Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 33, Number 201, 3 September 1908 — Page 2

f AGE TWO.

THE RICHMOND PALLADIUM. AND SUN-TELEGRAM. THURSDAY, SEPTE3IBER 3, 190S.

GOLF SEASON TO

IE TO CLOSE Contest Against Ft. Wayne Teams Monday Will Be Final Windup. MORE INTEREST TAKEN. PROF. THOMPSON'S GOOD WORK HAS WON HIM PRIZES INDIANAPOLIS CLUB PLAYED HERE NEXT SATURDAY. The golf season at the Richmond Country club, will end Monday with the game against Ft. Wayne. The Beacon this year has been one of the best In the history of thelocal club. There has been more golf and much faster golf played this year than ever before. The club championship was won by Dudley Elmer, who defeated John F. Thompson In a hard fought contest. Greater Interest has been taken in the golf here because of the many beautiful prizes that have been offered. The two Nusbaum cups which were offered for a handicap contest, were won by E. P. Tmeblood and Dr. Charles Bond. The two Austin cups were presented to the club by W. J. Austin of Pasadena, Cay., for the lowest score and the next lowest score and this year were won by Dudley Elmer and Prof. Thompson. Mr. Thompson also won the runners up cup. Prof. Thompson probably played a more steady game during the season than any other player. He won a state prize and captured two of the Country club prizes. The state prizes won at Indianapolis, consisted of two wooden clubs, a driver and a brassle. The game Saturday with the Indian apolis Country club, promises to be one of the best that has been seen on the local course this year. . The locals were defeated by the capital city boys some time ago and they hope to even up matters Saturday . WHO WILL WIN? NATIONAL LEAGUE. Won Lost Pet New York ...... ..71 45 .612 Pittsburg 73 47 .609 Chicago 72 48 .600 Philadelphia 63 52 .548 Cincinnati ...... ..58 63 .479 Boston , 50 69 .420 Brooklyn .... .. ,.43 74 .36S St. Louis .43 75 .365 AMERICAN LEAGUE. . Won Lost Pet. Detroit 69 . 49 .585 Chicago 68 52 .567 St. Louts.; ., .07 i 52 .563 Cleveland .. 67 54 .554 Philadelphia .. ... ..60 58 .508 Boston 56 64 .467 Washington 50 66 .431 New York 39 81 .325 AMERICAN ASSOCIATION. Won Lost Pet. Louisville ........ 83 58 .589 Indianapolis 80 59 .575 Columbus ..80 61 .567 Toledo ..77 61 .558 Minneapolis 69 69 .500 Kansas City 65 74 .467 Milwaukee ...... .62 78 .443 St. Paul 41 97 .297 CENTRAL LEAGUE. Won Lost. Pet. Evansville 79 53 .599 Dayton 74 59 .556 South Bend 74 59 .556 Ft Wayne 71 62 .532 Zanesville ..66 66 .500 Grand Rapids 65 67 .493 Terre Haute 61 69 .469 Wheeling ...... ..38 93 .290 RESULTS YESTERDAY. National League. ! Chicago 8; SL Louis 1. Pittsbrug 8; Cincinnati 2. Philadelphia 3; Brooklyn 2. 17 inn. Boston-New York Wet grounds. American League. Washington 3: Boston 2. Chicago 4; St. Louis 1. Detroit 5; Cleveland 3. Philadelphia 5; New York 2. American Association. - Columbus 2; Indianapolis 1. Kansas City 2; Minneapolis 1. Milwaukee 4; St. Paul 2. Louisville 5; Toledo 4. Central League. Ft. Wayne 9-9; Grand Rapids 0-8. First game forfeited. South Bend 4; Dayton 2. Evansville 12: Zanesville 9. Wheeling 3; Terre Haute 0. GAMES TODAY. National League. St. Louis at Chicago. New York at Boston. Pittsburg at Cincinnati. Brooklyn at Philadelphia. American League. Cleveland at Detroit. Chicago at St. Louis. Philadelphia at New York. Boston at Washington. American Association. Indianapolis at Columbus. Louisville at Toledo. Minneapolis at Kansas City. St. Paul at Milwaukee. Central League. Zanesville at Evansville. South Bend at Dayton. Irand Rapids at Ft. Wayne. Wheeling at Terre HauU-

COM

Affairs of the

Columbus took first blood in the series with Indianapolis, which series will probably be the funeral for one of the two teams. Carr says that the Browns will win the pennant. Clymer laughs at this. Jimmy Burke says Carr Is a kldder and Armour assures you that Toledo has the only real look In for the bunting. Charley Carr, manager of the Indianapolis team, has, it is said, been offered the management of the Boston Americans. Carr says that he has not been officially notified that Boston wants him. His contract with .Indianapolis expires this season. Cincinnati yesterday sold Pitcher Coakley to the Chicago Cubs. He was probably disposed of because he was too good for the class he has been trotting with. The Reds cannot afford to have such a "poor" twfrler as Coakley on their staff, but the world's champions are glad to get him. For the benefit of the Yankee Jackies, Tom Burns, the American heavy LOCAL WOMEN GIVEN OFFICE City Fared Well With Ladies of Golden Eagles. Two members of the local order were elected to offices at the convention of the Ladies of the Golden Eagle which adjourned at Muncie yesterday. Mrs. Mattie Bolser was elected grand vice Templar and Mrs. Cecil Austin was chosen grand guardian of music. Among those from this city who attended the convention were Mrs. Ettie Batchelor, Mrs. Effie Potter, Mrs. Jane Herrald, Mrs. Louise Nobbe, Mrs. Nellie Shinn, Mrs. , Mattie Bolser and Mrs. Cecil Austin, who went as representative. WHAT IS A DAY? You Probably Think It Is Twenty-four Hours, but It Isn't. Nine persons out of ten yes, 999 out of every 1,000 if asked how long it takes the earth to turn once on its axis would answer twenty-four hours, and to the question, How many times does it turn on its axis in the course of the year? the answer would be 305 times. Both answers are wrong. It requires but twenty-three hours and fifty-six minutes for the earth to make one compete turn, and it makes 360 turns during the year. The error springs from a wrong Idea of what Is meant by a day. The day Is not, as is commonly supposed, the time required by the earth to make one turn on its axis, but the interval between two successive passages of the sun across the meridian that is to say. the time which elapses after the sun is seen exactly south in Its diurnal course through the heavens before it Is again seen in that position. Now, In consequence of the earth's revolution In its orbit or path round the sun, the sun has the appearance of moving very slowly in the heavens in a direction from east to west At noon tomorrow the sun will be a short distance to the east of the point In the heavens at which It is 6een at noon today, so that when the earth has made one complete turn . it will still have to turn four minutes longer before the sun can again be seen exactly south. THE ANCIENT SPARTANS. They Flogg.d Men Who Grew Too Fat For Military Service. Among the ancient Spartans everything was considered secondary to mil itary efficiency, and with a view to securing this the boy3 and men were by law kept in a continual state of "train lug." No deformed child was allowed to live. Boys were taken from their homes and subjected to military regulations at the age of seven. They were compelled to wear the same single garment winter and summer. At twenty they joined the ranks and from that age till they reached sixty were required to dine at the public tables, where only a certain quantity was supplied for each man. The magistrates Interfered In absurdly small matters. They regulated the degree of fatness to which It was lawful for any citizen to extend his body. Those who dared to grow too fat or too soft for military service and exercise were sometimes soundly flogged. Aelian In his history relates that Nauclis, son of Polytus, was brought before the ephors (magistrates) and the whole assembly of Sparta, and "his unlawful fatness" was publicly exposed, and he was threatened with perpetual banishment if he did not bring his body within the regular Spartan compass and give up the culpable mode of living, which was declared to be more worthy of an Ionian than a Spartan. Clock and Watch Freak. "A watch Isn't exactly dirty when it requires cleauiug." says a watchmaker "It may need cleaniug whi n It hasn't even been worn. "A common cause of this is that the oil In the works has dried up and become sticky, causing the watch to go slow or f?ven to stop. In this case It not only wants cleaning, but also the addition of fresh oiL "The best oil for this purpose is ot tained from the jawbone of a porpoise or kindred fish. Many watchmakers mix their own oil from ..various kinds "Clocks also stop for no apparent reason. During a thunderstorm, for instance, a clock may stop, only resuming work when minutes, days or even weeks have passed. "Thunderstorms, again, have been responsible for the restarting of old clocks which have apparently retired altogether from active service." Lon don Answers.

PALLADIUM WANT ADS. PAY

Sporting World

weight, yesterday knocked out Lang, the Australian champion, in a six round bout, pulled off at Melbourne. O'Leary, the Detroit shortstop, and Summers, the crack Tiger pitcher, engaged in a fierce fight, it is reported, and O'Leary had his hand so badly battered that he has retired from the game. Cobb and Rossman are also out of the game and Detroit's chances of winning the pennant are very poor. Philadelphia won a great seventeen Inning battle from Brooklyn yesterday. Up to the eighth only two Brooklyn players got as far as first base, then they proceeded to make things interesting for the Quakers.' The Chicago White Sox are making a great fight for first place in the American league race. Already Windy City fans are predicting that their two teams will again fight it out for the world's championship. The four last teams in the American association might as , well close the season, because no one Is taking any interest in what they are doing. PRISONERS HOWL ABOUT MOSQUITOES i i Insects Find Picnic in Howard County Jail. Kokomo, Ind., Sept. 3. Sheriff Lindley has registered a protest with Lhe city to prevent the health authorities from pouring old in the waters of Wild Cat Creek to get rid of the .nosquitoes. The county jail is situated on the north bank of the creek and the sheriff says the oil has driven the nsects into the jail. In order to sleep last night, the jrisoners had to construct tents out of bed clothing as protection against the attacks of the insects. This morning the windows next to the creek were black with mosquitoes. The health board, however, proposes to continue its war on the mosquitoes as it is pointed out that there is much danger of the spread of fever from the insects. POliN i An old man doesn't care much for jokes. What's the use of giving advice? People won't take It. Not many men know if the advice their wives give is good or bad, as they seldom act upon It. To every man: Know what puts that sad look on your wife's face? Every one suspects that it is you. Every man who is nearlng the end of his days must regret the worry ho has given to false alarms all through life. Do not go too much into details In your conversation. If you touch only the high places you can get over more ground. When you inquire of a man, "How are you?" he will reply, "Oh" (with a long pause on the "oh"), "pretty well,' indicating that he could be a whole lot better. Atchison Globe. A Fnlnter'a Broken Arm. A friend once entered the 6tudIo of George Inness, the American land scape painter, while he was at work and remarked that the picture on the easel seemed to him much better than certain former works of the artist "Right!" said Inness. "This is going to be one of my best things, and the reason Is that I have bad the good luck to break my right arm and am obliged to paint with my left hand. You see," he added, showing his right hand in a sling, "this hand had become so darned clever that I could not catch up with it, and It painted away without me, while this hand" showing the left, with which he held his brush "is awkward and can do nothing without me." Poison In War. When the French beat the Formosans along the coast In 1SS1 the latter retired to the interior. When the French pursued them they found a queer line of defense, beyond which they could make no progress and in storming which many died. The Formosana had poisoned the spriug3, water courses, etc., as they retreated, and the campaigns of the French against them never got farther than the poison line. The poison was a native one, as deadly as arsenic or strychnine. Brides and Wet Weather. A Breton bride rather likes to have a wet wedding. It is held to signify that all her tears are now shed and that she will therefore have a happy married life. I know of no similar belief in the British isles. The Erza of Simbirsk call the day before the wedding the weeping day, and the bride and her girl friends weep all they can. with the idea, it would seem, of getting the mourning of life over so that only Joy may remain. The Badagas of the Xeilgherrie attain the same end by sousing the bride with water. Some Greek tribes have a similar belief In the virtue of a drenching bringing good fortune. The Omnipresent Rose. Every continent on the globe, with the exception of Australia, prodnces wild roses. There can be little doubt that the rose is one of the oldest Cowers in the world, perhaps grown from the wind blown seeds in paradise. In Egypt it is depicted on numbers of early bas-reliefs, dating from 3000 to 3300 B. C. Rosewater. or the essence of roses, is mentioned by Homer In the "Iliad." and the flower Is spoken of in the Proverbs of Solomon. Truthful Cholly. "Cholly, have you ever loved be fore?" "My dear girl. 1 will be honest witt you. I have been engaged so man times that my ex-fiancees have per fected au organization and adopted a yelL" St. Paul Pioneer Press.

MONNINGER WILL BE PROSECUTED

Charge of Selling Liquor Without Prescription Will Be Placed. TESTIMONY OF BENHAM. POLICE UNDERSTAND YOUNG MAN SOLD BOOZEZ TO KEEP HIS POSITION AS CLERK AT SODAWATER FOUNTAIN. Prosecutor Jessup will file charges against Albert Monninger, one of the proprietors of the Conkey, Monninger Drug store, Ninth and Main streets, for violation of the second section of the Beardsley act, which makes it unlawful for any licensed druggist to sell intoxicants without a prescription. According to Everett Benham, one of the clerks at the store, who is bound over to the juvenile court on a charge of selling liquor on Sunday, over twen ty-five men, several of them prominent citizens, were In the habit of patronizing the blind tiger Monninger is alleged to have operated. Yesterday Monninger was taken into custody, but he gave bond for his appearance in the sum of $100. It is not known how many charges will be placed against Monninger. Witnesses for the state against Monninger will be Benham and a number of the men the young clerk has charged with being "booze" patrons of Monninger. It is probably that eventually the case against Benham will be dismissed as it is understood the young man, to retain his position at the store, was obliged to make illegal sales of whisky. Ross white, now serving time in the county jail, has confessed to buying booze illegally from Benham. It is not known whether he ever purchased whisky from Monninger. MEERSCHAUM PIPES. A Teat by Which to Tell the Genuine From the Spuriooa. Onte upon a time there was a man who spent eight of the best years of his life coloring a meerschaum pipe, only to And at the end of that period that he had been nursing a piece of "massakopfe" instead of the genuine "ecume de mer." The "massakopfe" is a composition made of the parings of genuine meerschaum and a mineral clay. The parings are triturated to n fine powder, boiled in water and molded into blocks, with or without the addition of clay. Each block is then cut into a bowl, but as it contracts considerably it must be left some time to dry. These bowls are distinguished from the genuine meerschaum by their greater specific gravity, but there Is no absolutely certain test by which the real meerschaum can be told from the composition. In forming a pipe from "ecume de mer" the silicate of magnesia is prepared for the operation by soaking In a composition of wax, oil and fats. The wax and oil absorbed by the meerschaum are the cause of the color produced by smoking. The heat of the burning tobacco causes the wax and fatty substances to pass through the stages of a dry distillation, and. becoming associated with the products of the distillation of the tobacco, they are diffused through the substances of the bowl, producing those gradations of tint which are so much prized. In some cases the bowls are artificially colored by dipping them, before being soaked in wax, in a solution of sulphate of iron, either alone or mixed with dragon's blood. Good meerschaum Is soft enough to be indented by the thumb nail. It yields readily to the knife, especially after having been wetted. There are various densities. Some kinds sink in water; others float on the surface. Those of medium density are preferred by the pipe maker, for the light varieties are porous and even cavernous. Many judges assume that the heavier kinds are spurious, but there is no absolute proof that such is the case. A negative test may be mentioned. The composition bowls never exhibit those little blemishes which result from the presence of foreign bodies in the natural meerschaum. Therefore If a blemish occur in a meerschaum bowl, which is very frequently the case, the genuineness of the bowl is rendered most probable. But as blemishes do not show until after the bowl has been used for some time the test is not of much value. New York Press. Must Have Been a Prize. "But how could you tell, darling, that I had never proposed to any othei girl?" "Because you were not married." she murmured rapturously and admiringly. Judge. A Hard Problem. Harry Say, papa, is a man's wife his better half? . Papa That is the popular belief. Harry Then what par of Solomon was all his wives? Chica go News. No Choice. Ted Do you think that old mlllior nire will do any good with his money Ned He'll have to. He has six ma Hageable daughters. Illustrated Bits While one finds company In hlmse! and his pursuits he cannot feel old. n matter wMt bs -or.rs may be. Alcot?

ARCADE

A NAP AFTER A MEAL

ONE OF THE BEST ITEMS IN THE LIST OF UFE PRESERVERS. The Poetpraadlal Reatfnl Dome la an Aid to Good Health and More la Accord With Pmreloloclca.! Beairenenta Than Exerelae. The majority of people take a meal of lome kind between the hours of 12 and 2 daily, says a physician. With a number of persons this meal assumes the form of a substantial dinner, while with others it amounts to nothing more i than a light luncheon. In either case, however, the repast requires to be digested. and this necessitates some modIncation of the activities of the brain,

since neither that organ nor those con- Carrie Scott, the original Bowery Girl, cerned in the processes of digestion are and the French-American team. Percapable of good work when an attempt ' rigeaux and Hawley in a bit of bur

is made to put forth their energies si multaneously. The exceedingly complex processes of digestion and assimilation whereby dead animal and vegetable matters are transformed into living human tissues demand for their rapid and healthy performance an Increased circulation of blood in the stomach and ancillary organs as well as a concentration of nervous energy In the same region. Now, Increase of circulation in one organ or set of organs entails a diminution in the others. Consequently the supply of blood to the brain is curtailed immediately after a meal has been eaten, and since the blood is the I life the higher functions of that great organ are performed only with difficulty if at all. A tendency to drowsiness, confusion of thought and inability to make any great meutal effort are among the results of a diminished cerebral circulation. These feelings are, therefore, experienced by most persons after a meal, and they are the more pronounced in proportion to the greater amount of digestive energy expended. 1 Since brain work of good quality cannot be produced while the processes of digestion are In active operation it Is wise not to attempt it. It Is never i prudent to thwart the beneficent intentlons of nature. Many persons struggle against the mental and physical lethargy, that accompany the earlier stages of the digestive act. apparently under the delusion that all time given to the important business of building up and repairing their tissues is time wasted. So far from this being the case, a well spent postprandial interval tends to the preservation and prolongation of life. If a tendency to drowsiness Is felt sleep should be allowed to prevail, for the proverbial "forty winks" is Justified by science. A ten or fifteen minutes' nap after a meal, curiously enough, will enable many a brain worker to arise refreshed who might have spent an hour or two In a vain and mentally confused struggle against the "drowsy god." A cup of tea or coffee about an hour after a light luncheon wiSl facilitate and expedite the last stages of gastric digestion and so assist in the rapid re-establishment of mental vigor and clearness of mind. There are some persons who instead of resting after luncheon or early dinner take some form of exercise, such as walking or cycling. If the meal has been at all substantial muscular exer cise must tend to retard and weaken digestion by withdrawing a certain modicum of nerve energy to the lower limbs and the centers which govern their movements and diminishing the circulation in the alimentary canal by increasing it in the legs and arms. Unless their digestive powers are very keen people who take active exercise after food find that the process of digestion is thereby only prolonged. On many grounds rest after food is more in accordance with physiological requirements than exercise, and the afternoon nap, so scoffed at by the heedless, is a measure to be not only defended but recommended. It Is a practice beneficial not only to digestion, but to many of the other functions of the body. Rest is the one thing needful in this restless age, and it is never so necessary as in the small hours of the afternoon. Among the many generally unsuspected benefits conferred on the post meridian sleeper rest of the heart and systemic circulation must be placed in the front rank. Now, the more rest. within the limits of health, the heart is J able to obtain the more efficiently and I the longer will it continue to carry on ! Its work, for the heart is, with most people, a much overworked organ, and any indulgence given it will be repaid j several times over. I Another very Important organ which obtains a much needed rest during the , afternoon nap is the eye. There is no reason why people should be constantly laying waste the powers of the organ of vision, the optic nerve and the visual centers of the brain itself by continual gazing at whatever trivial objects chance to present themselves within the field of vision. Even the most casual of "things seen" entails an expenditure of nerve energy, and an adjustment of accommodation, wear and tear of the exceedingly fine and complex ocular mechanism and a corresponding exhaustion of the nerve cells constituting the visual centers of the brain, all of which must tend ultimately to curtail the period during which the visual sense should be at Its best, London Chronicle. Ilapplneaa In Work. Buskin says three things are necessary to happiness In work: A fitness for it, must not do too much of It and must have some consciousness of success. A throat specialist says the best chert protector is worn on the sole of the foot. Gold Medal Flour ia real economy. PaCDixn Kndnl Fop Indigestion. palpitation of the heart. Digests what yon eat. j

-TODAY-

A Suspicious Husband and BILLY'S ON FIRE Some mora fun for our patrons

Amusements

Vaudeville at the Phillips. The New Phillips theater. Richmnd's only vaudeville house, will open the season next Monday with a spec ial Labor Dav bill of unusual merit and entertaining features. The bill will include six acts, headed by Geraldine McCann and Co.. In a new one Miss McCann's first season on the I vaudeville stage. She was formerly a member of Richard Mansfield's sup-J j porting company. The other members jof the bill include the Vanfrillas in a sensational revolving pedestal act, 'something out of the ordinary: Miss lesque, song and comedy. In addition there will be the motion pictures and the illustrated songs. This week has been house cleaning week at the Phillips and the theater has been given a thorough renovating. In addition the house has been rejainted and provided with the extra fire protection as demanded by the state factory inspector. The latter includes an exit to the alley in the real of the building and two stand pipes on the stage. Stock at Gennett. "The Sheriff" one of the prettiest plays seen at the' Gennett for a lone time was the offering of the Cari Cook company last night and proved the most pleasing of the week. . The house was comfortably filled and all loft the theater with words of praise for the play and players. The spec laities which were, changed were kept up to the standard. The same plaj was on for the matinee today and tonight another new play "Beware 'o! Men," is to be presented. There will also be an amateur contest and twi prizes will be given. Friday night wili be amateur night for colored talent. EiirjutTre Oh calls. Some of the Thlaaja That Are aad Are Sot In Good Taate. Every one is aware that a married woman when paying a formal call on another married couple leaves two of her husband's cards in the hall when coming In or going out. But every one does not know that when the hostess is a widow only one card should be left. Punctilious people always call at a house from whence they have received n Invitation, and this whether it has been declined or accepted. But with the one exception of returning a first call, which should be don as reasonably soon as possible, the question as to what time should elapse between social visits is one that must be left to the good taste and good sense of the caller. Many people with a large and Increasing circle keep a book in which they note the date of their calls, and in this connection it should be stated that it is a compliment to call on the right day that is, when the hostess la known to be at home to her friends. It used to be considered the right thing for a formal visit only to last about a quarter of an hour. It not infrequently happens that an idle woman will arrive early and stay late if she happens to be amused and if she has nowhere else to go. Such behavior Is particularly inconsiderate when the drawing room of her hostess happens to be a small one and when other visitors are many. In the country long calls are, of course, permissible, but not in a town. Again, it is not good taste to make appointments to meet a friend at another friend's house, and yet this is frequently done, to the natural annoyance of the hostess, who feels that her reception room Is being used much as might be a station waiting room. New York American.

The NEW PHILLIPS 0 VS?."

ADVANCED WEEK OF A. PER RIGEAUX & HAWLEY Burlesque, Singing and Comedy Act B. ILLUSTRATED SONG. C THE VANFRILLAS Revolving Pedestal ActLadles' Souvenirs, Wednesday Matinee IT

I Ym Uwi ii

k (Glass lMe

Perhaps people could see you had a room for rent. Just about one out of a hundred that pass and see your FURNISHED ROOM sign want to rent a room, and that one doesn't care to rent a room in a house decorated in this way. The easiest way is to insert a For Rent ad in the Palladium. The people look to the Palladium for their Wants.

WRITES HIS VIEWS

Rev. Huber Calls Attention of Church Members to Announcements. HARVEST HOME FESTIVAL The Rev. Conrad Huber, pastor of St. Paul's Evangelical Lutheran church, has issued a letter to the nictnbers of his congregation In which he calls upon the members to rally to the bupport of the church. The announcement is made that the havest home festival will beheld September IX Young People's meeting is to begin again next Sunday. The catechetical work is to be taken up again this month. Attention is called to the excellent work of the missionary societies and they are spoken of as the life of the congregation. The next com munion service is announced for October 11. At the morning service it will be in German and in the evening in the English languages. The letter states, also: "With the month of September w begin, in a sense & new year. The lUiuuier season effects us very much in our church work. Having no evening services during July and August, a large portion of our membershipget no divine services during these months. Now we open our, work in full force with the first Sunday of Sept. It is our English Sunday. I would most heartily Invite every member of our church to be present, both at the morning and evening service. I desire especially all the children and young people, who will commence their school work within a veek to be present at the evening service, as I will preach a sermon for their benefit" A Story of L.1 Unas Chan. In the diary of Sir M. E. Grant Duff Is a fine story of Li Hung Chans, .vhose candor was never quite equaled a this world. He was dining with a Swedish traveler. "You come from Sweden." said th rreat man, "don't your "Yes," was the reply. "And what kind of country is Sweden?" rejoined the other, whereupon he received, as was natural, a glowing description of its charms. "Ah." he said, "that is very nice; very nice indeed, w nen I next, communicate with the emperor of Russia I wita-tell him to take Sweden r Hla Ratal. When a man longs to set his country's wrongs before an audience he puts a high value on his time. "What would be your price for a talk on Russia T the chairman of the entertainment committee asked the somber facVsd foreigner. "Seventy-five dollars for three-quarters of an hour, $ 50 for an hour and a quarter, $20 for two hours," said the Russian. Eqatne Saraeltr. ' ; First Lieutenant How do you like the horse you bought from mo last week? Second Lieutenant Very much. He might bold his head a little higher, though. First Lieutenant Oh, that will come all right when he Is paid for. Stulversblad. v The Cloves Fart. "So your engagement with Jack Is broken off?" "Yes." Did he exhibit the cloven hoof T "No, tho cloven breath. Houston Post There Is nothing so true that ths damps of error have not warped It. Topper. CO. VAUDEVILLE SEPTEMBER 7. a MISS CARRIE SCOTT Original Bowery Girl. E. QERALDINE McCANN & CO In her new one act play, "The Boasters." F THE PHILOSCOPE Latest Motion pictures. Admission 10c. Reserved Seats Sc. BABY CONTEST Starts MONDAY