Richmond Palladium (Daily), Volume 31, Number 130, 2 June 1906 — Page 4

Page 4.

The Richmond Palladium, Saturday, June 2, 1906.

THE RICHMOND PALLADIUM

Palladium Printing Co., Publisher. Masonic Building, North 9th and A Streets. Entered at -Richmond Postofflce as second class matter. Weekly Established 1831. Daily Established 1876. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. By Mall In Advance. Daily, one year .$3.00.. Dally, six months, 1.50 Dally, three months, ...... .75 Dally, one month, .............. .25 BV CARRIER, 7 CENTS A WEEK. Persons wishing to take the PALLADIUM by carrier may order by posla' or telephone either 'phone No. 21. When delivery is Irregulcr kindly make complaint. The PALLADIUM will be found et the following places: Palladium Office. Westcott Hotel. Arlington Hotel. Union News Company Depot. Gates' Cigar Store, West Main. The Empire CLgar Store. TWO CENT8 AT ALL PLACES OF SALE. SATURDAY, JUNE 2, 1906. THE DEATH OF J. W .RONEY. The announcement yesterday of the death of J. Will Roney was not surprising to his friends who were legion, but nevertheless It was a shock when It was fully realized that the last spark of life had actually gone out. There were few men In Richmond of wider acquaintance; there was none who was held In higher esteem by the entire community, hence his passing is the source of sincere regret on every side. Socially, Mr. Roney was a most agreeable and charmtag man. Full of animation, ho was always the life of any social gathering at which he was present. In business, he was courteous and honorable. In both social and business relations he was one of the few men who always made friends never enemies. The busy world will move on without him, but to many who will long for . the touch of a vanished hand And the sound of a voice : that is stilled," the world will never be quite the game without "Will" Roney. New York dispatches state that John D. Rockefeller and his family were very happy at leaving America for Europe. We don's blame them. These investigations are getting rather too warm for the comfort of billionaires. Those Russian anarchists might at least have been polite enough to wait until the wedding procession was over before attempting to blow up the Czar's representative to Alfonso. Washington dispatches state that the beef packers have as yet made no open move upon congress., Look out then, for they, are up to their old methods of dealing death blows In the dark. Governor Illggins, of New York tate, says there must bo no more jrlzo fighting in New York City. Maybe Governor Hlgglns will some day forbid the Standard Oil crowd of financiers to perpetrate anymore gas and other steals in the same city. The Rev. T. M. Kuhn will have no opposition In his race for congress, except from the nominees of the Socialists, Prohibition and Republican parties, together with such Democrats as can no longer stomach a candidate of tho Taggart "Monte Carlo" machine. DAJLTON. Palladium SpelaLJ Dalton, Ind., June 1. -The Quarterly Meeting at the Friends church Saturday and Sunday was well attended. Mrs. J. C. Taylor is on the sick list Emmlt Brunner of Harlonsbu., Ind. is spending a few days with his wife at this place. Fred Ileeson and family, John Smith and family took dinner with A. O. Peorlng and wife. L. F. Lamb of Economy spent Sunday at Losantville and attended the baptizing at that place. There were nineteen baptized. O. L. Dennis has been suffering with a bad sore throat. Prof. Lee of Earlham college gave a lecture at the Frlenda church Saturday night In connection with the Quarterly meeting. Ice Cream Festival. Tho Ladies Aid Society of the M. E. church at Chester will give an ice cream festival Saturday evening at the chJ"r.h fiall.

SHAKESPEARE DOWN TO DATE ..THE TAMING OF THE SHREW.. Fourth of the Series of Translations of the Bard of Avon's Historic Masterpieces.

N A risgn settlement called Pad w'atu I' you pronounce it right, and called almost anything if you don't, was the sumptuous H dump of a lieutenant of industry named Baptlsta. Half the time he carried his right arm in a sling by reason of acute cupon-cllp-pers paralysis. Among his other assets and liabilities wr two d7.l daughters, Katharlna and Bianca. Bl was all to the mayonnaise In the matter of disposition, as well a3 of looks, while Kate had n, dander that was a cross between a glass-eyed bronco, a package of cayenne pepper and a bottle of tabasco. She was easy to look at; but that's a good place to stop talking about her if you're not a knocker. If a day passed without her upbraiding her father and siater and abariding a few servants, great unoasluess was felt. She was tbi Ben Tillman of Italy. Because Bianca looked like a pleasant sugar coat to Baptlsta's money pill, a platoon or so of toll shunners camped on the younger girl's trail and wanted to marry her the . worst way, which means for her money. Among those present whenever the butler went to sweep off the front steps were Lucentlo, Gremlo and Hortenslo. Gremio was the only sere and yellow in the herd. The others were still anxiously reading the wild oats crop bulletin. But Baptlsta was very much reynard. Was he going to lose his little Bl. iid hnvfi. that, four-em-dash-and-two-exclamation-marks fly- up -the -creek left on his unprotected hands? Unanimously not. If he had to lose his joy, his sorrow went also. This was the proposition he sicked onto every calf-eyed hardupski that came drooling around about Bianca. It held verv one nt them for awhile. It was nice to have money, but hard cash came too hard, with bilious Kate pinned to It. Hortenslo beat It with the rest, and was sitting at home, wondering if he couldn't raise money any other way, - when his friend Patruchio. a dead-game sport from Verona, came carrying his trunk, and proudly announced that he and his man would be on the household roster for some time. Hortenslo was as glad to see him as people always are to see company when they are short, but managed to conceal his joy. Then in a confidential moment, he spilled the whole yarn to Pete. Now, Pete was the sort that are always hunting trouble, and when he got to looking over the verbal plans and specifications of Kate, as per her unenthuslastlc would-be brother-in-law, he began to sit up and take notice. He had become blawzay from fooling wlth-Jie cling variety peach, and the prospect of roping one that had nfiver bfen manhandled certainly made his mouth water. He had a nerve that no dentist could deaden, and that had lived through several years' experience in house-to-house canvassing for "The Royal Towpath of Life," in two volumes, bound in calf and sold on subscription only. "Horty, old boy," he said "cheer up. Twenty-three for your worry. From the way you have doped the oltt man's collateral cluster. It's enough to make it worth: a man's while to hitch with the harpy. I've been on the stock exchange myself, and the chances are I wouldn't hear her wildest tantrum, or, If I did, it would seem like a fur cap dropping down a deep well and lighting on a feather-bed. And if the worst came to ditto, I flatter me I can rise a little of Sherman's, definition of war myself. Take me to her." And Hortenslo did. They arrived at the million-ducat hovel of Baptlsta just after Kate had been amusing herself by tying her sister up with a bed cord and slapping her, and telling their expostulating papa where he got off at. So when Pete got to talking to the old man about that nice fe'lrl he came to collect, Baptlsta thought "a couple of tuts! Here's another one after Bi." Restraining an impulse to knock Pete's block off, he told him the mistake. MILTON. ' Palladium F&eclal.l Milton, June 1. Mrs. Christopher Kerber has returned from Indianapolis. Pearl Hassler of the Milton News was at Indianapolis Monday. Nelson Willits is still confined to his home. Geo. Bond was at Connersville over Sunday. Mrs. Sarah Ohmit Is at Elwood visiting relatives. The following were in attendance at the funeral of Elkanah Ball: Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Ball, Mr. and Mrs. John Ball, Mr. and Mrs. David Price, Lewisville, Mr. and Mrs. Calvin Wilson, Mr. and Mrs. John Sevier, Geo. Wilson," Indianapolis, Mrs. Emma Holloway, Shirley, Miss Cora Green Anderson, Ira Ball and Miss Nettie, Nebraska. Harry Coons and wife of Richmond are at J. F. Coons. Harry may have some good fish stories to re' ate when he returnes to Richmond. Misses Blanche Hale, Caroline Walker and Pearl Thornburg attended the May Festival Tuesday. Mrs. M. S. Barton and Miss Rachel Thomas leave Thursday for Rossville, Georgia, for a few weeks stay. It used to be said there are two great days in Miltons calendar. Miss Ina Leibhardt of Dayton, O., was ft Milton visitor Decoration day. TheT ladies of the Cemetery Association cleared nearly $30 at their festival at Kinsey's hall Thursday night. A good crowd was present and the evennig was pleasantly spent. And informal Drocraju at m.us civ.

(Copyright by Strickland W. Gillilan.)

"Guess again papa," said Pete, "It's that fifty-seven-variety sister of hers that I must add to my collection. The female go-devil for mine. You and my governor went to school together at Oberlin, so. you know that part of It I have enough wealth to have spoilt any common yourj man. At least that's the effect it has had on me. And now if you make the property consideration big enough I'll just annex this Canada thistle of yours and have her eating out of my hand in a week or two. Am I on?" "It's a bet," said Baptlsta, wondering where the catch was. Then he went ahead and gave a list of Standard Oil stock and town lots iri Hoboken that would go with the girl, also promising a double number of trading stamps. And Pete, who hadn't been In any sort of scrape that was really interesting for a long time, was tickled clean through, and told the old man to unleash the maneater. When Kate came In Pete called her by her front name, and announced their nuptials. This . removed the zephyrs from her tops'ls somewhat, but she had enough breath left for a poppery comback. Pete landed a short arm conversational counter to the short ribs, and Kate upper-cut, but fell short, owing to a quick sidestep. There was no Dotty Dialogue business about that at all. The worst she got, the better Pete seemed to be enjoying himself, and it had Kate groggy but game at the last of the first round. She was used to the kind of people that fell dead when she said "Boo," and she had enjoyed booming the undertaking business. But when she had a husky one In front of her who swallowed greedily and yelled "More" when she dealt her worst cards, it was different. She told her father, who crawled out from under the sofa about that time, that the friend he had brought was all to the bughouse, and that he ought to be taken back before his regular keeper got lonesome. Then Pete told Baptlsta and the rest of the gutta-perchas that butted in at that moment that they had had a very pleasant session, Indeed, and that she was dead in love with him already. "It's us to the altar next Sunday." Kate stated "Rats," and flounced away with her temper ruffled, while pa went and auctioned off Bianca to the highest bidder. The day of the wedding came, and everybody was ready. But no Pete. Everybody was perfectly dippy. Kate had a hemorrhage of talk that would have scorched an asbestos curtain. Turning on the tear-faucet she hiked for the hay, and old Baptlsta for once said, "Don't blame her a bit." And then came Pete. Oh, no; he wasn't the scarecrow, at all. Neither was his horse a cadaver. Huh.uh. That plug he was riding had cornered the blemish market and was holding for a rise. If there was any disease he didn't have he'd been exposed to it and had put it on the waiting list till he had room for it. He didn't have enough fat on him to lubricate the muzzle of a gimlet, and the buzzards simply sat on the fence and tightened their belts and waited. Pete himself looked as if he had taken a bath in a glue vat and rolled through a junk-shop. Everybody laughed but father, who was glad just the same. that the relief expedition had come any old way. They told Pete to hurry up and get dressed so he cou?I see Kate and go to church as the preacher was there and the crowd of rubbernecks outside was threatened with cervical paralysis. "Dress, nothin'!" said Pete. "This is my wedding outfit., It's me Kate's hitching to, not my togs." And the nervy bug meant it, too. I don't suppose anybody ever saw another trousseau like that, or a wedding, either, for that matter; for when the preacher asked her if she'd have him Pete butted In and said: 'You bet your life, old Gloomy Gus. What do you suppose she's here for? To buy a box of Invisible hair pins or a pair of dress shields? If you'll try to be Intelligent for a few minutes, I'll buy the headache powders afterward." Well, this scared the knot-tyer so bad he dropped his book, and when he stooped to pick it up Pete swatted Walter Templin is improving from an attack of pneumonia. Ray Doll and Frank Tout of East Germantown attended the Festival Thursday night. Mrs. Louisa Shlssler of Richmond was the guest of Mrs. Elijah Kuhns Decoration day. Mrs. John W. Judkins entertained the Cary Club at an elegant dinner at her home east of Milton Friday. E. L. Forsyth of Shortriage High school, Indianapolis was C. H. Callaway's guest Saturday. Mr. Forsyth will leave soon for a Summer in Europe, the first month of which will be spent in vicinity of Rome. He formerly taught in Milton high school. The ladles of the Christian church sent a box of clothing to San Jose, California for relief of the earthquake sufferers. Ben George formerly aejsident of Milton died Aprfl 26 at Oakland, Cal., of cancer of the lungs. Ed. Caldwell spent Sunday in Cincinnati. Will Swope has disposed of his harness shop at Cambridge City. C. E. Crawford of Indianapolis Star was in Milton Friday. Seers the Signature of T!ffl Hind Yon Hava Alwan Boighl SPECIAL, ONLY. With every box otxlplette De Parma Soap at 25c we wS gte one Flesh Brush retails atJ&c. Soto guaran teed.

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him one on the head that sent him down for the count. Pete tore around till the job was done satisfactorily, and called for a .highball then and there. When he had nearly finished it, he took the leavings and - threw them into the scraggly whiskers ot the janitor, who was standing there goggling at him, which shows how popular janitors were even in that day. Then Pete put his arms around Kate's neck, right there in church and kissed her, so it sounded like a cow pulling her feet out of a swAnp. Talk about a Newport monkey dinner that Pete boy had Harry Lehr looking like a piece of poundcake that had been rained on. And maybe the old gossips weren't dripping at the mouth! After they'd got home to Baptlsta's house, Pete said: "Well, folks, it's clever of you to see me through this way, and I want you to have a nice time at this wedding dinner. I can't stay myself. I make It a rule never to stay at my wedding dinner. Come on Kate; let's trek for home." "Nlt-ovitch for Katey," said the pleasant girl, recovering her breath, which she had misplaced during that all - klnds-of - a - wedding ceremony. "Take your old duds and hike. Skldoo for yours; but It's camping here with pa for mine. I know which side of my uneeda has the oleo on, and after these little pleasantries at the meeting house I have a full view of my finish if I go home with you. On your way. Beat it!" "After you, me maple dip. These other four-flushers may go and eat as you tell them or chase themselves violently and frequently around the block it's optional. You hit the trail with me; see? You're my mule team, my back-forty, my saw-mill, my insurance policy, my automobile, my yacht, my set of parlor furniture, my cabinet organ you're any old thing that's my property. I'll move you same as if you were a baby grand. Get me? Come on with your loving husband or I'll knock your block off.' She went. That's the way a woman loves to be managed. Going home, the knee-sprung horse, Kate was on, took a stumble for himself, sent Kate in a mud hole, and lay down on her to rest. It was a horse on Kate. Pete gave his servant a licking while Kate lay there and tried to remember the stitch of a chair tidy she had been crochetting last week. Finally, she got up, coaxed Pete to quit whipping the boy, while he cussed her out, and the horses raaway. He gave all the servants what-for when he got home, and everything that was brought to the table he sent back and raised Cain over. Of course Kate wasn't hungry, after all that trip without any wedding dinner, and anything looked good to her. Bt not one bit did she get, any more than if she had been at the third table at a boarding-house, till she could have eaten a 25-cent tobble dote meal and

almost digested It. Between meal times Pete lectured her on how to be good and gentle, till the neighbors twelve blocks away thought a university extension course had been started in the town. When the tailop brought In dresses and things that had been ordered for Kate, Pete said the things looked as if they had Veen cut out with a dull ax by moonlight, and sent them back. Kate didn't have any more chance to beef than a man has to talk at a pink tea, and she was getting pretty sick of ragchewing. Probably between pains in her otherwise empty stomach, and her tiredness of hearing a constant rumpus, she had a few little hunches that maybe she hadn't been any human sunbeaiW herself. More than likely. For within three days she'd agree with her husband, no matter what he said, and was about the most brldaywise girl ever. When he was fully convinced that she was all to the meek and lowly and would stay broke, Pete gathered her up and took her back home, where they had a bully good time, and Kate began making herself more unpopular than ever by prating around to other women about their duties to their husbands. Moral A reformed nuisance is only a different kind of nuisance. Take Hood's Sarsaparilla To purify, vitalize and enrich your bleod, create an appetite and Rive you strength. Liquid or tablets, 100 Doses One Dollar.

Every form of advertising costs monky. We originated the idea of giving this moaey direct to our own customers by stripping one particular brand cf shes of its profits. This we did in our

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giving our customers the first and Cinly hih grade genuine Goodyear welt sewed shoe ever sold in Richmond for $2.50. The plan has proveVan immense success. The sale of this shoe has been unprecedented in the history of the shoe trade in thk cityl It is but a logical result of such a success that our methods are adopted by others. But Remember! They can only duplicate our methods. They cannot duplicate our CURME'S SPEC.AL $2.50 Shoes ! . Don't get confused by the similarity of methods. Simply examine the shoecand there will be no possibility of mistake See our window display. Then comcf in and EXAMINE THE GOODS ! Drmeo Shoe Storef 724 Maiira St

Tb nta In the Rim. ' It is little short of astonishing to see how little water is required to float the southern river steamers, a boat loaded with perhaps a thousand bales of cotton slipping along contentedly where a boy could wade across the stream. Once, however, the Chattahoochee got too low for even her light draft commerce, and at Gunboat shoals a steamer grounded. As the drinking water on . board needed replenishing, a deck hand was sent ashore with a couple of water buckets. Just at this moment a northern traveler approached the captain of tho boat, and asked him how long he thought they would have to stay there. "Oh, only nntil that man gets back with a bucket of water to pour Into the river," the captain replied. Presently the deck hand returned, and the stale water from the cooler, was emptied overboard. Instantly, to tho amazement of the traveler, the boat began to move. -Well, If that doesn't beat thunder!" he gasped. The fact was that the boat, touching the bottom, bad acted as a dam, and there was soon backed up behind her enough water to lift her over tho shoal and send her oa down the stream. Harper's Weekly.

A Remarkable Career. General Sam Houston was not only a great Texan, but probably the most striking and commanding figure which has yet appeared iu the public life of the far southwest boru in Virginia, taken to Tennessee at an early age, whence, while yet iu his teens, he went to war with Andrew Jackson against the Creek Indians; desperately wound ed in the battle of the Horseshoe Bend; adjutant general of Tennessee and a representative in congress from that state; governor of Tennessee in his 3-outh: married, separated from his wife in two months, resigning lmme diateiy as governor, self exiled for years among the Cherokee Indians, emigrating to Texas In 1832; member of the convention of 1830, which de clared Texas to be an Independent re public: general and commander in chief of the army which achieved in dependence at San Jacinto; twice president of tho republic, United States senator and governor of the state. C. A. Culberson la Scrlbner's. John Doe Proceed inffB. "John Doe" proceedings were abol ished by law in Great Britain In 1852, Previous to that time John Doe had figured in the old fashioned ejectment action lor the recovery of the posses sion of land, together with damages for tho wrongful withholding thereof. For various reasons of convenience and history dating from the reign of Edward III. A did not proceed against B directly in such a case. Instead A delivered to B an entirely false statement from the fictitious "John Doe" that A had devised the land to "John" for a term of years, and "John" had been ousted from it by the equally fictitious "Richard Roe." Then Richard informed B that he--Was not going to defend the action himself, but B must do It, and so on. Occasionally, by way of variety, "John Doe" gave place to one "Goodtitle." Columbia River Thrice Named. The Columbia river has had three names. It was first called the Oregon.. Afterward it was called the St. Roque, but when it was discovered by Robert Gray in 1792 It was given the name of his vessel, the Columbia, in place of tho two floating appellations, Oregon and St. Roque. According to Whitney, the original name of the river was the Orejon, "big ear" or "one that has big ears," the allusion being to the custom of the Indians who were found in its region of stretching their ears by boring them and crowding them with ornaments. Why la ItT Here is a question in naval science which is to the average sailor man a riddle unsolved. Take a vessel of, say. 2,500 tons; place on it a cargo of 3,500 tons. This gives you a total of G.000 tons. Hitch a little tug to this vessel, and she will yank the big craft along at the rate of six or eight knots an hour. Now put the tug's machinery in tho big vessel. It won't move her half a knot an hour. Why Is this? When Yon Take a Dnth. When drying off after a bath stand In the bathtub in water up to the ankles. When rubbed with coarse towels until the body is all aglow, step out and wipe the feet. This prevents that uncomfortable chilly feeling experienced if one steps immediately out of a bathtub full of water on to the bath mat. i Emulates the Bee. How doth tha busy bootblack Improve each shining: hour? By taking dirt encrusted shoes And giving them a scour. How patiently he shines away, Nor wasteth any time, But hustles bard to gather la The nimble little dlmet T

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Cor. 11th and Main. Practical Astrology "He foretell! things by th stars," "I suppose a policeman's star means trouble." The Coming Airship. We should hesitate about turning np our noses at the fat, impotent flying machine which, though it now sticks closer to the earth than a poor relation to a rich uncle, may some day force us to turn up our noses to see it as It condescends to look down on us. Tall oaks from little acorns grw, and possibly tall flights may yet grow from big, unwieldy balloons. You never can tell, and even if you did tell who could swear that what you told was so? It Is only ten years ago that the automobile picked itself up bodily by tho tires and lifted Itself out of the toy class, and who can tell but what tha flying machine may give Itself similar treatment? Then., again, the future looks like the inhabitants of Africa when we remember that balloons have been about 'in the same state of mind, ever since the memory of the oldest Jo habitant. s Her Specialty. Bha couldn't make a custard pie. Nor bake a loaf of bread, Nor put a wash out on the line. Nor sweep, nor make a bed. She couldn't boil potatoes right, Nor Just plain hash prepare. Nor turn a plate of toast out crisp Nor cook ft. beefsteak rare. Not one of these was In her line; She wasn't built that way. Tou'd think the man who married her Would for deliverance pray, But she could rustle out each week And bring in thirty per. And that's the reason why the men Made goo goo eyes at her. 2oSdD

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Get the Habit J m r XL PINEAPPLE Large Florida Pine Only 10 G SATUR OHLY Home-flrownf Strawberries, Fresh Vegetables off all kinds. Cream to Whip, BikedAHam, Baked Tenderloin, Country lOrAsed Chicken. You get nothing lutfthe best at the BEE HIVE GROCERY Sk w $12.85 Chicago to Marquette, Mich., 1 and RetJrn. Via the North-western Line. $14.25 Ashland. Wfis., and return. These specikl low ranmd trip rates ar$ in effect evWy Tusday,.-with return limit 21 day. Fof tickets and reser vatlon, apply! to your nearest ticket agent or address W. B. Kniskrn, P. T. M.. C. & NW. It'y Co., Chicago. 25-5t .: .,, - '-y - . QTC Been the flwl hm mn ? ,lhe Kind too Have Always Palladium Want Ads Pay. Slfo8;

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