Rensselaer Union, Volume 11, Number 46, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 31 July 1879 — Page 3

The Rensselaer Union. RENSSELAER, ;,■ • . INDIANA.

Mi LITTLE WIFE. Bbe Isn’t very pretty (Ho «ay her lady-friends); Hbe's neither wise nor witty. With verbal odds and ends. No fleeting freaks of Fashion Across her fancy run. Hhe's never in a paesion— . Except a tender one. Her voioe is low and oooing; Bhe listens more than speaks. While others talk of doing, The duty near she seeks. It may be bnt to burnish The sideboard'sscanty plato, Or but with bread to furnish The beggar the gate. Ho I who see what graces Hhe sheds on lowly life. To Fashion's fairest faces Prefer my little wife. And though at her with pity The city dames may smile, Who deem her hardly pretty And sadly out of style— To me she seems a creature Ho musically sweet, I would not change one feature— One curve from crown to feet. And if I could be never Her lover and her mate, 1 think I’d be forever The beggar at the cate. —//. W. Amlin, in ficrltiiierfor August.

HERCULES-JACK.

A STOKY rOR BOYS, Not his real name; of course not. Hjs father and mother would never have given him such a name as that. His real name was John hranklin Holmes, and thorn wasn’t a, wooden bench, a gate-post, or barn-door within a mile of his father’s house on which the initials *• J. F. H.” might not have beeaiound—cut by a very busy but somewhat battered jack-knife. Hereules-Jack was only a nickname he had pioked up, and you shall judge how fairly ho came by it when I have told you a little more about him. Johnny, or Jack Holmes, as he was oftener called,' was just ten years old. Jack was round, chubby, with red hair, blue eyes, and a freckled nose that turned up the least bit in the world at the end. Did I sa(y he was plump? If I didn’t 1 should do so at once, for that was the very first thing that struck you about Jack; be was quite plump; indeed, I may say very plump; his cheeks were as round as .apples, there were dimples in the backs of his hand?, and his k jacket fitted him as tightly as a skin does a sausage. Now, this wfis a sore point with Jack, especially as the boys used to laugh at Jam, so me time§, because lie was so fat; but perhaps Jack would not have mindded the boys very much if one day he had not overheard Polly Joy whisper to Susy Ditson, when he was standmg behind their desk doing a sum in vulgar fractions upon the blackboard, that he was “ a ridiculous little dumpling.” This was too much; it shot a pang into poor Jack’s heart. For to whisper to you a little secret, Jack very much admired Polly. He thought her cheeks were the rosiest., her braids were the longest, her dresses were the finest, her hats the prettiest, and that she herself was altogether the nicest girl, in the big round world. Poor Jack!—Polly’s unkind remark rankled.in his bosom. After brooding over it for several days, he awoke one morning and took a sudden resolution. He clenched his teeth, pounded his fat little fist on the table, and exclaimed: “If I am a dumpling. I’ll do something that all the thin boys in the world couldn’t do.” Jack’s round little head was full of schemes; his throbbing little heart was full of courage; he had a spirit big enough for a giant, while his ambition, for a ten-year old boy, was really quite tremendous. Now, Jack had read a good many books of adventure; there was nothing he liked better than to pore over the doings of knights and dwarfs, giants, dragons and magicians, and that .sort of people. Especially he admired and reverenced Jack-the-Giant-Killer, while he bemoaned that there were no giants left for him to destroy. He thought of other ways of distinguishirig himself. Ha considered the merits of highwaymen and pirates; but as he knew that pepple in thdfce professions nearly always came to bad ends, and as there was no lonely road where he oould wait for travelers, and no fleet horse to ride, and as no convenient ocean lay near his father’s house, and there was no way of his getting a long, low, black schooner, if the ocean had been there, he gave up these plans. Finding these roads to distinction shut to lum, Jack went about for a while quite dejected, until one day he came across an old book of my thology in the library, and there read of the exploits of Hercules, the great hero of antiquity, who performed twelve celebrated “labors," or heroic deeds. Jack’s eyes,glowed as he read the wonderful narrative. Again and again he pored over the record with bated breath' and kindled imagination. And as he read of the mighty deeds of this great hero, a purpose gradually took root in his mind. He would be another such hero—a modern Hercules. The thought thrilled him. He brooded over it by day; it haunted his dreams by night. He went about with a lofty look on his face. Ho already regarded the other boys with the pity and compassion with which a real hero would perhaps regard common men. x But how to become a Hercules?— that was the next question. There were no roaring lions, no savage wild boars, no many-iieadetj hydras in the little village where ho iived. Neither did centaurs abound; indeed, Jack had never seen one in his life; “ but'tben,” he thought to himself, “there must be plenty of other terrible and wonderful things to do,” and so his resolution was taken. But how to begin? I’ve got to do something first to get up a name before I begin on the ‘ labors,’ ” said Jack. “Hercules strangled the snakes—l’m rather afraid Jof snakes —:but stop; the first thing to do is to get a club; of course that’s the main thing. With the right sort of a club, the ‘labors’ themselves can’t amount to much.” Accordingly Jack spent davs traversing the woods with an old ax, in search of a club. After a long hunt he at jjength decided upon a hickory sapling with a formidable knot, about four feet from the ground, which 19 could be cut so as to bring this knot at,, the end. of" the club,. With -patient toil Jack, out- downy trimmed 'ahd"p'eeTed and whittled and polished this hickory stick, which, when done, was fully as long as himself, and ihdeed he could

only wield it by using both hands and putting jortfa all his strength. Now, at length, he was ready to begin. He drew a long breath. What Bhould he doP Ho pondered the question, long and anxiously. It was very strange, but now when lie oame to look about him, thero really was nothing wonderful to do. Life surprisingly peaceful and humdrum, and pitifully tame. The most discouraging thing was tho lack of ferocious monsters. There was an utter dearth of monsters. Jack couldn't understand why these interesting creatures only abounded in ancient times. One day, while Jack was still puzzling over the question of what he should do first, one of the neighbors came into the house, and began to tell about her little boy who had just barely escaped being tossed by old Sol Stevens’ bull. Here was an opportunity. This was what Jack was waiting for, and he immediately decided upon a plan of action. Sol Stevens was a crabbed old man who lived down a long lane, and owned an old bull as crabbed as himself. Again and again the boys and girls, and indeed grown-up women and men, had been chased and scared by this savage beast, who, not content with his own domain, had a vicious habit of leaping fences and roaming about the highway. Many complaints had been made to old Sol without avail, and the bull had become the terror of the neighborhood. It was almost strange Jack had not thought of him before.

He now at once determined upon an encounter with the bull. But first he went down the lane and took a private look at the creature from behind a stone-wall. He seemed so little formidable as he stood peacefully grazing in the meadow, that Jack promised himself an easy task in his subjugation. In playing the part of Hercules, it was desirable, of course, to look as much like that hero as possible, and accordingly, one fine afternoon Jack slipped off to the barn with a big bundle under his arm, and there proceeded to dress himself as nearly as he could like the picture of the old mythology. As Hercules had bare legs and arms iu the picture, Jack first tucked up his own trousers and sleeves, and tied them securely to his waist and shoulders; then for the lion’s. skin, which the hero wore, Jack fastened about his shoulders a bright red sheepskin mat which he borrowed from the hall in the house. Next throwing off his hat, tossing his hair about as mucli like the picture as possible, Jack seized his club and Strode up and down the barn floor, feeling so bray# and confident that it may be doubted if Hercules himself ever felt more so. Thus equipped, Jack at length marched off down the lane, accompanied by three or four of his comrades whom he had let into the secret. Precisely what be was going to do, or how he was going to do it, lie evidently had no clear notion; but in this he was only like a great many other heroes, after all. However, the first thing was, of course, to seek his prey. On and on he went down the lane, his bare legs blue with the cold, the sheepskin flapping up and down on his back, and the big club, too heavy to carry—dragged along behind. Arrived at the bottom of the lane, tho boys stationed themselves upon the wall, while Jack jumped c ner into the pasture where the bull was. He didn’t walk quite so proudly and erect here as in the lane—he-took shorter steps; thero was, perhaps, less occasion for striding now that lie was near at hand. However, ho advanced slowly and cautiously toward the’ distant herd of cattle. Now and then he turned around in a deliberative way. His pace grew steadily slower. At length, when he was still some yards distant, the bull unexpectedly lifted his head to brush away a fly, and brought Jack to a sudden stand-still. Reflecting, however, that Hercules would probably not have acted in this way. Jack plucked up courage and marched boldly up very near to the unsuspecting bull. Jack had read somewhere that the most wild and savage beast cannot endure the gaze of the human eye, and he therefore resolved to overawe the bull first with his oye, and then complete his subjugation at his leisure. With this intent, he planted himself about a yard distant from the bull, and putting his arms akimbo, glared fiercely at him. The unconscious animal peacefully continued his gazing. No doubts 'if lw could have known who Jack was,, and what was his errand, or if he had understood that when A small boy goes about bareheaded with his trousers tucked up and the parlor mat tied to his back, that means Hercules, and that Hercules was a hero, and that Jack meant to be another hero, and had now fixed his small blue eyes upon him with the intent of striking terror to his heart—no doubt, I say, if the bull could have understood all this, he woul,d have been terribly frightened, and would have shaken in every limb; and particularly , if he had only oast bis oye upon that club, and understood it was intended for him, lam sure he would have run away as fast as his legs could carry him. As it was, the stupid -did nothing of the sort; he kept on quietljr-grazing and paving no more attention to Jack than if he had been a post. This was too humiliating for a horo to endure. The boys from the top of the distant wall already began to shout, derisively: “Don’t be afraid; give it to him! Punch him uy the ribs! Stare him out of .countenance! Knock his horns off! Twist his tail!!’ Jack advanced a little nearer; ho coughed, he flourished his club. Presently, incited by the cries of the boys, he picked up a stone and threw it at the passive animal. The bull lifted his head, and for the first time looked attentively at Jack, who immediately struck an attitude and glared at him. To his astonishment, the bull did not quail in tho least; on the contrary, as if suddenly appreciating Jack’s hostile purpose, he ■glared back so angrily and fiercely that Jack became very much discomfited and began slowly to retire. The bull tossed his head, uttered a low bellow, and stood watching Jack attentively. The red mat about this time began to slip from Jack’s shoulder, and he pulled it up so that it hiing in front of him, when at once, as if maddened by the sight, the bull made a furious rush at hiaartfagortlst. Jack did not wait to try the effect of tho human longer; indeed, bn forgot all about tho human eye, ho forgot;all about Hercules, and-every other hero, ancient or modern, but throwing his club at the applq-tree, which fortunately was near at hand. The bull stopped to toss. club, and this gave - Jack a minute’s time and^saved his life, fdr he had only

just scrambled up to the nearest branch when the vicious beast came bellowing up underneath, and stamping with rage. Jack was now a prisoner, and was lust making up his mind that he would lave to spend a long time in the tree, when the boys suddenly set np a great shout of: “Look out, Jack; old Sol’s coming!” And sure enough, old Sol was coming; thero he was, letting down the bars now, to take his cattle home. Jack kfcpt very still, and hoped he would not be discovered, fpr lie was even more afraid of old Sol than of the bull. But the unfortunate red mat caught old Sol’s eye, and he came marching across to sec what was that red thing in his tree. “Come down hero, you young rascal! What are you doing up my ap-ple-tree P” he cried, as he recognized Jack. “Nothin’, sir—tho bull chased me!" “ Well, what business bad you in this field where the bull oould get at youP You came to steal my apples; I know you!” “Oh, 1 d-didn’t,, sir; no, indeed, I d-didn’t!” “Come down hero, I tell ye. What are you doin’ with that door mat on your back, eh?” r. ...

“Oh, please,” cried Jack, his teeth chattering with fear, “I was only playing Hercules.” “ I’ll ‘ Hercules ’ ye! ” cried old Sol, seizing Jack as he came down the tree and shaking him roughly. “Let me ever ketch you in my apple-tree ag’in and I’ll ——ye miserable voung urchin!” Here now was hero Jack in the strong grasp of an angry man, and with a stick in the air ready to come down on his back. Then rose such indignant and significant shouts from the group of boys on the wall that Sol Stevens turned. Jack saw his chance and made a sudden spring, His collar tore off in the old man’s hand, and the culprit was soon safely over the wall, and making the best of bis way home, surrounded by the boys, who were waiting in the lane, and who by turns ridiculed him and congratulated him on his escape. Jack wouldn’t have minded the boys, but, just as he turned out of the lane upon the road, whom should he see coming along but Susy Ditson and Polly Joy! The more Jack tried to hide the more the boys wouldn’t let him. There was a pretty lively scramble. The girls heard, looked up and saw a squirming mass of dark coats and trousers pushing forward a red-faced boy, whose plump arms were waving wildly, while a woolly red door-mat dangled about his bare legs! Then came a halt, a sudden wrench, and away flew Jack down the road, oven faster than he had fled from the bull. And this was the last that was seen in public of John Franklin Holmes in tho character of Hercules.— E. L. Bynner, in St. Nicholas for August.

PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

—The Chicago Tribune says that the estate of the late W. B. Ogden, which qt the time of his death was thought to be very large, will leave very little for Lis heirs because of the shrinkage of values. —When P. T. Barnum, a young man, poor and in debt, left Danbury, he said to Judge Whittlesey: “I will pay that bill when I get rich.” The Judge drew down his judicial features, and disdainfully replied: “ That will be when a sieve holds water.” In a few years the visionary young man was in a condition to pen the following brief letter to tho Judge: “ I have fixed that sieve.”— Danbury News. > —Levi Nusbaum of Carroll County, Md., has learned that an elopement may be a very serious matter. His coui’panion was Ida Englar, for whose father he worked as a farm hand. The girl was only twelve years old, but she entered upon the exploit with great zekt, packing her clothes surreptitiously, and (lying with her lover at three o’clock in the morning. The couple were arrested on a railroad train while on their way to have a marriage ceremony performed. A jury decided that Nusbaum was guilty of abduction, and he was sent to prison for eight years. —Governor Allen, of Ohio, was a man of striking personal appearance, especially in his old age, when his hair had whitened till it was line silver and beautiful to behold. His complexion to the last was ruddy and clear, and his blue eye bright and intelligent His figure was erect. A stroke of paralysis had affected bis hands, and gave some uncertainty to their movements. This interfered with his writing, and necessitated a special seal for him in subscribing his name to oflicial acts when Governor. Otherwise there was little evidence of phj sical decay or weakening of mental powers up to the time of his death. . X. —Senator Chandler told a reporter the other day that if he is ever attacked he will use only his fists in defense. “ Many years ago,” he said, “I determined to take a course of training in boxing, and I employed one of the best t.'alners in the country, the man who trained Heenan tor his famous prize fight before the war. I was under this man’s charge for at least six months, and in that time became quite an adept jn using my fists. I got up a first-class muscle, and have preserved it to this day. No person in the Senate suspects that I am a boxer, dr that I can strike a blow of iron, but if I am ever assailed, my assailant will discover that 1 can defend myself without resorting to weapons.”— N. Y. Evening Post. —The following story is told of Mr. Smith, the colored caterer in Boston, who died a few days ago. Paran Stevens, when landlord of the Revere House in Boston, sent for Smith and said: “Mr. Webster is here and he is going to have a number of distinguished friends down at Marshfield, Lord Ashburton among them, atid he wants you to cater for him.” Said Smith’: “I won’t go.” “ Yon must,” said Mr. Stevens; ” letme take you and introduce you to Mr. Webster.” With thifl they went to Mr. Webster’s room. Smith had on at the time a Kossuth hat, which had just come in vogue in those days. He did not remove it as he entered Mr. Webster’s presence. Mr. Stevens introduced higi tb the statesman with tho remark: „t*This is Mr. Smith, tho caterer.” Mr. Webster, then told him what he wanted. As soon as Mr. Webster had ceased speaking Mr. Smith got up, and, swinging his hat in his hand, said with great vehemence, “ I won’t work -■for you. You an? the “father of the Fugitive I ain a> fifgftive slave;” and with this remark he turned onjttkheel and left Mr. Stovens i and Mr. Webster together.

HOME, FARM AND GARDES.

—The greatest profit always conies from early feeding, and it is retained by full feeding afterward.— larva State Register. —Two weoks ago thirty good-sized shoats were quartered upon three acres of ground which is about equally seeded to alfalfa and clover. At this writing the grass has gained upon the pigs, ana the pigs have gained amazingly. This is our way of solving the problem of how to raise oheappork.— Kansas Agri-cultural-College Paper. —To make a cheap barometer, take a long half-ounoe vial, fill it with spirits of wine, put in a little finely pulverized alum, and the instrument is made. In dry weather the spirits will be clear, and the coming of a storm will be indicated by a spiral cloud rising in the liquid, more or less rapidly, according to the intensity of the storm. —lce Cream —One quart of milk, tho yelks of four eggs, one large spoonful of Hour stirred to a smooth paste in a little of the milk, and one pound of sugar; scald until thick, taking care not to let it burn. When cold, add one quart of whipped cream and the beaten whites of feur eggs; flavor to suit the taste, and it is ready to be frozen. —Ready-Made Lemonade.—to make lemon syrup, squeeze two lemons into a dish, not tin, add a pint of water, and boil a few moments. A pound of white sugar should be added to a pint of the juice; boil it again ten minutes, bottle, and your lemonade is made. Two tablespoonfuls of the mixture added to a tumbler of water, makes a very healthy and palatable drink.

—Currant Jam—Pick free from stems and leaves, wash, weigh and brush; put into a porcelain kettle and place on the back of the stove where they will gradually heat; then let boil twenty minutes and add sugar in the proportion of three-fourths pound to a pound of the fruit. Boil one half hour longer, stirring most of the time. When done put into small jars or glasses and either seal or secure like jelly, with paper. —Chocolate Custard.—To one quart of milk use one-fourth of a pound of prepared chocolate; scrape tho chocolate and mix with cold milk to a thick paste; boil fifteen minutes, adding three tablespoonfuls of sugar, and flavor to taste; then set away to cool; beat five eggs smoothly, add to the former mixture, and let it come to a boil, stirring all the time; or, it may be baked in cups; have your cups stand in water while baking. —Spiced Currants (very nice to eat with cold meats for lunch) —To a pint of good vinegar add a pound of brown sugar; this is sufficient for four quarts of stemmed currants. Tie whole spices, cloves, cinnamon and a few allspice in muslin bags, drop into the vinegar, and boil thirty minutes; then Turn in the currants and boil ten minutes; remove the spice bags before putting the currants into jars. If they should not be spiced sufficiently, stir in a little powdered spices. —Brown Gravy Soup.—Take about three pounds of beef, one carrot, one turnip, one head of celery, six small onions, or less in number if larger, and about four quarts of water. Have ready some nice drippings in a frying jan, slice the onions and fry them Irown; take them out and set them aside in a covered pan to keep warm; cut the beef into bits about an inch long and half inch thick, fry them brown also turning often lest they should burn; chop the vegetables and pat them with the meat and onions in a covered pot. Pour on the water and stew all together for two hours, throw in salt and pepper, boil ( a little longer, skimming very carefully; strain, put back over the fire, boil up once more to make the liquid clear, skim again and then add a handful of vermacelli that has been boiled separately. The safest plan is to add the vermacelli when the soup is poured into the tureen. —Detroit Post and Tribune.

Heusehold Ice-Chests and How to Keep Them.

In refrigerating apparatus for domestic use, of course, we stand pre-emi-nent. But we have arrived at our present form of appliance only by slow and gradual ebanges. The most noted improvement of late years in ice-chests ias been that the food to be preserved is no longer in immediate contact with the ice. The reasons are very numerous why food should not be in imme(Uate juxtaposition with ice. We will only qite two of them. Immediate contact wastes the ice, which, in continuous melting, washes out, more or less, the savor of the food. The best form, then, of the apparatus is where the ice is placed in a chamber apart from the food, and the temperature is reduced by radiation. One thing which is often overlooked by the housekeeper is that some small amount of ventilation in certain periods of refrigeration is necessary. Such exhalations as come from bieat or fish, the soluble compounds being carried away by vapor, invariably condense in the first stages of cooling. Very careful housekeepers, when meat is first put in the ice-chest, do not close down the lid of the safe too tight. T here is some small waste of the ice, but when the proper time has come and the chest is closed, there is improvement in the flavor of the meat. It is exceedingly wasteful, under the ordinary conditions of the old-fashioned ice-chest, not to envelope the ice in some woolen cover, such as a common blanket. In the newer apparatus, where there is no immediate contact, it is still much more economical to blanket the ice. The trouble, of course, is that when ice is wanted to cool water, the contents of the sjtfe have to bo disturbed. Even in economical families, where an expense of over fifty cents a week for ice is not allowed by the paucity of the budget, after the first outlay for an ice-cooler is made, its purchase will be paid two or three times over in the summer by the saving of the extra cost of ice. Nothing requires greater care, hicre constant solicitude than an ice-chest- As has been stated, tho cooling process precipitates those compounds which are found iu the aqueous vapor. A careless person will buy ice lavishly for the ice-chest, and-will still have a most unsavory receptacle for food. At least twice a Week the ice-box should be cleansed, by wiping it out with fresh water in wolptbi and giving it, at tho end of thorough scrubbing. Thero are certain things, such as milk, which are Very susceptible of taint, and will take not only an odor but tlflMistinct taste from other food. Fish, ravvj or even cooked, is very apt, even under the most favorable circumstances, to Impart its peculiar flavor. A hot dish ougjit never to be put into an ice-chest. This niay occur when It is necessary to preparir food be eaten cold, such as a pudding, a salad, or mayonnaise. In this case, cool down the dish in cold water just before plac-

lag in the chest, or evon ice it separate, though the expense of ice be increased. Metal slats in ice-chhsts, evon if they be of galvanized iron or zinz, may bo quite well replaced by wooden slats. can do moved about, so as to hold dishes witji food, and, what is better, can be thoroughly scrubbed. Uncooked food is best placed in a dish in an ice-chest. It can be more readily moved, and is less likely to be mixed up with other food. There are two methods of having ico served, either by a daily quantity by weight, or contracting with the iceman to keep the supply up during the week, indifferent as to weather. The latter, with some slight increase of cost, has its advantages. Of course, there never is any method, save by actual weighing the ioe, by which the certainty can be arrived at that the housekeeper gets all the ice paid for. The contract system simplifies this. The honor of the ice-man may be said, however, under all conditions, to be very problematic of its kind. Refrigerating processes on a grand scale are seen at their best in New York City where fish are preserved. Briefly described, “a freeze! ” is a lh,rgu double chamber, the walls betweeil being filled with ice. A better form is where ckst-iron cylinders of considerable diameter pass through the chamber, which columns are tilled with ice. Great excess of cold in keeping food deteriorates its quality. With anjptatense lowering of temperature animal tissue is disintegrated and quite an appreciable difference in taste occurs. When the meat is thawed out it is soft, and all its elasticity of fiber is gone. The old idea that a leg of mutton was better when it was frozen and thawed and frozen and thawed is absurd. We are not yet quite sure that ceitain very peculiar mechanical transformation in the fatty tissue of meat does not take place by great cold. St. Petersburg meat, which is frozen, is very poor meat. Butchers in New York, in their and their shipments of mcajt abroad, are exceedingly careful that the temperature shall be considerably above the freezing point. The laws governing temperatures; ''Or rather the methods of preserving these temperatures, though simple enough, are rarely understood by persons intelligent in other respects. One law is that the same methods or appliances which keep in the heat keep in the cold. It may be very theoretical, but just as there are methods purposed to heat houses on a large scale, the caloric to be distributed from one common center, so is it possible that there could be copstructed in the midst of a block of houses or the quarter of a city an apparatus which would refrigerate all the food in the adjacent houses, It is, of course, questionable as yet whether refrigerating machines of ice-making machines may supplant in our lats tude the natural product of our frozen rivers. The applications of science to this subject have, however, very much simplified these processes, and, as far as economy goes, there are to-day many Southern cities which use only such ice as is made artificially. — N. ¥. Times.

“ As Young as Your Daughter.”

“Tell you what, Taperly,” said the one day, “you must throw a ,little more tact into your trades if you want to get on. I have noticed that you try to flatter the ladies, but you don’t lay it on thick enpugh. Whenever you see a lady come in with her grown daughter, you must be sure to mistake the old lady for the daughter, and tell her she looks as young as her daughter. That never fails to get ’em. Here comes Mrs. Boblink with her daughter Maria, and I know they will want to look at silks.” But the floor-manager was a little shortsighted, and had made a slight mistake as regarded one of the persons. When Mrs. Boblink, cheery and chipper, though hardly as young as she once was, sailed up to the silkcouuter, she was not accompanied by her daughter, but by Miss Mose Helianthus, a spinster ~of uncertain age and decidedly faded appearance. The deluded Taperly opened his batteries at once: "* . “Mrs. Boblink, I believe, though I must confess that I can hardly distinguish you from your daughter. You are looking almost, if not quite, as young as the young lady at your side.” “ Sir!” exclaimed the indignant Boblink. “ Sir!” echoed the exasperated.Helianthus. “Don’t say that it isn’t so, my dear Miss Boblink,” continued the unfortunate Taperly, turning to the faded flower, and failing to notice the storms that were gathering on the two female faces. “You know that your mother doesn’t look a day, older than you do, and I must realty beg you to tell me which of you is Mrs. Boblink and which is Miss Boblink.” “Do you suppose that I came here to be insulted?” exclaimed the Helianthus; “do you presume, you onioneating idiot, to compare me, a young lady, to a wrinkled hag of a married woman who is old enough to be ray grandmother?” “Do you mean, you red-headed ignoramus,” exclaimed the Boblink, “to say that I look no younger than that faded and withered old maid, who is fifty if she is a day? You ought to be arrested, you vile creature, and I will complain to the proprietor at once.” Taperly is looking for a sitvMtion.— Brooklyn Eagle. A butcher at Des Moines, lowa, has a list of regular customers who come Ecriodically to drink blood for their ealth. The beverage is given fresh from the veins of the slaughtered animals,. and is said to be “ tossed off” by the patient with the grace of a Teuton in a lager-beer saloon.

How Women Would Vole.

Were the question admitted to the ballot, and women were allowed to vote, eTery woman In the land who has used Dr. Pierce’s Far ▼orite Prescription would vote it to be an unfailing remedy for the diseases peculiar to her sex. Dr. Pierce has received hundreds of grateful tesUmonials of its curative power lowa Crrr, lowa. March 4, 1878Dr. R. V. Pierce, BuiTalo. N. Y.: Dear Sir—Tor many months I was a great sufferer. Physicians could afford me no relief. In my despair I commenced the use of your Favorite Prescription- U speedily effected mv entire and permanent cure. Yours thankfully, Mbs. Paul R. Baxter. Binc* the first Introduction of Dr. F. Wllhofl’s A’ntl-Periodic or Fever and Ague Tonic, It has steadily gained In popularity with the people, but since its proprietors, Wheetock, Finlay & Co., gave Its composition to the world, so that everybody can know what It Is, the sale of it has doubled Itself. It contains no dangerous drug, and yet It is the greatest specific against malarial dtscases, such as Chills and Fever, and Dumb Chills. For sale by all Druggists, -■./ —.— ’-J For Pies, etc., use C. Gilbert's Corn Btarch. Cusw Jackson’s Best Sweet Navy Tobacco.

HOSTETTE^ Bitters It Is pai»lve suicide to permit the health to be undermined, the constitution broken, and the lease or life shortened, hj nerrous complaints, constipation, biliousness, Indigestion, headache, or Intermittent and remittent fevers, when It Is a fact established by ungues Untied evidence that the Bitten will prevent and remove Uinse evils. AU the symptoms of lassitude and general debility apoedlly vanish when this luvlgorant Is given a trial. For sale by all Drugglsta and respectable Dealers generally.

The only 26 Cent AGUE REMEDY x IN THE WOULD. A safe and reliable substitute for Quinine. The best known remedy for all diceases caused by Malarial Poisoning, being a preventive as well as a certain cure for FEVER and AGUE, Dumb Ague, Ague Cake, Remittent, Intermittent Fevers, Kidney Disease, Liver and Bowel Complaints, Dyspepsia and General Debility; the best general Tonic for Debilitated Systems. Pride, 26 cents per box Sold by all Druggists in this town. Mailed on receipt of price by DUNDAS DICK & CO., 35 Wooster Street, New York. Explanatory book mailed FREE on application. AUSTIN’S AGUE DROPS. Purely Vegetable. Contain no Quinine or Arsenic. =WABBANTE» TO CUBE AGUE. Dose, lO Drop*. Only SO cent* s Bottle. Austin’s Auuk Drops are prepared from hlghly-con-centra ted Extracts of Willow, Dog-Wood and Iron-Woed; hence are perfectly safe and reliable. They are a sure cure for Ague and all Bilious Diseases. For sale everywhere. AUSTIN h SYKES, Propr’s. Plymouth, Ohio. The Old Reliable and Jeatly Celebrated BIHDBELL CLOVER SEPARATOR The only doublecylinder Clover Machine made in the U. 8.. greatly Improved and prices reduced for 1879. The Clover Leaf, a paper giving valuable Information on the culture and saving Clover Seed, tent /rev: also, lllustr’d price-list. Address BIRDHtUX Bra, oo., South Bend.lnd.

HURON ST. SCHOOL 3ffS2S , *S spacious new building Sept 17. For Information addr’as Miss Kirkland or Miss Adams, 275 Huron St,Chicago. reutsalizc* jerks acHoxes.f’REVEN™ w EEk ’ Mw.ni.~ui uuv revnw. JWI VIJ LEATHER COLLAR PAPS HAllNKßß'iind SAVIILKRI HOUSm justThebook for summer reading. RANDOM SHOTS! MAX ADELER’S LATEST and BEST BOOK. Illustrated with many humorous drawings by Arthur * Frost. Illuminated Paper Binding. 75c; cloth, sl. For sale by all iKmkaellere and newsdealers, or mailed on receipt ot price by J. rn . It TOUD AHT Ac CO., Cuhllnhert, Is. 707 Cheat nut Ht.. I‘hiUuleltthtee. HCU Us A UTCn at Tampa, FloridaIRCR WARI LU to work 0.1 Railroad. Parties desirous of purchasing Inti In Medora, Polk County, Florida, should not wait until the Company advance the price again. Lots at present Three and Four dollars each. „„„ S acres. Improved, at Clear Water }Ld->{| lfi acres on Tampa Bay .-w5U acres on Tampa Bft. ..X •••••■• Bearing Orange Grove In SVimpter County $12.0*81 Sand 10 acre Orange Tract. Polk County, tdo per acre. Land, from $1.25 to SI,OOO per acre, fur sale. Apply to WM. VAN FLEET. South Florida Land and Emigration Office. 148 LaSalle S»„ Chicago. Agents wanted. P AGENTS WANTED FOR THI ' ICTORIAL HISTORY 0 ”® WORLD It contains «»* tine historical engravings and I.rMO large double column pages.and Is the most complete History of the World ever published. It sells at sight. Send for specimen pages and extra terms to Agents, and see why It sel Is faster than any other hook. Address, ■ NATIONAL Chleago. DL fl A T AT) A TkA i&TE LULUMDU s Cold A M|lver Mining Co,, at $1.25 per share: full pgld and non-asseesable. For partlnilars wills at once IoK-S. HUNT, Sec.. 110 Dearborn iM. Chicago. 111.

medical^college hospital. tins October 1. 18711. For catalogues, addmis T. M. HOVXK, ■. 817 Wabash Avenue, Chloagn, 11L “Sgents. read this. WewlU pay Agents a Salary of 1100 per month and expenses, or allow a largo commission, to sell our new and wonderful Inventions. We mean ichnt ice mu. Sample free. Address SHERMAN fcotx, Marshall,Mlch._ RUSH MEDICAL COLLEGE, 11 CHICAGO, XXjXj. ; sSedou begins sept 2V, 187 V. Send for A nunnl, tor I'amt graduate, or for Spring Caitrne Announcement to JASES H. RTHEKIDOK, Nrrrclary, Chicago. tW~MenUun Oils paper. TP! P —Choicest In tbs world—lmpoit-r’s prices I rllA Largrat CompAnj 111 America staple I tnW > article—pleases every Insly—Trade continually increasing -Agents wanted everywhere-best inline- ments - Pon t waste tlme-send f»r Circular. ROUT WELLS, 48 Vesey St, N. Y. P. O. Box 1287 AWNINGS TENTS. H Ww lillvUwi Water-proof Cover*. Signs, Window Shades, etc, MURRAY A BAKER »» ft 40 S. Canal-st. Chicago. Setul for llluu'd Price-Lilt. UNION COLLEGE OF LAW, flrtt Collegiate Year (86 weeks - begins Sept 10,187 V. Tuition, 1 1 5 per year. For Catalogues, etc., address HENRY BOOTH, 505 West Lake Street Chlcago.lil. (f q Pfl A month —Agent* Wanted—36 best rtk.T ’ll I selling articles In thewofkl: one sample WVvU fret. Address Jay Bronson, betrolt Mich. per UCDC To do^lrtvlneßusinessind OCC rl ELI* B Mak«7Unner.*endMonc«tor circulars and terms «o M. J. McCullpuah, Lawrence. Kan. MAAR A YEAR J“a*v made In each UtUUU county. Good hullueas men anil agents. CHAfTW AS. fifty-M-st. Maillson. Ind., rOPHAM’S '““s' "W- *■*' *» d "*<’“* TriU "***• ABTHMA sp^w assrw. t. roruAM aoo„ Hubniptn, y* A. N. K. 75. v * 728-8-J- t

s&n. euuK^x #JOHNSOM’B% Mu Blood Syrup. LABORATORY, 77 W. 3d s♦., New York City. L~r, „ „ [TEADE-MAEE.] The Best Remedy Known to Man! Dr. Clark Johnson having aseoefated htniaelf wlthOLr. Edwin Kastman, an esoaped captive, long a slue to Wakametkla. the medicine man of the Comanche*, la now prepared to lend hla aid In the Introduction of .tbs wonderful remedy of that tribe. The experience of Mr. Eastman being similar to that of Mrs. Chas. Jones and sen, of Washington County lowa, an account of whose sufferings were thrilllnr y narrated In the New York Herald of Dec. 15th, 18i{l, the facts of which are so widely known, and so nearly parallel, that hut little mention of Mr. Eastman’s experiences will be given here. They are. however, published In s nest volume of 800 pages, entitled ’Steven and Nine Years Among the Comanche* and Apaches." of which mention will ne made hereafter. Suffice It to say that for several years Mr. Eastman, while a captive, was compelled to gather the roots. gums, barks, herbs and berries of which Wakametkla’s medicine was made, and Is still prepared to provide the tun materials for the successful Introduction of the medicine to the world; and assures the public that the remedy Is the same now aa when Wakametkla xompelled him to Wakametkla, tbe Medicine Man. Nothing has been added to the medicine and nothing has been taken away. It Is without doubt the Best Purifies of the Blood and Renews* of the System ever known to man. This Syrup possesses varied propertied It nets upon the Elver, ir suite upon the Kidneys. It regulate* the Bowels, It purifies the Blosa. It quiet* the Nervous System. It promote* Digestion. It Nourishes, strengthens and Invigorate*. „ . It carries off the old blood and naakco New. It open* the pores o t the akin, and Induce* Healthy Perspiration. It neutralises the hereditary taint or poison in the blood, which generates Scrofula. Erysipelas and all manner of skin diseases and Internal humors. There are no spirits employed hi Its manufacture, and It can he taken by the most delicate babe, or by ths aged and feeble, care onlv being recruited in attention u> directions. < Ah nDnEL Afro

Edwin Eastman in Indian Costume. Sever ahd Nina Yeabe Among the Comanches are Apaches. A neat volume of 800 page*, being a simple statement of tbe horrible tacts connected with the sad massacre of a helpless family, and the captivity, tortures and ultimate escape of Ite two surviving members. For sale by our agents generally. Price, SI.OO. The Incidents of the massacre, briefly narrated, are distributed .by agents, fbei of charge. Mi. Kastman, being almost constantly at the Week engaged In gathering and curing tbe materials of which the medicine Is composed, the sole business management devolves upon Dr. Johnson, and the remedy has been called, and Is known as Dr. Clark Johnson'* INDIAN BLOOD PURIFIER.* Price of Large Bottle* - - SI.OO Price of Small Bottles - - .60 Read the voluntary tesftmonlalFWf persons who havt been cured by the use of Hr. (’lark Johnson’s India* Blood Syrup In your own vicinity. TESTIMONIALS OF CUBES. •yspeptfa and Indigestion. FkAwessTtLLi, Pulaski Co.. Ind., March it, 187 W Dear Sir—l was troubled tor five «r six yean with Dyspepsia and Indigestion and Sour Stomach. 1 was enable to Dnd relief under-the care of physician*, sad thought 1 would try your Indian Blood Myra*. The effect was marvelous, far 1 am entirely f-eo from Dyspepsia, and eat most any food without experiencing «W Pain « Sourness of the Stomach. U. f. hatha wax Scrofulous Gore Eye* Cored. Spencer, Owen County, mdDerrr Sir- Some time ago, my daughter, five yean of Age. took your Indian Blond Rrrsp for Scrofulous Sore Eyes, which she was afflicted with from birth, and tbe medicine miraculously cured her' Her eyes are now aa clear aa crystal. I reel It my ABoty to give this trot! nony, so that afflicted humanity Inaj profit by ny experience. JAMES IL‘UAVIS.

Derived Very Great Relief. Crown Point, Lake County, Ind. Dear Sir—l had been troubled with Catarrh for some Ume, using all kinds of medicine, wdtbout success, UUI Wed y-nr weU-kuown lull tan It food (Syrup, from •bleb I derived very great relief. ' MRS. FRANK PULLER. More Good than Aay Other Medicine. Michigan City. La port* County, Ind. Fred. Boflnger, of Ktoepfer ft Co., says: “ Your remedy bas done my wife more good than any other medicine sbsever took." _____ Saves Doctors’ Bills. BitTn.LOViI.Lt, Washington Co., Ind., May 22,187*. Dear Sir- 1 have been using tho luiltau Blood Syrup in my family fur tho past five years, and It has always given general satisfaction, especially hi the case of my wire, who has used it for General Debility. It Is the greatest blood purifier known to the world. It has saved me a doctor’s bill of not lees than live hundred dollars. HOC. PHIPPS. Cires Cough of Six Years’ Standing! 11 Lingo, Wabash County, lnd„ December, 187* , User .Sir— l wUI toll you what the India* Blood (tyrwplias done for me. For six years I was troubled with a distressing Cough which seemed, to hid detains to medicine. One half of a bottle cured me. I new weigh 176; my age 18. . F. M. SCHAFER. An Excellent Medicine. Valparaiso, Porter County. Ind-.Mareh M, 187* Dear Sir-1 was afflicted with Dlailr.eas. and after the gun* ’°“ r Scrofula, Indigestion and Generis Debility. Tipton, npton I nuuty. Ind. Dear Sir-Thto Is to certify that y« u Indian Mlood Myras has cured mi daughti rof Scrofula, ssr u “ ttr 8c refits. "mbs. LOUISA t NXWBOUX Neuralgia and Indigeatiea. QUNCT, Owen County, Ind., May 17,187* . Dear Sir- 1 was a great sulf.rrr with Neuralglaand Indlgratlnn, iwmfng almost continualMewdiieh* ..Emit went pevsuMted me to try the valuable Indian Blood Syria, which l did, and found btmiedlaUi ro a*L 1 wouW not be Without it. • At- 1* OHHXLL,