Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 32, Number 151, 23 June 1907 — Page 7
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Copyright, 1907, by TAfwaj . HcKtt. YOU may not have known that Rahway i3 a literary center. Perhaps It Isn't now, as the 3. S. S. has gone out of business, though there may be other ll'.erary aspirants doing business In the town. Let this foe a leffon to them not to depend upon pretty girls in their business.. The S. S. S., or Short Story Syndicate, was started bout two years ago, and it lasted for ten months. ,Thn came the sensational finish which gives ft its present literary value As the last survivor jf the company, the rights to the story are mine so herd cop.We thought we were geniuses when we began: w knov better now. The only genius in the combine was tho Prettiest Girl in Rahway. Let me legir. with, the dramatis personae. Adoniram Chase: a chap of Puritan-Pilgrim tock. with four expensive years' experience at Harvard, where he did not graduate. He was nothing less than a human dynamo, keen as a needle, merr as a hand-organ, a wiry, springy chap, with an infectious laugh. He might be called the brain? of the conspiracy. Mark McComus; a night drug clerk in Elizabeth; a licensed pharmacist with a diploma. He was of the melancholy type, a poet down to his socks. He wan the kind who knows all about "atmosphere" and "color" and all that sort of thing not the dirty paper-collary kind exactly, but enough of ti scarecrow in an amateur way to be picturesque. Me: I started as a civil engineer, and turned several right angles, in my career. I've done cowpunching, architecture of the suburban shingled variety, and thence, through book-cover designing, poster drawing, to what I pleased to call Literature. And lastly: the Prettiest Girl in Rahway Clara Foster, a dyed-in-the-woo'. blonde, with a complexion like an early spring sunrise and a contralto voice fit to subdue a cavo-man In a rage. No, not cage. She would have been given the thirty-third degree and no questions asked by any beauty doctor In the United States or Europe. She simply dazzled jou. As for men she Just lit 'em and threw 'em away, like fire-crackers. How she ever happened to float into Rahway, I never knew; but
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in y - yv;'v':?1-:;f " " ' ,:y-- 1 y T,. -y ; "ys. 7 y, vvt:v-yj-''H .f..'vy-y . f - ..-..,;; - ,.y- - 'sfssf? SUE SIMPLY (When h first appears upon the horizon she Is n ; typewriter at a spool factory at tn dollars a week. That was the bottom of the ladder for her. The last I heard she was still climbing. You can't stop : a girl like that, and prophecy hides its shamed head. Well. Adoniram and Mac and I had txme together by chance over a chessboard at the Y. M. C. A. building, and It wasn't long before we had all discovered a consanguijjaly of Soul. We were all writing, on the sly, ancwe all had vaulting ambitions. Adoniram had had two stories printed In a five-cent magazine (one was Illustrated, too), and McComus had contributed to the poet's corner In an Elizabeth paper. I had been bothering the big monthlies a gxod deal, beginning at the top, as Emerson edrles. and I scorned anything but Art, which I then defined as the sort of stuff that wont sell. Oh. yea, I wa too good for them, and all that! I ha.t it pretty bad. Natai ally, it was Adoniram. the schemer, who first suggested the Short Story Syndicate, and as soon as his plot was elucidated we came in stronj? tor it. His Idea was that w hire a barn or some old place where we wouldn't be disturbed, partition it off, and each of ua have his own room where
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we could work undisturbed, and one common room . where we could discuss plots and style and criiicla each other's work. Artist3 do the same thins and profit by the fellowship. It worked pretty well, and we got a lot of stimulation and encouragement out of each other. At first, each man was for himself, but Adoniram wasn't satisfied with that as we found It hard to piy the rent after the second month, and so, under his direction we became frankly commercial and started the Syndicate. We had had a good bunch of rejections that week, and a radical change seemed necessary. "See here," Adoniram said, "we've got to pull together more. Divided we stand to lose our last cent: and united we fall from our ideals but win thr; ecln. We must organize and use modern methods. We must cooperate. Personal Influence with the editors is what counts, nowadays, and we muse get oui stuff pushed that way. Who's going to push it"" He paused dramatically for a reply. He always was keen on the Socratic method of argument. But none of us seemed to answer. We'd had some r.ersonal experience with editors, and had failed to secure a sphere of influence. Somehow rone of us had the magnetism, the charm and tha Certain Something necessary to change MSS. into "copy." Adoniram waited for us to become sufficiently pessimistic, and then he sprung his bolt. "What we'vo got to have," he exclaimed, waving a manuscript, "is a girl the prettiest girl we can hireto cajole editors with. Who is the prettiest girl in R3hway?" There was only one answer to that question. "Clara Foster!" we cried as one man. "Clara Foster is elected!" said Adoniram. "She is now typewriting for ten per in Hoboken, at the spool factory, and on that stipend she arrays herself like the Queen of Sbeba with a Marcel wave, and goes to matinees in New York. Query: Can v.e raise the ten a week, and perhaps raise it to eleven, and train her to bewilder the Gotham editor with our genius? Answer: We can! I hereby appoint myself a committee of one to Investigate, arrange, bribe and report. The collection for incidental expenses will now take place."
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.. - - Br . . V :C;S;:-.;-:'i;.i:. r&S'':;:::::';-,; ;. ey $4V .iv'Ai y":iy":t'ry':i .-y.-. v-yyr'yy;: - - T'fiiV..: y.:U:..iV;-i:C ; DAZZLED YOU. We made it unanimous. Adoniram got away vlth twenty-four dollars and disappeared. Thre days later he appeared at the headquarters of the S. S. S. with the Prettiest, paid for a fortnight in advfcnce. The Prettiest knew something about business methods from her experience in the spool-factory, and this wisdom the combined with the use of her blue eyes In proportions that made the ordinary man throw up his hands and empty his pockets. She was very patient when we gave her her instructions as to how to approach the throne room3, but It was evident that se intended to see the thing through in her own sweet way. We loaded her up with fresh, new-laid MSS., as she declined to carry any shop-worn stock. That put us behind about a week, but In the meantime she had been in New York doing editorial sancta. and had Inserted a few wedges. We asked no questions, the way she had hypnotized us being pretty good, security for her ability to soothe and charm. In her Idle time, while we watched her, with the points of our pencils in our mouths, she sat about and made pictures of herself in the S. S. 8. offloe. snd ate chocolates. x i" "i v ""4
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She set out in earnest, loaded for big gam with two ahort stories of Adoniram's, a humorous article of mine on "Hearing New York" (the scheme was to bottle the noises and sell them as a remedy for nostalgia . and half a dozen Christmas poems of Mac's. It was July then, but they were all written under the irifluence of her azure glances, etc., etc., and they did have a zip to them. To our mad surprise she sold seventy per cent of them, and returned with forty dollars spot cash. We raised her salary immediately to twelve a week and expenses. Then we got busy turning out stuff. You've no idea hjw it helps to have a few things sell! She used the common meeting-room as her headquarters, but ehe seldom had it to herself, for we would work like mad to get a chance to read our things to her and watch for her expression to change. Shu had only about three patient boredom, patronizing amusement and rapture. We seldom drew rupture, but we always hoped for It, and expected it. The Prettiest had a mind as near to that of the Average Reader as it would be possible to find. If you boiled down the whole Mississippi Valley into one brain, that would be Clara Foster's. We reverenced her opinions accordingly. It was an education and a joy to have Old Subscriber always ready to listen and give her verdict through lips like those of the Prettiest. It began to dawn upon us that Art and Common Sense needed no divorce. She said one of two things: either "1 like it," or "'don't like it!" She didn't bother you with analysis and reasons. Our next step in cooperation was to pool out Interests, and, abandoning our lust for private fame, we sent everything we wrote out under the name of E. Marr. Fiction and poetry, humor, pathos and essay, it all travelled to New York In the Prett test's green cloth bag attached to that short, romantic name. Before long E. Marr began to win a mild renown In the magazine field, and we didn't dare Hlit up the partnership for fear of sinking bac't into the ranks of the Great Unknown. Our . best customer was the Public Magazine, a brisk, new illustrated paper, and E. Marr was getting four cents a word for everything sold. But It wasn't always easy to satisfy the editor, who seemed to hav? more personality than most of them, and not even the Prettiest Girl in Rahway could force all our manuscripts down his throat. She went to see him regularly twice a week, though, and we worked like elephants to keep her provided with ammunition. Now, as I've said, her first attitude towards our work was that of modest ignorance of art, a mere expression of interest or the reverse. Soon, however, we noticed a change in her menta! processes. Sho seemed to be growing up to us, mentally, and she delivered cold, practical suggestions with a remarkably steady aim. From this, she semetimes got to actual analysis and critical advice. It did een funny that she was developing so fast, but what she said proved to be o true when sha came to sell tho work, that we got to rely on her more and more. I think, too, at about this time we befran to mix up our opinion of her Intelligence with our opinion of her looks. One day the Prettiest went a step further and came out with a new scheme she had evidently been thinking out for some days. I had noticed that she hadn't eaten so much candy, and expected a crisis. "What you want to do is to divide up the labor, the same as they do in a factory," she said, "Aay business man would know better than to do this hit-or-miss way. You want to specialize, and each man ought to do what he can do best. Adoniram, here. Is mo;t Ingenious at plots, but h can't write a good live story with human interest or uplift In It. Mark MacComus ought to do all that, for h6's got Just heaps of pathos and local color and characterization and all that. You"1 pointing a pencil at me "have the best literary style. You ought to do the relishing and. whacking Into. Bhape. and the architectfual part, the finish and the sparkle. We ought to talk over tho story and let Adoniram rough It out till he's got the mass. Then Mic will put in a whole lot of feeling and blood and poetry, and then you. Jack, will boir it over and tharpen it up and rearrange it and sandpaper the edges. Then, I'll sell it. We can do better work and more of it, that way. What d'you say?" We looked at the Prettiest in amazement, then we surrendered. She had no Imagination; it was only good horse business sense. But combined with her dimples it convinced us completely. She was elected General Manager of the Syndicate. She insisted upon a roll-top desk, and she got it. She bought a blue pencil out of her own money. Then we proceeded to open the works on strict commercial principles, keeping office hours from 10 a. m. till 4 p. m., with an hour off for lunch. Things went briskly with the S. S. S. after that. We saw more of the Prettiest, and she did seem to have the art of making the sun shine on all sides of the house at once. I've seen curls and dimples before, and I thought I was girl-proof, but the Prettiest had a Cupid's bow mouth into the bargain, and white teeth that made her smile sheer magic. The trouble began when Adoniram started to go Into executive session with the General Manager two or three times in a forenoon. Mac and I didn't like It a little bit. When the two of them had a consultation and put their heads together, the heads came a little too close. , - "This thing of Ad's conning her so ought to be stopped," McComus said to me, after he'd stood It as long as he could. "The girl has no mother to warn her, and I think it's up to us to give her a hint not to see so much of him. Besides, he's neglecting his work." "You're right," I said. 'Til have a talk with her about It." "No. I think It will be better for me to do it," he said, decidedly. "I'm the oldest, and I'll be more brotherly, you know." We finally compromised by making ourselves v. committee of two, and the next time Adoniram was off duty, wo stated our .views to her. The Prettiest was surprised, she was grieved, she was hurt by our suspicions. She threatened to leave if vre didn't like the way she acted. That scared us so that wo smoothed it over as well as we could, and by the time that was over and she had turned her smile on again, we were in no condition to give advice. In a week McComus and I were racing eo hard for her favor that poor Adoniram had to interfere and protest. For tome time we watched each other and made remarks, but the Prettiest was as cool as glass and played no favorites. But pretty soon we had another complaint. She was going into town bo often that we missed her something fierce. We'd got into the habit of working where we could look over the top of tho table to tee her for the inspiration, you know and it was no fun at all watching an empty roll top and a vacant chair. To be sure she c'd sell our stuff, but we couldn't understand why she tick so much time ever it. Mac suggested that che send the manuscripts off by mall. "Then I ought to resign," she said. "A Prettiest Girl stands no better show by mall than auj.te else, and if I'm nothing more than a mere ornament to th'.s ofllce, why " "We're perfectly willing to vay you for iha inspiration you bring to us," said Adoniram. "Oh. inspiration wasn't in the contract," the Prettiest answered. "1 have to go to New York to keen from being stared to death. Besides, I have to do some chopping, if I want to dress the part." We were then in the midst of a 35,000 word novelette, our most ambitious attempt. It was as
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pretty a piece of literary dovetailing as you ever saw. But we did need the Prettiest badly, for she was certainly keen on feminine psychology, and everything about women was passed up to her from how to cook oatmeal to fashionable weddings. As a woman she did excel. She was all the women you ever met. rolled into one. We put her into every story we ever wrote. She was like a model In a studio. Adoniram used to call out, "Oh, Clara, please come ir here a minute I want to describe how a girl's hand looks as it rests on a man's 6houlder!" And before he had finished (it always took a suspiciously long time), McComus would butt In, to say: "Say, Clara, suppose I was a man you'd never seen but twice, and as I left you at your door I tried to fciss you. Just show me how you'd-act. will you? This is the way he Is suppoed to do It!" Of course I needed her, too, and whenever I had a good faft love scene to do I insisted upon her help. Besides, I had to probe her soul for the Ineffable as regards the dialect current In typewriting circles. We had long ago recognized the folly of interfering with each other, for we always had good, legitimate excuses on hand, and finally we settled into a sort of armed neutrality, and it was tactily agreed that we were three rivals and the best man was to win. Not that the Prettiest was consulted in this, however; it was decided without actual! saying so, at an indignation meeting we held to protest at her going up to town three times in ona week. Meanwhile the Public Magazine was a steady buyer of the works of J2. Marr. From the Internecine contest In the rooms of the S. S. S. the rivalry was carried on out of office hours. I had a friend who owned an automobile and he was willing to lend it to me for merely the repairs. In this way I secured a valuable block of Clara I oster's time, and I invested it to good advantage. Clara looked the Prettiest even in a leather coat and deep-sea diving goggles, and she always put her hand on my arm In a frightened way when we turned sharp curves. Other things of a mildly exciting nature happened till I began to feel pretty sure that I was going to come in ahead of the bunch. I put It upto her straight, out at the Hermitage. I was as scared as if I were offering a story to an editor. She blushed and seemed to be a bit worried about It. "I never expected this," shs told me. "Really, you don't know how surprised I am. You'll simply have to give me timw to think It over. I think I shall take a vacation for a week, anyway, fo.-I'm tired, and you know I have worked pretty hard out of office hours with you, haven't I? Do . you mind If I don't decide till then, and write you a note in answer?"
3 WE REVERENCED I was such a fool, in fact, that I began to joke McComus about her throwing him down. "Don't be too gay about that!" he said. "In about a week I expect to give you a piece of news that'll make you sit up and take notice. You may think I've been sitting on the fence waiting for you and Clara to go by, but there's a little rowboat and a well-worn copy of 'Lucille' that have witnessed important conversations between me and Miss Foster, and don't you ignore that!" I pumped him then without delicacy and foun.l that he was expecting a letter in reply to his proposal. After comparing notes we adjourned to Adoniram lu a body and collected his evidence. "I'm only waiting for the little word 'accepted.' ' fce said, "before I announce my resignation and
Clara's from the 8. 8. 8. There'll be no printed form ecconjpanying my beat piece of work. I'm sorry boys, but I can't hold out hope to you. You're etung." , 'We had a pretty sad old time, that week, in th factory, and we watched the mails as we used to la the old days before we had an agent. It dldn'l seem like the old place without the Prettiest a her roll-top desk, sucking a blue peneil and smil Ing at each one ia turn. The first mall on Monday brought na three let ter. all addressed by typewriter. Inside they wetf all three alike: "Miss Foster regrets to say that the propeeud you have been so kind as to offer, is not at present available. Her needs are limited to special latests with which she is now well supplied, so that a declination does not necessarily imply any fault or lack of excellence on the part of the offer submitted. Thanking you for favoring her with the same, she desires to announce that she is about to assume the management of the Editor of the Public Magazine." That was why she had been going to New York three times a week. That was why K. Marr had succeeded so well with the Public. That waa xwiere she had got her ideas on criticism and her technical hints. We wrote a round robin to the editor upon his engagement, voted thanks to oar ex-manager, and then the factory shut down. Collaboration without the friendly office of the Prettiest Girl in Rahway would have been absurd. The Company disbanded and shared the treasury. Clara Foster appeared next day in a new hat a wonder. She was not only the Prettiest Girl in Rahway, but the Prettiest Girl on the Atlantic Seaboard, the Prettiest on the Continent in the World! She greeted us warmly, but there was a shade of anxiety in her demeanor. After a few words, and a smile apiece, she eat down at her old place by the roll-top desk. "You know I've done all I could for the 8. 8. 8.. don't you, ioys? she asked. We agreed, and she ventured to smile again. "I've told your stuff and raised the prices, and delivered the money, haven't I? You've never done so welt before, and you've made lots of money, haven't you?" We nodded sadly. Not one of us but would have rather had Clara than fame or wealth or success. "Then there's one thing I want to tell you, and I want to ask you all a favor." We waited in gloom. "I hate to confess it. but really, it wasn't much of a fib. I don't see how It hart you any. Bat
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':'"'W HER OPINIONS. you know editors are eo funny! The editor of. the Public positively Insisted upon knowing who E. Mrrr as, and I couldn't sell it unless I told him. So I said I was really E. Marr and that's why he talked the stuff over so I could make it better. Promise that you won't ever, ever tell!" Wo promised, and with that she took a copy of the Book Worm from her green bag and opened it to a pge. There was a picture of the Prettiest Girl in Rahway, and an account of her phenomenal literary career. "But," Adoniram stammered, "what If he aaka . you to trri'.e again?" The Prettiest Girl in Rahway smiled. "Oh, we're alt oinc to always be the best of friends, arent we?" she said Joyously.
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