Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 33, Number 116, 10 June 1908 — Page 5

TIIE UlCmtOND PALLADrni AND SUX-TELEGKA3I, WEDNESDAY, 7TTNE 10. 10O8.

fAGE FIVE.

E CARS USED Business of Railroads Presses 22,000 More in Service. REASONS ARE GIVEN. New York, June 10. A decrease of over 22,000 in tho number of idle freight cars during the, latter half of May is shown in tho fortnightly report of the American. Railway association, Just issued, but dated. May L'7. Oil that date there were 3S 1,779 idle freight ears against 404..T75 on May 13, the date of the previous report. This makes the second consecutive decrease in idle cars, tne previous report having thown a reduction of about ,00O earn from the maximum of 41".8S8 reached on April 2!). This latest decrease was duo to the transfer of at least 40 per cent, or about S.OoO idle cars, to the shop list, indicating that the railroads have begun to repair a large number of idle freight cars. But It is not to be inferred'that the actual Increase in traffic has been sufficient to require the use of those cars. A further large part of the decrease is explained by the fact, that the gradual resumption of bituminous coal mining has called back into service a good many coal cars which were made idle by the suspension of work c. few months ago. The number of idle box cars did not vary materially during tho last half of May. GOVERNOR'S DAUGHTER MARRIESP00R MAN Sensation in Utah Society Circles. Ogden, Utah. June 10. Stealing eway from the home of her father in Bait Lake City, Miss Mabel Blanche Cutler, the pretty 2tl-year-old daughter of Governor John C. Cutler, of Utah, was .quietly married by the janitor of the court house, who, garbed in overalls, performed the ceremony. It was a runaway match and was made over he objections of the distinguished parents of the bride. Thomas Kdward Butler, the groom, is .voting man of limited means and without social prominence. The janitor who performed the ceremony is a Mormon elder, empowered to perform marriage ceremonies. The marriage created a great sensation over the State, whore the bride tias been socially prominent for some time. EXCITING RUNAWAY NEAR ECONOMY George Cox Has a Narrow Escape From Injury. Economy, Ind.. June 10 Aftg-r an exciting runaway about a field and through a woods, George Cox escaped Injury although the experience was one he does not care to have repeated. Mr. Cox had hitched a. team of young horses to a. roller and soon afterward tho excitement bepan. One of the animals had never borne harness before, he became frantic. Mr. Oox had endeavored to start tho horses near the edge of the woods. When the team started running Mr. Oox was unable to keep it from plunging; wildly Into the woods. The Jiorses raced about dodging trees but finally collided with a pile of rocks, after Mr. Cox had broken one rein in his effort to stop the horses, lie was hurled from his seat but was uninjured. The horses were stripped of their harness and the roller reduced to splinters.

MR

To cure a stomach trouble, first Digest the Food

That Js essential. The pain is caused by undigested food, which irritates the stomach lining. The stomach can certainly never get well while that irritation continues. No need to doctor the stomach. And dieting helps but little. The vital thing is to do the stomach's work. To cat what you want, and digest it. Then the stomach, in ,a little time, will do its work itself. There is only one way to digest 1! food. That is Kodol. Pepsin digests albumen only. Starch requires something else; fat something else. Then bowel digestion must be accomplished too. That requires other ingredients. It requires an exact combination to digest every food, and it must be in liquid form. Kodol is that combination. In test tubes, in our laboratories,

COR. Om and IVIAIIM STREETS. FURNITURE BEDDING PICTURES

ISOCIAL NEWS I : I Pi To Reach the Society Editor. Call Home Phone 1121. or Bell Phone 21 j

SOCIAL EVENTS FOR TODAY. Wedding at high noon of Miss Marguerite Green and Mr. Karl Meyers. Wedding of Mr. Elmer Kreimier and Miss Alice Lachtenfels. Penny club meets this afternoon with Mrs. L. X. Cox of South Seventh street. Central aid society of the First Christian church meets this afternoon at the church. The Men's union will give a social this evening at the First Christian church. Invitations reading as follows were issued today: Mr. and Mrs. M. C. Rogers desire your presence at the marriage of their daughter Olive Susan to Mr. Harlow Lindley Wednesday the twenty-fourth of June nineteen hundred and eight at. twelve o'clock Amo, Indiana. The "At Home" cards are for after October first, 216 Central Ave., Richmond, Ind. Mr. Lindley is an instructor in the historical department of Karlham College. His many friends in this city extend to him their heartiest congratulations. . J The following young people will form a house party at "Rocky Rill" Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday: Margaret Knollenbcrg, Lena Weisbrod. Elsie Thomas, Alice Steen, Emma Wuenker, Elizabeth Benfeldt. Alice Kamp and Clara Marsh of Indianapolis: Messrs. Wilbur Hasomeier, Howard Miller. Jesse Miller, Clarence Ralzer. Henry Rausch, Richard Rartel, Robert Weichman and Walter Moelk. The party will be chaperoned by Miss Dora Schultz. The party is composed of members of a Sunday school class of Lutheran church, taught St. Paul s by Miss Schultz. vt Mrs. E. R. Wood, of Akron, Ohio, will be honor guest at a card party to be given tomorrow afternoon by Mrs. E. R. Grosvenor at. her home on the National road. west. " J I Miss Mary Dickinson will entertain at cards Saturday afternoon. J . Mr. and Mrs. Dempsey Dennis had for their guests the first of the week. Honorable Robert James and family of Indianapolis. J ?8 J The following clipping from a Dayton exchange is of local interest: The past week has been distinguished by a large number of entertainments given in honor of Miss Mary Underwood, whose marriage to William Rogers Ruffner will be the fashionable event of the social calendar for Tuesday. On Wednesday noon, Mrs. W. R. Gebhart and Mrs. A. S. Frank entertained very charmingly with a luncheon at the home of Mrs. Frank in West First street and on Thursday Mrs. Ed Weston gave one of the prettiest luncheons ever given at the Golf club, her guests being twentyone In number. On Friday morning Mrs. W. J. Rlakeney entertained with a luncheon and bridge: on Friday afternoon Mrs. Harry White entertained with a linen shower, and on Friday evening Mrs. R. A. Rogers gave a dinner for the bridal party and out-of-town Ernests. On Saturday afternoon Miss Irene Stout and Mrs. Relle Sutton of West Second street entertained with a tea at "Northlands", the Stout country place, north of the city. A rehearsal will be held at the Underwood residence on Monday afternoon and the day will also be marked by the arrival of a large number of out-of-town guests, among them being Mrs. William P. Underwood of Chicago, Mrs. Joseph Holbrook and daughter Frances of Chicago, guests of Mr. and Mrs. C. V. Raymond; Mr. and Mrs. Richard Pickering of San Francisco; Henry Underwood Johnson of Richmond, Ind.; Robert Underwood we have seen it digest every food that man eats. It does the same in the stomach, in one-third of the time. One can't cure the stomach by giving it half-way help. There are many partial digesters perhaps you have tried them. But, however careful you are with your diet, there is food which they can't digest. The irritation continues. But Kodol, whatever yoa eat, digests it at once and completely. Please prove this at our risk. See how instant is the relief. See how quickly the stomach recovers. You will never again permit yourself to suffer from indigestion. Our Guarantee On the first dollar bottle of Kodol your druggist gives a signed guarantee. If it fails to do all we claim, your druggist returns your money. You take no risk whatever. This $1.00 bottle contains 2j times as much as the 50c bottle. Made by I. C. DeWitt & Co., Chicago.

Johnson of New York City and Hon. Ellis H. Roberts, ex-United States treasurer, and his niece, Mrs. Edward Bushinger, of Utica, N. Y., who will arrive in the evening. Other out-of-town guests are expected Tuesday morning. Th Woman's Home Missionary society of the Grace M. E. church will hold its annual election of officers Friday evening at the home of Mrs. M. C. Price on the National Road West. At six o'clock supper will be served on the lawn. The men and friends of the congregation are cordially invited to attend. J u Mrs. Byron Elliott of Pittsburg is the guest of Mrs. Walter Henley, 41 South Seventeenth street. Mr. and Mrs. Chris Hasemeier will leave Thursday for Cincinnati where they will be in attendance at the commencement exercises of the Cincinnati Conservatory of Music. Their daughter Miss Elizabeth is among the graduates. , This afternoon at five o'clock in the "All Souls Unitarian church at Indianapolis, will occur the wedding of Miss Ellen Corinne Locke and Mr. Hugh Howard Barcus. Mrs. Ida Lemon, Miss Ella Lemon and Miss Alice Locke left today for Indianapolis where they will attend the affair. Miss Corinne Ixcke is well known in this city, having often visited her sister, Miss Alice, who is director of art in the Richmond public schools. The wedding of Mr. Roy Fry and Miss Leota Clemens took place today at the home of the bride's parents on

Richmond avenue, j The Third M. E. Sunday school will i give the first of a series of banquets j this evening to the primary department at seven-forty-five o'clock. The affair will be held at. the church. An excellent program has been prepared to which the public is cordially invit ed. v-t Mrs. Robert Morrisson of Chicago, is the guest of Mr. and Mrs. James Morrisson of South Sixteenth street. Miss Mable Hasemeier and Miss Hazel Thomas will entertain several out-of-town guests at a house party which will begin Friday and continue over Sunday. , , The Alumni tea was given last evening at Earlham college. A business meeting was held after which a social hour followed. The business session was held in the lecture room of the new library building and was presided over by Mr. Ray K. Shiveley. Tea was served on the lawn. The remaining hours were spent at informal speech making. . At the opening of the Art association, the Daughters of the American Revolution acted as hostesses. Punch was served throughout the evening. The colonial room arranged by this organization is one of the most attractive features of the exhibit. j .Mrs. Mark Hates and daughters are visiting Mr. Joseph Ratliff. . -.- The meeting: of the East Knd Aid society of the First Christian church was held yesterday afternoon with Mrs. A. H. Gist of Main street. The affair was in the nature of a business session. The society will meet Again in two weeks. The place of meeting will be announced later. LITTLE LOVE GOO GETS IN WORK ON TRAIN Preacher Wedded to a St. Louis Girl. St. Louis. Mo., June 1 . If you saw a pretty young woman, languidly turn ing the leaves of a book In the seat immediately in front or you on a train would you resolutely turn your head and study the flying landscape, or would you watch your opportunity and scan the magazine? Rev. W. D. Vater, of Attica, Ind.. chose the. latter course, and as a result of the acquaintance thus opened Miss Elizabeth Brey, piauist of the Third , Baptist church here, they were mar- ; ried this evening at the home of the ' bride's parents. Mr. and Mrs. W. L. C. ! Brey. :', V2 Bell avenue. Chance j brought the two together after they had missed the trains they had plan-! ned to take. Both were going to San j Francisco and they were five days on ' the ear ' MINERS' CONGRESS FAVORSJHORT DAY International Body Meeting in Paris. Paris. June 1 At the International Miners' Congress a resolution was passed in favor of an eight-hour day. including the descent to and the ascent from mines. Where the temper-' ature is excessive or there are noxious gases in the mines the day would be reduced to six hours. The congress after passing these resolutions voted that pressure should be exerted in ev- j ery oountry to make these hours Iegai,j

LIKES ALL OF THEN,

State of Louisiana Will Hear Men High in Big Political Parties. SOME DOUBT EXISTS New Orleans. La.. June 10. Because of the doubt attached to the true attitude of Louisiana's democracy, toward the candidacy of Governor Jon:. A. Johnson of Minnesota and William J. Bryan for the democratic nomination for president, it has been decided to give both of these gentlemen an opportunity to appear before the people of the state. This decision was mad-'.-ou the part of the New Orleans Progressive Union, the membership of which includes a majority of the leading men of Louisiana. In behalf of this organization, invitations to uome to New Orleans, iis soon a-s possible and address the people of were today wired to both Johnson and Mr. Bryan. Orleans Progressive I'nion non political organization, the state Governor The New being- a however. and including in its membership thleading republicans of the state, caused the committee having the matter in charge to decide that it would be the best, form to treat democrats and republicans alike, and accordingly similar invitations were extended to Secretary of War Taft, Governor Hughes, of New York, Vice President Fairbanks, Speaker Cannon and Senator Philander Knox. ASSOCIATIONS WANT CREDIT CURRENCY Appeal to Taft to Use His Influence. Washington, June 10. Secretary Taft has been appealed to by the Merchants' association of New York and the Trades league of Philadelphia to use his influence In behalf of credit currency. He was told that the Currency commission as constituted was not unprejudiced; that the bond-secured currency, or Aldrlch plan, as it Is generally known, was favored by a majority of the members of the commis sion, ajnd that in this respect the progressive business interests of the country had not been given a square j deal. HELD UP BURGLAR; WOMAN JSREWAR0E0 Deed of Valor Is Loudly Praised. Wabash, Ind., June 10. Declaring Mrs. William Shepherd the greatest heroine he ever knew. Sheriff George Freeman, on behalf of the Wabash circuit, court, officials, presented her with a boue.net of flowers at the conclusion of her testimony today. Armed with a loadori shotsim, she had given chase to John Harrison, a. dosperatf negro, and captured him, holding him until the officers arrived at their home in a remote section of the city. Harrison had robbed a home and was given an indeterminate prison sen-; tence. TWO KILLED AND FIVEJRE INJURED Collapse of Apartment House Disastrous. Washington, D. C, June 10. Two persons were killed and five others injured, two of them seriously, when an apartment house in course of construction at Twentieth and P streets, in the fashionable section of the city, collapsed. All were workmen employed at The building. The dead are: Lemuel King and Richard West, a negro. The injured: William C. Miller, Geo. Crayton. a negro: Roy Downs, Thos. tsasey ana Kicnard heeler, a ne; rro. MERRY WIDOW WALTZ IS NOHECOGNIZED Dancing Masters Will Rule Against It. Chicago. June 10. Roller skating, the Merry Widow waltz, cake walks, and other forms of diversion in the pavilion and ball-room must be shelved if the United States is to keep abreast of the other countries in the matter of terpsiehorean art. This was the keynote sounded at the 2oth annual convention of the American National Association of Masters of Dancing which met here. The waltz and tho two-sten will b retained. The new dances to be introduced and accepted have not ben decided upon definitely. The typical American dance, the barn dance, has been officially recognized by the convention. Go.d Medal Flour leads them aJL Scum.

THE

According to the Lord's Dictionary. It is told of a minister, a great rrecisiouist ia the use of words, that on one occasion ia the course of an eloquent prayer he pleaded: "O Lord, waken thy cause in the hearts of this eon prewar ion and p'.ve them new eyes to see and r.ew impulse to do. Send down thy lever or lee-ver, according to Webster's or Worcester's dictionary, whichever thou usest, and f ry them Into activity." j roiNTS or view. ( I would r.ot have trus-Vd the bee with a sting j Nor the frnat with a taste for m,,t; ' I would not have hidden in brake and ' UnK I The adder that haunts my fert: j I would not have bristled the l.c-Jge with thorns I Nor poisoned the hemes red: j I wou:.l not have fashioned the bullock a I horr.s j Xor ndiled the night with dread. I would not have burdened the sun with spot Nor put out the rr.on so quickly; I would not set snails in the p.ir-.len plots Nor scatter the weeds so ihiolvly: But. knowing the world ia God's, not mine. I fancy the gnat and the bee. The adder, the hush and the horned kino Must wonder why Goi made me. Conscious of Her Girth. A trolley car had collided with a milk cart and sent can after can of milk splashing into the street. Soon a crowd gathered. A man, coming up, had to stand on tiptoe and keep dodging his head about to s-e past a stout lady in front of him. "Goodness." he exclaimed, "what on awful waste!" The stout lady turned and glared at him. "Mind your own business!" sho snapped. Every body's. Ha Had Already Tried. An Irishman, poln into a restaurant for the first time after coming to this country, sat down at the table with a man who was eating raw oysters. He did not know what they were, but when the waiter came to get his order he said, "Bring me some of thim things." The waiter complied with his request. Pretty soon after that he went to see If his customers desired anything else. The Irishman was sitting looking at the oysters in such a peculiar way the waiter said: "What's the matter, sir?" And rat said, "Can you ate thlm things?" Waiter Yes. Tut Well, let me see you ate one. Walter All right. Pat Can you kape it down? Waiter Yes. Pat Well, you're a better mon than I am, thin, for I've had thlm down twice, and they won't 6tay. Judge's Library. Selfishness Rebuked. A poor old man, busily planting an apple tree, was rudely asked: "What do you plant trees for? You can't expect to eat the fruit of them." He raised himself up and, leaning upou his spade, answered: "Some one planted trees before I was born, and I have eaten the fruit. I now plant for others to show my gratitude when I am dead." Her First Railroad Ride. An old lady in Missouri took her first railroad trip the other day. She noticed the bell cord overhead, and, turning to a boy, she said, "Sonny, what's that for?" "That, marm," he said, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, "Is to rlDS the bell when you want something to eat." Shortly afterward the old lady reached, her umbrella up aud Rave It a vigorous pull. The train wa In the middle of a trestle. The whistle sounded, the brakes were pulled on, the train bepan to slacken Its Fpeed, windows w ere thrown up, questions asked, and eojifusion reigned among the passengers. The old lady sat calmly through it all. Presently the conductor came running through tho train and asked, "Who pulled the bell?" "I did," replied the old lady meekly. "Well, what do you want?" asked the conductor impatiently. "Well." said the old lady meditatively, "you may bring me a ham sandwich and a cup of tea, please." Butler Democrat. Familiar. "I've seen you haul away many a load of ashes," said a resident of Mobile, Ala., to kd old darky as he was preparing to depart with the customary load. I've never had the least Idea of your name. What Is it?" "Mah name Is Gawge Washin'ton, sah." "George Washington, eh? It seems to me I've heard that name before." "Reckon you has. sah. 'cause I's been haulin' 'way ashes from yo' house fo' rnore'n ten years." A Wonderful Country. An Irish contractor In Pan Francisco sent to Ireland for hi-? father to join him. The journey was a great event for the old man. who had lived In rural districts all his life, nnd he reacned San Francisco much excised. After several days of sitrhtseeinz. h;3 son resumed his business and s':sgsted that his father should visit the Presidio. "And phwat's the Pre;d:o?" asked the old man. "The Presldlo.f'fathor, is the trovnment reservation fur the soldiers a fine bit of park and you'll enjoy yourself." At the end of a strenuous day the i;.i man stood gazing at the Hg buildings, comparing them with the small huts of his old home. Per-'nz a soldier nr-ar, he tapped him on the shoulder. "Me bye. phwat's that string of houses forninst us?" "Why. those are the officers' quarters." "And that wan with the big smokestack?" " "Tint's the cook shanty." ! "Shanty, is it? Weil, 'tis a great j country; 'Tis palaces they're uslnsr." The young man offered to show him the new gymnasium. On the way the sundown gun was discharged Just as thev .nassgd.. .Ihe old manznucb atar-

SCRAP

tied. cauKlit h:co:i:paaio:is arm. "Phwat's that. r..w?" "Sundown. Lng. "Sundown. Don't the s-i bump ia th! replied his friend, jmllis it? Thick of that, now; n d'lwn with a terrib! t-oiKitry 1" l.ip; ::u ett's. De Jure and De Facts. "Are you up on I.attn, ir.y ilea; "What do you want to kv.ow Inquired, with prefer ecu: ion. sh l v. .tnt t. Mii'W the d.tterenoe be twi-t-n de j'.irv :'.i;d '.t f.ief." "Well." sho said, studying a moment, "you are at the head of this family do jure." "Yes. I understand that." "And." she eoi;-luded. with some visor. "I am the head of it de facto." D;dn't Admire Mrs. Cleveland. A olubio young stirl was one day going from New York to New London when she found herself seated next to a pleasant faced woman who spoke to the girl, and after awhile the talk drifted to general topics. "Im you know." said the svl, "speakins; of lovely women. I was reading about Mrs. Grover Cleveland todny. She is my ideal of a lovely woman." and the girl launched forth into a torrent of extravuKant praise of the once mistress of the White House. Suddenly the girl perceived that her companion was rattier unresponsive. "Perhaps you don't agree with me about Mrs. Cleveland?" asked the girl. "I know her." said the woman. j "Don't you admire her?" j "Well, no, not especially." The girl changed the subject. i At Greenwich the lady rose to leave the traiu. and as she was leaving Fhe said to the girl: "I jtet out here. I'm visiting some friends. I hope some ; time w e may meet again. Here Is my ; card." ! When the train had started again the . girl looked at the card to find printed thereon: j "Mrs. Grover Cleveland." Ladies' j Home Journal. j i No Discrimination. "It is very pood of you. sir. to give ', me your seat." ! "Not at all. mum," said Pat. "It's a dooty we ow e to the sex. Some folks only do so when a woman Is younj? and pretty, but I says the sex, and not the Individual." An Endless Chain. When Lord Archibald Campbell fell In love with Miss Janet Callander and went to his father, the Duke of Argyll, for, his approval of the engagement, the duke said: "I'm delighted Nothing could be better, but er er hadn't you better let me speak tfl Lome? He might think we ought to consult the princess." So to his brother, the Marquis of Lome, now the Dukeol Argyll, they went, and he certainly thought that his wife should be consulted as to who should be admitted Into the family. "If Archie likes herk she suits me down to the ground," said the princess impulsively, "but, you know, I think I oujiht to speak to the queen." Her late majesty graciouslj approved of the match. "Rut. Louise, I think I ought to consult our German cousin first," she said, and accordingly wrote to the German emperor. The kaiser, the present emperor's grandfa-. ther, remembered having met Miss Callander and approved of the match, bul left his letter open because he did not care to answer finally without consult ins r.lsmarck. The kaiw.r found his chancellor and, telling him of the proposed alliance, asked what he thought When his sovereiKQ had finished Rismorck blew a cloud of fmoke and re- , plied: "Me? Oh, I don't care a ha mil" j The Same One. A youujr country minister, who had been presented with a horse by a rich farmer parishioner, rode the animal home to exhibit him to his father. The old gentleman studied the horse carefully and observed that he seemed very aged and Infirm. "Well, father, you ought not to complain of him even if he Is old and feeble j It is a good deal better animal than out Saviour rode into Jerusalem nineteen' hundred years ago." "I don't know, John. I think It's the same animal." Hie Disease. ! Congressman Hamilton of Mlchigau ' went out for a walk In the country. ' The day was hot. and when he had gone a few miles he sat on a fence tc rest. I "Want a ride?" asked a teamster, who came by. j "Yes, thank you," Hamilton replied. Hamilton was thinking of a plan to: pet a bridge for the Paw Paw river; and said nothing. Finally the teamster asked. "Professional man?" "Yes." The teamster wanted further infer-1 mation. A few minutes later he said: "You ain't a lawvor or you'd be talkin?. Yo i ain't a doctor or you'd have n satchel. You ain't a preacher fx cause you cussed when you bark'-a your shin otthjg !:.ro the wagon. Say, mister, what is your profession any how ';" "I ?! m a p-v ir'fjan." "Huh," f-orted the teamster, "polltics ain't no profession. Politics la j de:;::e:" Too Much "I've a-j sail the search of ro.; l hors. of a Good Thing, the tv thing yo i want." 'tableman 1 1 a rura:it ;n a horse; "a tliorouhgoin I'll e years . id. sound as a tjuail. $!7."i cnh dvvn. and be goes '"Ti i.::ie v.-;th-ut stopp'ng." The purchaser threw his hands skv-: WL.rd. " "Not for me," he said: "not for me.! I voui-ln't gif you ." rents for him. I! ii'-'e eight miles out ia de country, and; Id h;if to v.aik back- two m:k-s." His Sense of Justice. The sma.l zrandson of flovprnor Cummins of Iowa is nor nermltte.1 f. eat doughnuts, but when visiting In the kitchen of a neighboring reiatlv the cook presented him with one of these deiio-cies. and he ate It with perfect eu torment-

BOOI Ail wo;;:' hate gone well had not an overpowering sece of his obligations mastered the cu prtt. Curious investlsat.ons were tl;e uatural outeomo whoa he srnd his usual prayer that nUht liud ilii-ri hesitantly added this bi: f but itUTiii;i;;uti:sK petition: "An - Mis 1 p: use b.ess Auut Cora's hired g:r.."-L: ppmeott'i Net Wl-i: He Came For. i..y w;is a.-diiusj Sunday and Iv tumbled iato the crvek. A sr.i.i.i accidental! As an ..Id nun tne bank was heloin him out he ssid. "How did you come to fail in the river, my little ma n ?" ' i didn't come to fall In the river. 1 came to fish." Ladies' Home Journal. An Optimistic Vie-w. A farmer was anxious that his son should Iwouie a minister, and for this laudub'.e end he sent him to college far four ears. To his great disappointment, the youth balked at the ministry and set himself up as a borse trader. The old farmer told his prlef to a nelchbor. who. however, took a more optimistic view. "Oh. I wouldn't feel Nidlr about that." he said. "As a hoes trader Bill will probably lead more men to repentance than be ever wrouM have as a preacher." Observing Regulations. A new national guardamaa was on sentry duty one night during bis first encampment when a friend brought him a pie from the canteen. As be sat on the grass eating the pie the major taunt ered up In undress. The sentry, cot recognizing him. did not salute, and the major stopped and said: "What's that you have there?" "Pie," t,ald the sentry good naturedly. "Apple pie. Have a bit?" "Do you know who I imT' "No," said the sentry, "unless you're the major's groom." "Guess again." "The barber from the village?" "No." "Maybe" here the sentry langned "maybe you're tbe major himself? "That's right. I am the major," was the stern reply. The sentry scrambled to his feet. "Good gracious!" be exclaimed. "Hold the pie, will yon, while I present arms!" Hogs and Tim. A northerner riding through West Virginia came up with a mountaineer leisurely drlrlnf a herd of pigs. "Where are you driving the pigs to?" asked the rider. "Out to pasture to fatten 'em a bit." "Isn't It pretty slow work to fatten them on grass? Up where I came from we pen them up aud feed them on corn. It saves a lot of time." "Hell! What's tirue to a hawg?" Ettry body's. Epigram by Andrew Carnegie. Wealth lessens rather than increases human happiness. Millionaires who lauxh are rare. To educate the people is tbe foundation of all true progress. They'll do the rest themselves. I never was miserable. I don't ses how any man can be if be does what ho feels to be right. "TVr nave and to serve, not to malm and destroy." that will be the text of the hero by and by. The only sure way to keep "the submerged tenth" from drowning Is to teach them to swim for themselves. Old ajrc should be spent not In "making mlckle mair," but In making good use of what huH tx---n mcqalnnt. There Ss no herica&e like Ijeina; bora poor. Tie leaders and teachers of this nation rime from the poor. I would rather be grandson to one who could teach me to make shoos than the descendant of thirty' " worthless dakes. I believe in true democracy. When the people are really Interested la anything their voice will be heard at the polls. This republic Is Immortal. No matter what trouble it goes through, it will weather It without having Its foundations shaken. If you stand near a good thing, plunpe well into it. Fear is old womanish; it has kept untold millions from making fortunes. I think I am the greatest optimist ever born. Were I to choose a motto It should be. "All Is well since all grows better." I object to the term philanthropist when applied to myself. I have always understood it to mean a man with more money than brains. I do not believe In the socialistic Ides or municipal ownership, but a proper ownership Is as certain as that I am alive. Poverty develops us. It makes as work our hard"st It brings out the hst In us. But bravery must go band in hand with adversity else we are doorr.f-d. I never worry about whether or no I am fo be forgotten after death. I'll put my wealth to the bet use as I see it, and time will tell whether I have exercised a wie discretion. Had Missed It. "WLat are you crying for, my poor little boy ':" said a man to a crying boy. "Pa fed downstairs." "Don't take oa so. lay boy. He'll get better ssoou." "That isn't it. Sister saw Llm fall all the wa; I never saw nuffen. Hi Time Limit. A girl got on a Cleveland street cat carrying one of those muffs the size of an ordinary hassock. She had only one hand ia the muff. A young man sitting neit to ber took advantage of the opportunity to slip his hand into th.f unoccupied end of the muff. The girl turned upon him severely. "I could have you arretted for such a familiarity." said she. "but I'm from Boston, and I propose to keep eaim. Now, I'll just giv? you ten minutes to let go of i, v ' d " . tiis cuscsras Too, 'read carefaDr. Ut. ,eU' fejrrup Pepsin Isroattiselr ywaraa--d to core iadisestioa.coaattpaMoa. feketMO- - tx, offensive breath. maiaxiaaa lii t iieen i u:siBZ from stomach treats.