Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 31, Number 319, 16 December 1906 — Page 6

age Six.

The Richmond Palladium. Sunday, December 16, 1906.?

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CILLILAN EATS CHECKS; NEW STORY ON HUMORIST Old Time Habit of "Strick," Acquired While He Was Aboard the Palladium, Gets Him Additional Notoriety, Which He Probably Relishes as fully as He Does theaper He Devours.

TVfcen Strick W. Gillilan was "aboard" the staff of the Palladium e acquired the "paper eating habit" and it has gained him additional fame since becoming known to the literary world. The "Index," a pai per published at Evanston, 111., contained the following: "Mr. Strickland W. Gillilan is one of later additions to the large number of men who aro daily making ! Evanston famous by their writings. In addition to a column in the Chicago Daily News his humor finds expression frequently through the columns of Judge, he being one of the sta men of that periodical, and incidentally he is gathering in many shekels by fun-making on the lecture platform. Likewise he is president of the National Press Humorists' association, but to that position no salary is attached. In his lecturing, like other noted men, he has to go to snch places as an allwise lecture bureau may send him, and it keeps him traveling from the wilds of Dakotajo the marshes of New Jersey and back again, but he says he likes to travel. Also, like other noted men, he has some personal habits which occasionally bring him to the verge of trouble. One of these is the old newspaper habit of snatching the nearest piece of paper when he is thinking great thoughts and preparing to unload them on the public and putting that piece of paper in his mouth to chew it desperately until, when the thought comes, the paper is but a sodden wad fit to throw at school boys. Tries New Thought. Then he throws it and goes to work on another thought. It was some-lit-tle place on the map of New Jersey that he was doing his thinking in. A check from Judge had come that day, and when he had thought sufficiently he searched for the check, but it was nowhere to be found. Then he went through the usual performances of a man who has lost money, and when he had finished a great light struck him. Could he have chewed up that check? He could and he had. He found it in jone corner of 'the room ,and -managed, with much labor, to get enough of it together to pretty well establish its identity and mailed it to the managing editor of Judge, together with a pathetic little note reciting the pitiful . circumstance. This was the answer he received :. Mr. S. W. Gillilan, No. 1512 Chicago Ave., Evanston, 111. My Dear Gillilan: Herewith please find check for the champion paper chewer and greediest check eater that has ever been my good or bad fortune to know. Upon my word, you are a . surprise to me. I have looked at you and speculated about you, and sized you up and felt that I had reached the total Df what you come to. But I find that X missed entirely one of the most Interesting things 'about you. When I add this to the sum total of you as I had reckoned you. before, I find that It more than doubles you. I am really proud to know that I know the only man In the United States that goes about the streets chewing checks. I am so full of the subject that I am going well, never mind what I am going to do. You just buy a. copy of Judge of the date of December 8 and you will see all about it. Towne. And here is what Mr. Towne writes In this week's Judge about the check chewing Incident, in a 'column of his Dwn called "Answers to Correspondents:" Dear Judge: I am to read a paper on the peculiartles of great authors before our Ladies' Study club, and I don't know one peculiarity of a single author, living or dead. Can't you help me? . Sarah. Yes, we can help you, as far as a moment of leisure will suffice to re (I'M r li) o

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call peculiarities of authors we have met. Here is one about a real, live author of the younger set that you may use. Mr. Strickland W. Gillilan, poet, wit, lecturer, from his youth up has been a paper-chewer. You have known men who had the habit of nibbling paper. Gillilan does not nibble; he bites it off in large pieces. A twelve-section Sunday paper is a table-d'hote, and a library readingroom to him is a sixteen course banquet. This habit led "Gilly" as his friends know him, into the newspa per business. His people wanted him to be a blacksmith, he was such a husky lad; but he had once got a look at the pile of exchanges in a country editor's sanctum, and nothing could dissuade him from his purpose to take up journalism. And he took it up.. But that awful hunger for paper was against him. He couldn't keep a job anywhere. An Indiana country paper tried him, but

by the time he worked the edition oft he had also consumed it, and the editor saw his business being slowly devoured. Then the Los Angeles Herald took him on. But the exchanges were few, and well, the Herald owners, considered " that one set of the Britannica was as great a sacrifice as they could make at thi3 time, and Gillilan went to Baltimore, lie got along better there, a"nd stayed three or four years. Baltimore has regular wholesale paper houses, you know, and market fluctuations can be controlled. But at last Gillilan quit and went on the lecture platform, and began writing for Judge and some of the magazines on the side. Opulence came with the change, and Gillilan began to get checks instead of a paltry newspaper salary. Only a week ago Judge sent him a dollar, all in one check. And thereby hangs this tale. You see, with changed circumstances, Increase of fortune, and the exchange pile no longer accessible, Gillilan took to eating checks! We venture to say the man of the hour is venture to say he is the only author living out of captivity who thus disposes of . these things. Some writers frame their checks and hang them on their study-wails; some carry them for : days to show to their friends as precious trophies; but Gillilan eats them eats them before they are ca'shed. He simply can't wait. Now, some several editors will understand why the author of "Finnegin," when acknowledging receipt of remittances, always writes, "Your check certainly did look good to me." After the check is thoroughly chewed and all the juice got out of it, Gillilan deftly smoothes it out, Irons it, and mails it back to the publisher with the request to send a duplicate check; fof, peculiarly enough, he will not eat duplicate paper. He says he never chews the same dollar twice. Trusting this may be useful to you, Sarah, we remain, etc. DEADLY SERPENT BITES. are as common in India as are stomach and liver disorders with us. For the latter however there is a sure remedy: Electric Bitters; the great restorative medicine, of which S A. Brown, of Bennettsville, S. S., says: "They restored my w'fe to perfect health, after years of suffering with dyspepsia and a chronically torpid liver." Electric Bitters cure chills and fever, malaria, biliousness, lame back, kidney troubles and bladder disorders, old on guarantee by A. G. Luken &Co. druggist. Price 50c. Itching, Torturing skin eruptions. disfigure, nnoy, drive one wild. Doan's Oinnpent brings guick relief and lasting cures. Fifty cents at any drug1 store, Artificial 'tesAthe 20th Century fuel. 10-tf Everybody's friend Dr. Thomas' Electric Oil. Cures toothache, earache, sore throat. Heals cuts, bruises, scalds. Stops any pain.

V

Scene from Murray and Mack at the Gennett next Thursday night. -

AT THE THEATERS

Aronud the Town--Gennett. . Pretty girls, ; lively comedy, comi plete scenic investiture, and musical numbers galore is what those startling comedians, - Murray and Mack promise 1 us in their new piece, "Around the Town," which will appear here next Thursday night at the Gennett. Of course, there is not much that is new that can be said of Murray, and Mack themselves, as they have been amongst us so many times that almost every man, woman and child who knows anything about the theatre at all is familiar with Mack's little fat man and Murray's tall thin impersonation. They come this season well endorsed by the newspaper critics everywhere they have appeared, and unless all signs fail, this will be the record - breaker of Murray and Mack, not only in financial returns but merit of performance. They will introduce many novelties this season; in fact, about the only old thing they will spring will be their famous boxing match, which has laid dormant for a couple of seasons. Many local managers and dramatic critics in the past two years have, asked' why this extremely funny piece of business has been cut out, so they concluded this year to brush off the moth balls from their boxing gloves and again put "back this Extremely funny stunt. The company this season numbers thirtyfive people all of which are promised adepts in their line of work. The cast includes the Dainty Soubrette Miss Gladys Van, Miss Mable Blake, Miss Josie Williams, the Trecaderre Quartette who made such a hit last season with the same organization, Walter S. Brower, the celebrated Pony Ballet, and a large male and female chorus. The Man From the West Gennett. Crandall & Mitchell's beautiful scenic production of "The Man From the West", which comes so highiy recommended to the Gennett next Saturday matinee and night is one of the most beautiful stories of, the West that was ever produced on any stage. Mr. Crandall has surrounded Mr. Mitchell with a cast of superior excellence and merit, and has proven to the public that it is one of the most essential qualities to make a success in this line of business, and that he has done so can be readily seen by paying this meritorious production a visit. The story, which is one of heart interest, deals with a struggle of the youug man from the West, who has struggled for years to liquidate the debt left by his father to an old friend of the family, Wm. Munroe. He has just paid his last dollar to his father's friend, and has gone to visit him. lie 'nds him in the clutches of an unscrupulous villian, who is trying to inveigle the old man to purchase a worthless mine, but the arrival of The Man From the West spoils his plans. Germsn Elections In January. Berlin, Dec. 15. It was officially announced that 'the elections to the reichstag will occur Jan. 25. TO THrPOINT Frank Clattoh, 2$, baker, suicided at Alliance, O., after quarrel 1 with sweetheart. Enrique C. Creel, governor of Chihuahua, appftjnted Mexican ambassador at Washington. Failures in United States during the week 220, same week, last year 225; in Canada 31, last year 33. R. M. G. Brown. United States navy, retired, survivor of hurricane disaster at Samoa in 1889, died in Washington. A. L. AthertOn, 63, Confederate veteran, a&d his gf ajwJssn, Estill Ather ton, 14, Killed ati'aaijroad crossing at Owenfeborority-; ExpIo31oti'Cf i&tfp pounds of powder on threejmies cars at Eckman, W. Va.. killed Vijoe Steele, fatally Injured two and liurtsjBven others. Mrs. Angle Birdson sentenced to five years in penitentiary for killing Dr. Thomas Brown at Monticello, Miss. .Released. on $10,000 ball pending appeal. See how what you have nsard looks in print and get a dollar for doing it Win the news "tip" prize.

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SCARES GUESTS Tells Banqueters of the Horrors of the Foods That Are Served. TESTS OF FOOD LAWS WILEY THINKS THE STATUTE NOW ON BOOKS WILL NOT BE AFFECTED BY ANY OPPOSITION. Publishers' Press. Chicago, Dec. 15. Dr. Harvey W. Wiley, chief of the federal bureau of, chemistry and head of the famous "poison squad," sat at the banquet table of the Auditorium last night and glanced about apprehensively when Health Commissioner Charles J. Whalen declared that despite the ef forts of his department there was still grounds for belief that all food presented as "pure," did not deserve that adjective. When Dr. Whalen began to describe the different ruses adopted by the merchants of Chicago and to name the coloring matter and other deleterious substances put into food Dr. Wiley glanced at his plate in alarm and, as he said later, began to think he was being subjected to a test like that giv en his squad. But when told that the Atlas club, whose guest he was, had made special preparations for a "pure food" evening and that everything on the banquet board would pass muster before any chemist the man, who has charge of the experiment which brought about the pure food law looked relieved. Dr. Wiley, Dr. Whalen, Dr. Thomas J. Bryan, state analyst for the state food commission, and Paul Pierce were the speakers of the evening and addressed 300 members of the club. Chicago Food Not Perfect. All the speakers took the new pure food law for their topic, Drs. Whalen and Bryan discussing its operation in Chicago and Illinois, Mr. Pierce tell ing of its effect upon the advertising business, while Dr. Wiley contented himself with a short review of the efforts made to secure its enactment and then ending with several witty allusions to the advertising business, in which all the members of the club, are interested. That although Chicago has made great strides toward bettering its food conditions, it is still far from perfect in this respect was the statement ol Dr. Whalen, who enumerated the different frauds his inspectors had unearthed. "No city is doing more as regards the examination of its products than Chicago," he said, "but still there is much to be complained of and eradi cated before we can say that everything we eat is just what it is pur ported to be. My inspectors find that 75 per cent of the smoked fish offeree for sale in the city has never been smoked at all, but has been dipped in dyes, the dissecated eggs are still with us, the deadly coloring in food- f stuffs is to be found here and there There are still men who use acid? when they make sausage. "In place of real butter you have 'process butter. You find chicory for coffee, lard made out of cotton oil and 80 per cent of the soda water ot the city is colored with injurious artl ficial matter." v Blames Consumers. "I blame the consumers for this con dition of affairs," he continued, "be cause they have insisted upon cheapet products. In all our work we have found that the adulterated milk wa;more harmful to the people general ly than the other abuses, but the' de partment has practically stamped this evil out." Dr. Whalen then advocated the pas sage of the cold storage 'ordinance, which is till pendiing before the council, as a means to the final end of doing away with all prfre food abuses in the city. v. " 4 . -

Manager. Murray Will Not Compete With the Holiday Rush the Present Week.

In order to allow for the rush of the holiday season, Manager Murray will keep the New Phillips dark this week and at the same time will afford a much needed rest to all the employes of the house. On Monday, December 24, vaudeville will be renewed with a strong bill. Many ills come from Impure blood. Can't have pure blood with faulty digestion, lazy liver and sluggish bowels. Burdock Blood Bitters strengthens stomach, bowels and liver, and purifies the blood. TEACHERS ARE READY AN ATTRACTIVE PROGRAM Many Richmond and Wayne County Pedagogues Will Go to State Meeting at Indianapolis, To Be Held Christmas Week. Preliminary announcements of the coming holdiay meeting of the State Teachers' association have been re ceived in Richmond. The program as outlined, will be one of unusual in terest and there is a prospect that many of the Richmond teachers will attend. The sessions will begin Dec. 27, and will close on Dec. 29. The headquarters will be the Claypool hotel. Dr. Henry Van Dyke, the famous author and lecturer, will' be the leading attraction of- the program. Miss Jane Adams of Hull House," Chicago, will be another speaker that will draw as much attention as Dr. Van Dyke. Carroll D. Wright, possibly the greatest authority in the United States on the labor problem, will speak, as will Miss Julia Richman assistant superintendent of school in New York City, who is doing such a wonderful work among the poor ol the metropolis. Not the least attractive feature of the meeting will be the report of the educational commission, appointed by Gov. Hanly, on teachers' wages and the general school situation in Indiana. Any teacher that it not at tracted by this array of good things certainly has not very much interest in the field of education. ly takes dth - vPert

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FOR LADIEH AND CHILDREN. V, 9 SouCi Sovonth St. PROGRAM FOR THURSDAY, FRIDAY AND SATURDAY, DEC(MD&R 13, 14 and 15 LIFE OF A CONVJT llySlBERIA. THE IMPERIAL GUARDSUJEAVING T0KIA. Illustrated Song by ss Ada Lang "Those Sontni f my Mother Used to Sing' words and music by B.I I Wakefield Smith. i

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