65 Sept. ... 64 63 65 65 " Oats. '"; " Opnn High Low Close May ... 53 54 53 54 ' July ... 48 48 47 48 Sept. .., 40 40 89 40 Indianapolis Market. REPRESENTATIVE SALES.

No. At. Dk. Pric 44 242 . 7.00 66 216 120 6.95 74 225 240 6.90 67 182 .. 6.S3 72 193 240 6.85 51 16S SO 6.80 78 ., 177 240 6.80 80 .,"...... 202 400 6.80 72 ..... 164 160 6.75 115 ................. 183 400 6.73 S7 ................. 166 160 6.70 5 .,.. 147 40 6.65 73 ... 136 160 6.60 20 .... 170 200 6.50 21 126 .. 6.35 52 118 6.20 20i.... S8 .. 6.00 2 88 5.75

: INDIANAPOLIS LIVESTOCK. HOGS. Best heavies . . . . . ....... $6.80$7.00 Good to choice .......... 6.65 6.90 BEST STEERS. Finished steers 6.25 6.83 Good to choice steers ..... 5.50 6.25 Choice to fancy yearlings.. 4.75 5.50 " STOCK CATTLK. Good to heavy fleshy teed- . ers ........ .......... 5.23P 5.50 Fair to good feeders . ... 4.25 5.25 Good to choice stockers . . 3.00 4.50 Common to fair heifers.... 2.50 3.25 BUTCHER CATTLK. Choice to fancy aetfers .. 4JSS& 5.75 Good to choice heifers 3.75 4.25 Best yearlings ............ 5.00Q 5.50 Good to choice sheep 425 4.75 Spring lambs.: .. ...... 4.00 7.50 - - VEAL CALVES, rood to fancy '......... 4.50 7.50 Fair to heavy ............ S.00O 7.00

WANTED Will pay cash for modern bouse, about. 7 rooms. State lowest cash price with all particulars. Or will rent by the year. Address Joe, Palladium. , 20-tf

WANTED Dog of English Spaniel breed for breeding purposes. Address D., care Palladium. 19-tf WANTED To buy or rent a six room house; address "K" ' care Palladium. 17-7t WANTED If you want money in place of your city property or farm, go right to Porterfleld's Real Estate office. Kelley Block, 8th and Main, 14-tf WANTED To do your moving. New vans and largest In city. Reliable help. Reasonable charges. Phone , 3481. Office 264 Ft. Wayne Ave. Chas. Zuttermelstei-, mar8-lmo Messengers furnished entire city; quick service. Public . typewriting. Postal Telegraph, Telephone 1071. , 8-1 4t FOR SALE. FOR SALE City property and farms, merchandise stocks and firo Insurance. Porterfleld. Kelly Block. 8th and Mala. 6-tf FOR SALE One baby carriage, one small ice box. 206 N. 19th. It FOR SALE Modern 6 room cottage. Phone 3617. 22-lt FOR SALE One rubber tired carriage, almost new. Bimel make. Cheap. Box 131 Centerville, Ind. -.' . 22-2t FOR SALE Cheap First class drop head Singer sewing ' machine. Inquire 201 S. 5th. 22-7t FOR SALE Cheap; gocdi organ; 221 ; N. 17th. 21-7t Reports QUOTATIONS. roksre, Eaton, Ohio Richmond Grain Market (Richmond Holler Mills) Wheat, per bu., ....$1.20 Corn, per bu 70c Rye, per bu 80c Bran, per ton $27.00 Middlings, per ton $30.00 Clover seed, per bu., .$4.50 Richmond Seed Market. (Runse e Co.) ' Timothy, per bu., .... . . . .$2.70$2.S5 Clover Seed 4.30 4.65 Richmond. CATTLE. (Paid by Richmond Abattoir.) Best hogs, average 200 to 2.10 pounds O.50$6.63 Good to heavy packers . . . 5.50 0.00 Common and rough .. 5.00 5.50 Steers, corn fed ......... 4.50 5.00 Heifers 3.50 4.25 Fat cows 3.50 4.00 Bulls 3.50 3.7C Calves .... G.50 7.50 Lambs 5.50 PRICES FOR PODLTKY. (Paid by Bee. Hive Grocery. Young chickens, dressed per lb Old chickens, per lb. . .. . . Turkeys, per lb. ...18 COUNTRY PRODUCE. (Paid by Bee Hive.) . ..15e . .15c to 20c Creamery butter, per lb Country butter, per lb. Eggs e a .. 25e . . .15c Indianapolis Grain. Indianapolis, March 22. Wheat .. Corn ...... .... .... Oats ;. .. . . . . ...$1.21 67 ..53H TOLEDO GRAIN. Toledo, March 22. Wheat .. .. .. , Corn Oats .... .... Rye ., Clover Seed, per bu , .$1.24 ...67 ..55U .. S3 .$5.30 CINCINNATI GRAIN. Cincinnati. March 22.Wheat Corn .. Oats.., ..$1.29 68 53 CINCINNATI LIVESTOCK. Cincinnati, March 22. Hota-aeceipU, 3,900; llghta $60;

FOR SALE Tworseated carriage in good condition. Call at Neff & Kusbaum's 7th and Main. 18-19&21

FOR SALE Seven room house, good barn ; 15 South 18th street. Phone 25B.. 19-7t FOR SALE Choice Rhode Island Red Cockerels, $1.00 each. N. P. Wilson. Rural Route 7. Phone 3119. ... 21-2t Typewriters for sale, rent, repaired. Burr & More, Phone 2111. 19-tf FOR SALE Rose comb Brown Leghorn eggs for hatching. 720 N. 8th 19-7t FOR ALE New house at 1031 South 8th street,' bath," furnace, three bed roonis," cemented cellar, gas, water, electric light, all street improvements. 18-7t FOR SALE At 430 Perl street-, modern home, furnace, bath, mantel, colonnade, all street improvements. 18-7t FOR SALE White Rocks, exclusively. Fishel strain, direct, farm range, beauty and utility. Cockerels scoring 95 and ' head pens of large, high scoring winter laying hens. Eggs, $1 per 13. Hatch of eight guaranteed.. Clifton Smelker, New Madison, 0. R, R. 1. 10-lOt FOR SALE Well established millinery , business in a good live town near Richmond. For sale cheap. Address X, care Palladium. 10-7t FOR SALE Handsome lionie near Eariham. : Easy terms. Address "G" care Palladium. ll-21t FOR SALE Good house, 7 rooms, bath, furnace, electric light, strictly modern, 5 blocks south of Main street; will sell cheap for cash. Phone 1524. 4-tf FOR SALS Mill wood. C W. Kramer 4 Co. 29-tf pigs, $5.uO.. , Cattle Receipts, 1,100; 10c higher. Best veals, steady, $7.50. SheepReceipts light; strong. Pittsburg, March 22. PITTSBURG LIVESTOCK. Pittsburg, March 20. Cattle Receipts, 905 loads; tops $6.60. Veals, $8.75. - HogReceipta 30 loads;. tops. $7.25. Sheep Receipts light; tops $6.15. Lambs, tops $8.00. EAST BUFFALO. Cattle Receipts, 3.000; tops $6.75. Veals Receipts, 1,200; $0.25. Lambs $7.35. ' Hogs Receipts 13,000; tops $7.25. Richmond Hay Market. - (Omar G. Whelan.) Timothy hay (baled) $11 to $12 New Timothy hay (loose) . .$11 to $12 Clover hay, loose $10.00 Mixed hay $10.00 Straw, per ton .$3.50 to $6.00 Oats, per bu., ............... 50 to 52c New corn ........ . . .07 to 70c CAMBRIDGE CITY. GRAIN. (Furnished by J. S. Hstelrlgg) Wheat, No. 2, per bu $1.25 Corn, new, per bu ....60c Oats 50c Rye 75c Clover Seed, recleaned $4.50 No. 1 Timothy., per ton .... $10.00 No. 1 Timothy and clover hay, mixed ... $9.00$10.00 PRODUCE. (Furnished by WV B. Barefoot & Co.) Country Butter 13c ! Eggs, per dozen 1 5c Old Chickens, per lb., hens 15c Young Chickens, per lb sc Turkeys .... , 12c Ducks. ... . . 10c Geese 7c LIVE STOCK. (Furnished by Hartman Bros.) Butcher steers , $5.B0 Good to choice $3.00 $4.25 Heifers $3.00$3.00 Veal calves .$4.00$6.50 Hogs $6.50 Roughs $4.50 Sheep $2.50$4.00 Lambs .... , $3.00 $6.50 Nothing better for the boys than bread from Gold Medal Flour. Rebecca. MILTON. GRAIN. (Furnished by J. W. Bromfldd & Co.) Wheat, No. 2 .... $1.07 Wheat No. 3 $ 1.05 Corn.. .63(gSc Oats.. .. .. .... .. ..47t Bran, per ton.. .. $26.00 Middlings, per ton .. .. .. .. ..$28.00 C Corn, per cwt. ..,.....$2.00 Bread Meal ......$40.00 PRODUCE AND SEEDS. (Furnished by F. M. Jones Co.) Corntry batter 23c Creamery butter 30c Eggs ...... .........25c Potatoes, per bo. .....75c English Clover Seed, per bu., ... .$4.60 CENTERVILLE. " GRAIN. (Furnished by Fred Schltents tt Sons) Wheat, Na 2. per bu ...........$1.17 Corn, No. 2, per bu ........ ...... 70c Oats. No. 3 ...... 50e Rye, No. 2 ................. .....75c

WANT AD

LETT The following are replies to Palladium Want Ada. received at this office. Advertisers will confer a great favor by calling for mail la answer to their ads. Mail at this office to 12 noon today as follows:

EH : ID ST

A. L. B. 1 L. D 1 f 2 Na 1 H. II. ....... 1 P. ..... 11 J. U 1 Property Joe 1 S. W. a. 1 K 6 X 1

Mail will be kept for 30 days only. All mail not called for within that time will be cast out. FOR SALE Pure thick maple syrup. Starr Bros., Boston. Phono 24D. ' mchll-tf FOR SALE Cheapest place to buy new' and secondhand furniture, carpets and druggets. Antique Furniture Co., 19 Main. Phone 4201. 21-tf FOR RENT. FOR RENT Four unfurnished rooms, 321 Lincoln. 19-7b FOR RENT Rooms, furnished, steam heat and tub baths, for men. Y. M. C. A. mch20-tf FOR RENT Desk rocm, light and heat furnished. IS South 8th street. Phone 2239. 12-tf FOR RENT 122 Main, $12.50. Phone 3136. 12-tf FOR RENT Furnished rooms, heat, with beta for gents, at the Grand. feb23-tf Clover Seed, prime .............$4.50 Timothy, baled, per ton $11 to $12 PRODUCE AND POULTRY. (Furnished by H. L. Johnston.) Turkeys lOe Ducks 6c Geese Be Eggs 20c Country butter ...25c Young chickens 7c Old Chickens .13c Country Bacon .. ......10c Lard r.T." .".'T-iTTT . 7i ;i0c FOUNTAIN CITY. (Furnished by R. A. Benton) Butcher Steers $4.00$5.00 Good to choice cows 3O0 4.00 Heifers 4.00 4.60 Veal calves 4.50 7XX) Hogs . . 4.50 5.50 Roughs 3.500 5.25 Sheep 2.000 $.25 Lambs 4.00Q 6.50 GRAIN. (Furnished by Harris A- Jarrett.) Wheat $1.06 Rye .. .'. ..65c. Prime clover seed $4.50 Corn, per cwt 80c Oats ... 45c HAGERSTOWN. PRODUCE AND FOULTRY. (Furnished byJEd Porter Son.) Country Butter 20c Eggs , 15c Young Chickens .....13c Old Chickens ....... t 12c Turkeys , ....13c Ducks .... 11c Geese ...Cc GRAIN. (Furnished by Clark Bros.) Wheat $1.12 Corn ..... ... ...60c Oats, No. 3, white . . ,. .47c Rye fOc Bran, per ton ...$25.00 Middlings $37.00 GREENSFORK. GRAIN. (Furalshtd by D. W. Harris & Co.) Wheat $1.00 Corn 58c Oats .... ............45c Rye ..' TOc Clover Seed. No. 2 $4.50 PRODUCE AND POULTRY. (Furniihed by D. W. Harris & Co. Country butter, per lb. 17c Eggs, per doz 26c Old chickens, per lb. 10c Old Roosters, per lb. 1 .....25c Turkeys, per lb. ..... 13c Young chickens, per lb 10c Capons 15c Guineas, each 15c Ducks, per lb 7c Geese, per lb. 6c LIVE STOCK. (Furnished by D. V. Harris.) Butcher steers .........$3.00 Good to choice cows ...... . . . , . .$4.00 Heifers $5.00 Hogs $3.00 $6.35 Roughs 4.OO9 4.50 Sheep - $3-00S4-0 Lambs $6.0ti . NEW PARKS, OHIO. 1 ' ' GRAIK ' : (Famished by G. VT.ALR. Richards Wheat.. . . . . , - .. .. .. . .$L05 Corn ... ......... .......... 60c Oats 47c Rye 70e Prime Red Clover Seed .. .. ..$4.50 Alsike .................. ...... .$7X0 LIVE STOCK. (Famished by J. Jarrett.) Batcher Steers ......... $5.00J$6.00 Good to Choice Cows .... 4.000 40 Heifers .................. $.500 5.00

FOUND.

FOUND Gents glove on N. 8th St. Owner may have by calling at 802 N. F street, east side of house. 21-2t MONEY LOANED. Yes, ' Low Rates, easy payments. - Thompson. 710 Main. 21-7t DRILLING. If you are wanting drilling done, a new pump, or repairing pumps or plumbing. G. Clinehens, 112 South West First street 21-7t FUNERAL DIRECTORS. DOWNING & SOX. 16 N. Sth. Phone S175. augl-tf UPHOLSTERING. Upholstering, J. B. Holthouse 126 S. 6th St Phone 4367. 19-tf Awnings and Upholstering J. H. Russel, 16 8. 7th St Phone 1793. marll-tf LAUNDRY Dirty clothe made c!an ; if you don't believe It, try ut. Richmond Steam Laundry. Phone 1261. ftbK if MOTOR CYCLES. New sad second hand. Co- 406 Main. Waking A 23-tf FOOT DOCTOR. A sue core for Coras. Prof. H. H. KoUias. SB 8. tth. feblz-tf

Effect of the Tariff Bill Discussed By Henry Clews

New York, March 22. Now that the tariff bill has been actually introduced a sense of relief Is felt in the stock market. The changes In schedules, while more In the direction' of tariff reform than were expected, are in no sense radical or disturbing. The bill as announced; can- only be regarded as a line of battle, or a starting point for fresh discussion and changes. All the forces for and against revision are now drawn up clearly divided, and from now on the tariff struggle must continue with increased warmth until a conclusion is reached. The opinion is general that such changes as may be made in the proposed bill will be in the direction of advances rather than reductions. In other words, the measure proposed is a minimum schedule. It is predicted that the steel schedule the most important of all, will be advanced, and it is noticed that the cotton, wool and silk schedules nave been treated with great leniency. A very important element in the new bill is its revenue-producing qualities; there being serious question as to whether these will prove as great as anticipated. Under normal conditions, and as business Improves, customs revenues should Increase; in fact, they are already beginning to show improvement, and the Treasury outlook) is less gloomy than one or two months ago. POWER OF ONE VOTE. A Single Ballet Has Often Decided an . Important Contest. In the Continental congress of 1775 Benjamin Harrison defeated John Hancock by one rote for the presiding office. But the Virginian insisted on a hew ballot and by his own Tote chose Hancock. - In 1784 the Illness of aSt delegate from New Jersey kept slavery out of states admitted to the Union after 1S00 and thus confined the civil war contestants to the south Atlantic states. July 25, 1788. cne vote ratified the constitution after the famous debate between aladleon and Henry at Richmond. The next day the debate between Hamilton and Clinton ended with New York following suit In 1700 Rhode Island came in with an equally small margin. Alexander Hamilton swung cne vote to Thomas Jefferson la the electoral college of 1901. tens breaking a deadlock after thlrty-tfx ballots and defeating Aaron Bcrr. This really began the feud which cost Hamilton bis life on the Palisades at TVeehawken. In 1S08 Jesse TLos:as by his own vote went to congress from the Indiana district. H succeeded ia moving the northern boundary cf Illinois fifty miles Berth, thus girin; It a lake eutlet Had Illinois hern cnitcd commercially with tfc south and her Interests tinged with southern Ideas the election of Lincoln could cerr fcavo taken place, and the whole bfstory of the country wocld have been different. Msy 23. 1S0S, the senate of the United States declared against the impeachment of Andrew Johnson by one rote. 85 to 1. when two-thirds were necessary to decide. Chicago Journal. A MISNAMED EXHIBIT. rings Joy te the Museum Visiters and Worries the Curator. A curator at the Metropolitan Msseum of Art Is threatened with tty. the cause being; a small exhibit in the caUerr outside nfs door. . . MTwenty times a day." declared the

PUBLIC AUCTION.

PUBLIC AUCTIOX-Honsehold Mtrch 24. 1 p. m. Residence Mrs.! Molly Jackson. 27 N. 11th St. HVTt ARCHITECT. Goo. W. MknfiM. I'esldtsce Arc'u. tect Fhcns S0 Mile INSURANCE. rioore and Ogborn Fire Issursxce, tonaa and Leans. Kociu 16 1. O. O. F. BulW:ri. Ifr-tJ KAN S!K6LLDeutscher Notar and Vcrslcheruugs Agent, 716 Main street Tel. No. 1620. marlS-tf MOVING VANS. When ready to move call the "Empire's" largest tne-vieg vans in the city. Aft reliable and experienced men. Al Wintersteen. Phone 4258. 6th and Main. 22-tf NOTICE. NOTICE I wish to notify my customers for Wallpaper and Paperhanging, that I am now located at 113 South 10th street George B. McCIellan. Phone 2354. 20-7t The Hnurlso Of IMl Itfarta and children ere autiv. It to import .at to kaor what to em nm. xneur atcaectt ana Dawua at mm atroa ouch for aato. pwntl waata or eatkarti ins. tiaiSaia or arttata CMvo team anaV. iaaaaat. raartto. Uxathr tooio Oko Or. Cob 'alt's Srtvp Rapaaa. which aofla at tho nu1 tun of ! ooata or SI at 4ros atotoa. It w t groat MMdr for yoo to havo la tse booaa t chiiaroa wWn rv --r4 ft. . , CLmirmi: Don't trv to mak angel food unless you rn Gold Meda) Flour. Biunu. The great increase of Federal expenses, however, continues unabated, and there is little or no chance of their diminution. The proposal, therefore, to issue treasury certificates and additional quantities of government bonds would have the effect of further inflation In an already overtexpanded . currency system. The ultimate effect of this proposal would consequently be to largely stimulate gold exports and weaken our financial strength. This feature has not received the attention to which It Is entitled, since it Is an element of danger that should not be lost to view. Stock market operations have been much restricted by tariff uncertainty, also by the continued absence of many prominent operators. As tariff discussion may be anticipated for another two or three months, there Is little reason tor expecting encouragement in this direction. Generally speaking, trade is exceedingly dull; largely owing to tariff agitation, but partly owing to the fact that the process of readjustment rendered necessary by the panic, but forclhly held in check In 1906. is now asserting itself. A few Industries have partly accommodated themselves to new conditions, yet even they are feeling a depression sympathetic with other Industries which have not as jet so adjusted themselves. cnat cmna statuette "eat in toe naas tin coQeetien is named General Washington Instead of Benjamin FraakHa. Then they burst In here and aanoaace their discovery and wonder that no one ever noticed It before. Half my time is spent la explaining that we know It well, that it was simply a mistake of the potter who labeled It In France over a century ago and that we cannot change It nor wouldn't If we could. "Of course I tell them this courteously and patiently, and yea know what s strain that Is when you are going over the tsace thing for the thousandth time! I'd latch the door, only there are too many employees seeking me all day long, so here I must sit ecd listen to the names of George Washington and Benjamin Franklin repeated a million times till I wish that neither of those glorious patriots hsd ever lived. And it's driving ire Insane, I toll yon; Ifi driving me iasaner Just then the deer cpeccd and a lady popped In with: "There's a states out fccre named ; General Wcthin jtcn. but I'm sure And tte vresrr enrstcr. being a soutbi erncr. rose smilirjly to his task. New York Tlrr.ps. A Tc'r--rm T!-.t Talksd. At t:!? tlr-.ie t. lisa Ceorcie Drew Darri ;iir? v.es paying In San Fran- ; clsro a facers sua was o3ered her j by a leal tl:2t?r fcr her services for ' a few tc.. The o?er was exceedl Insly temrrttr.- but fcer contract with ! Charles Frobman at cod In the way. However, on ta nothins-reuture-noth-in-won t beery, she telegraphed a detailed statement cf the offer she hsd received to Frobman In New Ycrk, explained how anxious she was to accept It and wound up with the plea. "WW you release meT In due course of time she received the following telegram In answer: Urs. Georsie Drew Ban g more. Pals es Hotel. Ban Francisco: Not . CHARLES FBOHHAK. Albeit disappointed. Mrs, Ban j more at once sent this eharactertstSe reply: Charles Frohaan. Kv Tork Cttyi Ok! - ' GBOBOXSJ PRXW

PALLAEU3 C3 PAY.

TRIED TOBE JOCOSE. Snicker Was In a Jovial EosrJ and Hungry as Wei .'

BUT HE SPOILED HIS UEAU Dy the Time . He f.tsnaged te Order His Breakfast the Glow ef Genial Caod Humor He Tried te Shed Around Hirn Had Turned te Gleem. Mr. Snicker Is well known In his home town as the most facetious man la seventeen counties. Ills method of expressing what Ideas he has Is entirely along lines of pure jocosity, but cow and then his wit falls upon unsp rreciatlvc ears. On a recent visit to New Ycri Mr. Snicker arrived rather early In the morning, and the psngs ef that be went immediately upon his arrival to a prominent hotel In the vicinity of the station for his breakfast. "Good morning. Henri' he chortled In his usual salubrious manner to the waiter as the latter hung his hat on a book over ms laoie. iiae ne Dwcner come yetT - "Ze what, slrr asked the waiter, with a puzzled look on bis face, for he was not used to Snickers. "The butcher. said Snicker, with a merry wink la his left eye. "Ton know the chap who brings the teed. X thought perhaps" "Wait one moment, str." said the waiter, his perplexity growing deeper. MI will bring ss head waller, str.", "Oh. never mind." Snicker began, but the waiter had departed to return la about three minutes with the head waiter. : "What Is It. slrr asked the latter, with a great show of civil tntcraet. "On. nothing.' returned Baseker rather sheepishly. I Just ssked Henri here If the butcher had arrived yet, fearing that possibly" "The butcher. slrT repeated the besd waiter, like his subordinate, very much mystified. "Yea," said Snicker, with a fStat smile, which he hoped the head waiter would find contagious. "I was only Jok "Walt tm I find se superintendent.' said the. head waiter tsnrtesueby, "I hsve no doubt we can accommodate monsieur If we can only flnd oat what It Is that he wants. I will send for Snicker again started In to exphUa the mere faeetJoaa bearing of his in quiry, but the head waiter, too, sped sway la search of a eopsrior cer who might be expected to be equal to this new end unexpected esses gency. Several omnibus boys and Snicker's waiter ss well were dispatched to the kitchen and elsewhere to Cad kiss, hat apparently without sure sea. Free. tea. fifteen minutes elapsed, sad Batcher began to feel that It did not really pay to be as funny as be could under an Finally, however, the head waiter returned and courteously erpla tried that tbo superintendent had not yet arrived at his post of duty, hot that ho bad telephoned up to the ofico for the ms as got of the betel, who, be sssuiss him, would be down la a very few moments. "He is rather busy at this tiase the morulas, sir. bo vouchsafed, "brae said he would be down rlgisway. . M. "' " . four. "You'd bettor head Sim off If yon can. Ton see. whan t - butcher hsd cosm yet. It t as a jokersore Is the managi rusted the Bead waiter as a tan. Muostve aisflsmss with front 1j isnid so la the dials door sad sxsdo his way serosa to Snicker's table. "This Is man. Mr. Planlesoa." the added when the ataa Snicker's side. "Good taorntng. str." ssJJ'tae seaaager breesUy. I hope therekvw trouble, sir. X ass sorry to bare Kept yon wsJttng. bat this is the of the day witfe aw started stoag. asd our dlalag sorlatandont, X resret to say. to.3 duty this tBorutng. What can we do for yon, sirf "I I-waat a hard bsflod cj as4 some Loroanatso potstoss, sak nr. John Kendriek Toaaas In cote's Cots Oisaol "Do you know why a eat when In rags or tore student wt9, air, gat a flying criminal pats on and a false beard. With that to "Did you ever aotJeo the on a cat's tan? They art like a snake's raarkbes. tire cat la tat wfid stats tfrol la er tall grass. When ed be hissed snd st the up his tail and wared It oncomer bears tost He saw the tan, and only which waved In an oanaoai tine manner. Ht sail atS xa grass snd withdrew. tro "The est of today, hieaias; and wavins to and fro his follows ancestral precedent. It him not at 11: Serena il sea ! does It, thinking It the rfcst ttfss. not man sometimes Uks the cat la respect T , ' " '"-' t!3 A laugh costs' too much If It Is bourht at the expeass of cjtejfiusn. .- - . - las Value sf Pot! Callow trees are always the i but the mightiest oak. st Is : bend. The awe exalted a man is by station the more isaeiflil sheaTJ ho be by Trrflsss "TTaam ts no rTay 1S pi)i:tBsss. Gxm a often snccaaCs where the tact has failed. FeiXeneas la sssot to Inspire eonfljenco te the timid the Order Gold XSsSsl

had roachsd