Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 31, Number 213, 30 August 1906 — Page 3

me Kicnmona palladium, Thursday, August 30,1905.

Page Three.

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ENNETT IRA SWISHER, Friday Night, Aug. XI, Present the Real ion

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GENNETT THEATRE WEEK AUGUST 27th. Special Engagement. THE GREAT WESTERN VAUDEVILLE COMPANY. PROF GUS FREDERICK. Overture. . . . THE FOUR ANDERSONS. In their own original Comedy Sketches, Featuring the Marvelous Anderson Children. Possessing the finish of grown' performers, introduc ing singing and dancing. DE COE. The Man with Chairs. THE RANDALLS. and Novelty Shooting MME. LOUISA SCH Prima Donna Sopr DOYLE GRANGER. Comedy, Singing and Sketch., Dancing Billy HALL & COL BORN Jennie. In the novelty Swedish Dialect Playlet, " Olson the Coal Man." THE NEW PHILLIPS VAUDEVILLE THEATER O. G .M'JRRAY MANAGER. WEEK OF AUGUST 27TH DAILY at 3 and 8:15 P. IVk. A Miss Grayce Miller, Overture. 6 VERNON & VERNON "Roman Rings. C SAMUEL, Character Imp D STANLEY & Singing andd E CLAYTON H Illustrated So F -HARRY TURKEY BOYD, Monologist. G FISHER AND JOHNSON. Novelty Act. H THE PHILOSCOPE. "Evil Day." "Madam Wears the Breeches. "Escaped from the Cage." J If you are tired, wear sick and cannot eat you ngfd a tonic. Try Beef Ironfcnd Wine 50c Per Bottle M. J. Quirjieyrrn t I t PC DR. HAMIL NORTH TENTirSTREET

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AT THE THEATERS Vaudeville at the Phillips. When one considers all that is being given at the New Phillips this week for ten cents it is not surprising that the patronage is of the most liberal nature and it is surprising to those who are not "next" to the theatrical business how it is possible to keep a first rate bill running week after week at such admission. There is no denying that it often looks as though too much is being given for the money but Manager Muray prefers this to the idea that' he is trying get as much as possible for as little as little as possible. This the bill embraces work on the Roman rings, character impersonations and imitation, singing and dancing, illustrated songs, blackface monologue, a bicycle novelty act and the motion pictures. Friday night the amateurs will have an opportunity to show what talent they have. Vaudeville at the Gennett. Two shows for the price of one. This tells the story of what is to be given at the Gennett on Friday night when Manager Swisher will include the vaudeville acts now running at his house in the production of "Dora Thorne," which is put on at low pri ces. There will be no extra charge over what is charged by the Dora Thorne company to its production alone, fifty, thirty-five, twenty-five and fifteen cents to see the entire vaudeville program added, two numbers to be given before the show proper opens and the other numbers be tween acts. This is donebv .Manager Swisher as an evidence that he appreciates the liberal patronage that Is being accorded him and that he Is inclined to give the public the best deal that is possible for him to do. The vaudeville bill runs all week and Is given entire satisfaction. "DORA THORNE" Gennett. Rowand & Clifford's production of "Dora Thorne" Lem B. Parker's dramatization of Bertha M. Clay's famous novel, is a love story pure and simple, and, at the same time, amusing and interesting. It teaches a Wholesome lesson; it leaves no bad impression, but rather an adiding pleasure that benefits an dinsnires and rests those who see and hear it The Rowland Cliffard company is presenting the onlj" authorized and genuine version of this beautiful play and the performance has been highly praised everywhere. Miss Sadie Marion is the "Dora" with this attraction and her work is highly spoken of everywhere. At the Gennett Friday night. DENTIST I OHATTAXOOtiA, TENX. Sept. 16, 17. 1? Regimental Reunion. Oct 15, 1. 17 Society Army ot Cumberland. COLORADO SPRINGS sept, is, i, 20 Pike's Teak Centen nial. Baptist Convention LOS AXGELES Southwest South Ticket Agent Richmond, Ind.

of so Brown Crushed by Well Merited Criticism '' OU young scoundrel!" exclaimed th-i unwilling father-in-law, Mr. Brown, when the eloping couple presented themselves for parental forgiveness and a place to live. "You conscienceless scamp! You stole my daughter' away and disregarded all the conventionalities of society. And yet you ask forgiveness!" "You old scoundrel! What did you do?" retorted the new son-in-law. "What did you do? You let us elope and did nat pursue us on horseback with a shotgun. You have shattered ill the traditions of elopements and uave blasted all the romance of the affair for us. We might as well have got married to the rumty-tum-tum of the church organ and let you pay the bill. Y'ou haven't a spark of appreciation In j-our makeup!" Crushed by the merited criticism" the father-in-law invited them in to supper, for they were rather hungry. Baltimore American. A Parisian Happening;. ' Yvette Gilbert, the noted French actress, at a dinner in New York had been complimented rather awkwardly. "Your intention was not bad," said the actress, good humoredly, In her quaint English. "But you were awkward; I will admit that. "So awkward you were that I am reminded of a happening, a Parisian happening. Listen; this is it: "A Parisian gave a dinner. All the world was there. Jewels glittered on white throats. Orders and ribbons crossed white shirt bosoms in a word, elegance complete. "And after dinner, when the ladies had gone upstairs, the men, over their coffee and cigars and liquors, talked, as men will, of love. "And all of a sudden the host cries In a loud voice: " 'I will tell you, gentlemen, this is the truth: I have kissed the dainty Japanese girl, I have kissed the south sea island maiden, I have kissed tle slim Indian beauty, and the girls of England, of Germany, even of America, I have kissed, but it is most true that to kiss my wife is best of all.' "Then a youag man cries across the table: " 'By heaven, sir, you are right there!' "New York Tribune. Perfectly Fearless. Madam (engaging new maid) Very well, we will pay you $12 and, by the way, are you superstitious? Maid Not at all. madam. Why, I wouldn't be afraid to accept $13! Xot Mentioned. "You haven't mentioned in your prospectus any of the difficulties that this Invention may encounter." "Certainly not," answered the promoter. "It is my business to exploit its advantages. Its difficulties will be discovered by the Investors." Washington Star. Xot tn Ornament, TbonghC The nervous young man backed into the nearest chair. The fair girl glareJ at him. "You're a bird," she cried sarcastically. "Why er what?" he gasped. "You're on my hat!" she fairly shrieked. Minneapolis Journal. Xot Muoli Tliere. "Yes." said Mrs. Starven, "he's a millionaire now and they say he rose from practically nothing." Y"es," remarked the sarcastic boarder, "that's what I rose from at the breakfast table this morning." Phila delphia Press. Sileneea "John." began Mrs. Stubb after supper, "what in the world is that you have on?" "That, madam," replied Mr! Stubb impatiently, "is a jacket! I bought St to lounge cronnd the house in." "But. John, it dossn't set right. It isn't straight." "Isn't straight, eh? Well, madam, do you expect to sea your husband wearing a strcitjaeket in his ow home?" Housioa Part.

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HATCH SHOWS

TO BE SURPRISE Druf Carnival, the Week o oeptember 10, to Have Many Features. TRAINED WILD BEASTS NO OTHER CARNIVAL IN THIS RESPECT TOUCHES THE HATCH SHOWS PARADE ON OPENING NIGHT. With the J. Frank Hatch shows which comes to the carnival one week from next Monday, is one of the best animal trainers in the bus! ness, having served with the best masters in Europe and America He has under him at the present time 30 animals, all of which save two he has trained from the very start, hav ing taken them when they were "green" shortly after their arrival in this country, and ever since the close of last season he has worked with them daily until they now are In real ly a high state of proficiency. The trainer has a hard nut to solve, however, as he has two Nubian lions with which other trainers have been unable to accomplish anything. One of them has already killed two men, but Mr. Hatch, hearing that they were for sale, and possessing them and made a handsome wager with the former owner that before the end of this season these animals would be perfectly tractable. He has prac tically won already. With the animal arena, also, is the only trained leopard in America. It has been taught to walk a cable, jump the rope, jump through a blaz ing circle, fire a cannon, and doing other tricks that have heretofore been believed impossible of that beast. Other Attractions. Another attraction offered on the midway of ijhe Hatch shows is the "Katzenjammer Castle," a show which was obtained after consider able time and expense from William A. Brady, manager of Brighton Beach. It was only through a flaw in their contract with Mr. Brady that the shows were able to gain their re lease to another corporation. This attraction is varitable "topsy-turvy" land and is replete with laugh producing stations and sights. The front of this show cost more than $4,000, being of gold and white. It is covered with a myraid of electric lights. Another attraction brought from Brighton $s "Mamie," the won derful illusion. This show repre sents an investment of more than $30,000. These valuations are said to he conservative estimates and characteristic of all tfie shows pre sented by Mr. Hatch this season. It can thus be seen that the sum total this aggregation of shows is far su perior to any that have visited Rich mond. The shows, will be here one week, being located on the ground just across from the Main street entarnce to Glen Miller. Parade a Feature. The mamoth parade on the openin night will be a great feature. The Richmond band will take part in ad dition to the carnival bands. Yesterday the Druids purchased a $850 automobile from the Wilke agency and this will be given absolutely free to some fortunate person, man or woman. The Artificial Life.' AS a little child he lay In an artificial crib. Took his artificial roll , In an artificial bib, Had an artificial mother And artificial aunts. And In tlftie they put him Into artificial knickerbockers. To an artificial school And an artificial college Went this artificial youth After artificial knowledge And he loved artificially An artificial maid With an artificial blush And an artificial braid. They are dwelling today In an artificial home, With an artificial porch f And an artificial dome And an artificial fireplace Tiled in artificial blue; The chairs are artificial. And th rugs are too. . They dine on many . An artificial dish ' On artificial broth And artificial fish And artificial fowl And artificial fillets. And they fisrht their dyspepsia - With artificial pillets. An end will come To the artificial life Of this artificial man And his artificial wife. An artificial tombstone Will rise above the sod. And the artificial daisies Will nod, nod, nod. Newark News. The Grfwiomf Mahratta. The grewsome mahratta wadkah, the weapon of the Hindoo assassin, is shaped like a tiger's claws and fastened to the fingers of the right hand by rings. With a treacherous embrace the murderer clasps his victim and tears hira open, leaving him mutilated in a condition that leads the discoverers of the body to believe a tiger or some other wild beast has clawed the man to death. Parrots and Rain. Parrots are good barometers. Just before a rain the most talkative and cabby parrot becomes silent.

O Bean the Signature ef

118 Kind Yoa Raw Hiwars Boitt

PLAYS AND PLAYERS.

lime. Bernhardt will spend the sum' mer at her cliateau on. the French coast. nar Trouville. D. L- Don has been engaged to sup port Montgomery and Stone next sea son in "The Red Mill." Thompson & Ducdy will next season present Edward Abeies in a dramatiza tion of "Brewster's Millions." "L'Alglon and "Hamlet" are Bernhardf s favorite male roles. She plays TAsglos" as a sort of toy "Hamlet." Richard Carle writes his own lyrics for his comic operas and proves himself to be a verse maker of much facility. Walter D. Nealand has been re-en gaged for next season by John P. Sloenm as manager of "The Yankee Con suL" Charles Frohman has obtained the American rights for a new version of "Brigadier Gerard," by Sir A. Conan Doyle. Charlotte Hunt, the charming leading lady of the Bowdoin Square theater, Boston, has been on the stage since she was four years of age. FACTS FROM FRANCE. Esperanto is to be taught to the ca dets at the French military college of St Cyr. In consequence of the increasing abuse of opium its sale In France har bor cities has been forbidden. " A boy of twelve In the custody of the Paris police told them that it is their business to find out his name and ad dress. The French people are the greatest consumers of cheap wine in the world. It is used more generally than milk in the United States. Even the little children drink it. The public schools give It to the pupils. The servants insist on the daily allowance for wine. Yellow spectacles for weak eyes were recommended by Dr. Motals in a paper he read before the Academy of Medicine at Paris. The doctor declares that yellow is very soothing to weak eyes and that for fifteen years he has prescribed glasses of this color with excellent results. COLLEGE AND SCHOOL. David Ranken, Jr., of Tarkls, Ma, will found an industrial school in St. Louis to be modeled after the Massa chusetts Institute of Technology and will be one of the finest industrial schools In the country. Professor A. W. Wright retires from active service as professor of experimental physics and director of the Sloane physical laboratory of Yale col lege at the close of the present academic year. He graduated from Yale in 1859. Professor Charles F. Johnson, who has for twenty-three years been professor of English at Trinity college, Hartford, has tendered his resignation, to take effect at the end of the year. He is the author of a number of books on the teaching of English. Professor W. R. Hart of Nebraska In a recent address took the ground that the study of agriculture in our public schools would afford the best possible material for mental discipline. He aid: "What knowledge the country child has Is certain and vivid. He has been dealing with, realities Instead of with symbols and abstractions." PERT PARAGRAPHS. Assuming responsibility without dis charging it Is the way some men figure as prominent citizens. So far as he is concerned all tho world can go to destruction if It wID leave the small boy his swimming hole and his fishing pond. Some men are always blowing people up while others are content with mere ly running them down. Inexperience is the only thing that can afford to make rash promises. - i Though a thing may not be worth all you put into it It easily Is worth all that you take out of it. Justice too often concerns itself with the question of who Is your lawyei and who youi banker. I fit. I "AO QUI I' I - . . Being disagreeable and polite at the lame time is a fine art. Bald headed men have to grin and bare it Many people are as sparing of truth as If it cost money. By a wise provision of nature big men are usually good humored. People who are worth knowing aren't chasing wildly around to make new friends. It is hard to keep some people happy and please yourself at the same time. i Inexperience may be awkward, but It Is apt to be modest Bombay In 1S03 Bombay was visited by a fire which destroyed buildings to the value If $3,000,000. The Indians regarded the Visitation as a mark of the anger of the god Siva the Destroyer, and peuitoctlal offerings were made while the fte was in progress to stay bis vengeful hand. Party from New Paris. New Paris, Aug. 29.(Spl.) A large number of Methodists went to Eaton today to attend the quarterly conven tion in session there. Thirty-five cent rates to Eaton and return were given today. Why wait for your friend's riend to come and took at your house week after next? You can sell it with a To Let ad in The Palladium.

The Proper Adjective.

Miss Mobile Welh Martha, how la your husband now ? Martha Po'l; :.:'ss, po'iy. He's got that exclamst3: y rheumatism. Miss Mobile You mean inflammatory rheumatism, Martha. Exciamatory is to cry out Martha (with solemn conviction) That's it, mum. that's it! He don't do uothin but holler. Christian Register. Explained. Jaggsby (2 a. m.) I shay, offisher, is thish (hie) Blank street? Policeman Yes. Jaggsby Wish you'd (hie) d'rect me f 411. Goin t' (hie) 'tend lecture there. Foliceman What! Attend a lecture at this hour of the morning? Jaggsby Yesh; thash's where I (hie) live, an I'm married. Shee? Chicago News. Aceoanted For. "It's strange," said the piano teacher, "that you can't learn to run the scales correctly." "That is probably one of the traits I inherited from father,"' replied tho young lady pupil. "He made his money in the grocery business, you know." New Orleans Times-Democrat. A Little Bitter. "I noticed Miss Giglets at the service today, and it struck me as very strange that 6he never once said 'AmenT " "No. She's such a man hater that she won't mention the men in any way." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Ortalnl j-. "Which side do you wish your hair combed on?" asked the barber, who appeared to be trying to make a hole In the customer's head with his comb. "On the outside, please." Y'onkers Statesman. The Retort Vegetarian. a I. A Bill Cuffles Why, yer look as thougl; yer could eat me. Joe Sprouls Not "atf! The day I 'as ter eat yer I turns vogetarian. London Paper. Hln Experience. She Why do you think their affaU isn't platonic f He Well. I never met a platonic wid ow. Puck. THE HALL OF FAME. The queen of Italy is noted for net .tcts of kindness to her poor subjects. At Portland, Me., Franklin II. Reeve was ordained and married at the same service. The dowager empress of Russia i extremely fond of the Danish black or rye bread, such as Is baked for the soldiers. , , Achille J. Oishel, a New York lawyer, who was born in Italy and was formerly the Marquis de Sauvia, says he would "rather be an American citizen than any sort of marquis." At the Harvard commencement the oldest graduate In attendance was Rer. Robert n. Harlow of Quincy, Mass.. who Is In his ninetieth year and who graduated sixty-five years ago. S. M. Watson of BIddeford, Me., was kicked by a horse recently. This fact Is noteworthy because It is the first accident of the kind Mr. Watson has had in all his twenty years' experience as a horseshoer. Walter Graham Blackie of Blackle & Sons, the Scottish publishers, died the other day at the age of ninety-one. Besides Latin and Greek, he read German, French, Italian, Spanish, Danish. Norse and Dutch. Charles Santley, the famous baritone, who is still 6inging at the age of seventy-two, Is probably the greatest linguist In the concert world, speaking flueatlys French, German. Italian and Spanish, and has a wide knowledge of Greek and Latin. The young sultan of Johore possesse.; one great peculiarity. Many years ago an accident with a horse resulted in nearly ail his teeth being knocked out. These have been replaced by teeth of solid gold, in each of which a largediamond has been inserted. John Ward, the Labor member for Stoke-on-Trent, Is one of the most pic turesque figures In the houe of con? mons. lie is six feet high, with a pow erful physique gained from his early work in the navy. He holds the Egyp tian star and the medal for tte SuaklnBerber expedition of 1SS-L Arthur J. Balfour, in spite of the dls asters which happened to his party a', the general elections, is still at tht head of the largest and possibly the best political body in tte world. A? grand master of The Priraros" leagt:: Mr. Balfour is vlrtcsllr the leader of LT22.825 member wbo have now X)-, enrolled. . t KLIBLL

16 and 17 Colonial Building. 'Phone 1634.

Prices Reasonable and

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minuiiciurir ana uiir in t Parlor Furniture, Mattresse 3 and ZWNINGS. lounges.

Coaches, Easy Chairs, Etc VKepair work a specialty.

Often The Kidneys Are Weakened by Oier-Wert Unhealthy Kidneys Make Impure Blood It used to be considered that only urinary and bladder troubles were to bi cr traced to the kidney a,

JCbJk but now modem science proves that nearly all disease have their beginning in the disorder ot these most important organs. The kidneys filter and purify the bloodthat is their work. Therefore, when your kidneys are weak cr out of order, you can understand how quickly your entire body is affected and how every organ seems to fail to do its duv. If vou are sick or " feel badly," begin taking the great kidney remedy. Dr. Kilmer's Swamp-Root, because as soon as vour kidnevs are well they will help all the other organs to health. A trial will co"nnce anyone. If you are sick you can make no mistake bv first doctoring your kidneys. The mild and the extraordinary effect of Dr. Kilmer's Swamp-Root, the great kidney remedy, is soon realized. It stands the highest for its wonderful cures of the most distressing cases, and is sold on its merits by all druggists in fifty-cent . and one-dollar size bottles. You may have a sample bottle Hon ct Swamp-Root. by mail tree, also a pamphlet telling yoa how to find out if you have kidney or bladder trouble. "Mention this paper when writing to Dr. Kilmer & Co., Einghamton, N. Y. Don't make any mistake, but remember the name, Swamp-Root, Dr. Kilmer's Swamp-Root, and the adTiirtrtiainton. N. Y..onr:verv bottle. fr fr "H1 'J1 rHeadquarters for fine per t t t t fumes. In addition to all the popular odors we have exclusive sale for Thelma, Dorot Vernon, Rose or 5naryn QUIGL lABYLOli Prescr Druggists. 415 N. 8 Open Phone 145 day Sunday. a a - T'J'TVTtTTTTTT $1.00 ROUND TRIP TO DAYTON Monday, Sept. 3. LABOR DAY VIA. I. C. & E. Traction Company, Formerly uayton & Western. ..Geo. r.i. ourn7. Western & Soerpzife Ins. Co. Rooms 33-31, Jlonlal Bldg. mourn woni ibs We earnestly solicit your patron ag -aTTTTTTTtTTT HARRY W70D f: 2 "'jr-Vv and ; f ELECTRCAV supplies X Heme Fhcby3. Bell 263 W2 53 t ARLINGTON 13 I First class class bar-1 bers, tinder sanitary condi-4 Ttjont. Yo 1 JEFF MEYERS, PROP.! I Plummer & llarj 9 South Sixth CARRIAT and t - l TRI PAINTINQ HING enlist Satisfaction Guarawteea. 16 S. 7th SL

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