Rensselaer Union, Volume 11, Number 45, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 July 1879 — “ Sa-luting the Bride.” [ARTICLE]

“ Sa-luting the Bride.”

There was a marriage at the upper end of the Detroit, Lansing & Northern Road the other day. A great big chap, almost able to throw a car-load of lumber off the track, fell in love with a widow who was cooking for the hands in a sawmill, and after a week’s acquaintance they were married. The boys around the mill lent William three calico shirts, a dress-coat and a pair of white pants, and chipped in a purse of about twenty dollars, and the couple started for Detroit on a bridal tour within an hour after being married. “ This ’ere lady,” explained William, as the conductor came along for tickets, “ are my bride. Just spliced fifty - six minits ago. Cost two dollars; but durn the cost! She’s a lily of the valley, Mary is, and I’m the right-bower inf a new pack of keerds. Conductor, salute the bride?” The conductor hesitated. The widow had freckles, and wrinkles, and a turnup nose, and kissing the bride was no gratification. “Conductor, sa-lute the bride, or look out for tornadoes!” continued William, as he rose up and shed his coat The conductoa sa-luted. It was the best thing he could do just then. “ I never did try to put on style before,” muttered William, “but I’m bound to see this thing through if I have to fight all Michigan. These ’ere passengers has got to come up to the chalk, they has.” The car was full. William walked down the aisle, waved his hand to command attention, and said: “I’ve just been married, over thar’ sots the bride. Anybody who wants to sa-lute the bride" kin now do so. Anybody who don’t want to, will hev cause to believe that a tree fell on him!” One by one the men walked up and kissed the widow, until only one was left. He was asleep. William reached over and lifted him into sitting position at one movement and commanded: “ Ar’ ye goin’ to dust over thar’ an’ kiss the bride f” “Blast your bride, and you, too!” growled the passenger. William drew him over the back of the seat, laid him down in the aisle, tied his legs in a knot, apd was making a bundle of him lust of a size to go through the window, when the man fared, and went over and svluted. “ Now, then,” said William, as he put on his coat, “this bridle tower will bo resumed as usual, and if Mary and ,me squeeze hands, or git to laying heads on each other’s shoulders,! shall demand to know who laffed about it, and I’ll make him e-magine that I’m a hull boom full of the biggest kind of sawlogs, an' more cornin’ down on the rise. Now, Mary, hitch along, an’ let me git my arm around ye!” —Detroit Free Press.