Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 33, Number 170, 3 August 1908 — Page 5

THE KICroiOOT PALLADIUM AXD SUXTELEGRAM, MONDAY, AUGUST 3, 190S:

PAGE FIVE.

-I' 'I1

THE SCRAP

4,4 l t i A Fat One, Too, In cue of his farces Glen MacDonough had written two or three lines to be spoken by a chorus girL The lines were given to a green, heavy amateur who looked well and would do. At the rehearsal the girl made her way to MacDonough, who held the book, and said: "Mr. MacDonough, I have a line Id the first act and one in the third. Couldn't you write me one for the secend act too?" MacDonough thought a minute, looked at the girl and said: "Yes. In the banquet scene you enter and say. Tlere is the ham. " "Oh. do I bring the ham on with . me?" "No. my dear. It is not a speech. It Is a confession." LOOK BEHIND. Two wl men going on their way Were halted by & youth. Desiring of them that they stay Awhile and utter truth And wisdom that would serve to throw Light on the way that he should go. "Tour eye must fix upon a tar," The first adviser said. And hold It. though It be afar And always overhead. And If your gaze shall never quit That goal, my friend, you'll come to It." "A fool advises you, my friend," The second wise man said. "Nor fame nor fortune will attend Who only look ahead. But look back now and then and sea How great a fool you used to be." Coming Events. Let no one say that the mind has no power over the body. If It can cause such effects as in the case taken from the Berlin Ulk, how much more can it Influence the physical conditions of the now and here! "You look pale and thin. What's got your "Work, from morning till night and only a one hour rest." "Flow long have you been at it?" "I begin tomorrow." The Stains Went. The young man had sold Mrs. Bean the cake of stain remover the day before. When he saw her enter the shop again he was unpleasantly Impressed by the look on her determined countenance. "Didn't it take the stains from that shawl, madam?" he asked quickly. "I don't know whether it did or not,'.' said Mrs. Bean sternly. "You told me It had got to be left out on the grass overnight and the stains would go. Well, they've gone with the shawl. And now I want to know what you propose to do about it young man?" Youth's Companion. Before and After. Some years ago a young curate, seeking to be licensed, was bidden by Dr. Temple, archbishop of Canterbury, to read a few verses of the Bible In order that his fitness for conducting public worship might be Judged. "Not loud enough," was the criticism of the bishop when the young man had finished. "On, I m sorry to hear that my lord," replied the curate. "A lady in the church yesterday told me I could be heard most plainly all over." "Ah! You are engaged?" suddenly asked Dr. Temple. "Yes, my lord." The bishop smiled grimly and said "Now, listen to me, young man. While you , are engaged don't believe everything the lady tells you. but" he add ed, with a deep chuckle, "after you are married believe every word she says." Napoleon to Josephine (1797.) I thought I loved you months ago, but Eince my separation from you I feel that I love you a thousandfold more. Each day Blnce I knew you have I adored you yet more and more. Ah! I entreat you to let me see some of your faults; be less beautiful, less gra clous, less affectionate, less good, espe cially be not overanxious, and never weep. Your tears rob me of reason and inflame my blood. Believe me that It is not in my power to have a single thought that Is not of you or a wish that I cannot reveal to you. Quickly re-establish your health and Join me. that at last before death we may be able to say, "We were many days happy." A thousand kisses and one even to Fortuna, notwithstanding his pltefulness. It Saved Pat. Pat McGulre had been misbehaving himself and appeared before his com mandlng officer charged for the third time with the crime of drunkenness After Fat had stated his case the colo nel in severe tones eald: "Eight days' confinement to bar racks!" But In endeavoring to write "8" oo Fat's defaulter sheet the pen splutter ed. Fat noticing this, leaned forward and In a loud whisper said: "Thry If it will make a slvln, sorr. This remark caused a general burst of laughter and saved Fat his bacon. London Answers. A Coat and an Impulse. One of Judge Wright's lnthnat friends in Keosauqua was the latt Judge Knapp. Two men could no1 well be more dissimilar in appearand and Individual characteristics. Judgi Knapp was portly, hardy and evet bluff. Judge Wright somewhat sligh of figure, suave and affable. Judgi Knapp used to relish telling an lncl dent which he claimed occurred whiH 8enor Wright was visiting at hi: house. The Judge asserted that th senator had after much practice ac Quired the habit of being interested In every possible voter and had learned to ghake bands with each man be encoun tered. The senator was the guest of the Judge and had hung his linen dust r In the Judge's hallway. One morn lag the Judge rushed down to his office and did not notice that he put on the senator's coat by mistake. Later in the morning the senator wanted that coat but could not find it and so proceeded to Judge Knapp's office, where he dts covered the missing garment ou tlif broad back of his substantial friend. "What are you doing with my coat? hiandls Iwnr-'iyd tb aeaator

. . . -

"Toor odal?" gasped the Judge, twisting and squirming about to get a fuller sight" of the straining duster. "Well, that accounts for it!" And the Judge sank Into a chair, very red in the face, ut evidently relieved of a great men tal load. Accounts for what?" Why, ever since I left home I've been fighting an unaccountable desire to rush up to and shake bands with every d d fool I saw on the street" San Francisco Argonaut Not Guilty. It Is not always a guilty conscience that is taken by surprise, for sometimes the most innocent of men will start at a suspicious word. The following inci dent, which occurred in a hardware shop, is Illuminating: An elderly lady, dressed severely in gray and carrying what looked very much like a bundle of tracts, approach ed the counter. A clerk hastened to serve her. "What can I do for you. madam?" She leaned toward him. "Ilave you er any little vises?" she inquired. Youth's Companion. Left to His Fate. On returning from the barn early one morning the old man found his wife in tears. "What'cher cryln about Mellssy?" he Inquired. " 'Nother one uv our darters was stole las' night" she sobbed. "The red headed un?" be asked la conically. "Yes pore Mag she was the best gal""Bog Scuttles?" "Uv course. Ilasn't been no other feller waitin' on her. Ain't you goin' to pursue after 'em an arrest 'lm?" "Uv course not" he replied sternly. I'm not under obligations to help Bob Scuttles out uv no difficulty. Let him go ahead and work out his sentence, same's I've been a-doln' fur the Jas' forty year." Wise Diogenes. When Aristlppus returned from the court of Dionysius be said to Diogenes, "If you knew how to flatter kings you need not live upon herbs," to which Diogenes replied, "If you knew how to live on herbs you need not flatter kings." A Ten Foot Locust. An antiquary laid down, with a laugh, the book he had been reading. 'It's 'L'Espion,' " be said, "a French translation of Fenlmore Cooper's 'Spy.' I bought it from a Frenchman's valet What makes it valuable is an error it contains. "Cooper says in the book that a horseman tied his horse to a loenst lie means a locust tree. But the French translator thought he meant an Insect and wrote that the horseman hitched to a 'sauterelle. He stuck an asterisk at the end of the sentence and in a footnote said: " 'In America the locusts grow to an enormous size ten feet or more. It Is customary to place dead and stuffed ones as hitching posts before the doors of American mansions for the convenience of visitors on horse back.' "New York Press. Where He Was Most Needed. General N. B. Forrest was one of the fiercest and most determined fight ers that participated In the war between the states. .In the midst of one of his campaigns a captured Federal chaplain was brought to his headquarters. The man showed the deepest anxiety and depression, for the stories of General Forrest's severity were rife in the Union camp. A little later sup per was announced, and Forrest to the chaplain's surprise. Invited him to share it But his surprise grew to amazement when the general turned to him reverently and said: "Parson, will you please ask the blessing?" The next morning Forrest courteous ly gave him an escort through the Con federate lines, for he wished no non combatants for prisoners, and bade him goodby, with the remark: "Parson, I would keep you here to preach for me if you weren't needed so much more by the sinners of the other side." Voltaire on Newton. No person has done more honor to the genius of Sir Isaac Newton than Voltaire. He declared "that if a general assembly could be convened of all the men of talents who ever flourished they would without hesitation assign the place of precedence to Newton." Much Simpler. At a country fair in Kansas a mas went up to a tent where some ell were on exhibition and stared wist fully at the sign. "I'd like to go In there." he said t the keeper, "but It would be mean tt go in without my family, and I cannot afford to pay for my wife and seven teen children." The keeper stared at him In aston lshment "Are all those your chil dren?" he gasped. "Every one," said the man. "You wait a minute," said the keep r. "Ill bring the elk out and let then See you all." The Good Ones Were Gone. In 1S63, after the fall of Vlcksburg, a man came to Lincoln seeking an office. He had known Lincoln Tery well In the early fifties, but had drifted souiu. lie warned an omce and a good one, and he was very importu nate. At last Mr. Lincoln said to him "John, when I was a young man about the time I first went to Springfield to live, I was invited to a dance, and I very proud of the invitation. I remember thatt""bought' a new hat and a very good one, for it cost me more than any other hat I had ever bought, and I was very proud to wear it to the dance. Well. I enjoyed myself so much at this hop that I stayed very late, about the last one to leave, as I remember, and as I was ready to go I said to the colored man who had cHarc? f th coati and, hats, 'Now,

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BOOK John,'" Iwlsh you wdtffU'bTIng me my hat.' He brought me a -hat that had been worn for a long time and was very rusty and shabby, and I said to him: This isn't my hat I wore agood one.' And then he replied, 'Mr. Lincoln, Vie good ones were all gone two hours ago.' So, John, the good offices are all gone." Slightly Mixed. Two correspondent- wrote to a country editor to know respectively the best way of assisting twins through the teething period and how to rid an orchard of grasshoppers. The editor answered both questions faithfully, but unfortunately got the Initials mixed, so that the fond father of the teething twins was thunderstruck by the following advice: "If you are unfortunate enough to be plagued by these unwelcome little pests, the quickest means of settling them is to cover them with straw and set the straw on fire." The man who was bothered with grasshoppers was equally amazed to read: "The best treatment is to give them each a warm bath twice a day and rub their gums with boneset." The Bishop's Job. A bishop was staying with a friend in a country house. On Sunday morning as he passed through the library he found a small boy curled up in a big chair deeply Interested in a book. 'Are you going to church, Tom?" he asked. "No, sir," he replied. . "Why, I am." "You've got to go. It's your Job." Ladies' Home Journal. Neck and Neck. The lawyer for the plaintiff had fin-1 ished his argument, and counsel for the i defense stepped forward to speak, when the new Judge interrupted him. His eyes were filled with wonder and admiration for the plea of the plain tiff. "Defendant need not speak," he said. Plaintiff wins." "But, your honor," said the attorney. "at least let me present my case." "Well, go on, then." The lawyer went ahead. When he had finished the Judge gaped in even greater astonishment. "Don't it beat all!" he exclaimed. "Now defendant wins. No Common Nigger. As a well known evangelist was pay ing pastoral visits some years ago in the state of Tennessee a lady said to him: "I'm very glad you've come. I was reading in the Bible the other day about Moses marrying a nigger, and 1 wish you would explain the matter." "It doesn't read that way in my Bible," he replied. "It reads that Moses married an Ethiopian womar " "Well, doesn't that mean a nigger?" "I will tell you how it was. There was a terrible war waged by the Ethiopians against the Egyptians, and, two great armies sent from Egypt against them had been destroyed. The Ethiopians were governed by a magnificent queen, something like Scmlramls, who led out her own armies and knew how to gain a victory. But when Moses was sent with a lhird Egyptian army against her he asked help of God and managed so wisely that the queen agreed to surrender all her forces to him and become tributary to Egypt provided he would marry her." "Well," sa4d the old lady, "I'm glad to hear it wasn't any common nigger." New Testament Wisdom. Little Mabel's grandfather had been reading the New Testament to her, and the parables seemed to arrest her attention. Her mother, going into the kitchen about dinner time, overheard Mabel talking in a peremptory man ner to the servants. When asked what she had been saying, she replied: "Oh, nothing. I was only telling those wicked and slothful servants to hurry up dinner." Lippincott's. Longworth and Longfellow. Shortly before his marriage to Alice Roosevelt Congressman Longworth was presented at a large reception to Samuel Longfellow, a brother of the poet. Longworth was Just then in a somewhat rattled condition because of the notoriety showered upon him by a gratuitous press. He did not know what to 6ay, and so he said only: "Our names are almost similar, aren't they?" Mr. Longfellow smiled kindly. "Yes," he quickly quoted; "'worth makes the man and the lack of it the fellow.' " Gallantry In Church. One Sunday during high mass at 12 In the chapel of the little village of Glengarlff three ladles of the FYotestant faith were obliged to take shelter from one of those heavy summer showers which so frequently occur in the south of Ireland. The officiating priest, knowing who tbey were and wishing to appear respectful to them, stooped down to his attendant or clerk, who was on his knees, and whispered to him. "Three chairs for the Protestant ladles." The clerk mistook the words, stood up and shouted out to the congregation, "Three cheers for the Trotestant ladies!" which the congregation Immediately took up and gave three hearty cheers, while the clergyman itood dum founded. P0ST0FFICES DECREASE. Rural Routes Taking Place of Many Of Them. Postmaster A. J. Spekenhier has received the semiannual bulletin from the postal department giving the com plete list of postoffices In the United States. At issue of the book the number of ofTices is lessened because the rural routes take the places of many offices. Bob: Just made some splendid biscuits Gold &!edal Flour. Bam.

DID HE DO WRONG?

Action of Roosevelt in Reinstating Cadets Matter Of Comment. ARMY OFFICER THINKS SO. New York, Aug. 3. "The law says that cadets found guilty of hazing shall be summarily expelled from the Military Academy. There was no alternative, for the board of officers, after a careful investigation of the charges recently brought against eight students, but to recommend that they be dismissed. To inforce discipline in the face of President Roosevelt's action in reinstating these young men seems a hopeless task." Au army officer of the highest standing directly connected with the Military school at West Point thus gave his views. Speculation as to the final outcome Is running high, and none coald be found at West Point who did not think a serious mistake had been made. Not one of the officers at West Point can afford, they say, to enter into an open controversary as to whether or not the president has as sumed the right or the wrong position The law which prevents an army or navy official from commenting public ly on official rulings binds them to silence. MUST BELIEVE IT When Weil-Known Richmond Tell It So Plainly. People When public endorsement is made by a representative citizen of Rich mond, the proof is positive. You must believe it Read this testimony. Ev cry backache sufferer, every man, woman or child with any kidney trou ble will find profit in the reading. David Hershey, of 316 South Thirteenth St., Richmond, Ind., says: "Two boxes of Doan's Kidney Pills that I procured at A. G. Luken & Co's drug store cured me of distressing weakness of the kidneys and severe pains through the loins and sides. This trouble bothered me for some time and other treatments had not giv en me relief. Doan's Kidney Pills did all and more than Is claimed for them, and I am glad to help them along with my recommendation." For sale by all dealers. Price 50 cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, New York, sole agents for the Unit ed States. Remember the name Doan's and take no other. SAMOANS SEE GREAT BATTLE FLEET Ships Pass Tutula Island, Saturday. Suva. Fiji Islands, Aug. 3. The Atlantic fleet at 8 p. m., Saturday, was in latitude 15.43 south, longitude 17.24 west, being distant from Auckland, N. Z., 1,500 miles. At 8:30 o'clock in the morning the fleet changed its formation from line of squadron to single column, and at 7 p. m. passed the eastern end of Tutula Island, Samoa, and steered close In along the coast, giving the people of the island an excellent view of the ships. The station ship Annapolis, under way with its officers and their fam ilies abroad, passed close to the fleet of Pago Pago. The usual honors were rendered. HOLDS AUCTION AND THEN DIES Indiana Man Knew That His End Was Near. Evansville, Ind., Aug. 3. Realizing he was in a serious condition and had but a short time to live, D. H. Harris a wealthy citizen of Grand View, Ind. held an auction Saturday. He sold all his. property and in a few seconds after the sale he died. He was 62 years of age. TRAFFIC HEAVY. R. d. I. Breaking Now. All Records E. C. Norton traveling passenger agent of the Grand Rapids and Indiana railway with headquarters at Grand Rapids who was in the city on business with local passenger men stated that the passenger traffic on the road is the largest it has been for some years. The number of people at the northern points is the greatest it has ever been. TO HEAR REPORTS. The regular meeting of the Denver Brown Camp No. 20 Spanish-American war veterans will be held tonight when a report from the Relegates and state officers of the department encampment will be submitted. All comrades are cordially requested to be present. Those women who neglect constipation always suffer greatly at certain periods. The use of a mild physic, tonic and purifier is advocated by physicians, and nothing equals Blackburn's Casca-Royal-Pills not even castor oil.

Big Towel Mill End Price 5c.

8c Bleach Muslin Mill End Price 6c. Sale Mill End Calico 6c Goods 4Jc 7c Ladies' Wash Suiting 6c

THE jPEOIPlLJE'S

1SOCIAL NEWS j To Reach the Society Editor, Call Home Phcne 1121. or Bell Phone 21 Ml 1

Mr. and Mrs. Henry Gennett, Miss Rose Gertnett, Mr. and Mrs. Fred Gennett and Mr. Bates of Boston, Mass., formed a dinner party last evening at the Country club house. w j Miss Ethel Rlnehart and Miss Louise Artz of Riverdale entertained a company of friends at Crusey's Thursday morning, in honor of their guests, Miss Lucile Mahret of Richmond, Ind., and Miss Ruth Routzong of Covington. A dinner of 25 covers was served at noon. Dayton News. i j The wedding of Mr. George Reid and Miss Ruth May Carroll took place last evening at the residence of the Rev. J. O. Campbell. The affair was a very quiet one, only a few friends witnessing the ceremony. The young people will greet their many friends at their newly appointed home, 620 South Tenth street. The Missionary society of the First Christian church will hold its regular monthly meeting at the home of Mrs. J. T. Gist on the Fountain City pike, Tuesday afternoon at 2:30 o'clock. Luncheon will be served. A hack will be the means of conveyance and will leave the church at 1:30 o'clock. All members are urged to attend. j Jt The young women's Mission circle of the First Christian church will meet this evening with Mrs. T. H. Kuhn at her home, 30 South Thirteenth street. A large attendance is desired as election of officers will take place at this time. J J J The lady Macabees will give a lawn party Tuesday evening, August 4 at 826 North I street. The public is invited to attend. ti The Mothers League of the Whitewater district, is requested to meet with the Riverdale Civic league, at the school building, Wednesday evening August 5 at 7:30 o'clock. A full attendance is desired. Jt JK jt The following clipping from the Indianapolis Star will be of interest to local musicians: Chosen from among fifty singers to render a group of songs at her graduation. Miss Adah Conner returns from New York as an honor student of the Musical Art society of New York, one of the exclusive musical organizations of that city. The Invitation to sing at the commencement was an honor eagerly sought and the compliment to Miss Conner was a high one. The singer has been studying in New York three years and she now holds an important position as church soloist. In New York she makes her home at the Three Arts club, where only young women studying music, art and the drama are admitted. J j Miss Shyloh Van Meter of Cambridge City, Miss Ruby Washburn, of Anderson, Indiana, and Miss Van Meter of Cambridge City, visited friends here yesterday. j J Mrs. Joseph Kleasner and children, Robert and Joseph, have returned from a visit at Dayton, Ohio. J 0 The East End Aid society of the First Christian church will give an ice cream social Wednesday evening. August 5. at the home of Mrs. Belle Scott, 113 North Fifteenth street. . . Miss Mildred Barnhill, an Indianapolis girl in her teens, who has shown marked ability' as a pianist, will sail this month for Berlin to study with Martin Krause in the Stern conservatory. She completed the work In the artist department of the Indianapolis conservatory in six years, an unusually short time, and Edward M. Cawley, her Instructor there for four years, has arranged for her to have

Two Big Events This Week Mill Ends Sale All Week Good Roads Congress Saturday The Greatest of These Two is Sale of Mill Ends. Come, Se

BIG DAY TUESDAY SALE MILL ENDS

We're Mostly "It" in Low Prices

two lessons a week with Krause. She will remain abroad three ears. Miss Barnhill is the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. J. K. Marnhill of 405 South Keystone avenue. Her uncle. Dr. John F. Barnhill, will accompany her to Berlin.and will remain with her until she is well settled. They will leave Indianapolis August 10 and sail on the Bleucher on the 13th. Indianapolis Star. Miss Barnhill visited here about two weeks ago. She was the guest of Miss Duke of West Richmond. Mrs Lacey gave a musical for her while here. She was also an honor guest at an Informal party given by Misses Mildred and Mabel Kuhn. A tea was also given by Miss Duke. J Jt The following clipping concerning "my lady's wardrobe," necessary for a week's end visit, will prove quite interesting to the one who is contemplating a short visit to a friend. As a rule women take more clothes than is necessary. The best bag for the purpose Is a rattan or fiber suit case. These carry a great deal and do not tax the strength of a woman. The best costume to wear on the trip is a coat-and-skirt one of 6llk. This material is more dressy than cotton or linen and does not soil so easily. A hat of medium size is much better for wear than a small one. It may be worn to nearly every occasion, and so saves the trouble of carrying a hat box. Practically two dresses are all that are needed for the visit. One of these Is a dinner gown for Saturday and Sunday night. If full dinner dress is not worn, the frock should be white, or something thinner than silk. For this reason a pretty gulmpe dress, or even short waist suit, should be selected. j J J Mr. and Mrs. Thomas M. Kaufman entertained a company at dinner last evening at the Country club house. J Jt J An automobile party from St. Louis took dinner yesterday at the Westcott hotel. j Miss Grace Davenport delightfully entertained a number of her young friends Saturday evening at her country home south of the city. The affair was given in honor of her sixteenth blrhtday anniversary. Music and games were the features of the evening. The hostess received many beautiful presents. The rooms were attractively decorated with smilax and golden glow. The table was lighted with sixteen tiny wax candles. Later a dslicious luncheon in eeveral courses was served. Those present were. Misses Irene Steen, Adine Hockett, Ethel WMte, Ruth Hunt, Minnie

COR. 9m and rVIAIN STREETS. FURNITURE BEDDING PICTURES

Dr. A.0.Mariin, Dentist

Big 15c Towel Mill End Price 10c 9c Soft Cambric Finish Mill End Price 71c

Hope and Lonsdale Muslin Come See. . 6cTedd$" . BearWhite vFlanneF4ct. STORE, Studt, Ruth Davenport. Lulu Matthews, Vera Minner, Cdlth. Watson, Marie Studt, and Blanche and Jessie Davenport. Messrs. Horace Hockctt. Raymond White. Richard Paulson. Earl Helms, Guy Taylor, Lawrence Wltte, Silaa Minner, Bradford and Hugh Williams, James Watson, Carl and Upward Steen. o Jf v Miss Ruth Galvln of .Indianapolis, will come this week for a visit with friends in this city. J JH Jl Mrs. Eugene Blackburn entertained at luncheon at her home on Capitol avenue In honor of Mrs. K. 8. Sage of Rochester, N. Y., who Is the guest of Mrs. L. Cope, and of Mrs. Anna Keogh. who will leave early In the week for Richmond, Ind., for permanent residence. Wendnesday afternoon Mrs. Keogh waa entertained by Mrs. Viola Bowers of East Michigan street. The guests were Mra E. Blackburn, Mrs. Howard McDonald, Mrs. G. Kemp, Mrs. L. Cope, Mrs. F. Wanner of Plalnfleld and Mrs. E. 8. Sage of Rochester, N. Y. Indianapolis Star. HEAVY RAINFALL IN MONTH OF JOLY Was Above Normal, Says the Weather Observer. The weather statistics for the month of July have been completed by Weather Inspector Vosler, govern ment observer at the water works pumping station. The maximum temperature for the month was 95 degrees on July 12. The minimum was 47 which was on July 9. The average monthly temperature was 73.5 degrees. This compares about the same for July as In former years. The largest dally average was 27 degrees. The rain fall for the month was 6.21 Inches which Is unusually heavy, being 2.5 inches above normal. The heaviest rail fall on any one day was on the 12th, when .82 inches fell. A summary for the month Is as follows: Clear days, 10. Number of days partly clear. 16. Number of days parV ly cloudy, 5. There were thunderstorms on July 2. 3. 11. 12. 17, 24. 26 and 31. There) was a hail storm on July 12. WINTER IMPROVES. Scott Winter, night sergeant of the police force, who has been seriously ill for some time, has so far recovered as to be on the street. t PAUL E. WILSON I J Musical Instruments J Adams Drug Store WITH L B. KNOLLENBERG 11 S. 8th St. For Cast Gold Fillings Tbe fillings ol in. Colonial Block. New Pbooe 1C37

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