Rensselaer Union, Volume 11, Number 29, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 April 1879 — The Patent Buffer. [ARTICLE]

The Patent Buffer.

It was a reporter on a live daily who had glued his lynx eye to the keyhole of a Baldwin Hotel room the other day, when he was disgusted to find, on looking up, that the occupant of the apartment was beaming benevolently down on him from the transom. “Day, day!” said the guest, cheerfully, “ guess you’ve struck the wrong number. The man suspected of a forgery and being a politician is next door, and the man with four wives is just acrossthe hall.” “ I—really mus’ excuse,” stammered the for-once abashed special. , “ Not at all; don’t mention it,’ r put in the boarder, jumping down and pulling the quilldriver into the room. “ Fact is, I was just 'laying for one of you fellows; knew you’d be along presently.” “ Want to be interviewed?” .. “No. I want to show you press gentlemen si little invention of mine that ought to be in the possession of every reporter in the country, and it it will bo, too. I expect to sell no end of ’em to your paper alone.” “Do, eh?” . „ ><< Certainly. I call it the Reporters’ Patent Spiral Spring and India-Rubber Nose-Buffer. You nave often in the fulfillment of your duties had the door through which you were looking opened most unexpectedly, inflicting a severe blow upon the nasal extremity. This sometimes leads to inflammation, especially where the keyhole is brass; gangrene sets in, lockjaw, death! Now, all you fellows have .to do is to carry a patent buffer, put up in one of these elegant morocco oases, and ” But the newspaper man made a dash for the elevator,,.and escaped. —San Francisco Post. Custom-House decision in regard to Of a hill* they, shall be entitled to a draw-back;. —Stephen W. Dorsey, of Arkansas, is the youngest United States Senator; being thirty-seven.