Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 31, Number 358, 3 February 1907 — Page 9

THE I'.TIMOND. !Xi A

P.: LL ADIUM.

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THIS COMPLETE STORY I3 one of the great series secured for our readers. Coming as they do from writers of marked originality and diversity of talent, these stories are varied in character and each successive one wilT be found unique of its kind. The present story, "The Rival Janitors," by Charles Fort, presents with rare humor, and yet with a sub-stratum of relentless truth to life, a phase of existence that is daily becoming more prominent in the larger cities of the country. The pictures for the series mark a new departure in the art of illustrating, both in letter and in spirit, the characters and scenes described by the writers. It is a departure never before attempted in the par?s of a newspaper and seldom achieved in those of the h:hcst class magazines. I.. Adams Searl, the artist who has illustrated "The Rival Janitors" with so many and with such vivid sketches, has fully caught the spirit of the story and has presented the characters and the scenes among which they move with all the humor and truth- for which his pencil is noted.

Copyright, 1906, by Thomat It. McKtt. BLUE river, white-flecked with the flying gulls. A slaughter house and a brewery. len Caskoucn s row ot tenement nouses. Krom far away, Caskoden Row would catcu your eye. A fluttering, ana a waving, ana a -rapping of quilt3, table cloths, towels, shirts, skirt3, wrappers, aprons and overalls all out on the fire""rscape landings, which were really balconies, for not a Udder connecting them one with another was to be ,-"cen. There were wash tubs on the balconies, jugs, boil5rs, demijohns, coal scuttles," chopping bowls, baskets, 'hirty ash cans, three in front of each house. Women ", 'Jn the windows hissing like a gallery at an abduction in melodrama hissing to a rag man, jingling along -with a strap full of different-sized dinner bells. Across the street was the real estate office of the pgent of the property. Caskoden Row was very dis- : reputable-looking, but from his office the agent could V ee only spots of it. ,'( Janitor Bantry, smoking an inverted corn-cob, stood "n the toop of Number 580, and languidly surveyed the Kow. There was a good deal of energy in Janitor f llantry; but the energy turned to tired melancholy as he surveyed the Row, and thought of halls and stairs badly in need of a broom. 4 Janitor Bantry looked behind the iron railing extending the length of the Row. Behind the railing were discarded shoes, stove pipes, flower pots, a window shade, tomato cans, paper, rags. The janitor was look-k-fng unhappy, when the harness maker from the next .Xfclock came along.- Then: "Ah, good morning, Mr. Straggler! Just the man V f wanted to see." ' Mr. Straggler's mouth widened into an expectant 'grm, for the janitor always had some good story to tell. "Well, what do you want to see me about this mornlag, Bantry?" TWhy, yes! Now, what is it I was going to say? i HVelL it ain't like an autty-mobile that has. just run ' ' you down ; it will come back again. Did I ever tell - Jrou about the hypnotized rats?" Funny story. Harness maker went his way, laughing heartily. Janitor Bantry, ': himself, looked almost as amused then melancholy ' again. Melancholy indeed I Thirty ash cans would have to be set back in the yards. Thirty torments " played through the janitorial mind until ) Ah, Mr. Grossbeak t I've been looking all over for ."- you. Let's seel What was it I wanted to say? Oh, .well, it ain't like a burglar you've trapped in your wine T. cellar; it won't go consuming nothing in the meantime. Did I ever tell you about when I was selling lightning-rods up Canada way?" Another story, and f then the janitor sauntered to the corner, turned his hack upon work undone, and .tried to think of nobler, ' things. This is why tenants in the neglected houses said : "Never you fear ! The agent will wake up some day, andthen Bantry will be out of a job. He'll wish he had "done a little work, then." ' So, one morning, no one was astonished when, out n the stoop, between waves of his hand to hardwood . men, harness makers, and tobacconists, the janitor re- , marked, dejectedly, to a tenant: "It's true you can't tell who your friends aret And "GOOD MORNING, MR. STRAGGLER!

' Next WeeMo 66 Peeping Tonf9 by luss

him over there in hij office, I've knowed twenty ye.ars. I'm getting pretty old now to have trouble like this ah, good morning, Mr. Schmidt. Just the man I've been wanting to sec ! Oh, well, it ain't like a marble on a greased plank, jt won't run away." The expected had happened ! A consultation in the first-floor rooms! Mrs. Tarino, tall young Irish woman, was saying to her sprightly little Italian husband: "Leo, go right over to the agent, before anybody is engaged. I told you long before to put in your application, because anybody could see Mr. Bantry would 1) JUST THE MAN I WANTED TO SEE."

lose his job." But the shades, visible in spot3 behind insurance signs, were drawn, and told that the agent had not yet reached his office. A second-floor consultation ! Long-armed Mrs. Mixer, with muscles in crooked ridges on her long arms. And Mixer, himself, furtive-eyed; head thrust out like a vulture's from lumps of shoulder blades. Mixer was saying: "I'm tired to death working in hotel kitchens for six a week and taking every chef's abuse ! We'll get these Louses and our twenty a month and rent free! The agent ain't conic in his office yet, but j-oti and me start ritrlrt in and be doing the work when he comes. He'll hire us if he comes and finds us "

"HAVE YOU ROOMS "Sweeping down the stairs!" from Mrs. Mixer. She seized a broom; made a turban oi a towel; cut a llour Lag and made an apron of it. "I'll put on my jumpers!" cried Mixer. Out in the l;all, Loth of them! Two brooms surging down the stairs. Then in the first-floor rooms! "Leo," said Mrs. Tarino. petulantly, "you've let some one beat you! Co see who it is that you've let beat you." Leo darted to the door paused, not liking to go out.

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WHAT IS IT THESE YOUNG PEOPLE ARE SAYING?

but then darted into the hall, and abruptly returned, slapping at his pockets, as if he had forgotten something. "Mamie" jumping on the floor, snapping his fingers, excitedly twitching his eyelids ''the Mixers are sweeping down the stairs! Mixer has a jumper on." "Then you put on your bar jacket!" advised Mrs. Tarino. And around h r own"" hair she wound a towel for a turban. But, unlike Mrs. Mixer, she looked in the mirror, patted the turban, pinned it another way, patted it again. And on with the white bar jacket, beside which mere junipers would indeed look dull and commonplace. Out in the hall with the broom-armed Tarinos. Competition began. From Mrs. Mixer, furiously sweeping dust down upon the white jacket below her, her gaunt muscular arm motioning to her husband to do the same. 'Oh, Mrs. Tarino. you was a very nice lady! Me and my husband said j-ou was a very nice lady, and never meant for rough work like taking care of houses. Oh. no. the soft, pretty bands you got!" - With austeritv. from Mrs. Tarino: 'Whatever my husband stelN me. I must do. WTien he tells me sweep down stairs, I must sweep down

stairs." And th.cn all iorrr were m the front hall, Ending ii embarrassing to pass melancho.y Baiury ua ine stoop, but all four determined to be janitors. AH four going to the next toue to sweep there, the iixcrs pausing to whine. "Oh, we're st sorry you're going to leave us, Mr. Bantry! We always said you was such a nice gentleman." "Oh, such a nice gentleman!" Head over lievls to sweep down the r.e.t house. But the headlong rnh was stopped by something overheard by MLfier. 11c heard Bantry saying to a man and woman: "Well, those people seem to be in charge now; you'd Letter sec them if you want rooms." Mixer turned about, caught his wife's long arm. yanked her about with him; both ran back to the stoop. "Have you rooms to rent?" A bull-dog-looking woman, fiat nose and remarkably wide nostrils; unsmiling, stolid face; tine, fresh complexion; tousseled hair. And a man with a hanging head. "Oh, yes. we have a floor!" from the Mixers. They looked at each other, eyes blinking with cunning. They led the way to a door, punctured as if it had been a gattling-gun target, where many different-sized spring locks had been fitted. 7 he Mixers rented the only vacant floor in the Row. Into tire third house with Jumpers White Jacket just emerging from the second hou?e. Mrs. Tarino patted and adjusted her turban, Tarino stumbled over his broom. They glanced up the street. Bantry had wandered away, but two strangers were standing on the stoop of Number 580. "Maybe they want to rent the third floor, Mamie!" from Tarino. "We rent the floor to them, and then where will the Mixers be with the agent? We get him a tenant and he gives us the job, sure thing!" Tarino leaped up the street and alarmed the strangers by forcing them back in the doorway, so that if the Mixers should appear the Mixers should know nothing of this coup. A placid, motherly looking old lady, hands calmly folded in front of her upon a little leather bag. And her son; irregular-featured roung fellow of twenty; a mouth that seemed to tprawl from cheek to cheek; soft-mannered, looking not very strong. 'We heard you have a floor to let here." The excited little Tarino pushed them into the hall and up the stairs. Mrs. Tarino followed with stately tread, 'turbaned head held high. And to be sure the Tarinos had a floor to let ! Bright, ne rooms, with a sunbeam that came in almost five minutes every clear day! "What is it these young people are saying, Eddie? asked the old lady. Deaf old lady! Convincing arguments and descriptions quite thrown away. But: "Yes. these rooms will do very well. We'll move right in." Then back to sweep down more houses. Busy Mixers chuckled and nudged each other - slyly.. Busy

TO RENT? 1 Tarinos chuckled and winked. To me A the agent with news of a rented floor would cerUinly make a favorable impression 'upon him. Houses all swept down! They would have to find something else to do. Over the iron railing with the Tarinos out into the barrels with the refuse there. And, oh, vile imitators that the Mixers were! they, too, cleared up the rubbish that had been accumulating for years. Then the Mixers cast their eyes heavenward and failed to understand how human nature could fall so low for tlcy found door-knobs to polish. They shuddered with disgust; the execrably imitative Tarinos were rubbing other doorknobs. A furniture cart stopped in front of Number 580. Then the Mixers ran to a back yard, hoping that the Tarinos would follow and know nothing about the rented floor; and through the next hall the Tarinos were falling over each other to lure the Mixers after them. . And not only one furniture cart, but two furniture carts had unloaded at lumber 580. Then came tire bull -dog woman following her furniture, finding it piled along the east wall of the thirdfloor rooms. Old lady and her son came up the stairs: their furniture in a line along the west wail. "Who are you, and what do you want here?" from the bull-dog woman. She glowered as much as she could with her flat, coarse, pink-and-white face. "You're Eddie 0"Rourke, and I've seen you lounging on the corners with a lot of loafers since 3011 were knee-high but what are voti joiner in ttw rooms?" "And T know you. Mrs. Plr-ik!" he said. "And your husband, who has the fal'in? sickness, and yo'j not never letting him go to the hospital, where he'd "get

better treatment than you neglecting him at home. .We're tlni tenants here!" The old lauy, her hands folded on the little black bag. one car tamed to the speakers, tried to understand. Jawn stood by a window, picking out strips of putty. .- "You're the tenants here? Then it's yourself says you are! 'tis any self is the proprietor here!" "What is she saying, llddic?" from Mrs. O'Rourke, taking off her hat But Kddic O'Kourkc ran down the stairs to find the people that had rented him the rooms. And Mrs. riar.k ran down to find the people w ho had rented her the rooms Both returned after having rapped vamlv upon doors "Why, whats the trouble, Eddie? from old Mrs. O'Kourkc. "Ah, Uon t be bothering with her. mother." young fellow shouting cloc to the old lady s ear. "It's some mistake she's made, and she'll move right out as soon as she gets other rooms." Kind, motherly smile. And. "I'm sure the lady is welcome to stay until she gets another pluce. Then we'll not put the house to order, Lddie, till we have it to ourselves." Bull-dog mouth and eyes and remarkable nostrils wide open; sluggish brain trying hard to comprehend. And then : - "Till you have it to yourselves? Till I have it to myself, me and Jawn, you mean!' " "You'll get out of our rooms or III put you out!" from angry Eddie O'Rourke. "Is that so? You will?" Bull-dog woman was yelping with laughter. "I-:ddie O'Rourke, who all the neighbors knows what he is, and was pinched last summer! "Sure, everybody knows what Eddie O'Rourke il He stole the plumbing out of the new flats around tha corner, and was pinched last summer." "What is she saying, Eddie?" asked old lady, pausing in her sewing. Eddie O'Rourke paced to the window, back, to the window again, as if he would implore the woman to cease, but felt that nothing but giving up the rooms be was determined not to give up, would appease her. He stammered: "She's telling some folks across the way about rna saving lives down to the pier last summer." Terrific smort of disgust from Mrs. Plank. "Why, Eddie, you never told me that!" said ta astonished old lady, .dropping her sewing. . Eddie O'Rourke set to work to put the stove in place, nervously bungling with the stove pipe and clattering stove covers to drown further disclosures. 1 hen an oath from the "very nice woman." An oath bellowed w ith : "Eddie O'Rourke's a corner loafer, and I teen the cop club the two knees from under him!" "Yes, Eddie, I must make a cup of tea for her Sh must be a good woman to speak so nice of you."

oiovr put up. t.up 01 tea made. "Wlnr, what is she iving now, Eddie? savi The distressed Eddie O'Rourke. still clattering a cover, stammered: "Why, slie seems to be telling things ebout tor mother. You make out my nsme mentioned, don't you ? 4 "And what things, Eddie?" "Well.it ain't modest like for me to tell them, mother. Just abouV-how good I was to a poor family once. mother." "Ah. sere, you always was good, Eddie 1 YoS give away the shirt off of your back if I wasn't nigh to hold you back in your generosity." Old lady was beaming upon the bellowing "horse," and fussing with a cup of tea. Sire turned to the window "Ah. my dear, now wont you have a little cup of tea before you go out searching for rooms for yourself? 'Tis so exhausting searching for rooms. Here's a cup of strong tea to put . heart into you for it." The "horse" glared in slow, stolid savagery. "Then you're not caring for a cup of tea, my dear?" said the old lady, going to a trunk and opening it. Fussing through it. Drawing out a scarf and returning to the window. "My dear, put this on your head whils you're waiting, and you're welcome to wait to yoor own convenience; but, at this time of year, to catch cold is so easy." "Ah, sure, but you're the kind old creatnre!" suddenly exclaimed the "horse." "Oh, Eddie O'Rourke. how can you be the bad boy you are, with the good old mother you have?" And an appealing whisper from the youth, huddled up to the window-sill: - - "Oh, now, Mrs. Plank, don't go telling these things on me! Honest, it's all because I was in with a gang I'm through with forever. Honest to Gawd! I've shook the gang and got no more to do with it. I'll hustle for some othref rooms for ourselves, if you'll only promise not to go telling on me while I'm gone." y"Oh, Eddie O'Rourke," from the emotional "horse," "how can 3-ou be the bad boy j'ou are but then, close to an aged ear, "Sure, ma'am, you hare indeed the lad to be proud of!" 'Hc was always a good boy P proud and happy old lady. "And, Eddie, perhaps, while we hare a cup of tea, anyway, you'll go down and put in an ad for lodg- . ers ?" "For lodgers?" from the "horse," snorting, and gasping and, altogether, making a fearful time of it. "Then, sure, why can't the lot of us take the rooms together, and the two of us pay halve, and the lot of us dwell in peace and happiness?" "What is. she saying, Eddie? My dear, excuse me, but. sometimes, I don't quite catch exactly every word spoken." . ' "There's room for all of us, and the floor's too big for one family, and we'll half up on it and share the kitchen." said grateful Eddie O'Rourke. "Yes, the rent is too much for one to pay," agreed his mother "And, sure, I'd not be feeling we was at all with strangers, as j-ou know my son so well, ma'am." Down in the street again! Bantry stands on the stoop, looking worried. The Tarinos come up the street. . Mixers following them, watching them warily, almost exhausted Mixers, but vigilant Mixers, who would not let thoroughly exhausted Tarinos out of their sight for one moment. "Good evening !" said Bantrr, "but I don't know what Mr Thames will say about this ! You've gone and each of you rented that floor, and there's been the deuc to pay between the different parties." . .Tarinos and Mixers looked at one another, too tired for comments. They leaned on their brooms languidly. "He'll hold me responsible," from worried Bantry, "if them parties don't come to some agreement." "You?" asked the Mixer. The three others panted among them: "But you're discharged, ain't you?" "Me?" drawled Bantry. "Why, that's a queer idea! Oh, old Thames wouldn't bounce me in a thousand years, but he did insult me. 'Bantry,' he says, last night. Til be out of town to-morrow, and, when 1 come back; "BUT YOU'RE DISCHARGED, AIN'T YOU? I want to see them houses in some sort of condition. Mrs. Tarino sat down limply. Tarino dropped his broom and was too weak to pick it up. The Mixers had no strength to express their indignation. Janitor Bantry surveyed t!3 transformed Row critically. "Why. no!" he decided: "I can't see as it needs very much goinjr over." StofceSo.

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